Goodness and Mercy

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  “Then, one Sunday morning I was sitting in this church, and right before me—dancing beautifully for the Lord—there she was. I was so ministered to by her dance that ushered us all into a place of praise and worship. After a powerful sermon, I went forward and joined this church. I’d been searching for a church home—I knew I had finally arrived. Afterward, I went in search of her, this woman who had danced into my heart, determined I would find her. There were others who tried to tell me that they were the one I sought. But the shoe just didn’t fit any of them no matter how hard they tried to squeeze their foot into it, or slide their feet down to try to make it look as though it did.” He took Gabrielle’s hand.

  Gabrielle looked lovingly into his eyes as he continued to speak. “But as only God can do things, we found each other again. It didn’t matter the obstacles that came between us, I had found her. And she doesn’t know this, but I knew I’d found my good thing. Because the Bible says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. I believe I’ve found my wife. We’re nowhere near marriage yet, but I believe she’s my wife. I know I’ll have to court her so she’ll know we’re supposed to be together, and I don’t plan to quit until she sees that she’s my wife. No, I’m not a Prince Charming riding in on a white horse to take her away to live happily ever after. But I would like to give her the best of what I do have. I’d like to live as happily ever after as earthly and heavenly possible. I’d like the opportunity to love her the way Christ loves the church. So, what do you think?” Zachary said as he looked intensely at her.

  Gabrielle removed her hand from his. “I think it sounds like a classic Cinderella story, and I’m not sure that I believe in happily-ever-after endings either. But I do know that I care about you. And I would love for us to get to know each other better. It’s just that I want to be sure we do it God’s way. The sermon Pastor Landris preached today about people who talk about others and what they’ve done in the past, holding the sins of the past against one who is now serving the Lord. I have a confession to make. That message was partly prompted because of me.”

  “How so?”

  “When I tell you this, I want you to know that I don’t plan to hold you to anything you just said about me being your wife someday or you wanting to be with me.” Gabrielle took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I used to be an exotic dancer . . . for close to eight years. My stage name was Goodness and Mercy. My last name, Booker, I dropped it also because it sounded too close to hooker. This year on January fourth, I gave my life to Christ, and I walked away from that life. And as only God can do it, I was able to put my gift of dance in service for God’s Kingdom. Well, someone started the gossip throughout the congregation about my past life, my past job. And as you heard from Pastor Landris, that information was spreading like wildfire. Many people felt because of that, I shouldn’t be allowed to dance in the dance ministry anymore. Before Pastor Landris’s sermon today, there was the burning question: When people are forgiven of their past sins, are they truly forgiven, or should they still have to pay for those sins regardless ? Pastor Landris addressed and answered that question beautifully today.”

  “So you were an exotic dancer?” Zachary said, obviously stunned as he sat up straighter.

  “Yes.”

  “You mean a stripper? A real live stripper? With the pole and everything?”

  “No. I didn’t do the pole. Believe it or not, I actually approached my dancing, even there in that place, as though it was truly a craft. Funny me. The woman who taught me—”

  “Esther. My aunt. Queen told me about that. Of course, she didn’t originally tell me your name. Just that the housekeeper who had just asked to be reassigned knew our aunt. I still can’t believe it. Talk about six degrees of separation,” he said, referring to the philosophy many held that most of us are only six people away from anyone we ever want to meet.

  “Yes, your aunt Esther. She gave me so much. In fact, I dreamed of her earlier this year. And in my dream, she said there was more that God required of me. I went to church the Sunday after that dream, and I ended up giving my life to the Lord. And honestly, my life has not been the same since. I don’t see things the way I used to. The old me died and was buried. This is who I am now. This is who arose with Christ.”

  Zachary nodded. “I see.”

  Gabrielle then took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “There’s one other thing I feel I need to tell you.”

  He looked her straight in her eyes. “There’s more? All right. Go on.”

  She looked away as she gathered her courage. This was something she’d never spoken out loud before to anyone. She turned back toward him. “When I was eighteen, I had an affair with the father of a friend. He was thirty-three, self-assured, and quite the charmer. I had struggled most of my life to feel good about myself. My parents weren’t around—my father, incarcerated for killing my mother. I had lived with my aunt and uncle, which is another story in itself. Upon turning eighteen, they told me I had to leave, get out on my own. Following that was this man telling me how wonderful . . . how beautiful I was, giving me all of this love and attention. Silly me. It was all just a game.”

  Zachary nodded. “Okay. So you had an affair with a married man who happened to be your friend’s father. You were young. Look, I don’t think you should beat yourself up about something like that. We’ve all done something in our past that we regret. I know I have. That’s just the price of life.”

  She pressed her lips together tightly, nodded three times, then looked up before exhaling again as she looked back at him. “I got pregnant. No one knew about it except him. Needless to say, he didn’t want me to have it since the baby would definitely mess up his sweet little life with his wife and family and all. He gave me money and told me to get an abortion.” She continued to look at Zachary to gauge his reaction.

  He merely nodded. “So, did you?”

  “No. I went to a group home for unwed mothers and had the baby.” Gabrielle began to cry. “After I had her, a beautiful little girl, I kissed her, then signed papers to give her up for adoption. That was eight years ago. I was fine with my decision back then, but something has changed. I find myself wondering what she’s doing now, what does she look like, is she being treated right, is she all right? And I have to be honest: it hurts.”

  Zachary reached over and touched her hand.

  She got up and got a tissue, dabbing at her eyes as she sat back down.

  “Are you all right?” Zachary asked.

  “Yeah. Sure,” she said as she shook it off and sat up strong. “So, if you’ve decided that the shoe really doesn’t fit me either, then please don’t feel bad. I won’t feel like you’re judging me. But there is a difference in judging sin and judging the person. Judging sin is fine; judging people is not something any of us should or are equipped to do. Only God can judge people’s hearts. I realize that in being a doctor, you have an image you have to uphold. I just thought it only fair to lay everything out there before we proceed any further. I care too much about you to ever want to do anything to hurt you.”

  “Well!” Zachary said, slapping both his hands down loud and hard on his thighs simultaneously. “I suppose that’s all settled now and out of the way.”

  “I suppose so.” She held out her hand to shake his. “Still friends?”

  “Gabrielle, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I really don’t care to be friends with you.” He stood up.

  “Oh. Okay.” She withdrew her hand and stood up as well. “Well, thanks for the talk.” She reached down and picked up her slightly torn red Fendi purse, then started toward the front door alongside Zachary. Neither of them said a word as they walked.

  When she reached the door, he opened it for her. “Well, I suppose this is good-bye,” he said, matter-of-factly.

  “Yes. I suppose so. Good-bye.” She slightly dropped her head and turned to walk out of the opened door.

  “Oh, Gabrielle, one more thing before you go,” Zachary said.


  She turned around slowly and in a weak voice said, “Yes?”

  “What time would you like me to pick you up tonight?”

  “What?” Gabrielle said, clearly puzzled.

  “I have two tickets to the play tonight. You do know about the play tonight?”

  “You mean the Broadway play that’s been sold out for months now? The one everybody who can’t get a ticket to is begging, borrowing, and trying to steal their way to? We rarely ever get a real Broadway play to come here to Birmingham. You can’t possibly have tickets to that one!”

  “Yes,” he said, his chest stuck out, “I have tickets to that one.”

  “And you want me to go with you? Me?”

  Zachary looked into her eyes. “With all of my heart,” he said, his eyes seeming to dance with a slight twinkle. “I would be truly honored if you would go with me.” He smiled.

  “Even after all I just told you about myself ?”

  “Gabrielle, the Bible tells us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Not y’all have sinned—all. That means all of us have something in our lives we wish we either hadn’t done or could take back completely. All of us.”

  Zachary’s mind quickly reflected back to his own past missteps. One in particular he hoped to someday soon tell her about. And in spite of her being so open and candid with him, now was not that time. Unlike her, he felt they needed to get to know each other better first. Then he would tell her all about what he’d done that had indirectly been the cause of his aunt being where she was now. He could only pray that Gabrielle wouldn’t hold his misjudgments against him the way he wasn’t holding hers against her now.

  “And we need to plan a trip soon so you can visit Aunt Esther in Chicago. I think it will be wonderful for the both of you,” Zachary said.

  “Oh, I would love that! I have so much to tell her, so much to thank her for. I owe your aunt so much, so much. She absolutely physically saved me, even more than she’ll ever know. I want her to know exactly what her being in my life has meant to me.”

  “So”—he snapped his fingers—“what time would you like me to pick you up tonight?” Zachary asked again. “And listen: I want us to court. Not date, court. The definition of court is to tr y to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry. And like you, I want to do things the right way—God’s way. Personally, I believe the man should find the woman. You might think that’s Neanderthal or chauvinist thinking, but I believe it’s biblical, as demonstrated in that verse I quoted to you earlier about a man who finds a wife finding a good thing. That’s how I’d like to approach things with us.”

  “Me too. I don’t want to do anything that would put us in a position to fail. So, how do you feel about no kissing between us except on the cheek, and keeping hugs brief?”

  “Well, now, that’s kind of radical. But I suppose if I could practically give up women for five years to pursue my medical credentials, I can go along with this with you for however long this courtship takes. But I’m telling you up front, it might be hard, because I’m really falling for you. Okay, so no kissing except politely on the cheek?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, but for you, I’m willing to give it a try. Just please note the word try.”

  She smiled. “I’m falling for you, too, Zachary. Which is precisely why we don’t need to tempt things. I can’t promise you right now that I’m strong enough to fight the feelings we might develop even from something as innocent as a kiss. I can’t promise I’m strong enough. That’s how a lot of fires get started. An innocent kiss, then more kissing, passions begin to ignite, then before you know anything—poof! Fire!”

  “But what if we get married and find out one of us is not a good kisser?” Zachary said, grinning at her.

  Gabrielle laughed. “Oh, that’s no biggie. If that should turn out to be the case, I’ll just have to teach you how to kiss, that’s all,” she said, laughing.

  He laughed as he shook his head slowly. He bit down on his bottom lip and slightly twisted his mouth. “Then, I suppose it’s official.” He held out his hand to her. “You and I are officially courting.”

  “Officially courting,” she said. But when she took his hand and shook it to seal their agreement, she quickly snatched her hand out of his and began shaking it as though she’d been burned. “You know, we might need to add shaking hands to our list of things we can’t do.” She laughed.

  He smiled. “Yeah,” he said, also shaking off the shock of electricity he’d felt. “Maybe we should. The play begins at seven o’clock. We can go to dinner before we go to the play if you’d like.”

  “Dinner sounds good. I guess you can pick me up at five.”

  “We’d better make that four-thirty. I wouldn’t want to chance us arriving late to the play. I don’t want to have to fight somebody who might be in our seats. You know how folks are. And we have front-row seats—a perk, I’m quickly learning, of being a doctor.”

  “Four-thirty is fine with me.” She stepped outside the doorway. “I suppose I’d better get going then so I can be ready, huh?”

  “Yeah.” He smiled. “I’ll see you at four-thirty.”

  She took a few steps toward her car, then turned around and gave Zachary a quick hug. “Thank you,” she said. “And I thank God for you.”

  He looked down at her, his eyes locked on hers. He didn’t want to let go. “No, I thank God for you.” And before either of them knew anything, they were kissing. He smiled as they both struggled to pull away from each other. “I’m not so sure how this no-kissing thing is going to work out.”

  She grinned as she bit down on her bottom lip, then scrunched her face. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

  He shook his head as she walked away. “Lord, help us,” he said. “Oh, man!”

  Zachary went to pick Gabrielle up for dinner and the play. He laughed when she opened the door and performed a quick shuffle drawing attention to her shoes.

  “Those look like real glass slippers,” he said of her clear high-heel shoes.

  She grinned. “Yeah. And you look like Prince Charming in that dapper suit.”

  He made a sucking sound with his teeth as he made a show of straightening his jacket. “I am rather charming, aren’t I?” He closed her door, she locked it, and then he held out his arm for her to take. “Come, my princess,” he said as they strolled toward an awaiting white stretch limousine. “Your carriage awaits you.”

  Gabrielle laughed. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a nut?”

  “My sister Queen. More times than I care to count.” He laughed. “And you know: sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes it’s Almond Joy.” He leaned down to kiss her once again.

  She shook her head and grinned as she only allowed him a peck. “Oh, I can see we’re definitely in trouble. There’s going to be a whole lot of praying going on down here.”

  He laughed and looked toward the sky. “Thank You, Lord. Oh, yes! I thank You!” He looked at Gabrielle and gave her another quick peck on her lips. “You’re so right. There’s going to be a whole lot of praying, without ceasing, I might add, going on down here. A whole lot!” He hugged her, then picked her up and began to spin around.

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  Prologue

  And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.

  —2 Samuel 23:4

  It was summertime, school was out, and with sky-high temperatures reaching near one hundred degrees, even the bees appeared to be chilling out from the smothering heat. Ten years old, Brianna and Alana were outside on the long, covered front porch playing a game of Monopoly—the board type, not something electronic like all the other children their age normally played. Brianna’s father, Amos Wright, didn’t believe children should stay cooped up in the house
watching television and playing video games all day. Brianna didn’t mind; she liked being outside. On the other hand, Brianna’s mother, Diane, would have preferred her daughter do things inside, especially on scorching hot days like this.

  Around midday, suddenly and unexpectedly, dark clouds rolled in.

  “Girls, it looks like it’s going to rain. You probably need to come inside now,” Brianna’s mother said as she stood holding the front door open.

  “We’re on the porch, Mother,” Brianna said. “We won’t get wet on the porch.”

  “Well, if it starts lightning, I want you to come in the house immediately. Do you two understand me?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Brianna and Alana said in such perfect unison that it sounded like one voice.

  “Older people sure are funny when it comes to rain,” Brianna said after her mother closed the front door.

  Alana loosely shook the two white dice around in her hand, then threw them on the board, rolling a double three, automatically garnering herself another turn. “I know,” Alana said as she counted out loud and advanced her wheelbarrow six spaces. “Boardwalk,” she said with obvious disappointment.

  “Yes!” Brianna said, picking up her title deed card to that property. “Let’s see now, with two houses, you owe me six hundred dollars!” Brianna held out her hand for payment.

  Alana slowly counted out the money, leaving her with only a small amount of money to play with. “It’s a good thing I’m close to passing go and collecting two hundred dollars,” Alana said. “I just hope I don’t land on any of your other properties on my next roll, or this game will pretty much be over—two hundred more dollars or not.”