Healing Grace (9781621362982)

by Shriver, Beth

  When she heard the door shut, the pulsing in her head slowed to a normal pace. She had wondered whether it would ever come to this—passing along his physical abuse from her mother to her. She knew what followed. It was only a matter of time. He’d threatened her before, but never raised a hand to her. All she could do was be compliant, but Abby wasn’t very good at that. She spoke her mind to most people, but not to Jim. This was a good reminder of why she didn’t.

  Abby cleaned up on autopilot, methodically got ready for work, and left without paying attention to any other housework that needed to be done. Sometimes she wondered what it was like for Amish women. They helped each other do their daily chores, something Abby didn’t like to do, but it would be much better to have others to share the load. They probably became fast friends, as well. Friendship was something Abby gave up a long time ago. Her home life was too unpredictable to invite anyone over. Her parents hadn’t invited others over, either. The older she got, the more she knew why. Her father was a controlling, jealous man. He had loved her mother but hadn’t let her live a full life. Distrust created a holding pen for her and for Abby. The only way to hide the dysfunction was to hibernate on their farm. It was bearable up until her mother died. Now Abby felt she was serving a sentence, with locks and shackles confining her into a solitary existence.

  She drove slowly to school, though she felt she should be speeding because of how late she was going to be. At the school the secretary waved her into the office. She didn’t have time, but she couldn’t say no.

  “Morning.” She tried to sound much more cheerful than she felt.

  “There’s someone to see you.” The secretary’s round figure and bouffant hairdo fit her unique personality.

  A chill went down Abby’s back as she worried that it was Jim. She chided herself.

  He’s never come here before.

  “Where is he?” Abby turned and began to breathe again when she spotted Mose sitting in the waiting room next to the office.

  He smiled and gave his hat a tap on the brim. He seemed perfectly at ease. When a little girl walked by him, she giggled and told him she liked his suspenders.

  “What are you doing here?” Abby asked with more of an authoritative tone than she meant.

  “That’s some greeting.” He frowned.

  She let out another breath to regain a more gentle composure. “Sorry. It’s been a rough morning.”

  “I can see that.” When he stared at her with his head cocked slightly to one side and no expression on his face, Abby knew she was being analyzed. But she was too worried trying to act like everything was fine.

  “Did you come to see me?”

  What other reason would there be?

  She instantly felt stupid for asking, but it was just going to be that kind of day.

  “Came to get my hat.” His blue eyes twinkled slightly as he said it.

  So there was another reason—the same excuse that she had used to visit him the other day. They seemed to have found a mutual way of keeping in touch. Thank goodness for the disappearing hat. “Looks like you have another one.”

  “Jah, can’t go without one where I come from.”

  “So, you didn’t come to see me?” She sat next to him and glanced at the secretary, who was enjoying the conversation.

  Mose moved forward. “Well, jah, that too.”

  The bell rang, and she stood. “I have to go to my class.”

  Mose wasn’t in as much of a hurry as she was, obviously used to a slower pace. “Mind if I see how you work?”

  Abby was genuinely surprised. No one had been interested in her job, except her mother. But even with her, it helped pay the bills, and that’s what was always on her parents’ minds. She looked over at the secretary.

  “I’m not gonna screen him. He’s Amish.” The secretary grinned, showing a crooked front tooth. “I know where to find you.” She pointed a finger at him.

  Mose smiled at her, then stood and followed Abby. “Must be the hat.”

  “Yes, it seems to serve a lot of purposes.” She grinned. It felt good to be playful with someone. Abby kept the grin as they walked to her room, where Manfred sat waiting. His eyes lit up when he saw Mose. Having no father figure in his life, Manfred obviously longed for the attention of a male figure.

  When Esta walked in, she stopped and stared. “Mose?”

  “Jah, thought I’d learn something new today.”

  Esta chuckled. “I never thought I’d see you here.”

  He bent over and spoke softly. “Neither did I.”

  She grinned and took her seat. Some of the younger Amish children needed assistance with their English once they started school. Esta was one of those few.

  Mose held out his hand to Manfred. The boy’s eyes widened as he gawked up at him. Mose was tall and had a muscular build that might be intimidating to a little guy like Manfred, but his warm smile seemed to make him relax. “Gut to meet you…Manfred, was it?”

  “Huh?” Manfred lifted his hand and frowned at the one pump hand shake of the Amish.

  “Gut, is ‘good’ in German,” Abby explained to Manfred. “Let’s do some reading. Take out your books.”

  “Aww, can’t you read to us first?” His doe-brown eyes captured her as usual, and she agreed to read one chapter of The Giving Tree.

  Mose leaned against her desk and rested his hand on top of the old piece of furniture. She started to read as usual, but she began to feel Mose’s gaze as he stood behind her. An awkward sensation came over her. Grateful to have a picture book, she moved the chapter along quickly and then asked the children to continue taking turns until the story was over.

  When the bell rang, the girls thanked Mose for coming, and Manfred tried out the Amish handshake again. “I think I got it.”

  “Jah, you did. You have a strong grip.”

  “Got two older brothers, but you know what that’s like.” He gave Abby a wave as he walked out the door.

  Abby turned to face Mose. “Quite the character, isn’t he?”

  “Jah, but there’s something about him…”

  “He has a difficult home life. But Manfred is fortunate enough to have a benefactor who pays for him to come to this school.”

  Mose frowned and stood tall. “What do you mean by difficult?”

  “Their family can’t make ends meet. His parents work the fields taking what work they can, but it’s not enough to live on. Social service got involved, and the children are split up in different foster homes.”

  Mose flinched and let out a long breath. “That’s a sad story.”

  Abby couldn’t help but smile. His concern warmed her heart and brought her one step closer to him. “You really took to little Manfred, didn’t you?”

  Mose shrugged and put his hands on his hips, seemingly a bit embarrassed. “And your reading. I didn’t know you did voices.”

  She smiled slightly, now the one embarrassed. “Habit, I guess.”

  They stood silently for a moment, which seemed much longer, until he finally spoke. He watched a couple of students come in and take a seat, and then turned back to her. “I guess I should be going and let you get back to work.”

  “Thanks for stopping by.”

  “Still didn’t get my hat.”

  She chuckled. “Guess I’ll have to bring it to you at work.”

  He pointed at her with the rim of his hat. “See you tomorrow, then.”

  She nodded and watched him leave. They may come from two different worlds, but she felt more of a connection with him than any other person she knew.

  Seeing Mose had started Abby’s day out well, and it continued that way until she got home and Old Blackie came running out of the barn with his tail between his legs.

  As she drove up to the house, she saw Jim’s truck had taken out the top two stairs of the porch. The barn door was open, and any horses, cows, or donkeys that were kept in the barn were out wandering the grounds. Abby let out a sigh that almost turned into a sob, but
she wouldn’t go there. She needed to take care of this, whatever it was Jim was up to.

  It was Friday, so she knew where he’d been. Two or more days a week, now, he’d come home barely able to drive. As she walked to the barn, she prepared herself for the condition he’d be in as the bubble of fear and anger moved up her throat.

  The whinny of a horse caught her attention, and she ran the rest of the way. She pushed through the barn door and followed the squealing sound of a horse. She knew it was Ginger and heard Jim growl at her so loudly her eardrums vibrated. The next sound brought her to a halt. A gunshot.

  Tears flooded her eyes. Her vision blurred as she ran to the last stall. Ginger pranced around, her white eyes filled with fear. Another shot went off and hit the ground, causing Jim to fall back against the wood planks behind him. He slid down, landing on his rump, his breathing labored and legs sprawled out in front of him.

  Abby reached out to grab the gun, but he dragged it out of reach. He pushed her away, but he was too weak to hold her back. She lunged for the gun again and ripped it out of his hand. The alcohol had taken his strength, giving her the advantage. She stood and looked down at him and felt hate like she never had before.

  “Where did you get the money for this horse?” He slurred the words and rolled his eyes at her, trying to focus.

  “What?” Abby scoffed, unable to comprehend how he had the gall to ask anything of her after putting all three of them in danger. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m puttin’ her down.” His thick tongue made it hard to comprehend, but she understood, only because the words fit him so completely. “You used her money.” He pointed to Ginger pacing around the far side of the stall. “Don’t lie; I talked to the horse trader you bought her from.” He sat up, stared at her, and then stood. He bent over with his hands on his knees. “You spent that on this.” He threw out a hand and stood up.

  He was regaining his faculties. That scared her. He wasn’t in his right mind, and he was angry and violent. She wanted to run, but it would be the tiny mouse running from the crazed cat.

  She’d seen what he could do, and she wasn’t brave enough to try to outwit or run him. So she stood there waiting for his next move.

  She jumped when he took his first step forward. “Darn you and this horse.” He pushed past her, turning her sideways as he hit her shoulder with his.

  Abby made sure he was gone before going to Ginger. Her leg was just as bad as on the day of the accident. Who knew how long he’d been in there tormenting the poor animal. Abby sat down against the stall, staring as Ginger tried to walk on three legs. She took the bullets out of the gun and lifted one of the planks in the wall.

  She placed the gun in the wooden hiding place. Abby hoped she’d never have to use it.

  Chapter Twelve

  BUDGET HAD LIMITED the new shop to only five stations— one for each piece of machinery. Mose was using the saw, his daed next to him with the shaper, Chris handled the jointer, and next to him was the planer. If Jake were home, he would be on the jointer, with Chris on the planer, but Mose didn’t want to think about Jake; it only made him angry. The mortise machine held the bits together and finished the job. The curing and painting would need to be done, as well. There wasn’t enough space for all of them to be in there together at one time, so daed took Chris with him to the blacksmith section of the shop.

  “I’d like to make this place bigger, but it would cost money we don’t have.” His daed let Chris pick out horseshoes and gathered the nails needed for shoeing the five horses in the corral.

  “No hurry, Daed. I’ve still got to finish up my two weeks’ notice at the shop in town. Once we get some customers coming out this way to fill furniture orders, we’ll have some cash to expand.” Mose watched Chris smooth down a piece of wood with precision. He seemed to be in his element when working with wood. This would be a good chore for them to do together.

  He hadn’t seen Abby for a couple of days and wondered why she hadn’t come to the shop. He didn’t care about the hat, but he appreciated its purpose. He had an unsettling feeling whenever she was away too long. Her daed concerned him. Something wasn’t right, but he wasn’t sure what it was. She didn’t share a lot about herself, and especially about her family. He couldn’t help but wonder why. He didn’t think badly about many people, but he couldn’t help having doubts about Abby’s daed.

  He pulled his saw through a piece of hickory wood with ease using the tool he’d bought and repaired, costing half the cost of a new one. The process was so familiar, his mind wandered. Maybe the silly hat had outworn its charm. When Mose remembered her reading to the students and how little Manfred struggled, he appreciated the work she did. A thought tumbled into his brain.

  She could help us with our school, like the bishop suggested.

  They would build the school the same as a barn raising, so it wouldn’t take long. They didn’t usually build in the Texas summer due to the heat, but it needed to be done, and it would take half the time due to the size.

  “Daed, did they decide on a day to build the school yet?” Mose hoped it was soon, as he’d heard it was. It couldn’t be soon enough for him.

  “Day after tomorrow, so make time.” He brought his hammer down on the smoldering horseshoe, working out the bent metal.

  “Can I try, Daed?” Chris watched with fascination, reminding Mose of the time he first shoed a horse.

  “Nee, son. Watch and learn first.” Daed wiped his forehead and banged on the stubborn metal.

  When Mose saw Chris’s face drop, he thought of something to cheer him up. “The coming-of-age ceremony will be soon, won’t it, Daed?”

  Chris’s eyes widened. “When?”

  Daed grinned mischievously. “Are you ready for that? It’s a big responsibility to say you’re a young man.”

  The service would go forward as usual, but there would be a special time for the boys around Chris’s age to be recognized. Mose suddenly thought it would be something Abby might like to experience. Then he shook his head. Everything seemed to lead back to her, and it worried him. They were separate, living different lives. He would have to force himself to concentrate on the work at hand.

  “Mose.” Chris was watching him, waiting for him to answer something that Mose hadn’t heard.

  “Sorry, what was that?”

  Chris shook his head and pointed to the piece of wood Mose was working on. When he looked up, his daed was grinning. Mose had cut the piece lengthwise instead of across.

  Mose took off his work belt and walked outside, taking in the humid heat that was so thick he felt he could touch it.

  His daed was close behind him. “What’s on your mind, son?” He rolled his fingers to rid them of the metal shavings that had collected on his hands.

  “Something that shouldn’t be,” Mose blurted out, and then regretted it. He didn’t need to be told. He just couldn’t stop the irrational thoughts.

  “If you’re worried about the shop, we’ll get it going in due time.” Daed rested one hand on his ever-growing belly and hooked the other hand around his suspender.

  “It’s not that. I hadn’t planned on quitting my job in town until I know it’s all gonna pan out.” He let out a long breath that felt as heavy as the hot air.

  “What is it, then?” They both stared at the many acres of cotton.

  “It’s hard to explain.” He could hear his daed’s advice without even telling him. He knew the answer; he just didn’t want to face up to it.

  “There are plenty of nice girls here, you know.”

  Mose whipped around to face him. “I’m not interested.”

  “That’s what I hear.” Daed finally looked him in the eye.

  “How do you know?”

  “I’m not a fool. I was there once.”

  Mose shook his head. “Not in the same way I am.”

  “I’m pretty sure I was. Sweetest girl I ever knew was English.”

  Mose about jumped out of his suspenders. “
Why would you mention that?”

  “You know why.”

  Mose swallowed hard. He hadn’t realized how obvious he was when it came to Abby.

  “We are a small community, but there is another one right close to town that we commune with.” His forehead wrinkled in question. “Just do what’s right.” And with that, he walked back into the shop and shut the door.

  What did that mean, “do what’s right”?

  He knew nothing could ever come of him and Abby’s relationship. He didn’t need to be reminded.

  He kicked the dirt, walked back in, and spent the rest of the afternoon making a fine rocking chair for his first customer, Abby.

  Chapter Thirteen

  IT HAD BEEN eight days and counting since her encounter with Jim, which was also the last time she saw Mose. She purposely made stops at places where Mose might be—the furniture shop and the place he boarded his horse in town, even the hat store to find out whether they had seen him.

  I’ll just have to drive down to his community. She wondered if he was upset with her, but she couldn’t think of anything that would cause him to be.

  As the children left for the day, she noticed Esta walking down the hall in front of her. She’d been tempted to ask her about Mose, but she wanted to keep it proper, so she didn’t put her on the spot.

  “Have a good evening, Esta.” A cordial way to let her know she was there. “And tell Mose hello for me.”

  Esta stopped, so Abby did too. “You probably see him less now that he doesn’t work in town anymore.”

  “He left the furniture store?”

  “Jah, he’s opening up his own shop at his daed’s place, next to their blacksmith shop.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know.”

  Is he deliberately trying to stay clear of me? She was thinking too much. “I’ve missed seeing him.” That much was true, and she hoped Esta told him so.

  “He asks about you too.” She smiled and waited for her response, which Abby tried to make as subtle as she could without appearing to be too interested.

  “I’m sure we’ll see each other soon.” She smiled and walked away, wondering in what way he wanted to know about her. Common curiosity as to whether he was really interested in her? Abby shook her head. This was silly. She would just go out there and see him so she could find out for herself.