Scandalous

by Murray, Victoria Christopher

  That was the advantage he had. He didn't care; he had nothing to lose. I cared and had everything to lose. How was I supposed to fight under those circumstances?

  I didn't know, but I had to figure it out. I had to find a way to stop running, turn around, face Roman and stare that devil straight in his eyes. He needed to be the one running from me.

  But how?

  I thought I'd scared him with the police, but apparently not. I guess he knew I wasn't willing to take that risk. I needed to get something on him, something that was equal to what he had on me.

  Here was the thing, though--I'd let him into my world, but I didn't know a thing about his. Besides the fact that he worked on Muscle Beach and moonlighted as a stripper, I didn't know anything else. How could I blackmail with nothing?

  Without blackmail, what was left? I needed some kind of threat. I paused and thought about that.

  A threat.

  A threat!

  I couldn't get out of that chair fast enough. Rushing into my closet, I scrambled through all of my purses on the shelf in the back until I found the one that I was looking for.

  “Please, let it be here,” I whispered as I checked every single pocket.

  And there it was, in the side panel: the ring and the card.

  How could I have forgotten about this? My eyes went from the ring to the card, and right there in my closet, I looked up toward heaven. 'Cause even though I wasn't living my life anywhere near God, it was clear that for some reason, He was hanging out about me.

  In my hands, I held the keys to my freedom. Kenny and I were going to have our forever, for always.

  Tiptoeing out of the closet, I glanced at the clock. I wanted to get dressed and dash out of the apartment right then, but I only had about two hours 'til dawn. I could wait. It would be hard, but I could do it.

  I slipped back into bed, tucked the card and the ring underneath my pillow, and laid my head down. And for the first time in a long time, I slept in peace.

  Chapter 18

  I was up and out before Kenny had even awakened. He was going to be frantic when he woke up and realized I wasn't there; I was sure of that. But hopefully he'd see the note that I'd taped to the bathroom mirror letting him know that I was fine and feeling better and had forgotten about an early meeting. I explained it all: how I was going to catch a cab to work and call another cab at noon so that I could go pick up my car.

  My hope was that the note would be enough to keep him calm and to keep him from calling me at work, because he wasn't going to find me there--at least not for the next few hours.

  I couldn't make the call from home, so wearing my navy pinstripe corporate suit and the lowest heel pumps I could find in my closet, I trudged down to LaCienega, with the ring and the card in my purse, praying the whole way that the pay phone at the Shell gas station would be working. I was grateful for the early morning breeze, knowing that by nine, the temperature would be above eighty. By the time I walked those five blocks, I had tiny perspiration beads at my temples, but the phone was working and that was all I cared about.

  As I dialed the number, I prayed Roman would answer. And on the third ring, he did, sounding groggy but still there.

  “Roman, this is Jasmine.”

  “I knew it was you,” he said. “Baby, how are you? I was so worried.” He sounded like he was about to crack up with laughter.

  I wasn't going to waste a moment with him. “I will pay you to go away, to leave me alone.”

  “What?”

  “Thousands of dollars. I have something that's worth thousands and I'll give it to you.”

  A pause. “How many thousands?”

  My heart started pounding. I hadn't really thought about how much Hines's ring cost, but I took a good guess. “Probably fifteen, maybe twenty thousand dollars.”

  I heard his whistle through the phone. “Wow, that's a lot of money.”

  “I know. And it's all yours. I just need you to leave me and my husband alone.”

  “Like I said, that's a lot of money, but you're worth more than a few thousand to me,” he said.

  “It's not a few thousand,” I yelled, not caring that the two drivers at the gas pumps turned and stared. “Look, Roman,” I said. “You really need to take this deal, because one way or the other, this is going to stop.”

  “Well, I'm glad to hear you want this to end. All we have to do is go back to being together and I'll stop everything.” He paused. “Well, not everything, but you know what I'm saying.” He laughed. “I'm even willing to make a deal. Since you're married, we don't have to get together every night. Just four or five times a week and I'll be good.”

  I paused, gritted my teeth, and said, “I'm giving you one more chance, Roman.”

  He laughed. “You keep threatening me. As if you really could do anything. Anyway, will I see you tonight? Or am I going to see Kenny?”

  I slammed down the phone, pissed off that I had even given this fool a chance. But at least I had. And now it was time for me to forget about the ring and focus on the card.

  Dumping another quarter into the pay phone, I made the second call, the one I didn't want to make, but the one I had to. In less than five minutes, the arrangements were made.

  We'd be meeting at Foxtails at 8:15. Glancing at my watch I had a little more than an hour to wait. There was no way I was going to hang out at this gas station, so I started walking again. There was a Denny's about three blocks away. I would go there. Sit, drink coffee, wait, and plan.

  I had given Roman so many chances, and now I was going to come at him with all kinds of guns blazing.

  Roman was going to be so sorry that he even thought about messing with me.

  ***

  It was eight on the dot when the taxi rolled to a stop.

  “You sure this is where you want me to drop you off?” the cab driver asked as he peered through the windshield.

  Glancing out, I saw what he saw: the huge, pink letters. Foxtails.

  “Yes,” I said.

  He shook his head, but only a little bit, as if he didn't really want to judge me. I guess he was still trying to figure it out after I paid the meter and slipped out of the cab. To him, I'm sure I didn't look like much of a stripper in my suit. But not looking like a stripper was a good thing.

  The door was locked and I had to knock and knock and knock. It took him long enough, but after a few minutes, Buck dragged his big hips to the door.

  “You know I don't get up early for nobody,” he growled. But then he looked me up and down and grinned. “You've got to be kidding me. You're really trying to go legit?”

  “I'm not trying anything,” I said, stepping inside of the darkened club. This was the first time that I'd ever been in this place and the music wasn't blasting. It was so quiet it was eerie.

  “Ah, come on. When are you gonna stop playing around, Pepper?” Buck asked, refusing to call me by my government name. “Come back to making some real money. Guys are still asking for you.”

  “What part of “no” don't you understand?”

  “What about taking a few dates on the side?” he asked, as if he couldn't hear me. “I could get you some big money. That's how much these cats miss you.”

  All I did was sigh. The funny thing was, I wasn't tempted at all. What I'd discovered in the last few weeks with Kenny was that love was bigger than all of that.

  It had taken me a long time to discover this, but now that I knew, I was going to fight with everything in me for Kenny's love.

  “I'm not gonna go back and forth with you, Buck.”

  He shrugged as he ambled toward the bar. “You're the one who keeps coming back here. I didn't call you.”

  “I didn't call you either,” I said.

  He chuckled as he opened a bottle of beer. I shook my head. Buck's morning OJ. He took a swig, then jerked his head toward the red curtain. “He's back there.”

  “Thanks.” With the way I was dressed and with my briefcase in my hand, I felt like I w
as going to just another early morning business meeting. I pushed back the curtain and stepped inside the VIP lounge. Just like Buck said, Hines was there waiting for me, with two of his boys standing by the back door like they were on lookout.

  There was no way for me to stop my grin when I looked Hines up and down. On so many levels, I was so glad to see this man.

  “How you doing, baby?” he said as he stepped forward and held me in his arms like he used to.

  “I'm good. Well, at least one part of my life is good.”

  He unbuttoned his expensive jacket, then motioned for me to sit down before he joined me on the velvet couch. When I sat, the hem of my skirt eased up high on my thigh, giving Hines a peek of my thigh-high stockings and garter belt.

  He shook his head. “Hmph, hmph, humph! You still got it, baby!”

  I waited for that familiar feeling to come over me--the feeling I always got when I was around Hines. The feeling that would've had me paying him to have sex.

  But nothing came. All that was on my mind was Kenny. So the only thing I did was smile.

  Hines frowned a little, like he was expecting a different comeback. But that was all I had for him.

  “So,” he began, “you said you had a little problem?”

  I sighed and nodded at the same time.

  “What? Ol’ boy ain't treating you right?” Hines made a fist with one hand and pounded it into the palm of his other.

  “No. No! Kenny is fantastic. He's wonderful. My marriage is great. At least from his end it is. I'm the one who messed up.”

  His forehead crinkled. “Talk to me, baby. What's up?”

  And so I began the story of my infidelity. I told Hines all about meeting Roman at the strip club and then hooking up with him the next day. I told Hines about my wedding and how Roman had shown up and how we'd had hot sex in the bathroom the very next day.

  Hines sat, listening intently with not a bit of judgment on his face. His expression didn't change until I got to the part of Roman coming up on me in the parking lot.

  My voice was shaky as I relived those moments. “He held me against the car,” I said, trying to keep my emotions out of this part of the story too. But it was hard as I remembered just how violated I felt then…and now.

  Hines reached for my hand as I told him how I just got in the car afterward and drove away. I explained how distraught I was that I couldn't go to my husband, I couldn't go to the police, I couldn't go anywhere.

  “You should've called me, baby.”

  “I wish I had, because Roman called me that night.”

  “What?”

  I continued, telling him how Roman expected me to still have sex with him and how that's where his threats started.

  “He's determined to ruin my marriage.” I quivered. When I added the last part about how Roman showed up to the restaurant yesterday and how I'd pretended to faint, Hines held up his hand.

  “That's enough,” he said.

  I was kinda glad he said that; I didn't want to get to the part where I had to tell Hines that I'd offered Roman his ring. I mean, I know for sure that he would've understood, but the thing was, if there was another man that I could've loved besides Kenny, it would've been Hines. From the beginning, Hines touched my heart. He never had sex with me--he made love to me.

  When I stopped talking, Hines and I sat there together as he stared at our entwined hands . It was as if he was playing my words over in his head. Like he wanted to understand everything.

  Finally, he began nodding his head. “You've been through a lot.”

  “Yeah, but I brought it on myself,” I said, putting my head in my hands. I still had trouble believing that any of this had really happened. “I never planned to sleep with him, and then when I did, I'm telling you, Hines, I never planned to do it again.”

  “But you just couldn't help yourself, right?”

  Ouch! I could only look at him for a moment before I turned my eyes away. Here I was, in the place where I'd slept with hundreds of men, but I was so embarrassed by what was going on now. I guess because it was all just so…stupid.

  With the tips of his fingers on my chin, he made me turn back and face him. “What're you ashamed of?”

  I shrugged and blinked back tears. “I don't know. It's just crazy. I was barely married twenty-four hours before I had sex with another man.”

  “I could've told you that was gonna happen, Jasmine,” he said as if what I'd done was no big deal. “You're just like me. We love sex too much; we love the variety. That's why I was so shocked when Buck told me that you were going through with your wedding. I never thought it was gonna happen.”

  “But I love Kenny. I really do.”

  He chuckled. “I didn't say a word about love. People always get it twisted, always thinking love and sex are the same thing.”

  What Hines was saying was a fact! I would never be able to explain it, but I just enjoyed the sex. I loved the adoration I felt when men looked at my body. I loved the feelings that tingled through me when they touched me as if I was a precious jewel. And I loved the power. Seeing men raw, naked, broken down to their lowest denomination. When a man released himself, he was totally powerless. At that moment, he would give up anything--and that was when many gave me everything. I'd even had a couple of marriage proposals when my dates' eyes rolled back in their heads as they quivered in ecstasy.

  “I wish Kenny understood that,” I said. “But he's one of the people who doesn't know the difference between sex and love, and when he hears about Roman….”

  “He won't hear about him.”

  I took a quick breath. This is exactly why I'd come to Hines. “So you'll speak to him for me?” I asked. “Just get him to leave me alone?”

  “Yeah, I'll take care of this. He won't bother you again. You got a telephone number for this cat?”

  I wondered if Hines really thought he could threaten him on the phone, but I wasn't going to ask any questions. “Yeah,” I said, jotting the number down on the back of one of my business cards. “But I don't know anything else about him. I don't know where he lives…all I know is that he works at Muscle Beach and at that strip club.”

  Hines took the card and nodded as if what I'd given him was enough.

  “So,” I said slowly, “you'll talk to him, right? All I want is for him to go away.”

  He looked straight into my eyes. “I'm gonna handle this for you.”

  I sighed, filled with relief. “I can't thank you….”

  He covered my lips with his fingers, stopping me from saying another word. “We're not gonna talk about this anymore. You won't have to worry about Roman contacting you again.” I nodded and he said, “But I do want to say, Jasmine, that you can't be getting yourself into these kinds of situations.”

  I shook my head. “You won't have to worry about me calling you again.”

  “No, that's not what I'm saying, sweetheart. We're gonna be friends forever. You can call me at any time for anything. What I'm talking about is, even though you won't admit it, I don't put a lot of hope in you staying faithful to your husband.”

  My eyes got wide.

  “Now, listen to me before you start getting all twisted. This is not a judgment; it's a fact. Like I said, you and I are the same. You love sex, baby; you're a freak. And that man you're married to is never going to be able to satisfy you completely. So accept that and be smart.”

  “I'm never going to cheat on Kenny again.” I shook my head so hard, I knew I was gonna have a headache later today.

  “Trust me, baby. You're saying that now, and I'm not gonna debate that with you. All I'm trying to do is protect you. You hear me? I'm trying to give you some advice so the next time you find yourself with your thong around your ankles, you won't get caught up in mess like this again.”

  I was insulted, but I nodded anyway. It wasn't like I could argue Hines down. I mean, look at what I'd done.

  He said, “If you're gonna hook up with someone, make sure he has as much to
lose as you do.”

  Okay, at least what Hines was trying to tell me made sense, 'cause that's exactly what I'd been thinking. Roman didn't have anything to lose; I did.

  Hines continued: “Handle your business, do what you have to do…but only go after married men. They don't want a relationship, no matter what they say. They got their relationships at home. All they're gonna want with you is sex--the same exact thing that you want.”

  Even though I knew Hines's words were true, I still felt bad, kinda slimy hearing them. I mean, this felt like a lesson in how to be a successful skank.

  “Trust me,” Hines said. “I know what I'm talking about.”

  “Okay.”

  He kissed the tips of my fingers before he stood, pulling me up with him. Then he hugged me tightly. When he leaned back, he looked into my eyes and said, “You don't have anything else to worry about. Go on home to your husband and hang in there with him for as long as you can. But when that freak starts rising up in you, just remember what I said. Married men, Jasmine. Married men.”

  This time when he gave me a gentle kiss on my lips, I felt that familiar stirring. What in the hell was wrong with me? I was here, trying to preserve my marriage. And now I was starting to think about sex with Hines.

  As if he knew he was holding a fool in his arms, Hines stepped away and strutted toward the back door. Right before he stepped outside, he turned back and blew me a kiss. “Ciao, bella.”

  I stood there for a moment after he left thanking Hines and God (if He was still listening to me) for getting me out of this mess.

  It was over. And I could go and make a life for me and my husband.

  Finally.

  Chapter 19

  It wasn't as though seeing Hines made all of my fear go away. Like I said before, Roman was a special kind of crazy, and I wasn't sure if he would listen to Hines or not. I mean, he should listen to Hines. Shoot, the only thing that kept me from being scared of Hines was that I'd seen him whimper like a toddler whenever he had an orgasm. I knew there was a part of his heart that was soft, and it made me doubt some of those hardcore rumors I'd heard about him.