Secret Desire

by Gwynne Forster

  “How long since you stretched out in a bed?” she asked him.

  “Day before yesterday.”

  “Luke, I don’t know how to thank you, but you know that I do.” Her hand drifted upward to his face, and she didn’t try to hide what she felt.

  He stared into her eyes, aware that his own must be fiery orbs of passion. “Listen, honey, what you’re feeling right now is gratitude.”

  She pressed her thumb into his bottom lip. “Is what you’re feeling, gratitude?”

  “Kate, I won’t go that route again. I couldn’t bear it twice in my lifetime.”

  Feminine want shouted to him from every pore of her body as her finger traced first his bottom lip and then moved up to close his eyelids. Every nerve in him screamed in frustration, and when she lifted her arms to him and parted her lips, he seized her to him and found in her mouth the sweetness for which he yearned. She opened to him, and he drank in her frustration, yearning, and, yes, her loving. Her body moved against him, and she battled him with her tongue until he surrendered to his rising passion and rose against her.

  Every movement she made told him that she was his, there for him, but he couldn’t accept what she offered, not when he had to keep his own counsel. He put as much space between them as he could without offending or hurting her.

  “Honey, we agreed to control this thing. Of all times, this isn’t the one to lose our heads.”

  She stepped back as if to give him the benefit of her attitude, as well as her voice. “I haven’t lost my head, but I’m sure that after almost three days without sleep, you must be tired.” She bit her bottom lip and let what passed for sympathy flood her face. “You need your rest.”

  He couldn’t help laughing. At times, he forgot how good she was at mugging. “I’m tired, baby, but when I get that tired I’ll be ready for a box. Now, mind your manners,” he added for levity. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He left, but this time he knew his stride didn’t bespeak his usual confidence. Kate had just served notice that it was she who called the shots in their relationship.

  Chapter 6

  Kate sat down and read the letter a second time. After her thirty-six hours of terror during Randy’s disappearance, the prospect of two weeks of her cousin Jessye’s company loomed more like misery than pleasure. If she’d ever known a more affected human being, right down to the way she spelled her name, Kate didn’t recall it. In the small South Carolina town in which they’d grown up together from babyhood, Jessye wore an invisible crown. The local African-American population expected Jessye to have the latest styles, wear the best and most attractive clothes, the latest hairdo and the most dazzling Flo Jo fingernails. Nobody knew how Jessye managed this, since she was reasonably virtuous. Looking back, Kate concluded that setting oneself apart wasn’t too much of a stretch in that Bible Belt town of only three thousand people. She hadn’t envied Jessye; admiration more nearly described her feelings for her flamboyant cousin, but sharing a bedroom with her for two weeks would probably drop Jessye a few notches in her esteem. Frivolity could wear on a person.

  She couldn’t help feeling sorry for Jessye, who’d walked away from an unwholesome marriage, straightened out her life, and now was once more crying the blues. For the first time in Jessye’s life, a man had dumped her. Kate didn’t let that fact concern her, for she knew that all Jessye needed was a target. The next man would heal her wounds, and quickly. She went to the phone and called her cousin.

  “Sorry about you and Ed,” she told Jessye after they’d greeted each other. “Come on up. You’ll have to share my room, because I don’t have a guest room, but I can handle that for two weeks.”

  “I knew you’d come through for me, honey. I can’t face the gossip. I must have been the only person in town who didn’t know he was making out with Wanda Morton. I’ll be up day after tomorrow. Only the Lord and I know how much I thank you.”

  She’d forgotten Jessye’s penchant for drama and overstatement. “Add me to that list,” she said dryly, “and don’t bring too many clothes, because I’m short of closet space.”

  After they talked a few minutes longer, Kate hung up and moved half her clothes into Randy’s closet. He’d raise a commotion about it, but she had no other solution; Jessye wouldn’t come to Portsmouth without half of what she owned.

  “This is one fab-u-lous spot,” Jessye crooned as they entered Kate’s bookstore the morning after Jessye’s arrival. “What a great place to meet men!”

  Kate tried to ignore the chill that snaked down her spine at those words. “Don’t get used to that chair,” she said as her cousin sat down and crossed her long shapely legs. “You need to get your mind off yourself, and work will do that, so prepare to help me shelve books.”

  “Sure. Show me the children’s section. Maybe I’ll pick up on something new for my third graders. I can’t find anything much more taxing than Barney Google down there in Bates, South Carolina. And I want some books on Native American children.”

  Jessye quickly classified the books in the children’s section, rearranged them accordingly, and put up a sign featuring the new books. Before noon, half a dozen of them had been sold. Kate saw that a second person in that store could help her promote and improve her business. She’d have to examine her books to see whether she could afford an assistant.

  She answered the phone, and a weight settled in her chest when the voice she heard was that of her book distributor and not Luke. The door of her store opened, and her heart leaped, but it returned to its normal place when she saw Axel walking toward her. She finished the conversation and beckoned to Jessye.

  “Over here, Jessye. I want you to meet one of Portsmouth’s finest, Detective Lieutenant Axel Strange.”

  As she’d expected, Axel beamed at them. He took both of Jessye’s hands, as though he’d waited all of his life to meet her. But Kate couldn’t dismiss her sense of wariness: Axel didn’t impress Jessye. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t play with him, but she was still looking—still on the make. And Jessye was never without a man.

  “I’m happy to meet you, Jessye,” Axel said with unmistakable sincerity. “I hope we’ll get to know each other better.”

  “Me, too,” Jessye replied airily, and Kate had to wonder if Ed, back in Bates, South Carolina, had really done a job on her cousin.

  She thought Jessye would get Axel out of her hair, but he immediately turned to her with his usual plastic smile. “We’re all giving thanks that Randy is safe.”

  “Now that is a nice surprise,” she said. “I hadn’t realized you cared, Lieutenant.”

  He stepped closer to her, signalling his intention to continue his pursuit. “Now, Kate, you know I’m deeply concerned about anything that affects you.” He meant his smile to dazzle her, but it shone to no avail.

  She stared at him with the full measure of her displeasure until he fidgeted, his arrogant demeanor temporarily vanished. “Concentrate on someone else, Axel, you’re wasting your time.”

  “Honey, don’t be so hard on this nice man. He looks to me like the answer to a girl’s dreams.”

  Axel whipped around and looked at Jessye. He didn’t smile, only gazed at her. Kate shook her head in wonder. Jessye had hooked another one, and she wasn’t even interested. When Axel turned back to her, his charm once more at work, Kate wondered what he wanted. Surely, he wouldn’t try to tell her that she interested him after ignoring her at a time when he knew he could have helped her. She went into her office and left them alone. They deserved each other.

  Keeping his distance from Kate Middleton wore on Luke until he began to look for excuses to call her, reasons that wouldn’t seem personal. He had to talk to her. He got up from his desk and went out of his office to the water cooler.

  “Meet Kate’s cousin?” Axel asked him.

  He didn’t know Kate had a cousin, and he’d as soon Axel didn’t know that. “How’d you like her?” he bluffed.

  He couldn’t help being amazed at Axel’s subdued manners. When th
e man replied, “I don’t know. She’s…she’s really something,” he knew he had to find an excuse to visit Kate’s Friendly Bookstore.

  He read Cowan’s report. The officer had frustrated two men in their attempt to break into Kate’s store, the two had fled when the squad car came into view, and he hadn’t been able to catch them. If he knew what the thugs were after, he’d know how to find them. Sooner or later, they’d make a blunder, and he’d be there.

  Jenkins wanted to get home early, and Luke readily agreed, seeing an opportunity to take Randy to the store after he finished at PAL. As usual, Kate met him at the door. Her quick kiss, virtually a public statement, left him nonplussed, until his gaze caught Jessye. The woman walked up to him, introduced herself, and linked arms with him as though Kate didn’t exist. He looked from one woman to the other, from the tiger to the kitten, and decided not to laugh. Kate knew Jessye, he surmised, and didn’t plan to put up with her foolishness.

  “Hello, Jessye. I’m glad to see that Kate has some help. I’ve been concerned about her being alone here, and especially after dark.” He slid an arm around Kate’s waist and extricated himself from Jessye’s clutches. “Where’re you from?”

  He hadn’t meant to rip out her feathers, only to clip them, but the woman appeared crestfallen. “I’m Kate’s cousin. We grew up together.”

  “Yes,” Kate added, her voice drier than usual, “she’s staying with me for two weeks.” He noticed that she emphasized the two weeks.

  “Good. Then you and Randy can go to Caution Point with me for a weekend, since you have someone who can mind the store.” He’d planned to take them soon, but mentioning it now was a statement for Jessye’s benefit, though he guessed she didn’t care to whom a man belonged if she wanted him.

  “Does anybody have an aspirin?” Jessye asked, holding the side of her head. “I declare y’all have got to do something about the air in this town.” A deep long sigh poured from her. “Clean air’s about the only thing good you can say about my small town.”

  “I don’t have anything here for headaches, Jessye, and if the air’s going to bother you, I suggest you buy a few bottles of pills before we head home.”

  “I can go get some, Mom,” Randy said.

  “Anything to postpone studying. Right?” She hugged him, thankful that he was alive and healthy. “Go do your homework, Randy. Jessye will be fine.”

  Luke glanced at Jessye to see how she took Kate’s brush-off and found her gaze settled on him, open and vulnerable. Her blush confirmed that her interest in him was anything but sisterly. He’d been the target of many women, but this one was a master, and she meant business. He’d have to watch his every step.

  “Think you can make it next weekend?” he asked Kate. “Jessye’ll be gone the following Saturday, so let’s take advantage of this one.”

  “I don’t want to go to Caution Point,” Randy said.

  “Why not? You can fish, walk in the woods, swim and have a great time with my family.”

  “But what about my clients? Who’ll deliver stuff to them while I’m gone?”

  “You’ll only miss Saturday, and Officer Jenkins will take care of that for you.”

  Randy didn’t seem satisfied with that. “Okay. I’ll ask him and let you know what he says.”

  Luke stifled a grin. The boy was shaping up quickly. He already had a sense of responsibility for the senior citizens to whom he delivered lunch six days a week.

  Letting Randy know that he respected the boy’s concern for his clients, Luke replied, “Good. Let me know as soon as possible.” He’d make sure Jenkins cooperated.

  “Nice to meet you, Jessye.” He looked at Kate. “Walk me to the door?”

  “She’s quite a number,” he said of Jessye, “but her type gives me the willies. Don’t get any notions in your head.”

  She stared into his eyes. “I thought you’d backed off.”

  “Yeah, but how I feel hasn’t changed. How about another one of those little kisses you laid on me when I walked in here?”

  Wicked fire danced in her eyes, and he figured he’d just made a mistake. When she placed a hand on each side of his face and pressed her parted lips on his, he was sure of it. The scent of her perfume filled his nostrils, and the hardened tips of her breasts pressed into his chest while her tongue flicked against his lips. Heat roared through him, and he had to turn sideways to prevent his certain arousal. She opened her mouth and he plunged in, mindless of his vows to himself and the whipping his common sense poured on him. His arms tightened around the warm, sweet bundle in his embrace, and he lost himself in her loving.

  “I see I’m gonna need a lot of aspirin, what with you laying it on the captain like that,” Jessye said after Luke left them. “Honey, that scene made a living goose pimple out of me. Girl, I sure hope he’s not monogamous.”

  Kate hadn’t expected Jessye to make such a brazen play for Luke, though her act hadn’t been a complete surprise. Her cousin flaunted her sexuality, but back in Bates she’d always employed some discretion. Apparently, the anonymity of a city gave her carte blanche to be her real self.

  Kate gave Jessye what she hoped was a withering look. “Jessye, the men in Bates, South Carolina, are not the standard for this world. So mind your act. And put on a bra, for goodness’ sake.”

  Jessye looked toward the ceiling and let out another of her long, deep sighs. “Don’t be silly. That’s like locking up your guard dog when you’re expecting prowlers. Why do people have ammunition if they don’t plan to use it? Next thing I know, you’ll tell me to wear a girdle.”

  Kate couldn’t help laughing. “Not on your neck. Walking behind you is too much fun.”

  “Go ahead and laugh. I don’t remember missing out on a man I wanted. Can you say that?”

  Kate shrugged as if to dismiss the argument. “I wish I’d missed out on the one I got. I thought he was the man for me, but he disabused me of that notion before we’d been married six months. I’m not going to scale any walls to get a man, no matter how much I want him. Even if he’s eaten up with desire, he can still be as disappointing as a wet match.”

  Jessye walked around to face Kate, who’d been dusting a shelf of books. “You didn’t used to be like this. You’re pretty sure of yourself. It doesn’t bother you that I might decide to go for Luke, does it?”

  Kate spread out her hands, as though she didn’t care what Jessye did. “Go ahead, girl. Shoot your best shot. Scrambling over a man is a waste of time. Men go for the music that makes them dance. Cover the cash register, will you? I have to see what Randy’s doing.”

  Though she’d behaved nonchalantly about Jessye’s designs on Luke, Kate knew she was anything but unruffled. She’d meant it, though, when she said she wouldn’t demean herself by fighting for a man. Luke wanted space, and she planned to give it to him no matter how Jessye acted.

  She looked over Randy’s drawing of a distiller for his science class. She never had to urge Randy to do his science and art homework, but faced with social studies he could be obstreperous.

  “That’s a perfect sketch. You have any more homework?”

  He shook his head. “No, but I have to work out a plan for my clients.”

  “What kind of plan?”

  “Well, the precinct has all these vans, so why can’t my clients have a picnic? They can walk.”

  Why not, indeed? “Have you discussed it with Captain Luke or Officer Jenkins?”

  “Can we go by Captain Luke’s house tonight, and I can show him my plan?”

  “But, Randy—”

  “Each group has to have a plan for its clients, and my group expects me to help us win, Mom. Please!”

  If she drove him to Luke’s house, she’d have to take Jessye along, too, and she’d had as much of Jessye’s gushing over Luke Hickson as she could stand for one day.

  “We’re going home. You may call him and ask him to come over to our place.”

  “I can?”

  She gave him the phone n
umber and left the office, because she didn’t want Luke to think she’d prompted Randy’s call. Still, she knew he’d come, and her heart had already begun its wild boogaloo in anticipation of the minute she’d lay her eyes on him.

  Luke had his own misgivings about the visit, but he didn’t want to discourage Randy. The boy had done an about-face since he’d found him huddled in a dark corner of the basement of the Police Athletic League building, and he had to encourage him. But he didn’t relish another encounter that day with Jessye-whatever-her-name-was. He pointedly chose a time after dinner, but everything inside of him seemed to droop when Randy, not Kate, opened the door. At least Jessye hadn’t opened it.

  Randy presented him with a good plan, one that he was fairly certain neither of the other groups would equal, and he accepted it. As he prepared to leave, he said to Randy, “Would you please ask your mother to come here for a minute?”

  “You wanted to see me?” Kate asked him.

  “Yeah. I want my kiss in private, and I don’t want to hang around the door while your cousin practices her lasso technique.”

  Her hearty laughter, twinkling eyes, and scintillating perfume shouted Stay, don’t leave. He let his lips brush hers, and when she grinned, all feminine allure, he capitulated, gripped her tightly in his arms and swallowed her sweetness. Undone by the swift peaking of her passion that threatened to drag him into full-blown desire, he stepped back and looked down at her. He couldn’t be the servant of his libido every time she was near him.

  “What is it about you that I can’t…Look, I’ve got to go.”

  Quiet and seemingly unruffled while his blood raced madly, she gazed up at him. “Are we still going with you Friday afternoon?”

  He wanted to shake her until she screamed that she felt what he felt, needed what he needed. But he acted the lie, just as he knew she did. “Of course. I’ll pick you and Randy up at home around four-thirty.”