Won't Back Down: Won't Back Down

by Unknown

  The crowd was impatient and Cal couldn't keep still. He hadn't seen Taren yet, still hadn't been able to tell him anything. He was so anxious his stomach was in knots, and if there'd been any food in his stomach, it would have come up in its entirety.

  The other squires were all in the stands, all but Helmer, who stood across the arena, looking complacent. Finally, with a great clatter of sound, the spectators all rose to their feet as a trumpet blared, announcing the queen's arrival. Only after she was seated did everyone resume their seats. The trumpet blared again, this time announcing the duelists. Side by side, Taren and Atam approached the queen and bowed deeply.

  She waited until they had straightened and then spoke, her voice ringing out over the stands for everyone to hear. "Pray, Sir Knights, tell Us again the reason for this duel. Let the one who is making the charge be the one to speak."

  Cal's hands shook. The queen was letting Atam speak first.

  "Your Majesty," Atam began, his voice smooth as honey. "My squire, Helmer Mersebach, has charged Cal Caison, the squire of Sir Taren Veretti, with the cowardly act of dishonoring a duel. Another squire has supported this claim. The challenge of duel between myself and Sir Veretti to prove honor was issued, and this duel is the result."

  The queen was silent for so long that the crowd grew restless again, shifting and murmuring. "What timing. This happens just before We are set to choose among the best of Our knights for the role of Commander." She straightened in her seat, he gaze fixed on Atam. "What We fail to understand, Sir Dardanos, is this: if it is the honor of the squires in question, why it is not the squires who are proving said honor?"

  Dardanos blinked in surprise, and his voice faltered. "Well, Your Majesty, it's tradition."

  "Yes, and it was also tradition to only allow nobles to become knights. It used to be tradition to only allow men to rule. Some traditions need not be kept. These squires of yours. How far away from knighthood are they?" She glanced at Taren this time, giving him permission to speak.

  "Less than a year, Your Majesty."

  "High time they fought their own battles, gentlemen. Come, let Us have Cal Caison and Helmer Mersebach brought forward!"

  Cal could hardly stop shaking. He hadn't expected this at all. It was some relief to see from the expression on Helmer's face that he hadn't either. Cal approached the queen, moving to stand at Taren's side as Helmer stood by Dardanos'. He couldn't help feeling like they were all being reprimanded for fighting like children.

  Taren glanced at him briefly, worry on his face, and he rested that large hand on Cal's shoulder for reassurance.

  Queen Selvia looked first at Helmer, then at Cal. She returned her gaze to Helmer and said in a quiet and stern voice, "Squire Helmer Mersebach, please repeat to Us the charge you are making."

  Helmer's face was white, and he glanced at Sir Dardanos before speaking. "Y-yes your Majesty. M-my charge is that Squire Cal Caison cheated me during a duel we called between us to settle a personal dispute."

  The queen interrupted. "Yes We've heard twice now that this young man cheated during this duel, but not any detail as to how. So tell Us. How did he do it and were there witnesses?"

  Helmer somehow went even paler. "Your Majesty he... well he continued fighting after we'd called time to rest. He did so while my back was turned."

  "And a witness?"

  "Another squire, Your Majesty." Helmer didn't offer up a name, as though he worried that was going too far.

  "We do hope all you've said is the truth, squire. If not, We'd like you to think for a moment on the punishment for lying to the throne." She turned to Cal. "And you, Squire Caison. I suspect your story may be different, but it still had better be the truth. Enlighten Us, if you will."

  Cal had to rest one hand on the hilt of his sword just so it would stop shaking. "Your Majesty, Helmer and I have never been good friends. That is not news for anyone who knows us well. We've bickered for years over my birth and whether a peasant-born knight could truly be the equal of a noble-born knight. A few days ago we agreed to a duel to prove if that is so. I bested him fairly because I learned to fight from a knight who taught me that I didn't have to rely on brute strength. I'm not very large, as Your Majesty can see," and here Cal swore he saw the queen's mouth twitch in the slightest of smiles, "but I'm quick and resilient. It was speed that won me this duel, not cowardice."

  "And what of this witness he claims?"

  "I saw no one but Helmer, You Majesty. Either there was no witness, or there was one who bends the truth for Squire Mersebach."

  "Interesting," the queen murmured. "So it seems to Us that what's truly to be proven is whether you are as good a knight-to-be as he. Then We have a clear solution, do We not? The squires will duel. If Squire Caison has beaten Squire Mersebach once before, he can certainly do it again. If he cannot, then perhaps it will be clear he only did so through dishonorable means. With a stadium full of spectators, it's quite impossible for anyone to cheat or lie about the outcome."

  Sir Dardanos had been fuming in silence throughout the queen's speech, his face growing tighter and whiter with rage. Finally he could no longer contain himself. "But Your Majesty, they aren't prepared—"

  "Are you questioning the queen's decision, Sir Dardanos?" Queen Selvia's voice had gone cold and her penetrating gaze turned on him.

  Sir Dardanos managed to pale further, his usual, swarthy complexion gone sickly. "No. No of course not, Your Majesty."

  "Then squires, please take your places and let Us begin."

  Taren kept his hand on Cal's shoulder as they turned to walk to what was now to be Cal's starting point. "I'm sorry, Cal. I'd no idea she would do this."

  Cal shook his head. "It's all right. I'd rather fight my own battle than you fight it for me. Especially since this was my and Helmer's faults to begin with. Except—"

  "Except what?"

  "Helmer and Sir Dardanos planned this. It's not going the way they planned it, but they want to discredit us both. Dardanos wanted you stripped of your knighthood, I think. Helmer wanted me to be unable to become a knight, I'm sure. They said ... I heard them say they knew a secret of yours that they wanted to bring to the queen before she chose a new Commander." Once Cal started speaking, the words fell out of him, rushing over each other like water in a brook. "They planned to cheat during this duel. They sabotaged your horse, did things to his weapons—"

  Taren stared down at Cal in surprise. "How do you know all of this?"

  "I was in the right places at the right time to overhear the right things. But Taren, what they said they know—"

  To his surprised Taren actually flushed, his skin darkening like Nahiya's did. "Now is not the time, Cal. We'll speak on it after the duel. You must fight and you must win. You did it before. I know you can do it again. You said you thought I'd be proud if you won. Win while I am here watching, and yes, I will be proud."

  Cal couldn't help himself. Despite all that had gone on the last few days he beamed up at Taren. "I will, and I'll prove that nobility has nothing to do with skill."

  *~*~*

  The queen decreed there was no need for the horses as this was merely a duel between squires and not a joust between knights. Two men, a sword and shield apiece, and that was all. Cal stood in front of Helmer, fully dressed in his practice armor, and Helmer the same. Only when they were knighted would they receive proper armor with the Queen's arms on the glistening surcoat. For now, they fought in the same gear they practiced in every day.

  It was a comfort to Cal. He knew this armor inside and out. It was perfectly tuned to his body, his size, his strength. It was light so he could move quickly, but that also meant it was less resilient against heavy blows. He would have to rely on his ability to dodge rather than to withstand a strong attack.

  The duel started and Cal waited for Helmer to rush him. As soon as he did, Cal dodged, spinning out of the reach of Helmer's sword and delivering the fastest counter-attack he'd ever managed. Helmer stumbled and spun, recov
ering quickly. This time their swords clashed, and Helmer shoved Cal back with that enormous strength.

  Cal nearly lost his footing but managed to bounce back. Coming in close under Helmer's guard, Cal delivered a series of quick hits, but even he wasn't fast enough to get back out of Helmer's reach before that sword came crashing down.

  He went down under the oppressive weight and though Cal managed to roll to his feet before Helmer could move to a finishing blow, he felt pain down his left side. It was only when he lowered his sword and started moving sideways as he gauged Helmer's new stance that he realized he was bleeding.

  Helmer's sword had cut deep and Cal staggered. Blood drops splattered into the sand at his feet. It hurt to move his left arm so he tossed away his shield, eliciting gasps from the crowd. To them, it was a foolish move. To him, it was the only way he could win. The shield was just slowing him down, and it was speed that would win him this duel.

  Cal caught sight of Taren's worried expression before he snapped his attention back to Helmer, who was grinning again, the same way he had been when he thought he was about to win last time. This time, Cal didn't blame him for thinking that. He'd think the same in Helmer's place. Already paling, Cal moved into a new stance, one more grounded, one better suited for someone like Taren. It was a great stance for withstanding a bull rush, even though it was impossible for him to withstand one from Helmer. He had to end this now, or he'd bleed out before he could triumph.

  The grin on Helmer's face widened and he charged again, just like Cal had hoped he would. Cal stood his ground, waiting until Helmer got close and then he ducked. Shifting from the defensive stance, to a crouch, and then to an offensive move in a matter of seconds, Cal stood, using Helmer's momentum to hurl Helmer over his shoulder.

  Helmer landed heavily in the sand and Cal immediately put one foot on Helmer's chest and his sword at Helmer's neck. "Yield, Helmer. It's over."

  Helmer's face was purple with rage as he spat out his defeat, but Cal could barely hear over the roar of the crowd. It sounded strangely distant though, and things were a little blurry. He looked around for Taren and saw him rushing over. Strange how he, and then the world, went sideways. Then everything went dark.

  *~*~*

  Cal awoke to a warm hand wrapped around his. It took a moment to understand where he was and who was with him before he could focus on Taren's relieved face. "What ... what happened?"

  "You won the duel with that brilliant feint of yours. Making Helmer think you were trying to resist a charge and then, well, then you actually did faint. Too much blood loss," Taren replied, swallowing hard. He paused a moment and added, "You scared the hells out of me, Cal. You were bleeding so much."

  "I fainted? Like a court lady? Great, my reputation is ruined." Cal frowned and then glanced back at Taren as the rest of his words sank in.

  "Not so," Taren responded. "You should have heard the applause and cheers for you. Proved the queen right too, you know. By besting a noble-squire, you proved exactly what she set out to when she allowed commoners into the path to knighthood. I think she wanted you to win. She got the healers there faster than anything for you." Taren exhaled. "They weren't sure you'd ... make it."

  Cal squeezed Taren's hand, shocked at the outpouring of emotion from him. "How long was I out for?"

  "Three days. The healers said you were also underfed and need to eat more. Robust rich foods."

  Cal managed to laugh. "They want me to eat like a noble, you mean."

  Taren chuckled. "Yes, I suppose I do."

  "Wait! If it's been so long already, I must have missed the announcement of Commander. And what happened to Dardanos and Helmer?"

  Taren managed to look modest. "Well as to the former ..." He shifted and showed Cal the shiny new badge he wore. "The queen picked me. I suppose that was what Dardanos was trying to avoid. As for him, she questioned him and Helmer both and, well, let's just say they're in quite a load of trouble. I don't think the queen will be listening to what either of them have to say for a while."

  "So your secret is safe?"

  Taren didn't respond for a moment. "In a matter of speaking."

  Cal rolled his eyes. "Enough, Taren. Enough secrecy. I already know what the secret was. I know you're not a noble. You don't have to keep that from me. I don't care. You should have known that wouldn't matter to me. What mattered was you keeping secrets. Lying. Were you lying to everyone, even the queen?"

  Taren's eyes widened. "How did you know—that's not ... who told you that?"

  Cal's face fell. "I overheard it okay? So it's true, huh? You can stop with the stupid secrets and lying to me."

  "Cal. It's not like that at all. That's not what I was—well no, it is one thing I was hiding. But that's not the secret I thought Dardanos was planning to tell. Is that what he said?"

  "Yes. He said he was going to find proof and tell the queen. I get it now. He wanted to make it seem like you'd been lying to the throne. So it is true? Were you?"

  Taren shook his head. "I was raised as a noble, but not born so. My mother, a servant in the Veretti household, died in childbirth. Lord and Lady Veretti had recently lost their own son to crib death. They took me as their own since the man who sired me had died months before in an accident. It was perfect, you see. I was a baby with no parents left, and they were parents who'd lost their son. They raised me. I had all the education and upbringing of a noble, but when I was old enough to understand they told me about my parentage. It didn't change who I was becoming, who they'd taught me to be, because they weren't the sort who condescended to commoners like Dardanos and Helmer do. I had already been a page for a few years when I learned this, and I was afraid king would have been furious if he found out. But he was already getting old and Queen Selvia was making most of the court's decisions by then. She knew, Taren. My mother made certain she knew so it would never come out in a way that would disgrace me or the family."

  It was the most Taren had ever said in one sitting, and Cal refused to interrupt. He simply nodded at Taren to continue.

  "It was never really a danger, though the queen might have had to think quickly if Dardanos had managed to bring it up in a disparaging light. But if the crime was lying to her, well, no. That never happened. We still kept it secret from my peers. It was easier that way. There are few who know."

  "Lady Elleni does, doesn't she?"

  "Yes, how did you know that?" Taren smiled before Cal could answer and the expression cut off Cal's reply. "Hells, Cal, you know a great deal more about everything going on in these walls than I ever suspected."

  Cal laughed in response and paused to catch his breath. He was still a little winded. "But I don't understand. If that wasn't the secret you were worried about, what was? What else could it be about?"

  Taren dropped his gaze down to Cal's hand wrapped in his, and for the longest time, Cal thought he wouldn't answer. "It was about you, Cal."

  Cal blinked. "What about me?"

  Taren shook his head. "For six years I've been training you. I picked you, you know that? I saw you fighting with Helmer, even back then, even at fourteen you were ready to duel him. I saw so much potential in you, noble or not. It made me think you could be the knight who shows everyone noble blood and upbringing has little to do with skill and honor. So I chose you. And every day since I wondered how wise that choice was." Taren shook his head as Cal's face fell. "Wait, let me finish. I was right. About your skills, your honor, your heart, and drive. I was right about everything. But I was wrong about thinking I could keep my feelings out of it."

  Cal's eyes were saucers in his face, wide and round. They were full of disbelief and tinged with hope. "Your feelings?"

  "Feelings I have for you that are inappropriate, as your teacher and as a man. I tried, for years, to keep you from having any idea, Cal, but I can't keep it secret anymore. I understand if this means you no longer wish to train with me—"

  Cal sat upright and very nearly passed back out from the sudden rush. "Have
you gone mad? I'd never choose to stop training with you. Curses, Taren, I've spent years trying to get you to notice me like this. Years. I don't care that these feelings are inappropriate, I have them too!"

  Taren's forehead creased. "You do? Sometimes I thought you did, but then I'd see you with Elleni's girl, Nahiya. I thought you were—"

  Cal snorted. "Everyone likes to think we are. We're friends. In fact, I suspect she's got her eyes on someone else as inappropriate for her as you are for me."

  Taren stared at him, puzzled, and then it clicked. "Nahiya and Lady Elleni? That would make a great deal of sense, come to think of it."

  "Yes, yes, it would. Now can we get back to the part where you have inappropriate feelings for me?"

  Taren shook his head. "I'm already beginning to wonder if it was a mistake to finally tell you. You're likely to make my life even more complicated."

  "You know me so well," Cal agreed.

  *~*~*

  It took Cal several weeks before he was feeling back to his old self. The squires came to visit, all except Helmer and Griff, but it was Baz, with Nadir in tow, who told Cal everything that had happened to both Dardanos and Helmer. Nadir sat next to Baz, mostly silent while Baz did most of the talking, filling him in on details Taren had left out.

  "I wish you'd been able to see it, Cal. They didn't let any of us squires in, of course, but Hengen sweet-talked one of the serving girls into letting us listen in from a back room. So the queen calls Dardanos and the other knights in, right?—this big formal thing—and mermaid's tits, Cal you ain't never seen Helmer looking like he's been pissing himself for days straight. He about looked like he'd swallowed a bucketful of sh—" Baz caught himself in time, remembering that most of the staff in the healing wing were female. He continued, trying his best to clean up his language. "But Dardanos, right? He just marches right up to the queen like he still thinks he'll be able to get away with this—"

  Nadir tapped Baz's arm. "He didn't just walk in, Baz. He was escorted." He turned his gaze on Cal. "Sir Veretti and Sir Oster were standing just behind him, in case he should flee."