The Tale of Nefret

by M. L. Bullock

  Then like a massive snake, a band of tall men on dark-haired camels raced across the desert in perfect formation. The camels were hunkered low as the riders slapped them ruthlessly to run faster and faster. I swooped down to get a closer look at the tall men’s faces. Their hands were bloody, evidence of a recent assault. Their black clothing was stained with rust-colored blood. They let out a gleeful shout as they sailed across the sands, happy that they had accomplished their evil deed. I dove even closer to get a look at what bounty they carried away. With my excellent falcon vision, I detected living beings.

  Thrown across the saddle of the leader, in a crumpled heap of copper hair and torn clothing, was my sister. An evil gash stretched down her bloody arm, which hung motionless from her side. With her other arm she clutched her ripped gown to cover her naked breasts. I dove down further until I flew beside the giants and was even with Pah. Panicked, I called her name, but all that emerged from my lips was an ear-splitting screech. Pah’s fevered eyes opened, and she looked at me with anguish and regret.

  “Sister!” she cried out, reaching for me with her good hand.

  Suddenly the scene changed—I was no longer a falcon.

  I cried out to her again, “Pah!” She was gone, her face disappearing like someone wiped their hand across a pool of water.

  I stood in an empty valley. I wore warrior’s clothing, a leather vest and armbands, with my quiver on my back. Standing upon a high hill, I watched the horizon and waited for our enemy to approach. Below me were the Meshwesh, few in number but fearlessly ready for battle. They gazed up at me and began to sing the song of Zerzura. I raised my arms high and sang it with them.

  We are the children of the Red Lands

  We are the children of Ma’at

  Zerzura, Zerzura, let us come home to you

  For our blood is your blood, our land is your land

  Zerzura, Zerzura, we come home to you…

  On the horizon I saw the tall men approach on their black camels. They were greater in number this time, with a determined look of absolute hatred upon their faces. In that moment, it was as if I could read their hearts and see their thoughts. It was the gold they were after, the gold and the turquoise, and our children and anything of value. There was no mercy in them. In the valley below me I watched an extraordinary sight—a whistle blew, and the Meshwesh retreated into their secret places. They hid under the ground in hollowed-out holes that were covered with grass and branches. In their hands were their curved blades, sharpened savagely and poised for attack. Some had even taken the trouble of wetting the blades’ edges with poison so that even the most glancing of cuts would be lethal. My heart swelled with pride. I alone stood on the hill above them, a gold shield in my hand. I turned the shield to catch the sun. It glinted, beckoning the Kiffians toward me and to their fate. Again I could read the minds and the hearts of the approaching horde. “We have them surrounded!” I laughed at them as they ran to their doom. The faces of the dead flashed before me, and I awoke screaming.

  Alexio’s handsome face hovered over me. “Nefret!”

  “Alexio? Am I dreaming still?”

  His beautiful smile told me that I was not. I threw my arms around him and held him close. I kissed his cheek and touched his face, hair and arms. “You are here. You are not a dream.”

  “No, I am not,” he said gently. “Your father sent me to find you. The camp is under attack, Nefret. The tall men are Kiffians. They are the ones you saw—I am sure of it. They have murdered everyone at Biyat, Siya and Gemia, and I fear for those at Timia. Even with our numbers we are outmatched and were overtaken quickly. I do fear the worst.”

  He appraised our surroundings. “This is not a safe place. We must go higher.”

  “What do you mean? We must go back! Our people need us.”

  “We cannot help them. I have to protect you, princess. The king ordered me to do so.”

  “Stop calling me that. I am no princess. I am an outcast, remember? I’m nobody.”

  Walking toward me in angry strides, Alexio said, “And yet you want to go back for them? Stop this foolish talk. We do not have time for it. We cannot go back right now, but we will go back. We must be smart and wait a while. Trust me when I say to you there’s nothing you can do for our people now. But they will need you when the battle is over.”

  “How can you ask me to sit here and wait? They have taken my sister—I have seen it!”

  Alexio pushed his hair out of his eyes and stared at me. “What do you mean you have seen it?”

  “I saw it in a dream. I know it sounds crazy—I sound like Farrah—but I did see it! They have Pah, and I must get her back.”

  His face crumpled at the mention of the Old One. “Farrah is dead now. She has died.”

  “What?”

  “And there is more. I don’t know how else to tell you this. Paimu—she is dead too. Both were stabbed and buried in the sand. Before you jump to your sister’s side, you should know that she implicated you in these crimes. In fact my father and yours were in the midst of an argument over what to do about all this when the enemy rode in.”

  “She would never—how could she dream that I would do that! Oh gods, not my treasure! Not my heart! Paimu!” I crumpled under the weight of the shocking news. Alexio caught me, and I freely wept for the sweet little girl I had left behind.

  Never again would I see her climb a tree or hear her count my silver bracelets.

  My heart! I should never have left you, little one! I am so sorry…

  After a few minutes of silence, Alexio said softly, “We must go higher; we must find shelter. The Kiffians rode in from the west—I suspect that they will ride south with…their plunder, but we cannot be sure. Who knows? I do know that you and I are no match for the dozens of warriors that fell on Timia. We need to hide. I think I see a cave opening just there. Do you see it?”

  I pretended to glance up but saw nothing beyond the wall of red rocks. I nodded.

  “Can you make it?”

  “Of course,” I said woodenly.

  With a broken heart I did as Alexio asked. I packed my makeshift tent quickly and followed him up the ragged wall of red. The path to the top was narrow—we left our camels below, but unless someone climbed up, they would not see them.

  Alexio scampered ahead of me and thoroughly searched the cave for animals. It would not be unusual to find a desert cat or a nest of snakes hiding in the cool dampness of the cave. Finding shelter from the heat was the priority of every living creature. Fortunately, there were none, only a few dried snakeskins, and we moved in. Alexio made our beds, and I dug through my bag for food. I suspected he had nothing to eat since he left camp so quickly, and I knew he would be hungry. For me, I did not think I would ever eat again. Paimu’s trusting face haunted me. I could not fathom who could take her life so callously. No life for Paimu. Her murder took not only her life but also the lives of her children.

  Pah! How could you?

  If she had done this thing, she would pay for her crime, I vowed.

  Alexio prepared his weapons and slid a blade under his blanket. I wondered what he was thinking. That this was my fault? That he should be with his tribe and his father fighting our enemies? I wondered why my father would send him to me.

  I shared my bread and water with Alexio, and we hunkered down to wait out the sun. We had a long wait ahead of us; both of us sat in silence wondering what had happened to our loved ones. It was bad enough that Paimu and Farrah were dead, but the truth was that many more would likely die today.

  “What do you think we will find when we go back, Alexio? Will there be anyone left? And where shall we go? We cannot go to Biyat or Siya. The only place I can think of is north to Petra. My father told me to go see the Nabataeans. We need help, someone to stand with us. Maybe the Algeans. They’re always hungry for our gold. What do you know of our allies?”

  “I think we are on our own, Nefret. The Cushites would never stand against the Kiffians—neither would
the Algeans. Besides, the Algeans have all moved to the west.” His dark eyes appraised me, and he rubbed his hands through his dark curls. “There is only one ally I can think of that would help us; only one that would have the strength to hit these Kiffians with a heavy hand. They could crush them!”

  “You mean Egypt?”

  “Yes.”

  “You sound just like your father,” I said contemptuously. Just the idea of begging Egypt for help made my blood boil. I had heard this argument many times between my uncle and my father. “You know what will happen if we go to Egypt. They will take our gold—they will take everything. We will be slaves, Alexio.”

  “Now you sound like your father. What choice do we have? Who cares about the gold and the turquoise if we have no blood in our bodies? Who cares about any of this if we have no life? I would not rule anything out at this point.”

  I leaned against the dry cavern wall and stared at him in the dim light. I sighed and said, “Yes, you’re probably right. And we know nothing and will know nothing until we return to Timia.” A ragged sigh escaped from deep within my soul. “Now would be a good time for the gods to show us the way back to Zerzura. With Farrah’s death, I wonder if we shall ever know.”

  He lay on his pallet and stared at the cave’s ceiling. “She did not know, Nefret. She forgot the way, and you know that. We should rest. If we get up early, we can make our way back and no one will see us—unless we want them to.”

  “Very well.” I lay down too, but my mind would not stop speaking. I agonized over my lost Paimu.

  Despite the blazing heat outside, the cave felt cool and comfortable. Eventually I dozed. We would have a long ride back to Timia. Alexio fell asleep quickly, and his light snoring comforted me. It was funny to think that just an hour ago I believed I would live as a hermit, a forgotten one lost in the dead city of Petra. I had not yet made up my mind as to whether I would contact the Nabataean king or not. That was before. Now, I was not alone. How quickly fate changed her mind about me!

  I frowned into the dimness. Did I want to return to the people who rejected me? Well, it had been my choice to leave without their blessing. Perhaps if I had stayed, things would have been different.

  “Not with Pah,” my own voice whispered in my head.

  I fell asleep but did not dream. My body was tired, my legs sore. It felt good to sleep without fear. Suddenly I was awake—the cave was freezing, and darkness covered the desert sands. The cold threatened to creep into my bones, and I quickly scampered about the mouth of the cave looking for anything I could burn. A small fire would warm us until it was time to ride.

  After I arranged the small pile of debris I found, I cracked my fire stones together to create the sparks. Finally a small blaze began, and I warmed my hands.

  “What are you doing?” Alexio tossed handfuls of sand onto my fire.

  I gasped in surprise and stared at him with my hand on my hip. “What did you do that for? I am freezing!”

  “Do you want to draw attention to us? Then set the cave on fire if you like. I am sure some Kiffian would be happy to take you as his wife.”

  I gasped at his rudeness, but he did not say more. He quickly surveyed the horizon, returned to his bed and rolled his cover around his body. He was determined to ignore me, but I was still cold. And now I was angry too. I crept to the mouth of the cave to peer outside and saw nothing but darkness. I listened and heard nothing. He was right. How foolish I had been to do such a thing! How would I ever survive on my own? I shivered, wrapping my cloak around me.

  “If you are cold, lie next to me. Just don’t set me on fire.”

  I snorted at his comment but made my way to his pallet. My teeth were chattering now, and my sandals offered my toes no warmth. Awkwardly, I dragged my pallet next to his and curled up to his back, my face pressed against him. Still shivering, I enjoyed the warmth. He reached behind his back and offered me his hand. I took it, and he rubbed the back of my hand absently until the warmth returned. Then I wrapped my arm around his. He tossed his blanket around me, and I cuddled closer. Now warm and comfortable, I still could not sleep. Despite the sadness of the day, I was very much aware that I was lying next to the man I loved.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The Red Sands—Nefret

  The ride back to Timia seemed to last a lifetime, but time seemed even slower when we arrived there. Over half of our tribes had either bled out in the sands or perished by Kiffian blades. After a tour of the remains of our camp, it was apparent to Alexio, Orba and me that we had to move quickly. They had not finished their destruction, for some of us yet lived. Our enemies could return at any time, and with our injured we would not survive another assault. Many of our animals had perished, and others had been stolen, including our camels—the only ones that were left were crippled or otherwise harmed. Like most of the Meshwesh, the remaining camels could not endure a long trek across the hot desert. Wherever we went, it had to be close.

  My uncle decided to ride home to Fayyum, gather reinforcements and return to us. It would be a day’s wait, but if the gods favored us, we would have the time we needed to care for our injured. As I walked through the camp sharing water from my goatskin and distributing any food that we could scrounge, I made a mental list of the fallen. Ayn’s parents died in the assault as well as Ziza and her family. We discreetly buried our dead, but I gave strict orders that no warning or lamentation would be offered for our lost ones. We could not risk the sounds attracting the Kiffians or any other traitor who might take advantage of our tragedy. I assured them we would mourn at the appropriate time.

  Mina cared for my father night and day. The older woman did not speak, but an endless stream of tears flowed from her eyes. When first she saw me she grasped me as a drowning man would seize the one who came to save him. She collapsed on me, her silent sobs shaking her body violently. At first I thought she herself had been wounded, for she was covered in blood, but after an examination I could see she was not. Undoubtedly, Farrah’s acolyte wore the blood of those she had tried to save.

  “What happened to Farrah and Paimu, Mina? Can’t you tell me?”

  She looked at her dirty hands and shook her head slowly. I took her face in my hands and could see the anguish in her eyes.

  “What about Pah? Did you see my sister?”

  Mina’s eyes widened, but she kept her silence. If I was to know what had happened to any of them, I would have to find another source of information. I resisted the urge to express my frustration in a way that would harm Mina. She had been through enough. Forcing her to break her vow of silence would not help heal us.

  “It is all right, Mina. Thank you for all you have done.”

  She made the sign of respect and backed away from me, presumably to return to caring for my father. He had not yet recovered—his right arm had been so viciously sliced that it had to be removed. It had hung by a few pieces of skin and threatened to rot and take his life. I visited him many times a day to check on his progress but always left disappointed. He had not stirred or opened his eyes since he had fallen.

  Alexio had been my constant companion. He helped me reorganize the camp, collect any weapons we could scavenge and distribute the food. I honestly did not know how I would have survived without his help. The day of waiting for Omel to return drove me mad. I passed the time wiping away blood and tears and spent any stolen moments I could wondering about my sister’s fate. As night fell, I studied the stars, hoping to find a clue, but saw nothing. The people began to openly call me mekhma, and I did not dissuade them. They needed something to believe in, and I would be that rallying point, at least until my sister could be recovered.

  Alexio and Orba sat with me, and we discussed our next steps. We would have to move slowly, so the plan was to flee to the rocky outcropping where Alexio and I had spent the night. We believed there were enough caves to keep us safe. From there, we would go north, presumably to Petra. I didn’t like the plan, but it was as good as any I could think of.
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  As difficult as it was to believe, we could very easily disappear into the Sahara and never be seen again, or missed.

  When Orba left us, Alexio and I sat quietly with our minds racing. This seemed more and more like an impossible task, yet we never expressed our doubt. We had to live! Although our enemy had stolen our precious treasures, our children, and murdered many of our warriors, they had left us water. Omel would return to the camp in the morning, if all went as planned. I did not even want to think about the possibility that he might abandon us. Surely he would not!

  Alexio and I would have only this one last night together. I felt guilty for the thoughts I had about my cousin. All around us were the signs of death. Yet in my heart I thought of nothing but Alexio. I knew he was thinking the same thing, for at every turn I found his eyes upon me, searching me; his desire for me was obvious even to me, an inexperienced young woman.

  Late that night, when the camp became quiet, Alexio and I found ourselves at the pool of Timia. We had not planned such a rendezvous, at least neither of us spoke of it, but there we were. Together at last. On my order, the camp was dark except for a few small fires used to cook and offer some light; soon even those would be put out. The moon hid itself behind rare clouds, like the gods themselves hid us from our enemies. It rarely rained in the desert—some people could go a lifetime and not see rain—but I could smell the rain in the air. Farrah once told me that whenever you smelled the rain it was a sign.

  Good things always happened when it rained.

  As if it were the most natural thing in the world, we removed our clothing just as we had when we were children. Without timidity we slipped quietly into the pool. There was no giggling, no splashing, no children’s jokes. We swam close to one another, not talking or smiling. Suddenly, Alexio stood up in the water, and his wet, muscular figure gleamed in the moonlight. He offered his hand to me and I accepted it, rising and slinging water from my hair. There was no space between us. I felt the strength of his body pressed against mine, the shocking hardness of him. I felt soft and small but unafraid. We stood together, our bodies pressed up against one another, and we kissed unashamedly. I felt no guilt that Alexio had once been promised to another, for I knew that girl was gone. I had helped bury her. In all the world, at least in that moment, there was only Alexio and me.