The Tale of Nefret

by M. L. Bullock

  “Have a care for your words, girl! These are serious charges.” She lowered her voice and circled Ayn like a hawk stalking a snake. “Is this a charge you bring too, anni-mekhma Pah, or is this merely camp gossip?”

  Pah swayed nervously and shook her head. “I do not accuse my sister.” I breathed a sigh of relief but she added, “However, I do not condemn those who have doubts about either of us. I only want what is best for the people.”

  “Very well.” Farrah drew herself tall and straight. “Let us settle this matter now. Follow me to my tent, anni-mekhmas. We will know who is intact and who is not.”

  Farrah stormed through the camp, and the people shuffled to get out of the way. I walked behind the older woman with my head held high. For once I was not going to let Pah step in front of me. How dare she accuse me of such a thing! She knew perfectly well I had not given away my maidenhood! I had no idea what test I would now be forced to undergo, but I would have to endure it. On this I was in the right. Mostly.

  I stepped inside Farrah’s tent and explored the contents with my eyes. It had been many years since I entered her abode; I had been small enough to perch on her ebony and enamel stool then. I used to trace its ornamental pictures of cavorting animals with my fingers. How delightful to see those animals there again, but how sad was this moment. My mind was filled with memories of Farrah exhorting me, “Look into the fire. Tell me what you see.” I never saw anything, and eventually the Old One stopped inviting me to look or to visit.

  Now the same gold medallions hung from the tapestried walls, new birds chirped noisily in their silver cages and the aroma of exotic scents again overwhelmed my senses. It was as if nothing had changed. Except I was no longer that child and the Old One looked truly old now.

  “Sit. Both of you. Mina, prepare for the examination.” Surprised, I glanced behind me. As quiet as a sand mouse, Mina had slipped in unnoticed, except by Farrah. She scurried away to attend to her task, and I sat facing my sister and the Council’s head. “There can be no question about your qualifications. I want you to tell the truth now. Have you, Nefret, lain with a man?”

  “No, I have not.” I met her gaze squarely.

  “Have you made any promises or pledges to anyone?”

  “No, I have not. I would have thought you knew this, since you sent Essa to my tent last night.”

  “I sent no one. What are you talking about?”

  Shocked, I said in a rush, “Essa came to my tent and said that the Council had sent him to watch over me. Is this not true?”

  “I sent no one and know nothing about this. Perhaps your sister can enlighten me.”

  “Me? I know nothing, Farrah. Why ask me?” Her eyes flashed in anger, but behind them shifted something. Amusement? Her voice lacked sincerity.

  Farrah grunted and pulled something from her pocket and tossed it in the flame of a nearby candle. The flame sparked, turned blue and returned to its low burn. “Your words do not fill me with confidence, Pah.”

  Pah’s dark green eyes were like two steady fires burning back to Farrah. “I know nothing.”

  “Very well. As your friend has raised doubts about your sister’s maidenhood, I am forced to confirm it. Still it would be unfair for her to endure this humiliation alone. You too will be examined, and my findings will be shared with your father, the Council and in fact all the Meshwesh.”

  I blushed but we both agreed, and Farrah’s tone softened. “We must show the people that the mekhma is in control of her heart.” She sighed and added, “If your uncle had not insisted in following the Old Ways, this would not have been necessary. Now we must do all things with care. Nefret, follow me.”

  I did as I was told. Pah turned her back respectfully as Farrah lifted my tunic and I endured her uncomfortable probing. It was quick yet humiliating, just as she predicted. “No, you are intact. Now Pah.”

  As my sister did for me, I turned my back as Farrah repeated the physical examination and declared her also intact. “All this fuss for nothing! Do you see? A few words can change a life! It can change your destiny. Have a care, anni-mekhmas, for what you allow to be done in your name.” Farrah washed her hands and rubbed them with oils. “Now, Nefret, comes your first test of leadership.”

  “What do you mean?” Pah blurted out, her offense obvious. I imagined her thoughts: Why does Nefret get chosen for a test and not me?

  “An accusation was made against Nefret. It has been proven a lie. As anni-mekhma, she must address the lie and deal with the offender. Unfortunately, you do not have much time. The final trial begins after breakfast.”

  Pah gasped in surprise. “What? What do you mean deal with the offender?” Ayn was and had always been her closest friend. I had no doubt that my sister had encouraged Ayn’s outburst, but as always, she did not think things through. My sister may have had all the courage, but she had not much in the way of wisdom.

  “Yes, it is her right. She may claim the girl’s property—she may have her beaten by her mother or she may make a public spectacle of her and parade her about the camp on a rope if she likes. It is no concern of yours, unless you have something to say.”

  Pah stared at the carpet and shook her head.

  “Speaking lies or repeating them about an anni-mekhma is as serious a charge as speaking against the mekhma. It will not be allowed, nor will the people allow it to go unpunished.”

  “Nefret, you cannot do this,” Pah said, rising to her feet. “She has done nothing but repeat what she heard. It is no secret that you desire Alexio! How can you deny it?”

  It was my turn to rise now. “You would come to Ayn’s defense but would leave me to face an angry crowd? You have no right to ask me anything! It is you who pines for Alexio! It is you who sent Essa to my tent! Go ahead! Deny it!”

  “I deny nothing!” she said, her eyes like lightning glass again, her mouth a firm pair of pink lines.

  Farrah laughed sourly. “And you wanted to serve together? Now do you see why this is not possible? Make a decision, Nefret. We must go outside now, and I will tell the Meshwesh the truth.”

  Farrah rose from the carpet with Mina’s help. She walked out to face the curious crowd, and again we trailed behind her. I was surprised to see my father standing outside with his king’s robes on and ready to pass judgment if called to do so.

  Farrah did not stop to speak with him, and neither did we. The gathering moved to the edge of camp, to the site where Ayn had made her accusations against me. My mind ran wildly; what would I say? I had no idea. I stood beside Farrah with my head held high, hoping that inspiration would come quickly.

  “Words were spoken here this morning. Serious words.” The crowd murmured their agreement and surrounded us in a loose circle. “I have examined our anni-mekhmas and found these words to be false.” The people expressed their shock and disapproval with hisses.

  All eyes were on me as Farrah continued, “Where is the accuser?” Hands shoved Ayn into the circle. As she stood before me I could tell by her demeanor that she was unrepentant yet a little less confident now. I knew that I should not, but I felt sympathy for her; Ayn was another victim of Pah’s incessant scheming.

  I wondered what prize she had been promised for perjuring herself. For her sake, I hoped it was worth it. Ayn’s family hovered at the edge of the crowd, her mother’s face the picture of fear and worry.

  Farrah faced the girl. “Ayn, you have brought dishonor upon yourself and your family today with your false accusations. Look at your mother’s face! See your father Nari’s shame! Now, we shall hear from the one you slandered. It is Nefret’s right to demand retribution. What say you, anni-mekhma?”

  The morning air felt stagnant; any breeze blowing had disappeared. The eyes of the tribe watched anxiously, and even my father seemed uneasy about my decision. If I condemned Ayn, the tribe would fear me and Farrah would approve, but if I showed her mercy, the family would thank me and my children would approve. I had no way of knowing what Father would recommend. I had s
een him sentence a man to die and in the same afternoon, forgive another. What would Pah do if she were in my place? I cast those questions aside. If I was going to rule, I would have to follow my own conscience.

  “Daughter of the tribe, I bear you no ill will. I know that until this day you have not been a malcontent, nor have you brought shame on your family. Is this not true, my people?”

  The Meshwesh agreed with me. Indeed, until this day, Ayn had done nothing but serve the tribe as an honorable and worthy person. “Therefore, I am inclined to believe that you did not conceive this deception yourself but were under the influence of others.” The crowd gasped at my words, and I could see my father shuffling amongst them. Ayn dropped her face to the sand and stared at her sandals. That was all the proof I needed. Tellingly, Pah had not flinched or showed any response to my veiled accusation. I expected nothing less, yet it angered me that she who had begged for her friend’s life in private would not lift a hand to save it now. I had no doubt Pah’s whispers had ignited this flame.

  When Ayn did not answer I pushed her harder. Stepping close to her I said in a loud whisper, “You said yourself that others told you this lie about me. Am I not to know who these others were, Ayn?” Still she offered no answer. Ayn’s mother, Namari, began to cry softly; her husband tapped her shoulder to remind her to appear strong.

  With a firm resolve, I stepped back and said, “Mother and father of Ayn, come speak to your daughter now before I pass judgment. Remind her that it is better to tell the truth than to spread a lie.” Namari ran to Ayn’s side and grasped her hand. Her father did not stir but stood firm, glancing ashamedly at his king.

  Although Namari spoke in low tones, I heard her plead with her daughter, “Speak the truth and all will be well, Ayn!” Ayn shook her head, staring at the ground and refusing to speak or acknowledge Namari’s pleas. Paimu lingered nearby, but I gestured for her to stay back.

  “Very well, Ayn. You leave me no choice. As Nefret, I forgive you for your hasty words…” Ayn lifted her surprised face to me. Whatever she had expected, it had not been this. But I wasn’t through. “However, as anni-mekhma, I must demand repayment for your offense against me. Do you now confess that you were wrong in accusing me?” I stood in front of her. We were so close, I could hear her breathing.

  “I do so confess it. I was wrong.” The older girl’s voice broke, and she could see that Pah, her dearest friend, had not laid a finger on me to prevent me from punishing her. Her round, brown face crumpled like a flower crushed beneath the weight of a heavy foot. Still, Pah said nothing. She looked bored with the proceedings, unconcerned with the fate of her friend although she had begged for leniency just a few minutes ago. Pah was nothing if not changeable. To some her unwillingness to defend the outspoken Ayn meant very little, but Pah’s silence surprised the friends who had prematurely acclaimed her as their mekhma. No one would trust her now.

  “I claim all your silver, Ayn hap Nari.” Ayn’s face fell, but the girl offered no complaint. “And there is one more thing…I command you to care for Paimu if something should happen to me. You will love her and take care of her like she was your own sister, no matter what happens. Do you understand?” Ayn raised her curly head, her dark brown eyes meeting mine.

  “You honor us, anni-mekhma,” Namari said in a relieved voice. Ignoring the whispers of the people who gathered around us, I completed my judgment with a pronounced nod of my head as I had seen Farrah do a hundred times before. No doubt many would express disappointment that I had not sought greater retribution, as my sister or Farrah would have done.

  “Gladly, anni-mekhma Nefret. I will do this.”

  “NO! I will stay with Nefret! Let me go, Alexio!” I ignored the child and whispered in Ayn’s ear. “Be a better sister to her than Pah has been to me. Do you have sisters, Ayn?”

  “No,” she whispered back.

  “Now, you do.”

  To my utter surprise and shock, she fell to her knee and raised her palms to me in the sign of respect. She was offering me her fealty and friendship! I waved my hands over her to show her I accepted her. She rose with a relieved look on her face. Looking to my left, she stared at Pah, who still seemed unmoved. Suddenly Ayn spat on the ground near Pah’s feet and went to speak to Paimu. The little girl was still combative and ready to fight for her chance to stay with me.

  I called to her, “Go now, Paimu. I must begin my next trial. I shall come see you in Ayn’s tent when I am finished. Be a good girl.” She relented and followed after Ayn, who tried to engage her in small talk. Pah drifted off into the crowd, no doubt to reinvigorate her supporters. Or try to.

  Farrah smiled at me, showing perfectly white teeth. “Child, you are full of surprises. A reasonable and thoughtful judgment. You will make a great mekhma. But tell me, who provides you with such good counsel? I see that Pah has her supporters. Where are yours? Your father, perhaps?”

  “No, I have no supporters. Except Paimu and the other children. It just came to me.” Thoughtfully I added, “I guess the Shining Man is leading me.”

  “Who is this Shining Man you speak of? An Egyptian god, perhaps? Amun?” Farrah’s eyes peered into mine, looking for an answer to a question she had not asked yet.

  “No. He is not an Egyptian god, at least I do not think so… but I have seen him.”

  Farrah clucked her tongue and shook her head, mumbling under her breath. “No Isis or shining god for me. I prefer to pray to my ancestors or to Ma’at. They have seen us this far, and they can carry me back to Zerzura.”

  She spun about in her grey and white robe, her hair a beautiful mass of curls that trailed down her back. Words came to my mind, words I did not speak aloud.

  No, you shall not go to Zerzura, Old One. Your time here comes to an end.

  I shivered as the words drifted away and Farrah paused on the path still speaking to me. I saw her mouth and focused my mind on understanding what she said.

  “Come, come, now. Let us go! Orba and your father will be waiting!”

  Chapter Eight

  The Final Trial—Nefret

  For this trial, the tent was full of people. Pah and I were invited to sit on the tiger furs before our father’s seat. We faced the people, who smiled and offered us well wishes. Nobody spoke about what might happen, about how either Pah or I would be banished to the Red Sands if not chosen. How morbid! If only we could have found a way to defy the prophecy and rule together.

  Ah, but Pah would never allow such a thing to happen. I knew that now, even if I had not believed it before. Feeling sentimental for a moment, I slid my hand under hers and sighed as she snatched her hand away. She did not look at me or open her mouth, but that was the reminder I needed that she played for keeps.

  In front of us were two ebony chests; the lids had been removed and lay next to the chests. One chest was for Pah and one was for me, no doubt, but for what purpose? I didn’t have long to wait; musicians began to play a tune on their skin drums and string and wood instruments. How I loved the sound of the wood instruments, so lonely, so forlorn. It sounded like my heart! Tears brimmed in my eyes as I scanned the crowded tent. I loved these brown and olive-skinned faces. I loved the Meshwesh; we were family, tied together by the blood of Ma and the hope of a prosperous future at Zerzura.

  Our father spoke now, “Come now, Meshwesh. Bless the anni-mekhmas as they prepare for their next trial. If you have a gift to offer, place your gift inside one of the chests and please bless the anni-mekhma who will receive your gift as you leave.” He greeted the people as they approached us. He touched the heads of the children and kissed the cheeks of the older women. Father was always careful to show all due respect to the people, for it was them he served. After the offerings were collected, the chests were closed. Both of us had received quite a few gifts, enough to show that the people truly loved us, but I could tell Pah had received more than I. More evidence that I had no skill at politics. Apparently many still trusted her, despite this morning’s controversy.
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  No matter. I can overcome this!

  Farrah stood in the center of the tent and prayed to our ancestors for guidance. When the benediction ended, she invited Orba to address us. “Now, anni-mekhmas, the final test—the final trial has arrived! As mekhma, you must have the respect and trust of our neighbors and fellow tribes. We send you out now with our treasures to procure for us something of value. You can take no advisor, only yourself, your treasure and any supplies you may need. I now cast lots to determine who will go first and where.” He shook his bag of ivory pieces and scattered them on the floor. He and Farrah peered at them, and Orba declared, “Nefret! You go to Biyat! Pah travels to Kemel. Go now! Represent your tribe!” The Meshwesh cheered, and the women clucked their tongues to show their approval.

  Our father rose and stretched his arms out to us. Hugging us both, he surprised us with a rare show of emotion by kissing the tops of our heads. “Go now, my daughters. Have a care for yourselves and return to me.”

  “Yes, Father,” we murmured and immediately left the tent. Camels had been prepared for us, and the treasures were poured into bags to hide their value from would-be thieves. I felt no fear; I felt nothing at all but grim determination. Feeling the pack and checking the saddle, I rearranged my bow so it would be nearer to me.

  “Go now! Return to us, anni-mekhmas!” I petted my camel, who sat obediently waiting for me. Paimu ran to me crying; her small arms flew around my waist. At that moment, it occurred to me that I had not properly dressed for the day. My sister’s hair was brushed and gleaming, yet mine was still in my sleeping braid. I sighed. Nothing to be done about that now.

  “You promised me, princess! That I would never be without you. You cannot leave me. I will go with you! See—I have sandals and can run very fast. Please!”

  Ayn stood behind her, looking exasperated. “I am sorry, anni-mekhma, but she would not listen to me.”

  I smiled at the child and waved a hand at Ayn to calm her. “Not this time, my monkey. I have to ride very fast to Biyat, too fast for a monkey like you.”