Secret Desire

by Gwynne Forster

  “Luke!”

  Still holding her off the floor, he buried his face in the curve of her neck. She called his name several times before he set her on her feet. This Luke was not the disciplined detective that he’d always presented to her, but a primal man from whom an aura of wildness emanated, who had an earthiness, a raw texture that both excited and frightened her.

  “Luke, I didn’t mean for anything like this to happen. I just wanted you to—”

  He interrupted, his voice winded and gravelly. “Don’t tell me that. I don’t believe it. It’s been eating you just like it’s been gnawing at me since we stood in my brother’s foyer Friday before last. You wanted to get to me just like I wanted to get to you. It’s this way with us, Kate. I feel as if I’m standing here digging my grave. I have to find who’s after you, but I can’t concentrate on the problem, because anytime I’m alone I’m thinking about you. And every time I yield to what I feel, I’m in that much deeper. But, my God, I want you!”

  She looked around, searching for a way out while her trembling body betrayed her longing. “Luke! Oh, Lord. Randy could come over here any minute.”

  He removed his hands from her body. “Don’t I know it? I’ll be over to your place shortly to fix that door and anything else that needs fixing. And you tell Randy I don’t accept rotten behavior from kids, not even if they’re angry with me. I respect him, and he’d better do the same for me.”

  “Luke, he’s hurt. He’s using anger as a cover.”

  He let out a long breath. “I know, and I have to find a way to patch it up, because I care about him. But I won’t give him my cell-phone number. That’s out.” She stared as he leaned against the doorjamb, his arms folded across his chest, his hard biceps emphasizing his masculinity. With his relaxed appearance, he looked as if he’d never had a concern in his life, while the tornado he’d let loose in her still roared in full furor.

  “I understand,” she said. And she did. She turned to go back to her house, then stopped. Who did he think he was, charging her up as if she were a human battery and then letting the unused electricity trickle out?

  She whirled around and faced him. “How can you act so…as if nothing happened? You want me to believe the world didn’t stop two minutes ago when you went at me as if I were the last woman alive?”

  His naked chest sprouted beads of perspiration, and he raised himself to his full height, his feet wide apart, his balled fists dangling loosely at his sides and his eyes narrowed.

  Her nerves went on a rampage, but she was damned if she’d back down. “The rest of us humans should show our feelings, but not you. Is that it?” she said, unable to control the tremor in her voice.

  “What do you want, Kate? Should I show you what I’m feeling right now? You want me to let it all hang out? Is that it? Well, listen to me, baby. If I ever lose control, you don’t want to be there. I’m as full of fire for you this second as I was when I picked you up and pulled you in here. You want me to send my fist through that window as proof? Huh?”

  Her heart thundered, and her lips quivered at the prospect. Yes! She wanted him just like that. Out of control. For once, she wanted him minus his mask. But she didn’t dare risk pushing him further.

  “I’d…better get back.”

  “Yeah. You do that. I’ll be over in a minute to fix that door.”

  Luke gazed after Kate as she crossed the narrow strip of lawn between their houses, and wondered which of them owned it. He had to watch his step with her, because the next time, if there was one, he knew they’d go all the way. And if he did that, he’d as good as committed himself to her. He had to learn to keep his hands off her. He went inside, put on a yellow short-sleeved T-shirt, selected some tools, closed his front door and headed over to Kate’s house.

  An enormous burden fell from his shoulders when Kate told him Randy had decided to remain in his room and paint. He preferred to straighten out his relationship with the boy when Kate wasn’t around.

  “Let’s have a look at that door,” he said as he entered, hoping to set the tone of their relationship. He repaired the doorknob, the stove, electric sockets, several electrical fixtures and rehung a window.

  “Anything else around here that doesn’t work?”

  “Plenty,” she said, “but you can’t fix it with a hammer, nails and pliers.”

  He didn’t look at her. “I have a power saw and a hatchet over there. Think either one of those would work?”

  When he felt a towel strike the back of his neck, he wished he had looked at her. He gazed at her for a second before letting a grin settle around his mouth. “Feeling violent, huh? I’ve been told there’s a relationship between that and what you’d really like to do to me.”

  She could give as good as she got, he saw, when her face bloomed into a smile. “And did your informant tell you what to do when you’re expecting a warm greeting and get an arctic blast instead?”

  His grin took over and spread into a genuine laugh. “Give me some credit. I know how to start a fire. Wouldn’t you say?”

  “What would impress me right now is how you put one out.”

  He knew she’d get mad, but he couldn’t help laughing. “Come on, Kate, lighten up. If I was perfect, you wouldn’t like me any better than you like Strange.”

  “Who told you I don’t like Lieutenant Strange?”

  “The way your body moved into me over there at my house. Besides, Randy can’t stand him, and kids have a way of reflecting their parents’ attitudes.”

  She raised an eyebrow and propped her left hand on her hip, and he knew what was coming. “Right now, Randy isn’t crazy about you. Is he reflecting my feelings?”

  “That’s not what you said a few minutes ago. Come on, honey.” He didn’t know what made him do it, but he stepped closer and opened his arms. “Sweetheart, come here. I know we need to find out where this thing’s going, but my priority right now is protecting your life. For that, I need a cool head.”

  She put her arms around his waist, hugged him and stepped away. “When you can stop blaming yourself for something that couldn’t have been avoided, you’ll see this differently.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. Two strange men have been seen around town. One’s tall, and the other’s older and barrel-chested. If you see them, be certain they don’t see you.” He closed his eyes as reality hit him. “If I’d been thinking straight, I’d have told you about those guys immediately. I can’t afford to lose my edge, Kate. So I’m going to try to avoid scenes like the one over at my place this afternoon. If you’re patient, I won’t have to worry about an arctic blast when I get this thing solved.”

  “All right. But don’t start anything.”

  His smile had to be wan and unconvincing. “I’ll work at it, Kate. And I’ll need all the cooperation I can get.”

  Two weeks later, Kate concluded that Luke didn’t intend to weaken in his resolve to keep his hands off her. She found that she didn’t mind, though he managed it by staying away from her. She had as much as she could handle with Randy having reverted to his old, disobedient self and Axel constantly in her way. If he wasn’t sidling up to her, he was hitting on Jessye when he thought she didn’t see him. Luke stayed away, and she could count on Jenkins taking Randy to PAL every afternoon and bringing him back to the store at five-thirty.

  “How does he behave at PAL?” she asked the officer after Randy had gone into her office.

  Jenkins displayed a reticence to talk that she figured was somehow related to Luke. “Well…he does what he’s supposed to do, and keeps his group ahead of the others.”

  So he didn’t intend to mention Luke. All right, she’d ask him. “What about Captain Hickson? How does Randy get along with him?”

  “Kate—if I may call you that—Randy’s not an easy child. He nurses a grudge the way old people hold on to their youthful memories. He won’t go near Luke.”

  “Just as I thought…and of course, you may call me Kate.”

  Jenkins ran his
hand over his hair. “I can’t figure him out. He’s devoted to those ten old folks that he takes a hot meal to every afternoon, even refers to them by their names, knows what they do and don’t like to eat, and puts on a stink if there’s a mix-up in their meals. He’s a good kid. But—”

  “I know, and I can’t figure out what to do about it.”

  Jenkins leaned against a row of shelving. “Luke was magic with Randy. He didn’t indulge him, and he made some solid demands on him, but Randy loved him.” He shook his head. “I tell you, it beats me. See you tomorrow.”

  Kate helped a woman who’d planned a vacation in Italy find an English-Italian dictionary, then went in her office to speak with Randy.

  “Did you see Captain Luke at PAL this afternoon?”

  He kept his gaze on the desk. “I haven’t been looking for him.”

  She slapped a hand on each side of her head, looked toward the ceiling and rolled her eyes. “Randy, I’m tired of this attitude. I made a mistake when I told you to call him rather than—”

  “Will you please can it, for Pete’s sake? I’m sick of hearing about him. I’m going to find Grandma Middleton. She won’t like him, either.”

  Kate stared at her son, and Nathan’s stories about his parents’ low esteem of her once more crowded her mind. “How do you know they won’t like him?”

  “’Cause Daddy said they were rich, and people had to look up to them.”

  She grabbed his shoulders. “People don’t have to look up to anybody, and certainly not because the person is rich. If you want respect, Randy, you earn it with honesty, integrity and common decency.”

  “But Daddy said so.”

  She didn’t want her son to lose faith in his father, so she changed the topic. “These little doodles you’re always making. Miss Martha Jessup wants to include some children’s art in her gallery. Pick out the ones you like best, and we’ll drop them at her place on our way home.”

  “Where’s your boss?” she heard Axel ask Jessye, a hopeful ring in his voice.

  “In the back with Randy,” Jessye said. “What can I do for you, handsome?” After a brief silence, she went on, “Want something to read, honey?”

  “Now, Jessye, quit fooling around. Why won’t you give me a break? I’d settle for a movie tonight.”

  “With me? Lord, and here I thought you were hot after my little old cousin. Men up north where you come from sure must play it close to the chest.”

  “But, Jessye, that’s only because she was here before I saw you, and she expects me to pay attention to her.”

  Scoundrel! Not even he believed that line. And if he thought Jessye was from the sticks and had a head full of hayseed, he had a surprise coming.

  Jessye didn’t make him wait for it, either. “Honey, just because I left South Carolina less than a month ago doesn’t mean I was born the day before I got here. You’re after Kate, but you want me. I’m dying to see how you plan to manage that.”

  Met your match, buddy, Kate said to herself. When it comes to two-timing, Jessye wrote the book.

  “Don’t tell me you’re chasing that stud.”

  “What stud? I never have to go after a man. Honey, you got bats in your belfry. I do declare! If you’re not one big laugh.”

  “You know who I’m talking about. Hickson.” The seductiveness went out of his voice. Even listening through the door, the words came across with a snarl.

  “Captain Hickson? A stud, huh? Well, sugah, if he’s a stud, I haven’t seen any evidence of it. I’ll have to check that out.”

  Enough of that. Kate ambled casually out of the office. “Well, Lieutenant. How’s it going?” She squelched a laugh. If the man had been caught stealing, his face couldn’t have had a more guilty expression.

  “I, uh…How about the three of us taking in that Will Smith movie?”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t crowd your date with Jessye. Besides, I promised Randy I’d take him somewhere. You two have a good time.”

  Jessye’s deep sigh heralded a piece of acting worthy of Katherine Hepburn or the great Ethel Waters, and Kate primed herself for some first-class entertainment. Axel looked at Jessye, his real target.

  She sighed again, this time more deeply, and swayed slightly for good measure. “One of y’all please hand me my aspirins. I do declare these headaches have got to stop.”

  Axel showed more guts than she’d have credited him with when he said, “Aw, Jessye, you didn’t have a headache a minute ago.”

  Jessye stopped wilting and narrowed her eye. “A minute ago no man had ever asked me to go out with him and some other girl. Last time I did that was when my daddy made my big sister go with me and my date to Sunday evening Baptist Training Union. Kate, hand me my aspirins in that drawer, please.”

  Kate gave her the bottle. Axel rushed to the water cooler and returned to find Jessye sitting down with her head thrown back and eyes closed. He gazed down at her with such longing that Kate couldn’t watch. If he’d never had a broken heart, he was about to learn how it felt.

  Luke strolled through Jessup’s gallery, as he frequently did, searching for good paintings by unknown African-American artists. He couldn’t find anything that interested him, and started out just as Kate opened the door. He greeted her and Randy, but fixed his gaze on the boy, who averted his eyes and barely mumbled a greeting. What had given this child such a hard heart at so early an age? He suspected that the boy had suffered too many disappointments. No matter what it was, he’d find out.

  “We came to give Miss Martha some of Randy’s drawings. I hope she’ll agree to hang at least one of them.”

  “Mind if I have a look?”

  As he expected, Randy didn’t want to release them. “She has a couple of my things on that back wall, Randy.”

  “Which ones?” Randy asked—the first words the boy had said to him in three weeks.

  He told him and decided not to press further for a reconciliation. Less often proved to be more. When he looked at Kate, he knew he’d been wise to stay away from her. Her soft greenish brown eyes mirrored a longing that he, too, felt, and that opened up that hole in him, that awful pit of loneliness that made a mockery of his strength and his accomplishments. Beneath it all, he was merely a man who needed the love and caring of his woman. A churning began in his belly as if his insides were under attack.

  She took his hand. “I hope you’re all right, and…and everything’s fine.”

  He nodded. “Me, too.” Aware that she’d had a need to touch him, he squeezed her hand. “I’ll be in touch.”

  As he stepped out of the gallery, his cell phone rang.

  “Hickson.”

  “This is Rude. One of the brothers just saw those two goons on Deep Creek headed toward Race Street.”

  “Anything stand out?”

  “Yeah, man. They’re still wearing those nineteen fifties fedoras. We’re tailin’ ’em to see where they go.”

  Luke raced to his car, paged Cowan and gave him the information. Deep Creek and Race was only five blocks from Martha Jessup’s gallery. He went back inside and looked around until he saw them. Randy stood staring at one of Luke’s eleven-by-eighteen color doodlings. “It’s awesome,” he heard the boy say as he approached them.

  “Thanks. Did she accept one of yours?”

  The boy’s eyes widened in surprise at seeing Luke. “Two of them, but she has to frame them.”

  “I’ll drop by and have a look in a day or so.” He didn’t want to alarm them, but he couldn’t risk leaving them alone. “Kate, remember those two men I told you about?” He said it softly, so that Randy wouldn’t hear. “They’re not too far from here right now, so we’d better leave.”

  Randy didn’t want to go. “I’m not going anywhere till I look at all this stuff.”

  “Randy, please. I don’t want a scene here.”

  “Let him go by himself,” Randy protested. “I want to stay and look at the paintings.”

  He didn’t have time for Randy’s histrionics.
“Do you want me to pick you up and carry you out of here? Your mother wants to leave, and you’re going. I thought we agreed that you’re old enough to put your mother’s interests before your own. Let’s go.”

  “Oh, all right. I’m sorry, Mom.”

  “You drive, Kate, and I’ll tail you. And park in your garage.” Something didn’t make sense. How had those guys known where Kate was? He slapped his forehead with his left hand. Of course! They’d been around town buying spies, human tracking devices.

  He followed Kate and Randy to the door of her apartment. “Thanks, but I won’t come in tonight. Kate, I want you to call Cowan tomorrow morning when you’re ready to leave. He’ll tail you to the store. And I think it’s a good idea to lock the front door and use the buzzer from now on. Okay?”

  When she swallowed, her eyes had that wide-eyed vulnerability in them that he’d noticed the morning he met her. He knew that for all her bravery, fear was eating at her like termites in a neglected building, undermining the foundation of her independence. He wanted to hold her and never let her out of his sight, but if he so much as touched her…

  “Don’t worry about this, honey. I’ll—”

  “Ju-just hold me, Luke.”

  He stared down at her, and all he could think of was the way her body caught fire when he touched her. “Kate, this isn’t the…Ah, baby…”