The Wolf's Lover

by Samantha MacLeod

  “A what?”

  “A sorcerer. Sorceress. A witch.”

  I almost laughed, but there was no humor in his eyes or the hard lines of his face. “No. Vali, no.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You’re not the first to seek me out, in dreams.”

  That stung. My back stiffened.

  “I’m not a witch,” I said.

  “Then how did you do it? How did you break the prison?”

  Frustration burned deep in my chest. It felt dangerously close to anger. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, Vali. I shot a wolf.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow. “You...shot me?”

  “Look. I’m a scientist. I study wolves. And, yes, sometimes I shoot them. With a tiny little dart. It puts them to sleep for about thirty minutes, then they wake up, and they’re just fine.” I realized my hands were trembling and crossed my arms over my chest, imitating his posture.

  “No one has ever broken the prison,” Vali said, his voice so low he might as well have been talking to himself. “It has held for centuries.”

  “What prison?”

  The hint of a smile played across his full lips. “My prison. I’ve done terrible things, Karen McDonald. The wolf’s body is my cage.”

  I shivered. “Where are you now? I mean, when you’re not dreaming?”

  “Back in my cage. Where I belong. I’m only free in my dreams. It’s what keeps me from losing myself completely, although I often wonder whether that’s mercy or just another form of torture.”

  He turned away, staring into the trees. “If I had any magic at all, if I could give any credit to my family’s name, perhaps things would be different.”

  His voice died, and my heart ached. He looked so desperately unhappy. I walked to him without thinking, wrapping my arms around his waist. His body stiffened in my arms.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said. His voice carried no emotion; it was a statement of fact. “Beautiful Karen.”

  I whimpered, then brought my hand to my mouth.

  “You are hurt?” Vali asked.

  I shook my head. Vali tilted his head to one side, examining my body. I looked down and realized I was again wearing what I’d worn to bed that night: long underwear pants, a polypro shirt, and wool socks. Not exactly sexy.

  “You’re crying,” Vali said. He brought his hand to my face, gently brushing my cheek.

  “I—It’s just—It’s been a while since anyone called me beautiful.”

  Vali smiled, but his eyes were dark. For some reason I didn’t want to hear what he was about to say, so I stood on my toes, pressing my lips to his.

  Vali kissed me, softly, then pulled away. “Beautiful Karen. We can’t.”

  He took a step back, and my heart burned with frustration and adrenaline. “But we’re dreaming!” I yelled. “Look around us! These flowers don’t even bloom at the same time. Columbines are late summer, and that pasqueflower is early spring...”

  My voice trailed off as he took another step away from me, toward the edge of the trees. He’s leaving, I realized. I am babbling about wildflowers, and he’s leaving.

  Vali shook his head, and his long curls swirled around his shoulders. “I’m sorry. Karen, I’m not safe. And I won’t put you in danger.”

  He turned. His body vanished soundlessly into the aspen trees. I called his name and heard nothing, not even an echo.

  I woke up in my tent, blinking in the darkness, with silent tears streaming down my cheeks.

  “Fuck,” I hissed, pressing my palms against the heat of my cheeks. “I can’t even meet a guy in my dreams.”

  My fingers trembled as I unzipped the tent door for the thousandth time that night. But this time, I finally saw faint traces of pink in the velvet sky above the trees. Thank God. Sleep had been impossible since Vali ran out of my dreams, and I’d spent the rest of the miserable night alternating between staring at the roof of my tent and wishing I could still believe Vali was just the product of my overactive imagination and long-neglected libido, and trying not to sob so loudly I woke up Colin and Zeke.

  I clambered out of the tent, stretched, and walked to Colin’s and Zeke’s tents to shake them. Colin muttered a sleepy, “Right away,” before climbing out to start boiling water for his coffee. Zeke ignored me until Colin threatened to unzip his door and dump a water bottle into his sleeping bag.

  “God, where do you find these barbarians?” Zeke asked, scowling at Colin as he crawled out of his tent.

  “Get your breakfast quick, boys,” I said. “The pack is headed toward the hoodoos, and we’re following them. We can be set up by ten, and have the entire afternoon to search for fur and stool samples. Maybe we can even find some wolves before we have to leave tomorrow.”

  “And they say science isn’t glamorous,” Zeke said, rubbing his face.

  BY THE TIME I REMEMBERED to check my phone for a message from Susan, we were in the hoodoos, an especially bizarre part of the park. All of Yellowstone is weird in its own way, but his part of Yellowstone is especially strange. The landscape is dotted with cylindrical, dark volcanic spires several stories tall, rising from the sagebrush and lodgepole pines like ancient stone sentinels. It was just past nine in the morning; we’d moved quickly. Zeke and Colin hiked fast. I didn’t want to show weakness in front of two people who were technically my employees, so matched their pace, even if it left me panting and exhausted. At least I was too distracted by my aching legs and burning lungs to dwell on my dreams.

  I leaned against one of the crumbling dark hoodoos and gasped. “Hang on. I’ve gotta check my phone.”

  “Sure thing, Boss Lady,” Zeke said. He didn’t even sound winded. Show off.

  “You guys can set up the satellite,” I panted as I slipped my phone from its waterproof bag in my pocket. There was one new text from Susan.

  No luck, it read. Not in trail records & nothing from police. No Vali, Valley, Val, Vince - nada.

  Thanks anyway, I texted back. I went to return the phone to its case when it dinged again.

  Sure thing, Susan wrote. You will tell me what this is about??

  Of course, I wrote back. I’d have plenty of time to come up with a plausible story before I saw her again. My phone dinged again, and I glanced down.

  The goods are odd, Susan wrote.

  I laughed, then covered my mouth, hoping the boys hadn’t heard. There was just no diplomatic way to explain that joke to Zeke and Colin.

  About a week after Susan moved in with me, we walked together to Main Street to get burgers and a pitcher of beer. Susan was holding up pretty well, given she’d just broken up with her boyfriend and moved in with a total stranger, and I was feeling good, too. After all, I’d survived a divorce, got hired as an Assistant Professor, and even made a friend in Bozeman. We raised our pints to each other, sitting in a sidewalk cafe in the long evening sunset, and I told Susan hey, who know? Maybe I’d meet Mr. Right here in Bozeman. After all, weren’t there four men for every one women in Montana?

  Susan laughed and laughed at that. “You know what they say in Alaska?” She finally asked, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Well, it’s true in Montana, too. The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

  After a few horribly awkward first dates with Montana men, I decided Susan was right.

  Yes, I texted back. Goods = odd.

  “You ready, Boss Lady?” Zeke called.

  “Coming,” I said, turning off my phone and putting it back in the waterproof case.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Once I left the boys and began canvassing on my own, the hoodoos started to bother me, as if the surreal landscape was tugging at my subconscious. For some reason, I kept thinking about Diana. The park’s a thin place, she said. That’s how it felt right now, as I slipped between stone pillars of ancient ash, looking for the quick, dark bodies of the wolves and trying not to think about what happened yesterday. Everything felt a little thin.

  “Karen,” Colin’s cal
m, measured voice crackled over the walkie-talkie. “We’re in luck. I can see the Leopold pack.”

  “On my way,” I said, turning north-northwest, toward Colin.

  “I’ve got a clear shot on one of the pups,” he said.

  “Take it,” I told him.

  There was a pause. I held still, listening. A distant yip echoed through the valley. I jogged up a small rise and spotted Colin hunched over next to a twenty-foot tall hoodoo spire. Then I saw the wolf he was watching.

  He’d shot an adolescent, one of last year’s pups from the alpha pair. The dappled gray female. The young wolf was sprinting across the sagebrush, but her steps were starting to waver. As I watched she slowed, swayed on her feet, and then fell.

  “You got it, Colin!” I called.

  I jogged over to him, pressing the button on my walkie-talkie. “Wolf down,” I said. “Zeke, get over here ASAP.”

  “Roger that,” said Zeke.

  “Please stay a wolf,” I whispered as I jogged through the sagebrush. “Please. Please. Please.”

  The young, female wolf lay on her side in the sagebrush with her eyes rolled back in her head. Her breathing was deep and relaxed. She was beautiful, with a dappled gray coat and white paws. The red of a tranquilizer dart stuck from her right haunch.

  “Thank God,” I whispered under my breath.

  Colin sighed behind me and I turned, watching relief play over his usually reserved features.

  “Right,” I said, pulling off my backpack. “Everything like it’s supposed to be. Now. To work.”

  Zeke joined us a few minutes later and bent over the wolf’s body with his equipment without saying a word. I took blood samples and affixed her radio collar while Colin and Zeke measured the young female’s paws, her incisors, and her weight. She looked strong and healthy. She’d made it through the most dangerous part of puppyhood, this little one. With any luck, she might have pups of her own next spring.

  “That’s thirty minutes,” I said, tearing my eyes away from the wolf to double check my watch. “Colin, you got a fur sample?”

  Colin nodded at me, grinning.

  “Zeke, did you finish with her paws?”

  Zeke gave me a thumbs up.

  “Let’s call it, then.” I ran my hand gently over the wolf’s side. Her fur was soft and warm under my hand. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “That was nice work,” I said, once we’d gotten several hundred yards from the wolf. “Let’s split up again. Maybe we can get one more before it gets dark.”

  Zeke and Colin both grinned as the headed off in opposite directions. They always seemed excited about field work, but this was different. This was relief. Relief to be doing something normal, I guessed.

  We canvassed the hoodoos for another two hours, collecting fur and stool samples. I’d stopped to rest on a fallen tree and eat some M&Ms when my walkie-talkie crackled to life again.

  “Karen, Zeke, you’ll want to see this.” Colin sounded serious, almost grim. “Get to high ground. Look east, north-east.”

  I climbed a small rise and brought my binoculars to my eyes. The bottom dropped out of my stomach.

  It was Vali.

  Vali and the Leopold pack alpha, 457M, faced each other in the dusty shadow of a truly massive volcanic spire. The two wolves circled each other, the hair on their haunches sticking out in all directions. Both had their tails up and straight out, demonstrating extreme aggression.

  Fuck! 457M was a young alpha, and he was an asshole. Last year Diana and several of the wolf-watchers watched him kill 322M, a male who challenged him for pack leadership. 322M was the first wolf I’d ever tranquilized. I attached his radio collar. And 457M killed him. I bit the inside of my lip as my stomach churned, something bitter rising in the back of my throat. It was my job to observe, not to interfere.

  But it’s my job to observe wolves, I thought. And that’s not a wolf.

  That’s Vali.

  I dropped my pack and ran toward the wolves. When I was close enough to hear them growling, I stopped and raised my tranquilizer gun. Vali and 457M were baring their teeth now, snarling and growling as they spun around one another. The rest of the pack had gathered under the lodgepole pines in the distance, watching. If Vali won this challenge, they might accept him as their new alpha.

  Or they might all try to kill him.

  “Fuck,” I whispered as I watched the wolves through the sight on my tranquilizer gun. It was useless. I was too far to get a clear shot, and they were moving too quickly.

  Give it up, Vali, I thought, desperately.

  457M made the first move, lunging for Vali’s haunches. Vali leapt sideways, gracefully avoiding 457M’s jaws. Then he spun so quickly he was just a blur of sleek, black fur, and he caught 457M’s shoulder in his jaws. 457M pulled away with a yip. Vali’s mouth bristled with 457M’s pale gray hair.

  457M spun back, growling fiercely. He was smaller than Vali, but his ears pricked forward, and his teeth were bared. He showed no signs of submission. He lunged for Vali again, and this time I heard his teeth clack together as Vali again leapt out of reach. Vali’s growl grew louder.

  Vali reared back and lunged for 457M. There was another yip as his body collided with 457M, but 457M was small and fast, and he backed away before Vali could pin him. I saw blood on 457M’s shoulder, and blood on Vali’s muzzle.

  I raised the tranquilizer gun again. If 457M lunged again, I’d have a clear shot. My finger trembled. What if I accidentally hit Vali? What if he became human again? Wolves usually fear humans, but what about a naked, tranquilized human in front of an entire hungry, aggressive pack? The two wolves began circling again, growling and snarling, bared teeth flashing in the late afternoon light.

  Vali raised his snout in my direction and hesitated.

  Me, I realized with a sick ripple of fear. He was smelling me.

  457M lunged forward, catching Vali’s neck in his jaws. Vali screamed as 457M pinned him to the ground.

  “No!” I bellowed, running towards the two wolves.

  I lowered my tranquilizer gun and pulled the trigger. The shot went wide, missing both wolves. Vali screamed again as 457M’s jaws closed around his throat.

  I reached in my pocket and grabbed my cell phone in its waterproof case. I threw it as hard as I could. It hit 457M in the abdomen. He yowled in pain and shock, raised his head, and growled at me, a threat deep and low in his throat.

  Vali shot up, standing between me and 457M.

  There was a flurry of movement in the lodgepole pines. The rest of the Leopold pack scattered, running from the screaming human who just interrupted a battle for dominance of their pack. But 457M did not run. He stood and glared at me, his pale eyes full of rage.

  Vali growled, baring his teeth. I crouched low and grabbed the first rock I could find, throwing it at 457M. It glanced off his shoulder. He yipped, his eyes now confused.

  “Get out of here!” I screamed, waving my arms wildly. “Get the fuck out of here!”

  From somewhere in the distance, the rest of the Leopold pack began to howl, calling for their absent alpha. 457M’s ears pricked as he heard their voices. He looked again at me, then at Vali, before turning and sprinting away, his tail level. Not submission, that tail said. Not surrender.

  “Oh, thank God,” I panted. My body started to tremble, and for a moment I worried my legs were about to pitch me face first into the dirt.

  Vali turned his enormous black head toward me. His lips curled back, showing his white teeth. They were streaked with blood. I stepped backward, and Vali followed me. His growl built, coming from deep in his chest. I held my hands up with my palms out.

  “It’s me,” I said, staring into his golden eyes.

  I did not see recognition.

  I’ve lost my mind, I thought. I’ve lost my mind, and this is how I die. I stepped backward, stumbled against something hard, and fell on my ass. Vali was so close I could smell him; he still smelled like the man in my dreams, wild with a subtle,
irresistible sweetness. He was so close his growl felt like low thunder in my bones.

  “It’s me,” I said again, my voice jagged. “Vali, it’s me.”

  He stepped over my body, his giant paws resting on either side of me, his hot breath smelling of blood. He breathed deeply, running his snout along my body. His fur prickled against the soft skin of my neck.

  Then he leapt over me and was gone.

  Something was hissing and buzzing. No, it was forming words. It was—

  “Karen! Karen! Come in!”

  It was Colin, over the walkie-talkie. I pressed the button and brought the walkie-talkie to my lips. No sound came out. I coughed and tried again.

  “This is Karen,” I stammered.

  Someone yelled behind me, and I turned to see Zeke running across the meadow. I tried to stand, winced, and waited for him to join me. He whistled once, long and slow, as he came to his knees in front of me.

  “Colin told me a black wolf turned into a ripped, naked guy yesterday,” Zeke said. “That was him, wasn’t it? That was the wolf who turns into a dude?”

  I opened my mouth, blinked, and closed it again. Then I nodded.

  “Damn, Boss Lady! He must have one fuckin’ nice ass! I mean, 457M could’ve gutted you like a fish. He could’ve torn your throat out just like walkin’ in the park. Hell, he could’ve decapitated you in—”

  “Thank you, Zeke,” I said. “That’s enough.”

  Colin jogged up to us, panting. “You okay?” he asked, his cheeks flush against his pale face.

  I nodded again, hoping they wouldn’t notice how violently my arms and legs were shaking. “Thank you. Yeah, I’m okay.”

  Zeke whistled again. “That’s gotta be the single motherfucking dumbest thing I have ever—”

  “Zeke, that’s enough!” I shouted. Then I grinned at their shocked expressions. “And don’t you ever do anything that stupid!”

  Colin started to laugh. Zeke joined him, and then we were all laughing, laughing so hard we doubled over in the late afternoon sun, in the spot where I had almost died.

  “Oh, Boss Lady,” Zeke said in his thick Southern drawl. “I will never do anything that epically D-U-M-B, I promise you.”