The Tale of Nefret

by M. L. Bullock

  “Hafa-nu, mekhma! Hafa-nu, mekhma!”

  I raised both of my hands again as I had seen Farrah do many times. “Hafa-nu, Meshwesh. All will be well.” With tears in my eyes, I walked away.

  When I awoke and peeped out of my makeshift tent, the Twin Stars were high in the night sky. I took it as a sign—a sign that my sister still lived.

  My sister, my own heart. I pray for you this night.

  I whispered her name to the Shining Man and asked for his help. I heard nothing and could only hope that he had heard me. Surely he would help me, for I saw him in a dream. He stood atop a tall mountain and stretched his arms out to me, beckoning me to join him. Suddenly I was high above the mountain and could see the entire land. I opened my mouth to say some word, some magical word, but only a scream emerged. It was the scream of a falcon. With supernatural force, I fell from the sky toward the mountain. Surely the Shining Man would catch me! I would be safe! I screamed again, but again the only sound was the falcon’s cry. In a flash, the Shining Man disappeared and I stood alone atop the mountain. Startled, I awoke and reached beside me for Alexio, but he had already risen. He was probably preparing the animals for our journey.

  My hand flew to my necklace, as if it would protect me from my troubling dreams. There was no time to waste if we were to leave without notice or fanfare. I dug through my scant possessions and rolled up my green silk tunic with the golden embroidery, stuffing it in my bag. I did not want to appear before Pharaoh looking like a goatherd; even I knew the Egyptians had no love for farmers.

  I considered visiting my father before I left, but Orba had found the healing herbs that would allow Father to rest; when I last looked, he slept peacefully. He needed healing rest before the arduous journey, and my course lay before me. I knew what needed to be done. After yesterday’s speech, I trusted that the Shining Man would give me the words I needed for my audience with Pharaoh. The more I pondered it, the more I believed that. Somehow, I would convince Pharaoh to help us. I did not go to him as a pauper but as the Queen of the Meshwesh and a wealthy queen, despite our current situation. We still held the gold and turquoise mines, dozens of horses in Fayyum and stored wealth in many places along the edges of the desert. The only thing we lacked was a home. For far too long, the Meshwesh had been scattered across the Sahara. Since no one oasis could hold us all, the Old Ones, of which Farrah was the last, had agreed to forgo building homes or cities until we could all be together again at Zerzura. Now no one remembered the way.

  But there was hope in Egypt. Father told me something I had never known—Egypt knew the way to the White City!

  I did not see my uncle either. All that needed to be said to him had been said. I had no desire to visit him before my journey. I would have to trust Orba and the others to keep things in order during my absence. The people were behind me now—they trusted me to help them. I would not fail them.

  I heard a noise behind me and turned to greet Alexio. To my surprise it was not my husband who entered but Astora. She knelt down in our makeshift tent and smiled at me.

  “Is there something I can do for you, Astora?”

  She smiled wider, and it was an unsettling sight. Astora was not a tall woman, but she was pretty—pretty enough to attract the eye of Omel. However, she rarely smiled. She was not Alexio’s mother but had been the wife of some minor warrior who lost his life in a Cushite raid some years ago. She had a son, Suri, but I had not seen him since they returned. “No, but I think I can help you.” She spoke in an amusing whisper.

  “What do you mean? Is this about Omel?”

  She laughed and smoothed her gown over her knees. “Where is Alexio? Has he left your bed already? I had hoped to find him here.”

  I could not stand in my low tent, but I did rise up on my knees. “Get to it. What do you want?”

  “I am surprised to see you sharing a bed with a man who has shared his bed with your sister. However, I suppose it is a rare thing to sleep with two mekhmas in one lifetime.”

  “You lie!” I blurted out.

  “Do I?” Her smirk disappeared, and she said savagely, “You’re a fool! How do you think we can trust you to lead us if you make such foolish decisions? It is a serious question that many are asking. I only seek to warn you.”

  “I do not believe you.” My mind raced with the possibility. I knew there had been an attraction, at least on Pah’s part, but never had I entertained the idea that he might also care for her.

  “Why would I lie? Be careful. If you return from Egypt, you could find there is no place for you anymore. Perhaps the days of the mekhma have died, along with the Old One.”

  “Get out!” I yelled at her.

  With a small bow of her head, she disappeared from my tent. One of my guards poked his head in, but I waved him away. I felt my soul crumple under the insinuation. Surely she was wrong. She must be wrong! Images of Pah and Alexio writhing naked together appeared in my mind. Astora’s dagger had struck its target. I believed her.

  I knew. I guess I had always known.

  I grabbed my bag, bow and quiver and stalked through the forlorn camp to Ayn’s bed. I knelt down beside her, nudging her side.

  “Nefret? I mean, mekhma. What is it?”

  “I changed my mind. I want you to go with me.”

  “Whatever you say. Is Alexio coming too?”

  “No, he stays behind. I have another job for him.”

  She smiled at me and rose from her bed, stretching her back. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes. Thank you, mekhma.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I don’t know what is ahead of us. You may regret this.”

  Before the camp had settled down for sleep the night before, Ayn had come to me and asked to attend me on my journey to Egypt’s capital, Thebes. She had apologized again for allowing Paimu out of her sight and expressed her desire to serve me. I had refused to bring her only because I needed strong allies at camp, but now, things had changed.

  Everything had changed.

  I made my way through the camp as quietly as I could to find Alexio. With all my heart I wanted to scream at him, tear him down, berate him, but I could not do that without stirring up the troubled hearts of my tribesmen. He was where I expected to find him, with his beloved animals. His dark hair hung loose and fell to his shoulders. He tugged at the complicated leather strapping of the camel’s harness. Alexio had designed the harness himself, and many riders had been impressed with his ideas. He was a brilliant horseman and camel rider, quick with a blade and his wit. I had loved him since I was a girl, and so had Pah.

  “There has been a change of plans,” I said flatly. “Ayn is going with me.” I tucked my bag into the leather pocket and patted the camel’s side, trying to avoid eye contact with Alexio.

  “What?” He laughed incredulously. “I can’t let you leave alone. My place is by your side. You said so yourself.”

  “That was before.”

  Again he laughed. “Before what? Before you went to bed? I just left you, and I remember no change of plans.” He tried to take my hand, but I pushed him to the side.

  “I can’t help what you remember. The plans have changed.”

  He grabbed me gently by my shoulders and turned me around to face him. “What is this about? Have I done something?”

  “Take your hands off me,” I growled quietly. A nearby watchman stopped his patrol and stared at us. I wasn’t used to all this attention. I waved my hand at him, and he passed us by watchfully. I could see Ayn walking toward us in the darkness. I pointed her to the other camel and finally looked at Alexio. “Astora came to visit me.”

  With an empty sadness, I watched a range of emotions flit across his face. “Oh?”

  “Our lives hang in the balance, and you want to play the fool with me? Fine, have it your way. I know about you and Pah. You should have told me before we…you should have told me!” I saw Ayn pause, but she dared not look at us. I knew she heard us, but there was nothing to be done. Nothing was private any
more. I was foolish to think it would be.

  “We were never together! I swear to you, Nefret. I did kiss her, but nothing more. Astora has lied to you!”

  “You admit to kissing her, toying with her? Then you come to me? She is my sister!”

  “I swear to you, I love you, above anyone else. It has always been you. Astora is not innocent—it was she who pursued me, but I refused her. I did kiss Pah, but only that!”

  “Keep your voice down.”

  He took my hand. “Please, believe me. I am sorry that I did not tell you, but I swear to you I love you and you alone. You know that.”

  I pulled my hand away, climbed on the camel and turned my face away from him, staring into the dark. “I have made up my mind. I do not want you with me. Not now, not ever.”

  “Please, Nefret. You cannot mean that. What am I supposed to do? How can I prove my love?”

  I clucked at the camel for it to stand. “Keep your love!”

  “Please! Don’t do this.”

  I stared at him. “If you love me, find my sister. Bring her home.” I hardly believed the words I spoke. Again, I felt the presence of the Shining Man; he was somewhere near, but I could not see him. A shudder ran through me. What I was asking of Alexio could be his death sentence. Despite my anger and brokenness, I loved him still. But I would not let this go.

  That was not the task he had hoped for, but he did not shirk it.

  “If that is your command, mekhma.”

  “So it is.”

  Ayn and I rode east away from the camp and into the darkness. I did not look back for fear that I would change my mind.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The Queen of Egypt—Tiye

  It had been a long time since anyone had requested an audience with me except courtiers who were too old to properly bow to me. They came in with their platitudes, mediocre treasures and endless requests, and then out again they streamed. I held the title of chief wife to Pharaoh, but it was in name only now. All of my carefully cultivated influence had slipped carelessly out of my hands and into the lap of Pharaoh’s youngest wife and my nemesis, Tadukhipa. I cursed the day that the Mitanni woman entered our world with her strawberry lips and pale skin. Pharaoh needed to scatter his seed—I would have been a fool to imagine otherwise—but the girl forgot her place.

  Unlike Pharaoh’s previous wives, Tadukhipa had no intention of dwelling in the shadows behind my throne. She was a fool who cared for nothing except pleasure until she fell prey to the schemes of grasping sycophants who easily used her for their own devices. I tried to warn her, guide her, befriend her, but she had responded to my kindness with distrust. By then her ears were full of lies. Then again, she was a stupid girl.

  Absently I slid my small silver knife through a crisp pear. I liked the sound of it and the taste. I stared at the juice as it ran down my hand. When I finished slicing it, I tossed a piece into my mouth. A nervous servant waited nearby. Queens should not cut their own fruit, apparently, but I trusted no one in this court anymore, except Huya. How easy it would have been for an enemy to slide a poisoned knife through my green pears!

  I sighed as I reviewed all the honors Pharaoh and I had showered upon Tadukhipa. It was I who had sought to raise her status by nicknaming her “The Favorite” and “The Greatly Beloved.” My husband allowed me to do as I wished, but no doubt that had been shortsighted on my part. I chuckled as I ate another piece of pear. For her lack of appreciation and respect, I had taken my revenge. Her new nickname, “Kiya” or “the monkey,” was the moniker that had finally stuck. She had been furious when she first heard it. It was an obvious poke at her overly large ears and slightly bowed legs. But she did not dare retaliate. I feigned ignorance, but she knew that the insult had been my handiwork.

  Unwisely, I had allowed the Monkey to endear herself to my children. It wasn’t until she began openly questioning my orders concerning them, going behind my back with my servants, that I suspected her intentions to supplant me. How many times a day had I watched her walk to the Temple of Arinna, her foreign goddess, dressed as a petitioner? Undoubtedly she prayed for my speedy death so that she might rise to the position of Chief Wife, but every day I woke up and defied her and her incompetent deity. There was room for one only queen here and only one goddess worthy of worship! Had she forgotten that I was Isis incarnate?

  And now I was forced to watch her work her machinations on my son, the future King of Egypt! It was too much to bear. I would offer Isis a dozen fine oxen this very day if only she would destroy my enemy! I would cut their necks myself!

  Now an unknown queen sought audience with me. I was under no obligation to accept her or receive her, but out of curiosity and boredom, I sent my faithful uncle and confidant Huya to appraise the supplicant. I grew tired of watching Kiya parade about the palace as if I were no longer a queen to be feared. I grew bored of this court. I needed some distraction. Huya entered my chamber and pressed his fist against his heart.

  “Gracious One, the Meshwesh queen and her attendant wait for you in the Lower Garden.”

  I wiped my sticky hands and my tiny blade clean with a damp cloth. I slid it back into the folds of my belt and leaned back in the golden chair, propping my aching back against the green cushion. With a sigh, I changed my mind. “I have had enough of lowly queens today, Huya. Send her away.”

  “Very well, my Queen.” He bowed deeply, but I detected his slowness in leaving my presence.

  Sensing his resistance to my command, I asked impatiently, “What is it, Huya?”

  “If I may…”

  “We’re too old for formalities,” I snapped. “Speak your mind.”

  With a demure smile he said, “You should see this girl.”

  I raised a painted eyebrow and leaned forward, curious now. “You seem near to bursting to tell me something.” My mind raced with the possibilities. “Is she an Amazon? It has been many years since I have seen one. So strong—so tall!”

  How I would have loved to have been given such a strong, glorious body! The gods had a sense of humor. I—the Queen of Upper and Lower Egypt—was no taller than a child, with ugly flat feet, eyes that drooped and a belly that protruded from childbearing. Yes, the gods enjoyed their little jokes. I had no inclinations toward women, as some in the harem (including the Monkey) did, but I valued strength in women above all other things—even honesty.

  “No, my Queen. She is no Amazon but has a wild beauty that is rare outside of Thebes and your own radiance.”

  I snorted, rose from my chair and pulled a fallen linen strap over my bony shoulder. “Well then, let us go see this wild rare beauty. She is in the Lower Garden, you say?”

  “Yes, my Queen. Would you like me to bring her into your court?”

  “I shall go, but my knees are not as strong as they once were. I hope she is patient.”

  “You are as strong as ever, Glorious Queen.”

  I sighed. His lies did not move me as they once had, but I appreciated the effort. “I will steal a look at this flower of the desert. If I find her to be worthy of my attention, I will enter the garden. If not, then send her away.”

  With a nod and a mysterious smile he pulled back the curtain partition and allowed me to pass through. I shuffled through my painted apartments, ignoring the dozens of faces that offered me greetings or blessings. Fortunately most of the court had filtered into the younger queen’s adjoining apartments, no doubt to play games, tell love stories and coddle their children.

  After thirty years I barely noticed the white marble columns lining the courtyard that connected us all. I vaguely remembered being entranced by the crocodiles, storks and lotus blossoms on the tile floors beneath my feet. Grecian—no, Roman—tiles, if memory served. What a mess those artisans had made installing them! The smells of juniper incense, orange peels and perfume wafted through the courtyard. I had a sudden longing to see my husband.

  It had been too long since Amenhotep had visited his harem—or me. Now that the flux had stru
ck his bowels, he rarely left his palace. I prayed he would return to me soon and set things in order. Far too many liberties were being taken nowadays.

  A cool breeze fluttered through the golden curtains that led into the gardens. Beyond the gardens a blue lake sprawled across the horizon, a lake dedicated to me commanded into existence by my husband. I squinted up at Huya, who had emptied the Upper Garden. Apparently word had gotten out about my unexpected visitors. Life ran very still in Pharaoh’s harem; any distraction proved an amusement. Once the upper porch was empty, I stepped quietly to the top of the stairs and observed the women below.

  The first woman, a dark-haired spear of a girl, disappointed me. She was dressed in dirty brown clothing, and I could almost smell her unwashed skin and hair. I wrinkled my nose.

  And then the second girl appeared. Her glorious copper hair tumbled down her back in sparkling waves. Her skin was paler than any Egyptian’s, yet it had a lovely bronze glint to it. She was no Amazon, but the queen or whoever she was had a feminine figure with strong arms and dainty feet. She had no crown but wore an impressive gold and emerald necklace around her slender neck, and her arms shone with silver bracelets. Alas, a tribal queen but nothing more. I could tell at first glance.

  The world was filled with lovely faces. She even had good bones, but that hair… A definite sign from the gods! No wonder my household clamored for a peek at her. Red hair had long been a mark of divinity. Yes, a sign! Pausing behind a collection of potted palms, I strained to eavesdrop on their conversation. I felt no shame. This was how one learned things, by listening and watching.

  “Ayn, calm yourself! You are not helping,” the beautiful queen said.

  “I am sorry, but I have never seen such things! Even the walls crawl with creatures—and the colors! Have you ever seen such a blue in all your life? And the red! I wish… I wish…” The dirty girl choked up and wiped her eyes.

  “What is it?”

  “Paimu. She is never far from my thoughts. She would have loved to see all this.”