by Hilary Storm
I nod yes to him and watch his eyes fall to the floor right before he turns to walk out of the room. I hold my emotions in check even though it’s ruining me inside. He stops right as he reaches the door.
“I really do love you, Ivy.”
I squeeze my eyes closed and clamp down on my jaw. The urge to sob uncontrollably is taking over. With my hand over my heart, I open my eyes to watch the man I love walk out of my life. I work hard to remind myself that this is for the best.
~Twelve~
Taron
I’m done. I need out of this enclosed bus. Luke is the first to say something to me when I storm out of the room.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Ivy is leaving tonight.” I pace in the small walkway and the only place that isn’t full of our crap. Eaven jumps up.
“What? Where’s she going? She’s not leaving on her own. I don’t care what she thinks.”
“Aiden is coming to get her tonight.”
“She’s not leaving. I’ll handle this.”
“No Ev. Let her go. I’m sending Holden and the guys with her. She’ll be safe. She wants to go and we can’t force her to stay.”
“I’m talking to her. This is crap.” Eaven rushes into the room where Ivy is. Lilly follows right behind her.
I refuse to believe that she loves him. My heart isn’t lying. I know she fucking loves me as much as I do her, but she is stubborn. I can’t force her to stay even though every muscle in my body wants to.
“Holden. Don’t let anything happen to her. She’s my life. I’m trusting you with my life.”
“I got this, Taron.”
We pull onto location and I jump off the bus as soon as it comes to a stop. Waiting for me was none other than our tour manager. He looks pissed and I’m not in the mood for him right now. I walk right past him and head for the door.
“Taron, we’re going to settle something right now.” His tone enrages me, so I turn around and stare at him.
“Miss another show and Rebel Walking is out. Walk off stage during concert again and it’s over. I can’t cover for you anymore. You need to remember that you’re not the focus band. Rebel Walking is only a cover band. If you ever want more, then you have to act like it.” I bite my tongue. I know he’s dead on with the facts, but right now isn’t the time for me to deal with him.
“Fine.” I turn and continue my walk into the arena. I can’t watch her leave. I don’t want to see Aiden, and I know Holden will keep me posted.
Ivy
I knew Ev would be right in. I lock myself in the bathroom and quietly cry. She is at the door within minutes and I know I have to get it together. She will see through me.
“Ivy, what the hell?” Open the door!”
I dry my eyes knowing that I can’t hide from her and take a deep breath. I open the door and walk out to face by best friend.
“I’m going to stay with Aiden until things blow over.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to, and if I stay on tour then Dylan will always know where to find me.” She stops to think about that.
Lilly steps up and pulls me in for a hug.” Oh baby girl. I hate this for you. That bastard deserves to rot.”
“I’m gonna miss you!” Eaven is still standing next to us with a shocked look on her face.
“I can meet up with you at a concert in a few weeks. I promise to stay in touch and we’ll talk everyday. How about we meet for dress fittings in New York?” This doesn’t make her as happy as I hoped it would.
“Ok, but it won’t be the same without you here.”
“I know, but we can talk daily.” I reach for her and let her squeeze life back into me. I’m going to need her love in the next few days, but she won’t be there to help me through it. I draw strength from her until she pulls away.
“I miss you already.” Lilly wraps her arms around us both and we let the tears flow. I hold back because the tears I need to cry will scare everyone including myself.
I feel my phone vibrate and see that Aiden has arrived. He is responding to Taron’s text, so I quickly tell him not to pay attention to it.
“Aiden will be here in twenty, so I need to get my stuff gathered.”
“Holden is going with you, so you have to wait for him.” Eaven moves to the door to yell for Holden. He pops in and she tells him that cowboy is on his way. That poor guy will never be appreciated for everything he’s done. Holden looks at me with a frown, and I know he isn’t happy about following me across the country.
I use the remaining time to talk to the girls. We keep the conversation light and that helps keep me calm. When Aiden shows up, I hear him strategizing with Holden. There is a cabin in an exclusive area in Missouri that Aiden has access to. We’ll be staying there for a couple of weeks. I hear Aiden say that he wants me to see a counselor to help me through this. I can’t argue with that because I’m not coping well. I’m an emotional wreck, and I don’t know how to heal from all of this. I know it takes time, but I don’t even know how to begin.
“Hey Aiden.” I enter in the middle of him telling Holden about a counselor he has in mind.
“Hi Ivy, baby. We’re gonna keep you safe from that asshole. That, I can promise ya. I can’t believe he contacted you again.” I lean into his chest and greet him.
“I love you girl! Take care of you!” Eaven wraps me up for one last hug and both girls leave us.
Our flight out isn’t until tomorrow. The guys make arrangements for us to stay in a hotel for the night. I work hard to keep it together when Holden is around. Aiden doesn’t give anything away when I wrap my arms around his waist. He puts an arm on my shoulder and pulls me in tight. I wait until Holden steps off the bus to get our transportation before I lose it.
I fall apart like the mess my life is. Aiden stands tall and holds my body up. “Ivy, what are you doing? Why are you hugging on me like this?”
“I told Taron that I’m in love with you so he would let me leave. He would never have let me go with you if I didn’t say that to him.”
“Why are you pushing him away?”
“Because he’ll walk away from tour for me. He’ll ruin everything they’ve built, and I can’t let him do that. Maybe we can be together one day if I get my life together, but not now.”
“I refuse to drag him down and right now I’m totally depending on him for everything. I need to break away and get things situated.”
“I understand and we’ll figure it out.”
“Just go along with this when Holden is around until I figure something else out.”
He nods and pulls me in for anther hug. “Ivy, you have been through so much the past few weeks, of course I’m here for you.” I haven’t needed this many hugs in my entire life.
My heart is broken that I had to say those things to Taron. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt him, but I know how he is. He won’t let me go if I don’t break him apart with words that pierce through the both of us.
Holden arranges a separate cab for us so he could go ahead of us to prepare the hotel. We get to the hotel and I see that Holden has taken his responsibility very seriously. He meets me at the cab to escort me in and we travel to our room in the most direct path possible. This guy is thorough. He opens the door to our room and begins searching the closets and bathroom. I stop him as he drops to the floor to look under the bed.
“Holden, what the hell! Calm down. No one is in here.” My face has to tell him that I think he’s crazy.
“Don’t you dare down-play this, Ivy. That guy is a crazy mother-fucker and I won’t take any chances, so get used to this until he’s found.”
There’s a knock at the door and Holden moves quickly to see who it is, even though I know it’s Aiden. Holden is wound so damn tight.
“We leave for the airport first thing in the morning, so you need to be ready early. We can’t miss the flight. I have security on the other end to get you to the cabin. He’s obviously obsessed with you and we
aren’t leaving any possible way for him to get to you.”
I smile at Holden’s serious nature and walk up to him. He’s the same height as Taron, but a little bigger built. There are so many similarities between Holden and the twins. I lean in to him and silently say thank you for everything. My heart is still breaking and I can’t seem to form the words to tell him how much I appreciate him following me half-way across the country because his brother loves me enough to keep me safe. There just aren’t any words to say that can come close to compare to my appreciation.
I take the bed farthest from the door and slide under the sheet. I know this is awkward for Aiden, but he’ll have to sleep in bed next to me. I face the wall and wait for one of them to do or say something. I wait for a long time, but fall asleep before he climbs into bed.
I wake sometime in the night and startle myself when I don’t realize where I am. My abrupt movement has Holden out of the other bed instantly. I glance down at Aiden who is on top of the blanket as far away from my side of the bed as possible. I don’t miss Holden’s face questioning me, but I begin to get nauseous again so I run to the bathroom.
I can’t stand this feeling. I feel like my insides are twisting and turning and I can’t seem to get relief. The stress that Dylan is putting on my life and now leaving Taron, is tearing me apart. I lose it again, but there is hardly anything left for me to throw up anymore.
I hear a tap on the door and see Holden peek in. “Do you need anything?”
“I hate this. I can’t stand this feeling.” I say through sobbing tears when I officially fall to pieces. I’m pretty sure hugging the toilet, while lying on a strange floor, as I run from a psycho stalker, and walk away from the man I love, is the all time low of my life. I can’t even get it together at this point to tell him that I need something or that I’m fine, because I’m not ok. The problem is that there is nothing Holden can do to help me.
My lack of movement has him kneeling next to me in seconds. “Just let it out. I’m sorry you have to deal with this psycho. I promise we’ll keep you safe.”
He has no idea that’s only half of what has my guts twisting.
He lifts me up from the floor and moves me to the sink. I use the washrag that he hands me to clean my face. I look in the mirror and see a disgusting ghost of a woman looking back at me. I look like complete shit. My face is healing, but I have no coloring, and the nauseated feeling hits again when I notice my medusa hair.
“Should we take you to the doctor?”
“No, it’ll pass. I just need a minute.”
“Ok, but you need something to help calm you. This is a lot of stress on a person. When we get settled, I’m going to have someone come to the cabin to check you out.”
“Ok.” I don’t argue because if someone can make me feel better, then I’m all for it.
Taron
She’s gone. Holden sent me a text that they checked into the hotel. We are staying the night in the city again tonight.
I manage to make it through the concert. The concert goes as well as it could with me being pissed off at the world. I finish the show and step over the panties that were thrown on stage. I don’t give a fuck about picking up a girl tonight. My life is full dealing with the one I have, or should I say don’t have anymore.
I grab a cab with only one place in mind. “Grand Hotel, fifty-sixth and Jackson.” I struggle the entire drive to her hotel. I can’t believe she’s with him. My mind won’t accept it, so I need to see it for myself. I need to see that her eyes don’t want to eat me alive. I need to see her look at him like she does me. I just can’t believe that she is this much of a bitch.
I hand the cab driver the money and enter the lobby. I hit the elevator to the forth floor since Holden told me what room they are in. I walk until I come face to face with room #422. I freeze mid knock and stop myself from barging in and throwing her over my shoulder to take her back.
I could never love you and I don’t trust you to be faithful. I know that I’m just another piece of ass to you.
Her words hit just as hard played back on replay as they did in real time. I slide down the wall until I land on my ass. I deserve this. My fucked up past is the reason she won’t trust me and how can I blame her? I didn’t want a relationship then. Life was much simpler then. I sure as hell never went to find a girl, let alone chase her down to make her prove she loves me more than a fucking cowboy.
What the hell is wrong with me? I bury my head in my hands and settle in for the night.
I wake up to the sound of a food cart rolling in my direction. I contemplate banging on the door, but decide to leave. The walk away from that door pulls in spots I don’t like being fucked with. I need to get away from here. Maybe I need a distraction to get my mind off of Ivy. I pull out my phone to dial Emily, she’s always up for a hook up. There’s no answer, but she’ll see that I called. It’s a guarantee that I’ll hear from her today.
~Thirteen~
Ivy
The plane ride is miserable. I’m over this feeling like crap. I tell Holden to get the doctor lined up quickly.
We land in Missouri and our drive is just as crappy. I need out of moving vehicles. Neither Aiden or Holden know what to do with me. I can tell that they’re both worried, but I can’t get control of the nausea. Just when I think that I’m better, it hits again.
“I found a doctor who will make a stop at the cabin tonight. She’s a friend of my family’s and will take care of you.” At least I have hope that I can possibly get some relief soon and feel better.
We get to the cabin after the longest drive of my life. This place is so far out of the way that there’s no way anyone will find us here. I feel safe instantly and look forward to resting in a secure and stable place for a change.
Aiden moves all of our things into the same room. I don’t even attempt to help. I don’t feel like I have the strength and if I tried they would both flip out on me anyway. I hit the shower right away and begin to feel some relief. I hurry through the process of washing to shorten the memories of Taron running through my mind.
I keep reminding myself that I have to do this. I have to walk away from him or I’ll drag him down with me.
The doctor arrives shortly after we do. The boys give us privacy and I begin to tell her everything that I’m going through. She decides to give me anxiety medicine to help calm my nerves. She suggests a local counselor to help me work through the emotions of the attack and stalker issues that Dylan has caused. I feel like things are going to actually be ok for the first time in weeks.
“I’m going to run blood work to see if anything else is going on with you.” She begins to write the prescription for my anxiety medicine when she pauses to look up at me. “Is there any possibility that you can be pregnant?”
Her question shocks me and I instantly reply, “No way possible.”
“Ok, because this medication can’t be taken by anyone who is pregnant or nursing. I’ll be running your blood work soon to test for it anyway, but thought I’d ask before I prescribe this.”
I sit there looking at her in complete disbelief. There is no way that I’m pregnant. Life can’t be that cruel. My thoughts travel back to my first night with Taron.
“There’s a slight chance that I can be.” I’m twisting inside thinking about the possibility.
“I can give you a test to take right now if you’d like. I brought one because Holden told me about the symptoms you’ve been having.”
“Um…. Ok.” I’m scared out of my mind right now. What am I going to do if it’s positive?
“Here you go. Do you know how to do it?”
“No, but I’ll figure it out.” I begin the life altering process of pissing on a stick only to stare at if for maybe twenty seconds before the positive line shows through. My breathing stops and I keep staring in hopes that it will fade away. Disappear, damn line. This can’t be happening.
“You ok in there?” She is talking through the door at me.
&n
bsp; “No.” I don’t even pull my eyes from the line. Tears are falling down my face and I don’t move my eyes from the line. I’m pregnant with Taron’s baby. Taron, the guy who will probably never settle down with one girl. The guy who literally has a panty collection from the girls that he has been with. How can I tell him about this? How can I keep this from him? My thoughts are all over the place as I begin to panic. What the hell am I going to do?
“Ivy, everything will be ok. I promise. Just stay calm and we’ll go over your options.”
Options? That snaps my eyes from the line as I whip my head toward the door. “What do you mean options?”
“Come out here and I’ll discuss them with you.”
I hurry to open the door and just glare at her.
“Don’t say another word. There are no options. This is a baby and I’ll love it with everything in me. I may need to regroup and come up with a plan, but I will. Don’t say a word about terminating or adoption. Those are not considered options to me.”
