The Darkness Within Him: The Untwisted series

by Alice Raine

  ‘No, I’m not leaving.’ I raised a hand to stroke along the stubble now darkening his cheek. ‘There’s no denying I was scared for a little bit,’ I admitted softly. ‘You were … so forceful, almost aggressive at times …’ I said weakly, shuddering as I remembered how he had reacted when I’d been sarcastic to him. Ugh, the gag.

  Before I could continue, Nicholas sat himself up against the headboard, and then I found myself being dragged into his arms and cradled against his chest as if merely holding me in bed hadn’t been enough for him. He proceeded to bury his face in my hair and kiss my scalp over and over again, and for a second I thought he might actually cry.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Becky … I told you you wouldn’t like me like that … I tried to warn you …’

  ‘Is that as bad as it gets?’ I asked softly, and under my touch, I felt his entire body tighten.

  He gave a harsh, dry laugh. ‘No.’ His voice was no more than a whisper. ‘That barely touches the surface of how I used to be …’ He grimaced. ‘I would be far stricter and the punishments were much more severe. But I didn’t want to do that to you …’ Well, that was good to hear at least. ‘If you’d been my submissive you would have worn the ball-gag for the whole session after being sarcastic to me, but I could see your fear of it so I removed it. You might not make a champion submissive, but you were so close, baby,’ he joked softly as he pulled me even closer against his chest, allowing me the space to wrap my arms around him.

  ‘Yeah, I don’t think I’m really cut out to be a full sub, and wearing the gag isn’t something I’m keen to repeat …’ I observed, trying to sound light and unruffled. ‘Did you use them often?’

  ‘I really don’t want to talk about it, Becky – I’m trying so hard to put that behind me … Things with you are so different. Normally I enjoy all that stuff … but tonight it was harder, so much more difficult …’ He swallowed loudly and I heard it rumble through his chest.

  ‘That’s why I said no eye contact,’ he admitted softly. ‘If you didn’t look at me I could pretend it wasn’t you I was doing those things to.’

  ‘That makes sense. I had wondered why you’d said that.’ Lifting my head, I looked into his eyes now, feeling guilty for making him do something that he had clearly been so uncomfortable doing. ‘I’m sorry if I forced you into that … I didn’t realise it would be so hard for you.’

  ‘Becky, these past few weeks … what we’ve had together –’ He shook his head, clearly bewildered. ‘I wouldn’t be lying if I said I’ve never felt a connection like this with anyone before. The idea of yelling at you, punishing you … it just feels wrong now,’ he murmured, stroking my cheek gently.

  As he ran his hand across my face, I noticed the rough scar on his left wrist again and forgot about our discussion for a moment. ‘How did you get this?’ I asked, smoothing my fingers lightly across the bumpy skin.

  A deep frown marred his forehead. ‘Childhood accident,’ he said, clearly not wanting to discuss it further. ‘I don’t want to take you in the spare room again,’ he stated suddenly, returning to our previous conversation.

  ‘Did you enjoy any of it?’ I asked tentatively, guilt eating at my insides until I finally felt him relax beneath me.

  ‘Well, making you come is always a delight, Becky, regardless of the situation,’ he murmured, and I could hear the smile in his tone. ‘Plus I enjoy using toys for added interest sometimes.’

  ‘Yes, the flogger was quite fun,’ I said shyly, surprised by my own admission. ‘When you used it for pleasure,’ I added. My arse wasn’t looking for a repeat performance any time soon; that was for sure. In fact, it still felt like it was glowing from his earlier treatment even after all the time that had now passed.

  ‘So are you satisfied now you’ve seen my darker side?’ he asked, a strange tone to his voice.

  Not entirely, I wanted to tell him. I still wanted to know the story behind his dominant side; I was sure there was some deep-rooted reason that made him act that way, but now I had experienced it, I at least felt I could wait until he was comfortable enough to tell me the rest himself. ‘Yes. Thank you for sharing with me. I feel I know you better now, Nicholas.’

  Snuggling closer to his warmth, a thought occurred to me. ‘I’m curious. Why did you bring me back in here when there is a bed in the other room?’

  I saw his eyes darken again. ‘Because I associate that room with submissives, and you, Rebecca, are not my submissive,’ he said with a wry tweak of his eyebrows.

  ‘What am I, then?’ I asked automatically, the words out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I felt his body tense below me.

  Damn my stupid runaway mouth, I thought, aware of how rigid he’d gone beneath me. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask that … It’s OK, I like what we have going … no pressure,’ I babbled, rubbing Nicholas’ chest and trying to soothe him again.

  ‘I told you earlier I want to see you more often, Rebecca. Now I’ve shared myself with you, will you stop questioning me and let me try this relationship thing properly?’ he asked in exasperation, his tone serious and quiet against my ear.

  Surprised, I sat up and looked him in the eyes. ‘Is that what you want, a relationship?’ I said tentatively, excitement building in my stomach. When Nicholas had suggested seeing more of me, I had assumed he just wanted more sex … but an actual relationship, that was exactly what I craved, but more than I ever thought him capable of.

  ‘Yes, if you still do after what you’ve just been through?’ He sounded so unsure that, in response, I leant up and kissed him lingeringly on the lips.

  Even after the highly unusual introduction to Nicholas’ lifestyle, there wasn’t any reason for me to hesitate. ‘Very much so,’ I murmured against his mouth.

  Like a button had been pressed, I felt the tension leave Nicholas’ frame on a breath that rushed over my lips. ‘I’m warning you now, you will need to be patient; I’ve not done this type of thing before. I’m pretty sure I’m going to screw up and need you to set me back on track,’ he said as he skilfully returned my kiss for several more seconds until I felt his groin stirring below my thigh. God, he was insatiable.

  Groaning, he pulled away with a shy smile that I hadn’t seen before but liked immensely. ‘It’s nearly sunrise and after recent events I think I need to detach you from my lips and let you sleep, otherwise we will both be exhausted later.’

  Gently helping me shift off his lap and onto my side, Nicholas snuggled up behind me – distracting erection and all. I felt ridiculously contented for a girl who had just been subjected to her first BDSM sex session. Within a few minutes, I was fast asleep in his arms for the first time.

  Chapter Nine

  Pushing my office chair back so hard that it spun into the wall on its rickety castors, I let out a small yelp of frustration and balled my fists tightly on my thighs. This break-up with Nicholas was getting ridiculous, life consuming almost. I might own the bookshop I sat in, but for me to hide away moping in my office while I thought of nothing but him was just so unprofessional. Not to mention pathetic.

  Deciding to be more productive, I vented some anger by ripping open a box containing a new order of books. Usually, this was a task that would keep me thoroughly focused as I scanned each title excitedly and spent a good few hours reading the blurbs, but today I merely unpacked and piled the books to my left, my thoughts still lingering on what could have caused Nicholas to flip so monumentally that fateful, final day.

  The act of tearing apart the box was cathartic, cleansing almost, and seeing as there were several more still to open, I set about the mindless task. Soon, my office was full of chunks of cardboard and polystyrene pieces and I found I’d worked up a slight sweat from the exertion.

  There had to have been some reason Nicholas had acted like that with the cane that night: something that could explain his completely irrational behaviour? Even with all the kinky stuff we’d done together he’d never hurt me before and I’d been convinced he cared for m
e … There simply had to be an explanation, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t think of one, and Nicholas certainly hadn’t attempted to contact me to provide one.

  Dumping a pile of books onto my desk, I chewed on my lip guiltily. Thinking back, I probably needed to shoulder some of the blame for his outburst that day; I’d deliberately provoked his anger in a way I knew would wind him up. But he’d left me no choice. What else was I supposed to do when he had called me up out of the blue and finished with me for no reason after an amazing morning in bed together?

  God, what a ridiculous mess it all was. I kicked my office door fully closed and allowed my eyes to flutter shut. I recalled the awful day that had seen not only him finishing with me, but also, in a bizarre twist of fate, me walking out on him. I sighed heavily. It had started as such a great day too.

  Grinning broadly, I sat up and allowed Nicholas to put the breakfast tray on my lap. Fresh orange juice, toast, jam, and coffee. Perfect.

  Well, well, would wonders never cease? First of all, his declaration last week that he wanted to try a relationship with me; then I’d experienced seven days of Nicholas on his very best behaviour. I’d seen him almost every night and stayed over at his home, at his insistence. He’d driven me to and from work and he’d even bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers, which still looked glorious on the kitchen windowsill.

  What on earth had happened to “I don’t know how to do relationships” Nicholas, because as far as I was concerned he was doing a pretty great job so far.

  Plus the sex was still utterly mind-blowing, which helped.

  Grabbing a slice of toast, I chomped greedily on it as Nicholas slid back into bed, helping himself to some too and grinning at my impatience. ‘Hungry this morning?’ he inquired with a knowing smile.

  ‘Yes,’ I mumbled around another crumbly bite. ‘Dating you is certainly good for my waistline. I think I burn more calories in bed with you in half an hour than I would on a treadmill in a week.’ I laughed, spraying crumbs on my lap in a very unattractive manner.

  ‘We are getting rather good at it, aren’t we?’ He smiled, looking contented and rather pleased with himself. ‘Although we have been practising a lot,’ he added smugly. Wasn’t that the truth! I was actually quite sore by now, but every time Nicholas initiated something, I couldn’t seem to say no.

  He turned to me with a gleam in his eye. ‘I bet you the last slice of toast that I now know your body better than you do,’ he challenged me with a sly grin.

  Copying his smile, I raised my eyebrows. ‘And how would we test that theory, Mr Jackson?’ I asked tentatively, wondering where on earth he was going with this.

  ‘We see who can make you come the quickest, you or me.’

  Wow, I had not expected that! ‘Really? You’re rather confident, seeing as I’ve had 25 years with this body and quite a bit of practice doing what you’re suggesting.’

  I blushed at the mention of masturbation; well, it wasn’t something you discussed often, was it? However, given my unlucky choices in men up until Nicholas, it was something I’d done a fair amount of since becoming sexually active, because it seemed I could get myself off far better than either of my previous boyfriends could. If I hadn’t met Nicholas, I’d have gone through life thinking sex was all about clammy hands and unsatisfying, fumbled rubbings.

  ‘I still bet I’ll win,’ he boasted with a shrug and an arrogant smile that made me want to take him up on his bet and prove him wrong.

  As I narrowed my eyes at him, considering his proposal, an idea popped into my head. ‘OK, deal, but only if we try the same thing on you too.’

  Now he was grinning like a kid at Christmas. ‘You think you can make me come quicker than my own right hand?’ Nicholas chuckled, wiggling the fingers comically. ‘You know I’m a kinky bugger with plenty of practice in this area, right?’

  ‘Yep.’ I shrugged. ‘But I still think I can do it,’ I replied with a sweet smile up at him.

  ‘OK, deal.’ Nicholas moved the tray off the bed and picked his watch up from the nightstand. ‘You go first,’ he instructed, with a dark smile.

  I scowled, mock disapproval on my face, and made a little tutting sound with my tongue. ‘No, that wouldn’t be fair. If you watch me, it might get you excited and give you an unfair advantage when it’s your turn. I think we should go at the same time.’ Not only was this a more logical solution, it would be less embarrassing if Nicholas was doing it at the same time as me.

  Laughing, he nodded. ‘Fair enough.’ He swapped his watch for his phone and set it up on the bed with the stopwatch timer ready, then settled himself back on the pillows next to me.

  ‘Why, Rebecca, I do believe you’re blushing,’ he teased, looking young and excitable. God, he was sexy when he was like this. Actually, he was sexy all the time. I was such a lost cause I almost rolled my eyes at myself.

  ‘Yes, well, this isn’t something I would normally do in public,’ I muttered, starting to regret accepting his challenge as the reality of what I had to do in front of him sank in.

  ‘I would hope not.’ Nicholas admonished me with a small frown, causing me to raise my eyebrows at him.

  ‘Calm down, Nicholas – believe me, you will be the first person to ever watch me doing this,’ I mumbled, suddenly feeling decidedly flustered.

  ‘And the last,’ he warned darkly. Gosh, he really was so possessive. This time I really did roll my eyes and he finally smiled.

  ‘Are you ready?’ Lifting his hips, he pulled down his pyjama bottoms, letting his already erect manhood spring free.

  ‘Clearly you are,’ I murmured dryly, eyeing his sizeable tackle with wide eyes.

  ‘As always, baby.’ He grinned. ‘OK, ready? Go!’ He took hold of himself and slowly moved his hand up and down his length. Nervously, I slipped my hand under the sheet and ran it across my already damp sex.

  Jeez, just talking sex with Nicholas got me wet. Although I have to say, the sight of him running his fist up and down the silky skin of his erection was a mighty big turn-on for me too.

  ‘That’s cheating, Rebecca. Move the sheet; I want to watch,’ he instructed huskily. So, blushing further, I pushed the sheet down and exposed my nakedness. Lifting my right hand to my mouth, I moistened two fingers by sucking on them and then dipped them back between my legs. Well, if I was going to do this I might as well do it properly. The effect of my actions wasn’t lost on Nicholas, who let out a hissed breath between his teeth as he increased the speed of his hand.

  ‘Christ, you have no idea how jealous I am of your fingers right now,’ he groaned, but I giggled, hugely embarrassed.

  Starting to relax into it, I moved my hand rhythmically across my throbbing flesh until I finally dipped two fingers right inside me and increased my pace. Moving my left hand down, I used it to help put pressure against my clitoris and, after a few minutes, I began to feel an orgasm building.

  ‘I’m close,’ Nicholas murmured. Gosh, that was quick, I thought, noticing how his eyes were firmly glued to the movements of my hands. Suddenly I saw his torso tense, his legs straighten out, and with a low groan, Nicholas came onto his stomach in soft, creamy spurts: a sight that turned me on more than I could ever believe.

  Holy shit, that was hot. Spurred on by the vision of Nicholas touching himself to a climax I followed suit seconds later, my muscles clenching around my own fingers as I brought myself to a quiet orgasm. I pushed my head back into the pillow as I finished with a soft groan.

  ‘What was the time?’ I asked between breaths, as I watched Nicholas cleaning his stomach with several tissues and then fiddling with his phone.

  ‘That would be telling. I’ve saved the times in my phone so we can check for a winner at the end.’ Resetting his phone, he turned to me with a dark smile. ‘Now for the really fun part. Do you need a break before I prove you wrong and make you climax in record time, Rebecca?’

  I definitely needed to recoup before experiencing Nicholas’ skilful sexing so I nodded. ‘Just le
t me go and grab a drink of water,’ I said, sliding off the bed and swaying my hips provocatively as I walked across the room naked, causing Nicholas to growl behind me.

  ‘If you wiggle that arse at me much more I’ll be following you into the kitchen, bending you over the nearest counter, and taking you,’ he warned huskily.

  ‘Mr Burrett might see; you wouldn’t dare,’ I said, glancing back at him as I reached the door.

  ‘Wouldn’t I?’ Nicholas said in a threatening tone as he slid nimbly from the bed and began stalking toward me, making me giggle and dash away before he could grab me.

  Donning a robe in case I met Mr Burrett around the house, I dashed downstairs for my drink, but found the bedroom empty on my return. Losing the robe, I slipped back into bed expectantly. I had a cunning plan up my sleeve that I was fairly sure would win me this bet and I was keen to test it out.

  Several seconds later, Nicholas strode into the room with his hands behind his back and a knowing smile on his face.

  ‘Ready for round two, Rebecca?’ he asked, a mischievous glint flickering in his eyes.

  ‘Yep. Bring it on.’ I grinned nervously.

  ‘Close your eyes,’ he instructed as he climbed onto the bed with his hands behind his back, and so with a confused expression I did. ‘No peeking, Rebecca, I just have a little surprise for you that might help me win our competition. This will be fun … intense, but fun,’ he added cryptically.

  I felt a nervous frisson run up my spine. Intense? What was he going to use on me? A vibrator again? I’d enjoyed it last time he’d used one of them on me but surely that would count as cheating in our current competition.

  Wasting no time, Nicholas moistened two fingers and moved them straight between my legs where he began expertly rubbing small circles around my already swollen clitoris. Well, this was a competition after all; no point taking it slow, I supposed. Trying to keep my eyes shut, I felt his breath on my chest: the first indication that he was about to suckle at one of my nipples, which he promptly did. After several seconds of his wet tongue working on my hardened tip, I felt a sharp tweak as he nipped at it with his teeth. Ahh, that was good …