Love Sick

by HJ Bellus

  I brush the hair off her forehead with my knuckles. I never want to forget the way her skin feels on mine. Raylan’s rhythmic breathing keeps me grounded as I slide in and out of her. Her heels are digging into my lower back as she clings to me, fighting to feel each sensation.

  I refuse to allow myself to kiss her this time. We can kiss the rest of the morning away until it’s time to leave the ship. I need this time to soak everything about her in. I glide up and down her sweat-slicked body with each thrust.

  “Please, Memphis, God! Please.” She pulls on my hair, asking for more.

  Her demands are making it impossible to take it slow, so I still inside of her. She protests, but I cover her lips with mine and roll us over. Raylan’s hands plant down on my chest. It takes her a bit to adjust to the fit and feeling of being on top.

  Her hips begin to roll on my cock slow and torturous at first. I dig my fingers into the flesh of her ass.

  “Faster. Harder. Fuck me, Sunshine.”

  She throws her head back, doing exactly what I asked her to. Her fingernails are digging into my chest, the pain welcomed. I slam her down on my cock over and over until she’s screaming out my name. It takes everything inside of me to hold back when her pussy strangles my dick.

  I don’t give her time to rest on me. I sit up, her legs wrapping around my back, her hands going to my hair, and our mouths finally meeting. We stay like this, moving slow, taking in everything.

  “Don’t cum, baby. I want to swallow you.” Raylan mumbles into my lips.

  “Anything for you.”

  “We need to get up and shower, baby.”

  Raylan lifts her face from my chest. Her hair is matted to the side of her face. We are a mess from head to toe. We never went to sleep, choosing to spend the entire time making love, sucking, licking, and touching.

  “I don’t know if I can do this, Memphis.”

  I brush her hair back. “Do you want me to leave now? I can take my bag and shower in my room.”

  “No, but I’m going to need you.”

  “You got it.”

  We take our time showering, following our ritual where I’m the boss. My palms touch every surface of Raylan, lathering her up with the scent that will haunt me forever. Cherry Vanilla. Once all the conditioner rinses out of her hair, Raylan turns to me, burrowing in my chest, and sobs under the spray of the shower. My sadness flows down the drain with hers. We don’t leave the shower until the water turns cold.

  Packing is brutal. We both remain silent. We’ve said and done everything and now we are left here to rip our hearts out. The We-Vibe is the last thing left on the bed. I pick it up to put it away in the package including the remote.

  “Sunshine, do you want this?” I turn and show her.

  “Yes.”

  “What bag?”

  She points to her large roller. My one bag is already packed and ready to go. Raylan will need help down with her luggage.

  “I think we have everything, Memphy.” She manages to crack a smile.

  “C’mon.” I hold my hand out. “My little ray of sunshine.”

  We wait for her bags to be taken before walking down the hallway. I eye the ice machine at the end of the hall.

  “I had the biggest boner down there.” I point toward it.

  “You did?” Her hair flies over her shoulder when she whips her face up to me.

  “Yep, I was getting ice the night you ran into me in the hall and thought about you. I mean it was like record books boner size.”

  We laugh about silly shit until we are up on the deck to exit. Brenna and Josi spot us but give us space.

  Raylan reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses me while her tears are flowing from her eyes hot and thick. “You can go, Memphis. I love you so damn much it hurts. I’ll never take off my bracelet.”

  I drop my forehead to hers, my throat slicing with pain. “Thank you, Raylan, for everything. You saved my life.” I crack a smile through the emotion. “Cheesy as fuck, but true. I’ll always love you wherever I end up. You’ll always be my chicken farmer.”

  She shudders in my arms from her sobs, gripping onto my shirt, looking up at me through her tears. We share one more kiss, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths. Raylan pulls back first and fights to talk through her tears.

  “It’s time.” The corner of her eyes crinkles in amusement. “And if I ever need a chair you’re it. Always mine. I love you, Memphis Love.”

  She pushes from my chest, steps back, and nods to me. I’m frozen, unable to move. Josi and Brenna are at her side. Neither of us moves, continuing to stare at each other. I can’t turn my back on her. There’s no way. She’s the love of my life hurting and sobbing; I’m not about to be the one to leave first.

  Brenna sends me a nod. They turn Raylan in their arms walking with her. I stare at the three best friends as they make their way to wait for their luggage. Each second ticks by the smaller they become. Raylan’s hair floats in the breeze and it’s the last thing I see before she disappears around a corner.

  “Sea sickness is the least of my worries on this trip. It's love that made me sick, leaving me a shattered man,” I whisper to myself.

  Epilogue

  A year and a half later

  Memphis

  Mom used to tell me time heals all wounds. It’s bullshit. It made me feel better at the time and that’s all that matters. The grown-up bullshit ain’t so easy. I’d give anything to go back to the days of bicycles, late summer nights, and sleepovers some days.

  Other days like this one I’m content and at peace. There’s nothing like moving to a place where nobody knows you. A clean slate to start over from scratch comes with being free from judgmental stares. It’s made me feel like a brand new man. The one I was meant to be.

  Lima, Peru, was the first place offering me a new beginning. I stayed there a little over four months, immersing myself in the culture and people. My time was spent working odd jobs, creating enough cash flow to live on. It turns out, in the end, my bank account wasn’t the end all game for me.

  “Camila.” I catch her before she falls backward. “Are you okay, Señorita?”

  My Spanish is pathetic. I’m picking up more of the Puerto Rican dialect since living here, not with any of that Spanish on tape bullshit, but living in it.

  “Sí.” Her eyes widen from the surprise as she braces her hand on my chest to steady herself.

  I wrap her up in a hug until she calms down. “Would you like to dine with me, gorgeous?”

  “No señor. See you when you get back.” She reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek.

  Camila is my bright spot. Our friendship was instant and it’s gone from there. She’s a hard worker and shy at times but has opened her home to me. It started with me renting a room from her in an upstairs loft. Her home is right on the beach with a back patio view to die for. After several nights of drinking vino and sharing our personal stories, our relationship blossomed from friendship to love. I’ve moved in downstairs to be closer to her.

  San Juan is a place of beauty. I spend hours at the beach and little shops. Once a week, Camila drops me off in Old San Juan. I walk around for hours admiring the murals on buildings. Each one telling a story, pulling emotions from the inside out. My dream house would be one of the brightly painted ones on that side of town. Camila refuses to move, so, for now, I’ll take my weekly visits there.

  I learned real quick that there’d be no slacking on my cardio while living here. The food is mind blowing. I eat more than I should even though Camila is a fantastic cook. I’m not five feet down the sidewalk when I hear Camila’s sweet voice. It always warms me from the inside out. I never thought I’d feel this way again.

  “Señor, Love tiene un paquete. Llegó ayer tarde.” She waves a brown package above her head.

  She’s determined to have me speaking the language. Camila is animated, giving away what she said. I had no damn idea what she was hollering but by her actions, I can tell there’s a
package for me. Rhett. He’s into sending care packages once a month. Some bullshit about he never had a penpal growing up.

  I jog back up the stairs and grab the package from Camila.

  “I think you just wanted another kiss, amiga hermosa.”

  “Sí.” She waggles her eyebrows, warming my heart.

  So, kiss her I do. The sidewalks are quiet on the stroll to the restaurant. It gives me a lot of time to think and clear my mind. Something I never had back home. I was leaping from one mess to the next always with my head up my ass. All of that vanished the day I set foot in Lima.

  I take my favorite spot on the back patio overlooking the ocean. The crashing waves are always reminding there’s something more powerful out there than us.

  “Buenos días, señor.”

  “Buenos días, señorita.”

  “No Camila this morning?”

  I shake my head. “She’s busy.”

  “You know I like your other half much better than you.”

  “Sorry, Natalia, you’re stuck with me.”

  She swats the menu at my shoulder. “Your normal. Pastelillos de carne?”

  “Sí.”

  Her smile is warm and teasing. “At this rate, you’ll never learn the language.”

  I could live on Pastelillos de carne and can say it better than any other word in Spanish. At first, I thought it was going to be a stuffed biscuit like Pillsbury. Was I so wrong? To die for. I shit you not.

  “Your water.” Natalia sets the water down in front of me. “How is Camila? My mom is so worried about her.”

  “She has good days and bad days. I try to make sure there is more good than bad. I really wish she’d quit working, but she refuses to accept any of my money.”

  “You’ve saved her, Memphis.”

  “I could say the same about her.”

  “It makes me sick what her kids did to her by leaving her all alone.”

  “Their loss my gain. I like to look at the bright side of things. She’s the grandmother I never had.”

  “You’re a good one.” She turns to walk away. “Let me know when you’re ready to be set up with one my sisters.”

  “Will do.” I smirk.

  I take a long drink of ice water and then decide to tear into my package. I quit trying to guess what Rhett would send next. His packages are as random as him. The most disturbing was when he sent a lock of his hair with a note saying so I could know how it felt to carry around a piece of excellence.

  “A book?” I whisper to myself. “I don’t think he knows how to read.”

  I pull out a thick paperback. The cover is a cruise deck with a lifebuoy under the title and a man leaning on the rail. A ginger model at that on the cover in a pair of striped Speedos. His head is turned, gazing out at the ocean, likes he’s hungry to conquer the world.

  “The fuck.”

  I focus in on the title next Dr. Love. Pieces slowly fall together, but it can’t be. I haven’t heard from Raylan in over a year. I think about her every day and night before I fall asleep. I swear I can still feel her on my skin, but they’re memories, nothing else. My mom was right that day on the island and I’ve regretted my decision ever since. I gave up texting and calling Raylan after a month with no response.

  “Son of a bitch. She did it.”

  I know it’s her when I read the tagline Bad Pick-up Lines Really Do Work. Tears spring to my eyes and I don’t hold them back this time. I’m so proud of her. I miss the hell out of her, but this right in my hands means everything. I laugh through the waterworks when I read her pen name. MR Love.

  She chose a combination of our names to represent her work. I think the little shit is trying to kill me. No, I know she is. Underneath her name is a title proudly displayed in italics, #1 New York Times Best Selling Author.

  I flip it over in my hands to read the back of it.

  Dr. Love

  “Bad Pick-up Lines Really Do Work”

  I’m a safe girl. I like safe things like my couch, Kindle, and MacBook. People, not so much. But my once upon a time happened when I fell into a stranger’s lap. It wasn’t graceful. There was a spilled drink and nipple action. He was gorgeous, witty, and caring. Our paths kept crossing like destiny or some shit. I never believed in that type of voodoo. But in the end, his bad pick-up lines won me over. It was a real life instant love. If you don’t believe in instant love then you’re a fool. This is our story.

  I flip it over in my trembling hands careful to not let any tears fall on the pages. The inside is gorgeous. All of the branding screams Raylan. She found herself.

  Dedication-

  To the man who stole my heart, this book is for you. There hasn’t been one day that’s passed you haven’t been on my mind. I kiss my bracelet daily, sending up a prayer for us. Just know this, I’m coming for you!

  Love,

  Sunshine

  I drop the book on the table, shaking out my hands. Chills are racing up and down my spine. My hands are trembling something fierce. I couldn’t pick up that water glass if I wanted to. The tears won’t turn off. I grab my cell phone from my back pocket and slam it down, remembering I deleted her number a long time ago. A website or an email; there has to be some way to get a hold of her.

  The door to the restaurant swings open and slams shut. I don’t have time to play nice to Natalia. My world is turned upside down and rattled to its core. I can’t get my fingers to work. My body won’t calm the fuck down. I’m two seconds away from going fucking nuclear on everyone and everything.

  “Hey, Big Guy.”

  I freeze. I know that voice. This better not be some sick joke. I turn in my chair, shaking worse than before.

  “Son of a bitch.”

  Raylan. She’s here. Her hair a shade darker and longer, cascading over her shoulders in waves is stunning. Her emerald green eyes are bright and full of life. She has confidence for days with her hand on her popped hip and dazzling smile on her face. I rise slowly, not wanting to move too quickly in case she disappears. Her shirt makes me laugh.

  It has a dog’s face on it wearing sunglasses and underneath it reads Doggy Style.

  I can’t move once I’m standing. Shit’s happening too fast, knocking my world off kilter. My heart is pounding so hard I can feel the vibrations in my eardrums. Raylan is the one who moves. Long strides, with her hand on her hip, hair blowing over her shoulder like shit straight from the big screen.

  “Is my vagina crying or are you just that sexy?”

  The moment I hear her voice I close the distance in one, two, three long strides. I have her ass in my palms, lifting her up to me. Cherry Vanilla hits me mucho gusto style, making my dick hard or maybe it’s because of the woman in my arms.

  “Is this real?” I shake my head. “Fuck, I’m a dumbass.”

  My fingertips dig into her ass. God, I forgot how much I love her ass.

  “How?”

  “Rhett and Camila.”

  I can’t get my next question out through the tears. I’m a damn mess.

  She answers everything for me. “I’m staying. Camila has hired me to work alongside her since her health is declining. I fell in your lap that night and claimed you. You’re mine and this is us. I go where you go. All I need these days are my MacBook and man with me.” She kisses me then pulls back and starts talking again. “I brought your goldfish, Brutus, with me. It was one hell of a fight getting him back from Rhett. His gem you shipped home is still in his tank.”

  I drop my face to the crook of her neck, taking my time inhaling everything Raylan. There are no words right now; none that need to be spoken with her in my arms. Everything in my world has righted itself. I still don’t think I deserve her and never will, but my mom didn’t a raise a damn fool. I’m never letting her go again and going to love the fuck out of my girl until my dying day.

  I trail kisses along her neck. Raylan stretches to the side, giving me more of her. My cock wants in on the action, too. He’s donkey kicking the fuck out of the z
ipper in my pants to join the party. It’s time to move this reunion elsewhere. I finish my assault of kisses along her jawline to her chin then mumble into her lips.

  “Sunshine, I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.”

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  HJ Bellus is a small town girl who loves the art of storytelling. When not making readers laugh or cry, she's a part-time livestock wrangler that can be found in the middle of Idaho, shot gunning a beer while listening to some Miranda Lambert on her Beats and rocking out in her boots.

  Lick Her Right Drink Recipe

  Lick Her Right Drink Recipe

  Recipe created by Tiffany Woy inspired from Raylan’s favorite cruise drink. Well, I should say her favorite drink besides a Memphis Cocktail.

  Ingredients-

  Corn Syrup

  Brown Sugar

  Pineapple Orange Coconut Juice

  Orange Juice

  Peach Schnapps

  Malibu Rum

  Frozen Peaches

  Frozen Strawberries

  Ice

  Directions-

  Rim a clean glass with light corn syrup and then rub it with brown sugar to give you a sandy beach look.

  Take a separate cup put 3 frozen peach slices in and muddle it to just lightly crushed.