Behind the Secrets (Behind the Lives #4)

by Marita A. Hansen

  A hand grazed his butt as he walked through the arrivals. He glanced back to find a man following him. The man was attractive in a gruff, hardened manner, not to mention really tall. Even with L’s platform boots the man towered over him, which wasn’t a surprise, considering L was only five-foot-four, another thing that made people think he was female.

  The man reached for L’s suitcase. “Let me help you with that, love.”

  L jerked the handle away from him. “No, I’m fine thank you.”

  The man smiled wider. “You have a lovely accent. Are you Irish?”

  “No, Welsh.”

  “Well, it’s very sexy. Where are you heading to? Maybe we could catch a taxi together.”

  “I don’t—” Someone shouted his name, cutting him off. He turned, spotting his friend waving at him by a partition. Relieved to see Jade, L turned back to the tall man. “I’m sorry, but my boyfriend’s giving me a lift,” he lied.

  Looking disappointed, the man walked away. Before L could breathe, Jade bowled through everyone, launching himself at L, giving him the biggest hug.

  L laughed. “It’s nice to see you too, Jade.”

  Jade pulled back, giving L’s arms a squeeze. “You’re looking even more gorgeous than the last time I saw you. I wish you’d let me sign you to your own record deal.”

  “I’m already signed to your company.”

  “No, I meant as a singer. You’d sell millions with your gorgeous face and hair.”

  “Until they find out I have a dick.”

  “Andrej Pejic is doing well as a model, and you’re just as, or even more, beautiful than he is.”

  L patted Jade’s arm. “Ever the charmer.”

  Jade smiled wide, the man the true beauty, his black hair and Korean features picture perfect. L was usually attracted to males like Jade, pretty and safe, not the type that could hurt him. But Jade preferred masculine men, no, he preferred rough men, the type that threw a person onto the bed and tore their clothes off. L shuddered internally, the thought of someone touching him like that absolutely terrifying. He clamped down on his nerves, willing himself not to think about Ant—again.

  “I hope your trip was good,” Jade said, still smiling wide.

  “It was okay.”

  Jade patted L’s arm. “You never did like flying.”

  L looked around the terminal, knowing that wasn’t the reason, the men throwing interested glances at him behind it. His mother had taken him to a psychiatrist to help him get over his deep-seated fear of men, which had helped considerably. In the past, he used to run or tremble uncontrollably when a man came near him, but now he could have a normal conversation with them—as long as they didn’t touch him. Though, Jade was one of the very few exceptions to the rule, someone he felt completely safe with—along with Ash—the only man L would sell his soul for.

  Jade placed an arm around L’s shoulders. “Let’s get you to your new home for the next few months.”

  “You don’t have to do this, Jade, I can get a hotel.”

  “I wouldn’t hear of it, plus my house is plenty big enough. You can take the room next to Dante’s. I can’t wait to introduce you to him.”

  L nodded, not letting on that he’d already met Dante. Though, he doubted Ash’s younger brother would remember him, especially since he’d changed considerably in ten years. Dante had also been thirteen at the time, three years longer than L.

  “Let’s go,” Jade said, taking the luggage off L.

  L followed him out of the terminal, heading across a large car park, the sky above an intense blue. L had forgotten how bright the skies were in New Zealand, the colour stunning. Again, he was reminded of how beautiful the country was—only his experiences ugly.

  They stopped next to a red Ferrari. Ever the gentleman, Jade held open the door for L to get in. L slipped into the front passenger seat, waiting for Jade to finish squeezing his luggage—with difficulty, into the back.

  Once done, Jade hopped into the driver’s seat and started the engine, heading for the automated checkpoint. He clipped a paper card through the machine, then drove out of Auckland International Airport, turning left at the main intersection further down the road.

  “Just one warning about Dante,” Jade said, keeping his eyes on the road. “He had a nervous breakdown recently, so be gentle on my poor baby.”

  “Oh ... is he all right now?”

  “I guess so; otherwise the psychiatrist wouldn’t allow him to come home.”

  “Why? Where was he?”

  “At a psyche unit for a couple of weeks.”

  “He’s not dangerous, is he?” L said, now concerned.

  “Only to himself. He was abused by some nasty criminals. I thought he was handling things, but two weeks ago one of his girlfriends told him she was pregnant and he just lost it. He took a knife out of the kitchen drawer and started cutting himself.”

  L’s eyes widened. “He tried to commit suicide?”

  “No, he was cutting his legs. Luckily, I managed to get the knife off him before he could do any serious damage.”

  “And you want me in the house?”

  Jade glanced at L. “Trust me, Llewellyn, he’s not dangerous to anyone, other than himself.”

  “Still, it’s not exactly something I want to be around.”

  Jade patted L’s leg. “Don’t worry; they wouldn’t have let him out if they thought he’d do it again. Plus, I was hoping we could distract him with work. I want to get an album out as soon as possible. I wrote a few songs for him, he’s even got a couple of his own, one in particular a potential hit.”

  L remained silent as Jade continued to talk about Dante’s song, upset that Ash’s brother was still being abused after all these years, what Dante had told him ten years ago still fresh in his mind. L turned his head towards the window so Jade couldn’t see his tears. He wiped his eyes, willing the tears to stop.

  Jade patted L’s leg again. “Don’t worry; he’s a sweetheart, albeit a rude-mouthed one. It’s those women that are the problem. The tramps are always fighting over him. It’s any wonder he didn’t lose it sooner. Well, at least I got that hellcat Kara off his back for the meantime, but Beth...” He sighed.

  L glanced at Jade. “What about her?”

  “She’s the one he got pregnant. Even worse, he slept with the other one right before he found out he was going to be a father.”

  “Oh,” L said, “I thought he was your boyfriend.”

  “He is. I should’ve said exes, because they’re on their way out.”

  “But what about the pregnant one?”

  “I don’t think he wants to be with her, otherwise he wouldn’t have taken the news so badly. Also, he wouldn’t have slept with the other one if he truly loved Beth.”

  “You’re confusing me. If he’s your boyfriend, he shouldn’t be sleeping with anyone but you.”

  “It wasn’t an exclusive relationship, although I’m hoping it will be once he arrives home. I just wished I didn’t have to get Beth to pick him up. I couldn’t get hold of his brother, and my assistant was busy running errands. I really didn’t have much choice. Still, I shouldn’t be worried about Beth. Like I said, if Dante was truly happy with her, he wouldn’t have hurt himself. It’s the other one I’m concerned about. Kara is relentless. I even had to put a restraining order on her to stop her from turning up at my house. She wouldn’t stop harassing me, trying to find out where Dante went.”

  Jade continued to talk about Dante, not letting up until he stopped in his driveway, the man obviously head over heels in love with Ash’s brother. L got out of the car and went to get his luggage. Jade darted around the back of the Ferrari, stopping L from getting it out.

  “Let me take that for you,” he said, pulling L’s luggage out of the boot.

  After Jade had locked the car, L followed him to the front door. Jade ushered him inside, the place a snowstorm of white, Jade a clean-freak.

  Jade let out a shriek as they entered the lounge. �
�How did you get in here?!”

  A stunning blonde woman pushed up from the white leather couch, her breasts almost bursting out of her tight leopard-print dress, the zip running up the middle threatening to split open. “I will no longer play your stupid games, Jade,” she said, her accent Slavic. “I’m not leaving until you tell me where Dante is.”

  “I already told you: he’s in a psyche ward. Now leave, Kara, or I’ll call the police.”

  Kara’s eyes moved to L. “Who are you?”

  “Llewellyn Davies, but I go by L,” he replied, fascinated by the woman’s striking pale blue eyes, the colour mesmerising.

  “Do you know where my dragi is?”

  L shook his head, not knowing what dragi meant, other than it was to do with Dante.

  “Why are you in my dragi’s house, then?”

  “It’s my house,” Jade cut in. “And don’t answer her, Llewellyn. She has no right to be here.” He pointed to the door. “So get out, Kara.”

  Ignoring Jade, Kara walked around the couch, stopping in front of L. She was slightly taller, their heels about the same height. Though, unlike L’s lithe physique, Kara was busty, with a stunning hour-glass figure that would’ve put Marilyn Monroe to shame.

  Kara cocked her head to the side, looking like she was examining L, her intensity making him take a step back. Her gaze ran down him, pausing at his neck, chest, and crotch, before returning to his face. “Are you male or female?”

  “Both,” L answered, surprised she hadn’t automatically assumed he was female.

  Her eyebrows shot up. “You’re a hermaphrodite?”

  “Partially, but intersex is more accurate.”

  “Do you like males or females sexually?”

  “I like being alone. I’m celibate.”

  “That’s a shame.” She smiled. “You’re a fascinating creature.”

  L frowned. “Please don’t call me a creature.”

  “I didn’t mean it as an offence; English is a second language for me. I don’t always use the correct terms. And you are fascinating. What do I call you? He or she?”

  “I prefer to be called a he.” Regardless of whether he looked like one or not, he’d grown up as a male. Not only that, male pronouns made a lot of men back off, afraid their sexuality would be questioned if they pursued him.

  Kara’s eyebrows quirked up. “But you present yourself as a female.”

  “I can’t help how I look.”

  “You’re wearing lip-gloss, platform boots, and a blouse, plus you have long hair with highlights. All of that tells me it is a choice.”

  L frowned. “Men also have long hair, especially ones who play heavy metal music—like I do. My highlights are to tone down my bright orange hair and I use Chapstick because I get dry lips. I’m also wearing platforms due to being short and a loose blouse to hide my breasts, because I don’t like it when men stare at them.”

  She smiled. “I love it when men stare at my breasts, like you did before.”

  L’s face dropped.

  “Don’t look so horrified.” She cupped her enormous breasts. “I display them to be looked at, otherwise I’d cover them like you do, and I’m happy you looked, because it means you like women after all.” Her eyes moved to Jade. “Unlike him. He thinks he has a chance with my dragi.” Kara sneered. “Dante doesn’t like your arse, Jade, so keep your shit away from him.”

  “GET OUT!” Jade screamed, pointing at the door.

  Ignoring Jade, yet again, Kara turned and leaned over the couch, reaching for something. L’s eyes zeroed in as Kara’s short dress rode up, displaying a red G-string and one hell of an arse. Kara snatched up a pen off the coffee table and turned back to L, grabbing his hand. She wrote a number on it, flinging the pen at Jade once she’d finished. “Call me when you see Dante and I’ll make it worth your time, honey,” Kara stroked a hand down L’s face, giving him a wink.

  Jade charged at Kara, pushing her hand off L. “Don’t you dare touch, Llewellyn, you tramp. That’s precisely why you’re not good enough for Dante. I would never cheat on him.”

  “I wouldn’t cheat on him either,” Kara said, smiling. “He would love watching Red suck on my tits—a lot of straight men would. Plus, you forget, Jade, that Dante’s a sex addict. He needs more stimulation than the average male, and I love stimulating him.” She returned her gaze to L. “I hope to hear from you soon, honey.” She blew L a kiss, then walked off, disappearing through the doorway.

  Jade turned to L. “You are not to call her.”

  “I wasn’t going to, and why would you even think I would? I told you I’m celibate.”

  “Then why were you staring at her tits and arse?”

  “They were lovely.”

  “Lovely isn’t what I’d use to describe that horrid woman. She’s all tits and no class.”

  “She’s beautiful.”

  Jade’s eyes widened. “She’s horrible! And I thought you didn’t like strangers touching you. Yet, you let her caress your face.”

  “I don’t like men touching me. Women are an entirely different matter.”

  Jade scowled at him. “Just don’t call her.”

  L placed his hands on Jade’s shoulders, giving them a massage. “Relax, Jade. Just because I found her attractive doesn’t mean I want to go near her again. Plus, she probably only flirted with me to get at Dante.”

  Jade breathed out. “True, I didn’t think of that. She just rattles me, much more than Beth. You can see why it’s hard for Dante to resist her, especially with her tits bursting out like that.”

  “I did notice.”

  “So, you really like breasts?”

  “On beautiful women, I do.”

  “I never thought you liked women, I always thought you preferred men.” He smiled. “I did notice you like looking at me.”

  L smacked Jade’s arm. “Arrogance doesn’t become you, Jade.”

  Jade smiled wider, no longer looking tense. “So, does that mean you’re bi?”

  “It means I’m celibate.”

  “Stop skirting the question.”

  L exhaled loudly. “If you must know, I’m attracted to beautiful people, regardless of what gender they are.”

  “Dante’s beautiful. Don’t you dare be attracted to him.”

  “You really are insecure.”

  Jade scowled. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”

  “Then stop acting that way.”

  Jade breathed out. “I usually don’t, Dante just makes me question myself constantly.” He placed a hand on L’s arm. “Anyway, you must be tired. Let’s get you into bed.”

  L grinned. “I’m not your type.”

  A smile broke through Jade’s sad expression. “I meant for you to sleep, you dirty-minded man.”

  “Again, I’m celibate.”

  “That doesn’t stop you from dreaming about me.”

  L shook his head. “Just show me my bedroom, Mr. Arrogant.”

  Smiling, Jade indicated to the staircase. “Take the second one on the right; I’ll wake you up in time for dinner.”

  “Thanks.” L gave him a peck on the cheek, then headed up the staircase with his carry bag, leaving his suitcase downstairs. He entered the room and went straight for the ensuite, aching for a hot shower. Once he was clean, he headed back into the bedroom and flopped onto the bed, falling asleep within seconds.

  ***

  A large body lay on top of L, kissing him, smothering him, fucking him... L’s eyes shot open, desperate to get Ant off him. Only empty air greeted him, Ant not there. Breathing heavily, L looked around the semi-dark bedroom, a dull light seeping through the thin curtains. Again, no one was there, just L and his fears, the vestiges of his nightmare finally dwindling away. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, L pushed out of bed and unzipped his bag, looking for a clean pair of pants to put on. He frowned, unable to find any, the majority of his clothes in the suitcase downstairs. He pulled out some clean underwear and slipped them on, along with
a flouncy white blouse and a leather vest, wondering whether he should wear his pants from the flight. No, it was just Jade home, and anyway, the blouse was long enough to cover his behind, which he knew Jade wouldn’t be interested in, since he looked too much like a girl. Gay men never hit on him, only the heteros showing interest.

  L opened the door and headed towards the staircase, stopping as another door opened behind him. He looked over his shoulder, doing a double-take as a drop-dead gorgeous man stepped out of a room, wearing black leather pants and nothing else, his muscular body mouth-watering. He had colourful tattoos covering both arms and a darker one around his left eye—a stylised Maori design made up of koru-like curves. He had his eyes closed and was yawning, his messy black hair making him look like he’d just gotten out of bed. L remained frozen to the spot, caught in the stunning glare of the man’s beauty.

  The man opened his eyes, jolting at L’s presence. L felt his cheeks flush, hoping his face wasn’t turning splotchy. Whenever he was embarrassed, the nasty colour spread up his neck and hit his face, resembling a raspberry-splattered whiteboard.

  “Who are you?” the man asked with a South Auckland accent.

  “L,” he replied, barely getting his name out, the man’s hair and model-perfect face resembling Ash Rata. Although L hadn’t seen Ash in ten years, he’d kept a picture of him, one he liked to look at often. He went to ask if the man was Ash, but stopped himself, realising a second later it must be Ash’s brother, since Dante lived with Jade.

  Dante’s eyes lowered down L’s body, making his flush deepen. “Why are you in my home?”

  “I’m your guitarist.”

  Dante looked back up. “But that’s a bloke.”

  L chewed his bottom lip. Dante’s eyes zeroed in on his mouth. L instantly stopped chewing, Dante making him feel self-conscious.

  Dante raised an eyebrow. “Well? Are you gonna answer me, gorgeous?”

  L’s mouth went dry at the last word.

  A smile quirked the corner of Dante’s mouth. “This is a joke, isn’t it? One of my mates sent you as a welcome home fuck. Well, sorry, love, I’m not allowed to fuck cos the last time I did I fucked up real bad.” His eyes lowered down L again. “And you better put on some pants, sweetheart, cos you’re making me hard, and I don’t like gettin’ blue-balls.”