A Devious Desire

by Jacqueline Baird

  'You should be grateful it was your lover I punched out. I've never hit a woman in my life, but last night I came pretty close.' His lips twisted in a cynical parody of a smile. 'I blame myself; usually when I make a contract I'm meticulously thorough. In our deal I forgot to stipulate fidelity—an oversight on my part, but one you will never get another chance to exploit.'

  Saffron stared at him white-faced, but deep inside the numbness that had encased her for the past few hours was melting and fury was growing, a smouldering anger fed by pain at his betrayal, a pain so sharp that she struggled to breathe. The two-faced, arrogant swine! she thought.

  Suddenly her temper snapped. In a blue fury she got to her feet and covered the space between than in a flash, her small hand curved in a fist aimed straight at his jaw.

  His hand fastened on her wrist, and her knuckles harmlessly brushed his cheek as he forced her arm behind her back, hauling her tightly against his hard body. 'You little hellion,' he grated between his teeth, 'I'll show you.'

  But Saffron was past caring what he said or did. 'You forgot fidelity!' she screeched. 'Don't make me laugh! I know! Do you hear me? I know, you two-timing, sanctimonious pig! James was never my lover, never: I went to him for help after finding your bloody mistress living in your apartment.'

  She was free so suddenly that she stumbled back. His hands caught her shoulders to steady her, and his Mack eyes fastened on her flushed and furious face with a puzzling intensity. "You went to the apartment last night? What for?' he demanded.

  'Not to find Sylvia, that's for sure,' she shot back scathingly.

  His grip tightened for a second then relaxed. 'You were looking for me.' An intensely speculative look gleamed in his dark eyes, "And you found Sylvia.' His hands kneaded her slender shoulders. 'You were jealous.' A hint of a smile curled his lips. 'You were jealous and furious and ran out into the rain, and that's when you sought out James, ' he surmised triumphantly, his eyes never leaving her face. 'Have I got It right?'

  He was far too astute; he saw far too much, Saffron thought bitterly. 'Bully for you—a regular Sherlock Holmes, no less.' She shrugged. 'So what? It doesn't matter any more.'

  'No?' he queried softly, 'I think it does. I think you and I need to talk.'

  'We have nothing to talk about. It's over,' she snapped back, and at that moment the yacht hit a large wave and Saffron fell forward hard against him; she felt his body tense to keep their balance, and suddenly she was swept up in his arms and he was striding purposefully across the room and up the gangway to his stateroom.

  'Put me down,' she commanded, but she instinctively curved her arm around his neck to prevent herself falling and the numbness that had cushioned her for the past few hours melted completely, an electric awareness jolting through her body. His face so near to here, the subtle male scent of him, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat were so achingly familiar; she loved the man, and the hurt he had caused her was like a knife shredding her heart.

  Alex opened the door and backed into his cabin still holding her. 'Please let me go,' she pleaded, and she meant for good. She could stand no more pain; her emotions were raw, her pride in tatters.

  'Never, Saffron,' Alex murmured, and he lowered her slowly down his long body, but kept his arms firmly around her.

  She was trapped. She tried to wriggle free, and gasped as she felt the telling stirring of his arousal against her belly. With one hand he stroked up her back and tangled his fingers in her hair, forcing her to look up into his dark, brooding face.

  'Sex is no solution,' she said, recognising the deepening gleam in his brown eyes and determined not to give in to his potent masculine appeal, even as her body ached to do so.

  'No, but love is!'

  'What would you know about love? You've had more women than hot dinners—a mistress, a wife—even your own mother is frightened of you!' Saffron lashed back, staring up at him with unconcealed belligerence. He had the nerve to mention love to her! He didn't know the meaning of the word. His wealth and looks, his confidence and power assured that he always had a willing woman in his bed. He didn't need love, didn't understand the concept. And she had been an idiot to imagine for a moment that she could change him.

  'I love you.' He smiled without humour. 'Though I don't expect you to believe me.'

  Saffron blinked. Had she heard right?Her eyes flashed up, wide and wondering. He avoided her gaze, his long lashes shielding his eyes but not quite masking the unfamiliar vulnerability is their black depths.

  'I know I've treated you badly, but you must listen. Allow me to speak is my own defence.' And with a quick return to his usual self he pinned her with a look of arrogant authority. 'You're my wife—you owe me that much.'

  Intrigued, and with a glimmer of hope in her shattered heart, Saffron said, 'So talk.'

  'Can we sit down first?' he asked, and she allowed him to lead her to the bed,. They sat side by side, not touching.

  'When I first met you, you attacked me, infuriated me and entranced me al at the same time. I thought I was too old for love, didn't really believe in it. I told myself it was simply sex, a fierce chemical reaction whenever ï was near you. I was determined to have you is my bed.'

  'I remember.' Saffron stalled slightly as the image of a near-naked Alex the first morning on the yacht rose up to tempi her.

  'Yes. Well.' Alex turned slightly and, lifting his hand, brushed a few golden curls from her brow. 'A red headed vision of loveliness, you fascinated me so much that I didn't care if you were another of my mother's traps. In my conceit I thought it was only a matter of time before you fell into my arms. But you proved me wrong.'

  If only he knew, she thought, that from the first day she'd been aching for him. She lowered lier eyes, her gaze fixed on her hands clasped in her lap. 'A first for you, so doubt,' she said with a tinge of sarcasm. She wanted to believe him, but. . .

  'Damn it, look at me, Saffron!' Use forceful command surprised her, and her eyes flashed to his as he grasped both her hands in his much larger ones. 'Cut the sarcasm and give me a chance. Give us a chanœ.'

  'Us'. His voice was persuasive, deep and soft as velvet. She looked at him and oh, how she wanted to trust him!

  'You were a first for me, a woman who wasn't mine for the taking. I had never had that trouble before. I'm a wealthy man; women fall over themselves for my money, and I thought you would be the same.'

  'You believe I am the same,' Saffron could not help inserting. 'Your deal said as much.'

  Alex turned, her hands over in his, his thumbs rubbing her palms, seeding tremors of delight through her. 'I said a lot of things I didn't mean.' He raised his dark eyes to her face. 'But you drove me to it, Saffron. When you left Greece for London, I told myself it didn't matter,I would see you again, but the very next day I was telephoning you. I missed you. But I was still not prepared to admit it was anything more than sex, even when I followed you to London and took you out to dinner and back to my apartment. It was only when you waited out that night after demanding marriage that I began to worry.'

  'You, worry?' Saffron could sot imagine anything bothering the indomitable Alex.

  'Yes; I'm as human as the next man. Very human,' he husked, and, lifting her hands, he pressed a kiss on each. palm.

  'No. You said talk; the truth.' Saffron knew they had to get everything out in the open; there could be no secrets between than if their marriage was to have any chance at all.

  'Yes.' He smiled grimly. "The truth. I spent a sleepless night, and convinced myself marriage was a good idea. A good deal. I was nearly forty, it was time I thought of an heir, it would make my mother happy, and I got you in my bed. I refused to admit to myself it was anything more. Even when ï proposed the next day I was still deluding myself.'

  Saffron knew all about delusions; hadn't she suffered from the same virus, with her stupid plot for revenge? 'Alex. . .'

  'Let me finish, Saffron—now, while I have the serve. I spent all last night preparing this speech and I ha
ve to do it.'

  This was an Alex she had never seen before—her all- powerful husband was uncertain, nervous, even contrite! 'Go on,' she prompted softly.

  'On our wedding-day, putting the ring on your finger, I was exultant. Arrogantly I congratulated myself on having got the girl I wanted, desired above all others, without having to admit I was in love. I couldn't wait to get you alone in Paris. But my devious desire backfired spectacularly on our wedding night when you told me the reason behind your demand for marriage.'

  She gazed up at his sombre face and saw the lingering trace of remembered pain in the depths of his dark eyes. How could they have got it so wrong? she asked herself, moisture glazing her eyes. 'I accused you of being little better than a pimp,' she said with a regretful shake of her head.

  'I could have killed you then.' Alex's eyes flashed briefly with remembered anger. 'That the woman I was finally beginning to realise I loved could think so badly of me, that I could be so easily deceived only proved what I had always known: love made one vulnerable and was to be avoided at all costs. But I couldn't let you go, I wanted you too much, so I suggested our bargain.'

  'Suggested? Ordered more like,' Saffron corrected him, then lifted her hand from his and reached up to stroke her slender fingers down his hard cheek. He had said he loved her again. Perhaps it was her turn to be brave and take a chance, try to expíale,

  'I confessed the truth on our wedding night not because I wanted revenge, but simply because I knew I loved you, and I couldn't go through with a marriage made for all the wrong reasons. I think I secretly hoped that if I could forgive the fact that you owned the club that destroyed Eve and you could forgive my stupid bid for revenge then maybe we could start again.'

  'You loved me then?' Alex queried in amazement. 'Enough to think that badly of me and still forgive me?' His voice was hoarse and, slipping an arm around her narrow shoulders, his free hand covering hers where it rested on his cheek, he continued, 'You humble me with your love and compassion, Saffron, and to think I repaid you by making love to you on our wedding night in anger. Hurting you, destroying your love. I'm sorry.'

  'Don't be.' Safe in his arms with his avowal of love echoing in her heart, she freely confessed, 'You didn't hurt me; it was the most wonderful experience of my life. I enjoyed it.'

  'That has been part of my trouble,' Alex said ruefully. 'I enjoy you too much. I've never known or imagined a woman like you. In my arms, in our bed, you're so beautiful, so passionately responsive, you make me lose all control. It frightens me.'

  'It's the same for me,' Saffron murmured.

  'But don't you see?' he swept on. 'Because sex between us was so fantastic, when I got you on Serendipidos, in my conceit, I smugly concluded that our deal was perfect and much better than mushy avowals of love. You were great friends with my mother and I was your first and only lover; there was no way you would leave me.'

  'Modesty becomes you,' she said drily.

  His smile was wry as he lowered his head and kissed ter softly. 'Jackass springs to mind,' he derided himself, before adding in a much more serious tone, 'But last night, seeing you in James's apartment, I was knocked right off my axis, my supreme arrogance destroyed. By sheer chance I had called there, and to find my half- naked wife coming out of the bathroom. . ." He shook his head as if to banish the image.

  Quick to reassure him, Saffron said, 'Nothing happened, Alex; I arrived half an hour before you, soaked to the skin and in tears. I asked James to arrange for me to return to England immediately. Instead he gave me a stiff drink and told me to get out of my wet clothes and then we could talk. You know the rest.'

  'God, yes! I saw red and hit him, but even in my rage the worst part, the thing that ripped my pride to shreds, was the fact that I never for a second considered letting you go. I didn't care if he was your lover.' His dark gaze burned into hers as he amended quickly, 'No, I did care, I was absolutely gutted, but there was no way in the world I could live without you. Never to have you in my arms again, to bury myself deep in your feminine softness. . . Ego, pride, you could trample on the lot and I still couldn't let you go. I love you. . .'

  Saffron's eyes widened. She had longed for his love for so long and had tried to believe that it was possible. But she hadn't dared hope for anything like this. Her dynamic, powerful husband was laying his heart at her feet. She leant towards him. 'I lo—' But she stopped as the reason for her distress the previous evening came back to taunt her.

  Alex, sensing her hesitation, pulled her up and on to his lap, his arms tightening fiercely around her. 'You don't have to say you love me. Not now. I simply want the chance to win your love.' His dark eyes searched her beautiful but wary face. 'I will in the end; I'm a determined man and I'll never give up, supposing it takes a lifetime.' His hand slipped beneath her shirt and stroked up her back while his other hand caught her chin and turned her face to his. 'How can I persuade you to take a chance on me?'

  'I went to Athens yesterday to surprise you, and hopefully talk you into letting me go back to work.' Saffron burst into speech, refusing to give in to the seductive trail of his hand on her bare back. "The island is quiet in the winter; I was feeling lonely and it seemed a good idea at the time—until I went to the apartment and discovered you shared it with Sylvia.'

  All his protestations of love faded against the incontrovertible truth, Saffron realised sadly. Sylvia was his mistress. She had seen it with her own eyes on this very yacht, outside this very cabin, never mind last night.

  She attempted to slide off his lap but with easy strength Alex held her close and, falling back on the ted within seconds, she was flat on her back, Alex leaning over her, his lower body imprisoning hers while his hands rested either side of her head.

  'It's no good denying it, Alex. I saw your clothes next to hers in the wardrobe.'

  'Saffron, darling, I'm flattered by your jealousy but I swear I have never, ever made love to Sylvia. In fact I have never so much as looked at another woman since the moment I saw you. A few of my clothes may still be in the wardrobe, but I have never stayed there with Sylvia or any other woman. I offered Sylvia the use of the apartment for the rest of her stay in Greece simply because she told me she was tired of living in a hotel, and as it was my fault she had to stay here to oversee the selling of the health club chain I thought it was the least I could do. I moved out to a hotel.

  'In a way it was your fault. I'm off-loading the health clubs so you can't possibly think, even for a second, I would be involved in anything so seedy as a massage parlour.' He grinned cheekily. 'Anyway, I hope to keep my own personal masseuse.'

  Saffron was stunned by his action but still found it hard to forget Sylvia so easily.

  Seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, Alex lowered his head, his hard mouth brushing gently over her brow, down her nose and finally touching her lips. 'Think, Saffron. We have never spent a night apart since Aunt Katherina revealed I was not the villain you thought.'

  He was right but she still wasn't convinced. 'Alex, I know you and Sylvia were once lovers.'

  'Rubbish.' He bit the tip of her chin gently. 'Forget Sylvia; I love you and right now I want you quite desperately.'

  Saffron sighed softly, her pulse speeding as Alex moved his long legs either side of hers, allowing her to fed his urgency. 'When we were cruising I saw Sylvia leaving your cabin early one morning,' she got out breathlessly.

  Alex reared back. 'Never.'

  'Don't lie to me, Alex. I walked into the hall one morning and Sylvia was leaving your cabin.'

  'Saffron, I swear to you she had not spent the night with me. For God's sake, you know I spent the whole of the cruise trying to get you into bed; how could I look at another woman?'

  That much was true, Saffron allowed.

  'I don't know why the damned woman was at my door, but I'm telling you the truth.' His dark eyes bored down into hers, his expression grim. 'Sylvia's leaving my employ next week, she's going to work for the new owners, but before she does I'
m damn well going to get to the bottom of this.' He rolled on to his side and sat up, shoving his hand distractedly through his black hair. 'I don't know how to convince you, but I will,' he said adamantly, with a swift return to his usual masculine arrogance.

  Saffron tried to sit up, but he shoved her back among the pillows. She saw his shoulders coming near, the determined light in his black eyes, and she lifted her hands to his chest in an effort to restrain him. She refused to let him convince her with sex. It was too important.

  'Saffron?' he rasped in query.

  She looked at him, his jutting chin, the firm line of his jaw, and she almost believed him, wanted to give in to the promise in his eyes. But she remembered just how hard and insensitive he could be, even resorting to violence with James.

  'Your own mother told me you always took one or more of your women on the family cruise.' And, determined to air all her grievances, Saffron added, 'And she didn't dare tell you that your father loved Aunt Katherina.'