Night Hawk

by Lindsay McKenna

  Kai was wearing a bright orange long-sleeved tee that complemented her auburn hair. Gil felt his lower body stir as his gaze moved down to her fine butt and those long legs encased in a pair of Levi’s. She had on a pair of work boots, not cowboy boots. And she was busy dumping some cereal into a bowl at the counter. Mouth tightening, he had to make this work. He was her boss, regardless of their jaded past with each other. Last night at the table, she’d patently ignored him. Of course, he’d ignored her, too. Gil didn’t blame her for her reaction to him. He could feel a lot of rage simmering just beneath the surface of Kai and it was all aimed at him.

  “Morning,” he growled, long before he reached the kitchen. Gil didn’t want to scare the hell out of Kai. He saw her jerk her head in his direction. Those beautiful dove-gray eyes of hers widened in surprise. And that soft mouth he had never forgotten about compressed. And then her fine, arched brows drew downward.

  “Morning,” Kai muttered defensively. She turned her back on him, pouring the cereal into her bowl.

  Gil needed to eat something before he started the day. And whether he liked it or not, he headed into the kitchen and worked around Kai. Already, her posture had gone from relaxed to tense. Her shoulders had come up, as if expecting a blow. Pain drifted through him. It was the last kind of reaction he wanted from her. But he’d earned it in spades. Moving past her, he walked over to the cupboard where all the dry cereals were kept and opened it.

  “You finding everything you need in here?” he demanded brusquely, hauling down a box.

  “Yes.”

  Her voice was clipped. Gil winced internally. He set the box on the drain board, a good three feet away from Kai. He saw a dark blue neckerchief around her slender neck. She wore no makeup, but being on a ranch didn’t invite cosmetics and wearing perfume. Still, her profile was clean and beautiful. Grabbing a bowl from another cupboard, he watched her pour milk into the bowl. Her hand trembled ever so slightly. He could feel the tension amping up between them. It was up to him to try to smooth things over the best he could.

  “Need sugar?” He pointed above her head toward another cupboard. “Cass keeps a sugar bowl up there.”

  “Thanks.”

  Gil took his huge bowl, twice the size of Kai’s, and poured half a box of the cereal into it. Today was going to be a work-heavy day and he needed the extra calories. He watched Kai retrieve the sugar bowl. When she was done with it, she pushed it a little in his general direction. Well, she might be pissed as hell at him, but she wasn’t beyond decent human thoughtfulness. A part of him breathed a sigh of relief. He watched her pick up the cereal bowl and go to the table and sit down. Thank God, she sat at one end. He’d sit at the other, giving her all the space he could.

  *

  KAI SAT AT the end of the table where Sandy had sat last night. Her stomach was tied in knots, literally. All her hunger had fled when Gil had unexpectedly arrived. She had hoped to avoid him, but here he was. Trying to ignore his recently shaven square face, those hard, intelligent blue eyes meeting hers, she’d felt an emotion that had just floored her: desire. Of all things!

  After sitting down, she quickly started eating, knowing that today Talon expected her to make an assessment on all the machinery. They had talked last night during dessert. He wanted her opinion on every piece of equipment, what it would take to get it up and running. She had her job cut out for her today.

  Watching covertly, she gazed at Gil’s broad shoulders and long, powerful back. Why couldn’t she get the past out of her memory? How she’d felt that masculine power, felt his tenderness despite his size and weight. Never would Kai have thought a man could be as gentle, as loving, as Gil had been with her.

  Tears burned in her eyes and Kai made a soft, frustrated sound in her throat, forcing herself to eat quickly. She had to get out of here! Get as far away from him as she could. But Kai knew that because Gil was the foreman, he would always be around her. She wasn’t sure she could handle it, but she needed this job so desperately. And she loved all the other people here on the ranch. It was such a whiplash and shock for her to see him once again.

  She averted her eyes as Gil turned and walked casually to the table. To her relief, he took the other end of it and sat down. She could feel the man’s energy all the way down the table! In the kitchen, she had inhaled the sage soap he’d used, and then that achingly familiar masculine scent of Gil, like a sexual aphrodisiac to Kai, had entered her nostrils. And damn her, she’d inhaled it like a starved beggar. Of all things!

  She kept eating as fast as she could, gulping down her food, willing it to disappear as fast as it could. There was no way she wanted to spend any time with this bastard.

  “We need to go to the equipment barn,” Gil told her, lifting his chin and staring down the table at her. “I need to get a detailed list from you when you’re done with your inspection. Then, Talon will decide what gets fixed first.”

  Nodding, Kai swallowed hard, holding his gaze. She remembered his eyes and how they would darken as he’d loved her. How they would lighten when he was honestly relaxed, which wasn’t often, as a field operator. But he had with her, in her arms, beside her after making such wild, hungry love with each other. “That’s fine,” she said, frowning. She hoped he wasn’t going to hang around her, working with her. That wasn’t something she could tolerate, because the anger and hurt over his walking out on her was boiling just beneath her surface. And she had to keep this job. If she rounded on Gil, took him to task, he could get her fired just like that. Insubordination toward a superior.

  “We’ll go over things after breakfast,” he said casually. “And then I’ll leave you alone. Come to me with the list once it’s finished.”

  “I can do that.” Relief sped through Kai. Was Gil reading her mind? Did he see the expression on her face and figure out she wanted him the hell away from her?

  “Good,” he muttered.

  Kai stood up, her bowl empty. As she walked toward the kitchen, she said, “I’m going out there now. I’ll see you when I get done with that list.” She saw him give a brisk nod but not look up. Good. Drenched with tension and the urge to run the hell out of the house, Kai forced herself to act normal. Not scared. Not angry. She knew during the first month of working here, Talon would be assessing her closely to see how she fit in with the ranch team or not. And more than anything, Kai wanted to integrate. She had loved the warmth and camaraderie at the table last night, despite Gil’s dark, quiet presence.

  She rinsed her bowl out and placed it in the nearby dishwasher. After washing her hands, she quickly dried them off. Walking out into the foyer, she grabbed her green baseball cap off a wooden peg and left the house.

  The air was chilly. A lot more than she realized. Turning, Kai went back inside. As she walked through the living room, she felt Gil’s gaze on her. Refusing to look or tell him why she was back, she hurried to her room. She retrieved her new Levi’s jacket and pulled it on. Patently ignoring him, she left, glad to be away from him.

  The sky was pink on the horizon, along with a band of gold. The sun was just about to rise. She saw the light frost on the plants in the flower beds as she opened the gate and then shut it. Her breath was white vapor as she walked around the ranch house and down a gravel path toward the green barn in the distance.

  There were no cattle at the ranch yet. She’d heard Talon say something to Gil about going to look at buying a bull and thirty Hereford cows, but that was all. The ranch was quiet, as if it were still slumbering. Kai could see the amount of work ahead of everyone. Her boots crunched on the gravel as she made her way past the rusted corrals. The sky was now a pale blue. In the distance, she could see the sharp, teethlike Tetons with a thick white coat of snow on the upper half of their blue granite slopes. The song of several robins and a cheerful cardinal picked up her spirits. The farther away from Gil that she got, the happier Kai felt. He was her past. And that’s where it was going to stay.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  KAI HAD PUS
HED the big green door on the barn wide open to allow maximum light into the area. The sun came over the horizon and rays shot into the area, lighting up everything so it was easy to see the equipment.

  Trying to still her angst over Gil coming out at some point, she busied herself with her notepad and pen. Every piece of machinery in this place, including the floor, was dusty and needed a good sweeping. Each one needed a full, thorough assessment by her.

  Above her, the cooing of mourning doves soothed her tightened stomach. Kai kept glancing down the graveled slope of the barn, expecting to see Gil coming her way. The morning was near freezing and she was glad she had on thick, warm leather gloves. The cooing made her look up. She spotted a nest high in the rafters of the third floor where the doves were more than likely sitting on a clutch of eggs. She remembered the dove hunting that took place in Wyoming every September, hating it. She loved the gray doves whose beautiful sounds always filled dawn and dusk. Kai didn’t like killing anything if she could help it. Another strike against her, because her father was an avid hunter.

  Walking to the red barn, she opened the locker and carried her toolbox over to the green barn. There was a set of lockers there, and she chose one and placed the box down beside it. Opening it, Kai dragged out a few tools and had everything she needed to start the inspection on the green-and-yellow John Deere tractor. She wished she had a bucket of water, a washcloth and a dry towel to take the worst of the thick layer of dust off the big machine, but that would have to wait.

  “Find what you need?”

  Kai gasped, jerking up and whirling around. Gil stood there, the sunlight backlit around him, darkening him. “God!” she whispered, her hand flying to her throat, “you scared the hell out of me!” Kai reminded herself he was black ops and, of course, she wouldn’t hear him approach her.

  “Didn’t mean to,” Gil growled unhappily, apology in his tone.

  Heart pounding, Kai didn’t want to be this close to Gil. He was a big man, thickly muscled, hard and powerful. She saw his eyes narrow upon her and then felt a bolt of heat from her breasts down to her lower body. Damn. The man could incite her body from simmer to boil in a split second. Scowling at him, she muttered, “Yes, I have everything I need.”

  “Good. Let’s check this tractor first.”

  Alarm spread through her. “I thought I was supposed to do this on my own.” Gulping, Kai just wanted to be left alone, not have him underfoot. When she saw him stare down at her, she snapped, “I know my job. You had something else to do? Right?”

  Gil pushed up his Stetson with his gloved hand. “Did you get enough sleep last night?”

  His growly demand only made her more surly. “That’s none of your damned business!” She was breathing hard, her chest rising and falling beneath her denim jacket. His full mouth compressed into a hard line, his blue eyes glittering. She felt as if she was in combat mode with him. Well, wasn’t she?

  Gil held up his hand. “We need to talk this out, Kai.”

  Her nostrils flared with anger. “Yeah, you’re years too late!” Her hands fisted and unfisted at her sides. And, dammit, her voice was wobbling and she tried to shove down the nest of snakes in her gut crawling up to choke off her voice. “There’s nothing to talk about! You left. End of story!” Her breathing was rapid and choppy as she glared at him, hunched, as if getting ready to fight. But he wasn’t her enemy and Kai knew that. For a moment, the hardness melted in his face. His mouth softened a little as her voice grew strained with tears. Kai wasn’t going to cry! She was so angry at Gil that she wanted to slap his arrogant face. But there was no arrogance in his expression right now. His blue eyes were murky looking and it probably meant he was emotionally upset. Well, so was she!

  Gil took a step back. He closed his eyes for a moment, then lifted his head and held her mutinous glare. “I didn’t know you were hired,” he admitted wearily.

  “Yeah, and I bet if you had,” Kai said angrily, “you’d sure as hell have told Talon to pass on me. Wouldn’t you have?”

  She saw the confusion in his face. Oh, Kai knew Gil could come clean and take off that damned game face he wore the way Sam had. But where Sam couldn’t let down his game face, she knew Gil could do it. And to her surprise, he was allowing her to see him. That shook her because she didn’t expect it. Especially right now. She saw him struggling, his expression ravaged.

  “No,” he breathed in a gruff tone, “I would not have said anything to Talon. I know how good you are.”

  She straightened, throwing back her shoulders, battling tears she refused to let fall. “I’ll bet.”

  “I owe you an explanation.”

  “Ya think? Gee, Gil, it must have been one helluva shock to you to see me here, huh? I’ll bet you thought life was rosy here on the Triple H until I stepped back into the picture.” Kai jerked off her gloves and threw them down on top of her metal toolbox. “Well, I don’t like this situation any more than you do. But you know what? I earned this position here at this ranch!” She jabbed her finger down at the wooden floor. Her voice was trembling with anger. “And you aren’t going to take it away from me! I’m damned good at what I do! You just need to stay as far away from me as you can get.” She pushed her fingers through her hair, glaring at him. “I don’t intend to tell anyone about us if that’s what got you worried. You go your way. I’ll go mine. I want nothing to do with you.” Her voice cracked. “Do you understand me, Gil? Do you?”

  Gil nodded. “I’m sorry, Kai. It shouldn’t have happened. I know that now.” He gave her an apologetic look.

  “If you think I’m going to stand here and listen to why you screwed me for five days and then left me without a word, you can forget it,” Kai whispered unsteadily. “You’ve hurt me enough, Gil. I was still hurting from Sam’s death. And then you walked in, devastated, asking for my help.” Kai choked, “You used me, Gil! You bastard! You used me!”

  Wincing, Gil rubbed his jaw and his mouth tightened. “That’s not true, Kai—”

  “Get out of here, Gil. Leave me alone! I’ll do my job and I’ll do it well. You’ll have no reason to worry I’ll do anything less than that.”

  He stared at her, the whiteness in her face and the rage in her gray eyes making him wince. Gil knew better than to try to pursue any conversation with Kai right now. Hell, he deserved her rage. Every bit of it. “Okay,” he growled, “you’ll get your wish as much as possible. When I need to see you or talk with you, I will. Let’s keep it civil and we’ll just make the best of it.”

  He stalked out of the barn, the thudding of his boots echoing throughout the building.

  With a little sob, Kai turned away, a hand pressed against her mouth. She bent over, tears rushing down her drawn cheeks. She tried not to cry, but it was four years’ worth of hurt, grief and a broken heart that had built up within her. She crouched down by her toolbox, wanting to hide, her shoulders shaking violently as she sobbed into her hands, trying to stop the sounds from being heard by anyone. Her nose ran, and her tears flooded across her face. Damn Gil Hanford! The bastard knew when to take off his game face and look vulnerable. That is what had tricked her into feeling sorry for him, feeling… Oh, hell, feeling things she had felt guilty for feeling to this day.

  Sam had been dead only a year. She’d grieved deeply for him, cried often and felt torn in half by his loss. But when Gil walked in, his eyes raw with grief and with tears in them, she had opened her heart and her arms to him. Because he’d been Sam’s best friend. And Gil had turned them into lovers within two heartbeats, his mouth curving powerfully across hers, taking her, making her body suddenly bloom beneath his life-altering kiss. No one had ever kissed her like Hanford had. No one. Not even Sam…

  Kai finally dropped to her knees, rocking back on her heels, letting the flood of weeping sweep through her because she knew it was better to get it out than let it sit like a toxic waste dump inside her.

  *

  GIL TRIED TO steady his twisting emotions roaring through him. Dammit
, he’d caused Kai to cry! He’d stood at the opening of the barn, halting, turning around, wanting to go back to her and explain everything. Take the responsibility for his actions. But when he heard her softened sobs, Jesus, it felt as if the invisible claws of a bald eagle had ripped into his chest and clutched his writhing heart in its sharp talons, shredding it. And he couldn’t go back in there to hold her like she deserved. Like he wanted to. This was such a FUBAR. Rubbing his chest beneath the black leather vest he wore over his dark green cowboy shirt, Gil wavered.

  Just hearing Kai sob like a lost child, the sounds muted, almost unheard, tore him wide-open. His straight black brows drew downward and he felt miserable for her, not himself. Anything she had to dish out was his to take. Wiping his jaw, he sadly turned away, knowing that if he walked back in there to comfort her, Kai would lose it completely. The devastation in her face, the unconcealed hurt in her eyes, made him bleed.

  As he slowly walked down the slope, he searched frantically to somehow fix what he’d destroyed within Kai. She hadn’t deserved this in any way. She’d been a loyal, loving wife to his best friend, Sam. And Gil had seen the love she had for Sam in her beautiful gray eyes. And how many times had Gil ached to see her look at him that way? Rubbing his chest again because the agony bursting through his chest made him feel miserable, Gil knew what he’d done to her had been wrong. It had been utterly selfish.

  He slowed his walk, not wanting to reach the ranch house just yet, his mind and heart back in Bagram where Kai was stationed. She didn’t know how much he looked forward to seeing her when he and his Delta team came off a mission. He would always walk over to the Apache hangars, look her up and casually ask if she’d go to chow with him. He would see her eyes widen a little, a sudden smile blossom on her lips when she’d spot him. And she always was eager to go eat with him.