Waves of Solace

by Ariel Bonin

  "Linds?" he called softly as he gave her bare arm a gentle shake.

  The woman's eyes fluttered open and she drew in a deep breath. When her gaze focused on his handsome face, she smiled. "Good morning," she whispered, her voice thick.

  "Good morning, sleepy head. You plannin' on gettin' up today?"

  He brushed a golden lock away from her face as she wrinkled her brow. "What time is it?"

  "Late. Zoey is up, if that tells you anything."

  Lindsey's eyes widened slightly and then spotted the mug in his hands. "Is that for me?" He nodded and placed it in her grasp after she sat up against the pillows. Subtly, she sniffed the steaming liquid. "Tea?"

  Andrew chuckled but was baffled by her question. "Yes, tea, the thing you always drink."

  She offered him an embarrassed smile and took a sip, though, he could tell she wasn't especially enthusiastic about it. Never had he seen her turn down a cup of tea.

  When he saw a look of apprehension span her features, he asked, "Are you feeling all right?"

  "Yeah, I'm fine," she said, almost too quickly.

  He touched a hand to her forehead. "You're a little warm…"

  "It's because I was under the blankets, silly," she quipped, not easing his mind in the slightest, but he pushed those thoughts to the back burner when her eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh, my gosh, it's Christmas morning! I'm sorry…"

  Andrew laughed again. "It's okay, you were tired. Can't say I blame you," he said with a wink. I blame the pink lingerie.

  "Zoey must be chomping at the bit! I'm up, I'm up," she said, throwing back the covers to reveal her gray t-shirt and black shorts. She balanced her tea in one hand as Andrew took the other to help her out of bed.

  _____

  After Andrew's amazing breakfast of bacon and eggs, Lindsey settled into one of the wicker chairs with Jacob in her lap. Zoey sat on the floor by the coffee table and watched with bated breath as her dad opened the nearby box.

  First, Andrew handed the girl a striped t-shirt dress that he'd found in Target, followed by the black dress for Lindsey. They both gushed over their new clothing, proclaiming that they'd wear them to the celebration. Zoey wanted to take her turn next, so she handed a blue notebook to her dad, and an improvised bag to Lindsey, which she'd made from a piece of lined paper and tied with twine.

  Andrew opened the notebook as Zoey said, "It's the story I wrote in Lindsey's creative writing class."

  He gave his daughter a heartfelt smile, visibly warmed by the thought behind the gift. His eyes scanned the pages as Lindsey unwrapped her own. She revealed a smooth piece of green sea glass, about the size of her palm, and glanced at Zoey with bright eyes.

  "I found it on the beach the day my dad told me you were getting married. I thought you could keep it on your desk," she explained, casually shrugging as if it were no big deal.

  Lindsey knew it was more important than she was letting on, but didn't want to embarrass her. The woman offered a simple thank you and got up to give her a loving hug. Before Lindsey sat down again, she retrieved a plastic bag from the coffee table and handed it to the girl. With a giddy smile, Zoey opened the bag and pulled out a stack of paperback books.

  "Where'd you get these?" she exclaimed, bursting with excitement.

  "Last week I came across a shark's tooth on the beach. One of my students loved it so much, she offered to trade."

  "I've never read these ones!" Zoey jumped to her feet and threw her arms around the woman's shoulders where she sat. "Thanks, Lindsey!"

  Lindsey's cheeks flushed a bit as Zoey gave her a peck on the cheek, and she said, "You're welcome. Merry Christmas."

  Andrew, who observed all of this with a weightless gaze, moved to take Jacob and placed the infant atop his blanket on the floor. Once again, Andrew opened the box and took out a bag of wooden blocks. He deposited them before Jacob and built a quick tower, watching the boy's face as he tipped it over. Jacob's giggle was contagious and made him chuckle. After kissing the boy's silky hair, Andrew left him to his new toys and slid the box toward Zoey.

  "The rest is for you."

  Zoey peered inside and her mouth dropped open. "No way! Aw, man…"

  "Don't overdo it. Savor them," Andrew said when she grabbed two handfuls of chocolate bars.

  As Zoey tore into a Reese's, Andrew walked toward Lindsey and reached into his pocket. She held her breath in anticipation, wondering what he could possibly give her. He picked up her hand from where it rested on her thigh and pressed something into her upturned palm. Bringing it closer, she saw that it was a silver-chained necklace with a caged-pearl pendant.

  "The pearl was inside one of the oysters we opened on the boat. I got the chain on the mainland and put it all together," he explained, his glittering eyes taking in her agape expression.

  "Andrew, it's beautiful."

  Graciously, he extended his hand. She dropped it into his grasp and gathered her hair away from her neck. He slipped the chain into place and clasped it together. As her fingers lifted the pearl to admire it, he pressed a soft kiss behind her ear.

  "Thank you," she whispered when he circled back around. He gave her the simplest smile, but it still managed to make her heart race. "I have something for you, but I'd like to give it to you later."

  Andrew's brow twitched, no doubt questioning what her gift could be and why she couldn't give it to him now, but he swiftly recovered and gave her a nod. "Everyone's meeting at the pavilion for dinner at noon. I hate to ask, but do you mind starting on the food? I need to speak with the general for a few minutes."

  Lindsey smiled. "Not at all." After giving her a kiss, he was halfway out the door when she called out, "Andrew, look!"

  He turned around to see his son stand up on wobbly legs and take two steps toward the scattered blocks before falling on his rump.

  "Jake!" he cried. The boy's head swiveled, startled by his dad's sudden outburst. "That was amazing!" Andrew's grin could not be contained as he hoisted Jacob into a snug embrace and touched his lips to his forehead. Putting the infant down once more, he asked, "Can you do that again? Can you walk to Daddy?"

  Jacob stared at him with a toothy smile. Andrew tried lifting him to a standing position, but he immediately fell right back onto his behind.

  Lindsey gave Andrew an encouraging smile and rubbed his shoulders as they slumped in defeat. "Maybe he'll do it again later."

  "Yeah," Zoey chimed in, "you can do it again, right, Jake?"

  Remaining in his state of blissful ignorance, Jacob picked up two blocks, knocked them together, and then proceeded to gnaw on the one shaped like a triangle. All they could do was laugh and shake their heads.

  _____

  Andrew assumed he could find General David Kirkman holed up in his usual place—the radio building. After knocking twice, he found his assumption to be correct when he was met with a pair of steely blue eyes.

  "Captain Flynn, come on in," the man said, stepping back to allow Andrew inside.

  The small space housed various pieces of equipment, some he was familiar with, some not. Kirkman spent many hours by the radio, listening for distress calls or any chatter on the mainland. He was rarely seen around the island and pretty much kept to himself. A neatly made cot sat in one corner of the room, along with a camp stove and coffeemaker. Andrew saw another door at the back and presumed it to be the bathroom.

  Kirkman motioned to an empty chair by a short bookcase. "I think I know why you're here."

  "Really?" Andrew asked, settling into the simple coffee-colored chair.

  Kirkman nodded and took his own seat by the radio equipment. "Brian Tasker."

  The younger man felt somewhat uneasy as he contemplated what this discussion could be about. Clearing his throat, Andrew said, "Before he died, he told me I needed to talk to you."

  "Brian was a man of many trades. The residents of New Canaan looked at him like, an unofficial mayor. In the real hierarchy of things, I'm in charge, but I'm content with the job I have now
. Brian was a natural-born leader—and he saw that in you. Before he left, he told me that if he didn't make it back, he wanted you to take his place."

  Andrew rubbed his brow, at a loss for words.

  "I know it's a lot to take on. You've got a family to worry about, but he was positive that you're the man for the job."

  "Why didn't he pick someone who's been here a lot longer? I feel like I'm still learnin' how things work around here."

  Kirkman shrugged. "That may be true, but you're a smart man. It won't take you long to get up to speed."

  "I'm concerned that it might be too soon. We buried the man yesterday…"

  "I hear what you're saying, and I agree. We'll wait a week or so to make the announcement. I'll pick up the slack until then. For now, let's just keep this between us."

  "What about my wife, can I tell her?" Andrew asked.

  "I'll leave that up to your discretion," Kirkman responded, and then pushed up to stand. "I know it's Christmas, so go be with your family. We'll meet tomorrow and discuss this further."

  Andrew shook hands with the other man. "Thank you, General Kirkman."

  "Call me David," he corrected with a smile. "Merry Christmas, Andrew."

  "Merry Christmas."

  Andrew left with his head spinning. No matter how many times he tried to relinquish his leadership position, he was thrust right back into it. Was this what he really wanted? Did he even have a choice in the matter? He guessed no, therefore he would spend the next twenty-four hours getting into the right mindset to lead again. He just wondered how Lindsey would react to the news.

  _____

  Lindsey, Andrew and the kids arrived at the holiday celebration and exchanged warm greetings with their fellow group members. Caren complimented Lindsey on her new dress, while Lindsey complimented Caren on her petite baby bump. The brunette was about to pass into her second trimester, signaling an end to her morning sickness. Lindsey hadn't experienced any of that yet, but if this time was anything like the last, she'd only have to wait about one more week and it would rear its ugly head. She planned to enjoy the meal today as if it were her last, because it very well could be for the next few months.

  They were a little surprised to see Tommy at the gathering, but understood that Brian had orchestrated much of the planning for that special day and his son wanted to see it through. The teenage boy led a moment of silence before dinner, and then thanked everyone for their love and support. Zoey sat by him at the table, firing off jokes to keep a smile on her friend's face.

  After dinner and partway through the festivities, Lindsey wound up talking to Charlie, who was hauling Jacob around as if he were his own.

  "He may need your help…" Charlie said, tipping up his chin to indicate something happening behind her.

  "Who, Andy?" she asked, and looked over her shoulder.

  They watched as Elizabeth, Lindsey's teacher friend, patted Andrew's arm affectionately and laughed with too much enthusiasm at whatever he was saying. A few other women joined the conversation, all in their fifties or sixties, clearly enjoying Andrew's company. For a moment he glanced back at Lindsey, his gaze fraught.

  "Guess I should help him, huh?"

  "If ya want," Charlie replied, "but he didn't save your ass when ya got mobbed with all that wedding plannin' bullshit. Oops, sorry, Jake." He struggled to cover the little boy's ears.

  Lindsey sighed, the sound a surrendering. "True, but it's Christmas…and I suppose this is the best time to give him his gift." Her heart flipped in her chest and she tried to relax by taking deep breaths.

  "It involve anything pink?" he cracked with a perceptive grin. Lindsey shot him a shocked smile. "Besides your cheeks?"

  "Shut up, Knox," she said jokingly, and shook her head as she walked away to save Andrew.

  "'Kay, Flynn," she heard the man say at her back, amusement in his rough voice.

  Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach at Charlie's use of her last name, Lindsey stood next to Andrew and waited for a gap in the discussion. When they all took pause and stared at her expectantly, she said, "Pardon me, ladies. Could I borrow my husband for a few minutes?"

  Andrew excused himself and stood up. He linked his hand with hers as they left the dining area and started down the closest path.

  "Where are we goin'?" he asked, his voice cheerful—but suspicious.

  "To give you your Christmas present," she answered, and came to a stop under the shade of a flowering tree. Delicate pink blossoms hung down around the couple. Lindsey swallowed hard, fearing a nervous breakdown if she didn't quell her anxiety.

  Andrew laughed, oblivious to his wife's inner battle. "Thanks for saving me back there by the way."

  "Anytime...I mean, Elizabeth's sweet and all, but she can't give you what I can."

  "And what's that?" Andrew asked, a smile playing at his lips.

  With a pounding heart, Lindsey lifted his hand and placed it across her low belly. She watched his expression change in an instant and whispered, "A baby."

  Chapter 13

  The complete look of shock on Andrew's face was unlike anything Lindsey had ever seen. His crystal blue eyes did not blink as they searched her nervous gaze. He closed his parted lips and swallowed hard.

  "You're pregnant?" he asked, a tentative smile building as the news sunk in.

  Lindsey was having difficulty breathing, but she managed a soft, "Yes."

  The air rushed from Andrew's chest and his brow lifted. He threw his arms around the woman and drew her against him. Lindsey was so moved by his reaction that she felt tears prick behind her eyes. She clung to him as he kissed her with tender appreciation.

  "When…? How long have you known?" he blurted, suffering from a disoriented state of euphoria.

  "Since the day before yesterday."

  "The day I left?" She nodded sadly. "Oh Christ, honey, I'm sorry!"

  He hugged her once more, loving and comforting her in one blissful moment. When he pulled back, he dropped to one knee and placed his hands on either side of her waist. Leaning in, he pressed a single kiss onto her belly and then lifted his adoring gaze to hers.

  _____

  Lindsey's pregnant.

  The thought echoed in Andrew's head as he processed the sudden announcement. Talk about a Christmas present! This was the best one he'd ever received. No way would he have guessed that she was expecting. However, in hindsight, it made him understand her recent behavior. While a small part of him was still anxious about her health and well-being, he couldn't have been happier.

  I'm going to be a father again.

  With that reflection, he suddenly thought of Zoey. She had reacted well to Jacob, but he and Lindsey expecting a baby might not go over as well. Andrew remarrying was still fresh and he knew his daughter was continuing to adjust to all of the changes in their lives. A baby would only complicate that, but he sincerely hoped Zoey would come to accept it—it wasn't like she had much of a choice anyway.

  "Would it be all right if we kept this between us, just for now?" Andrew asked, hesitating. "I'd like to find the right moment to tell Zoey."

  "Absolutely. Besides, I don't want people to know yet…just in case."

  Her pitiful shrug tipped him off to the fact that she was worried about losing this baby, too. He hadn't thought about it until now and felt terrible that she'd have to suffer through that particular fear for many weeks to come. While this news was exciting for the both of them, it was clear to see that she was nervous.

  Andrew held her clammy hand in his own and placed the other on her cheek. After a brief but deep kiss, he looked directly into her eyes and said, "We'll be okay…this baby will be okay. You're going to be an amazing mother. You already are."

  Lindsey pressed her lips together as moisture seeped into her eyes. She gave him a watery grin and laughed. "We're having a baby," she said, almost as if it had just occurred to her and couldn't believe it.

  Andrew chuckled right along with her, embracing his wife and unborn chil
d once again. "We are."

  _____

  Even though Lindsey had been asleep for the past hour, Andrew remained awake. They'd made love, only to have her pass out immediately afterward. This baby was leaving her exhausted and, while he felt bad for her, he actually thought it was kind of cute.

  With the tired woman in his arms and her head tucked under his chin, he stroked her long hair and released a weighty sigh. He didn't have it in him to tell her about his new leadership position, at least, not yet. His plate had been full before, so to speak, but this was on a whole new level. To be responsible for an entire colony on an island was uncharted territory for him. Not only would he have to worry about his own family, but everyone else's as well.

  His other concern was whether the occupants of New Canaan would accept him as their new leader. With only one month together at this point, they'd hardly gotten to know each other. And while it wasn't spoken directly to him, he knew suspicions were being whispered about the fate of Brian and Wendy. He and Charlie had left with the beloved leader and admired resident, and returned with two body bags. What the hell would the people think with this coincidental announcement?

  He reminded himself that Brian and David trusted him with the position and he respected their opinions. He'd led people before and under much worse conditions. He could handle this, but the ultimate question was—could his family?

  _____

  A few days went by and Andrew spent many hours with the general, telling his wife and daughter that he needed to help the man with something. After coming back late one evening, Lindsey confronted him in the kitchen.

  "Andrew, what's going on?" she asked, leaning against the doorframe. "You've been gone every day since Christmas, and I talked to Charlie this morning—he said you haven't been around to help on the boat. What would the general need just you for?"

  As he reheated his soup on the stove-top, he considered his options. He knew she needed to hear the truth—it was time. After stirring the contents of the pot once more, he turned around to face her.