“No, I want it just as much as he does. What should I do?”
“Tell Corey that you should just be friends.”
“But I want more from him. He’s so cute. I like having sex with him, no, I love it.”
“Well, you shouldn’t.” She squeezed his hand. “You should come to church with me. My priest will make you understand, he’ll help you.”
“But what will Corey say?”
“If he loves you, then he’ll understand. You should be with a woman, not Corey. You can’t marry a guy.”
“Corey said we can in Spain.”
“This isn’t Spain, so get that thought outta your head. Just promise me you’ll make Corey stop treating you like a boyfriend.”
“But, I don’t want to.”
“Sledge, you hafta, it’s the right thing to do. Plus, you got that blonde girl pregnant. You should be with her, not Corey.”
“What blonde girl?”
“Don’t you remember Stella?”
Sledge shook his head.
“Didn’t she visit you at all?”
“No, only Corey, your mum, Solomon, and my family visited. I’m gonna be a dad?”
“Yes. Do ya want me to contact her for you? I know she’s not your girlfriend, but she could be if you weren’t with Corey. You can marry her and be with your baby. After all, you need to take responsibility for your actions.”
Letting go of Beth’s hand, Sledge pushed up into a sitting position. “Corey didn’t tell me ’bout her.”
“Cos he’s selfish. He wants to keep you to himself. But you have a right to be with your child.”
“Has she had the baby yet?”
“No, but she’s more pregnant than me. I saw her in the mall the other day.”
“Do you have her number?”
“No, but I can get it for you. Actually, I’ll call and tell her you’re now staying here.”
“Thanks. It’ll be cool to have a kid. I want a boy, so I can make his life fun, unlike what my dad did for me. He really wuz a shit dad.” Sledge’s eyes widened. “Hey! I remember him now. He pretended to be my cousin while Ash and Dante’s parents looked after me and my sis.” His face fell. “That means Ash and Dante aren’t my real brothers, only my cousins.” His face dropped further, Sledge looking devastated.
Beth took hold of his hand again. “No, they are your brothers, maybe not by blood, but in heart. Dante would be upset if he heard you say differently. He loves you a lot.”
Sledge remained silent, his memory obviously hurting him.
Beth squeezed his hand. “Dante and Ash love you, so don’t take this memory so hard. If you want, I’ll see if Dante can visit when he’s feeling better.”
“Why? What’s wrong with him?”
“He banged his head,” Beth said, not wanting to alarm Sledge.
“Okay, when he’s better, get him to come here. I miss him. He hasn’t visited me for a while.”
“Sure, and do you wanna come with me to church?”
“Am I religious?”
“You could be, plus the priest at my parish is really nice.”
“Okay.”
She smiled at him. “Good, and remember, if Corey asks for anything vile, tell him you two should just be friends.”
Sledge breathed out. “I don’t know if I can, I love him too much.”
“Just try for me, will you? It’s the right thing to do.”
“I can try; I just don’t understand why it’s so wrong to want him.”
“Cos it’s against God’s law, so try your best to resist him.”
Sledge frowned. “Will it make us happier?”
“Maybe not at first, but in the long run it’s for the best.”
“Okay, I’ll try, and thanks for lettin’ me have your room. Sorry ’bout what I did to your toy, Corey told me to.”
“What toy?”
Sledge looked around the room. “Hey! Where’s it gone?”
She patted his arm. “Don’t worry ’bout it.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She leaned over and gave him a hug.
He hugged her back.
Beth kissed his head, thinking Sledge had become a lot sweeter since he’d been shot. “How ’bout you get some sleep, you look tired.”
Sledge nodded. “I do feel tired. My medication is shit.”
“Then sleep. You’ll feel better for it.” She pushed to her feet and went for the door, opening it.
“Beth.”
She turned back. “Yes.”
“Thanks for listening to me. No one listens to me for long without yelling or telling me off. It wuz nice to speak without someone gettin’ upset with me.”
“You’re welcome, and if Corey ever tells you off for anything, tell him to leave you alone. He’s too opinionated. He needs to think of your feelings, not only his.”
Sledge smiled. “I will.”
Beth smiled back. “Now rest, I’ll see ya later.”
Sledge nodded and lay down. Beth slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her, feeling proud that she’d set Sledge on the right path. She wouldn’t put it past her brother to trick Sledge into a relationship, especially since Dante’s brother wasn’t all there.
Voices came from the lounge, stopping Beth in her tracks, one of them Corey, the other...
Saul.
She breathed in sharply, shocked he was here. But how did he know she would be at her parents’? Maybe he’d assumed she’d come here after he’d heard Josie kick her out. She wondered whether he was asking Corey about her. She inched cautiously down the passage, needing to know. Peeking around the door, she spotted Saul sitting on the couch, facing away from her. He was talking to Corey, blocking her view of her brother.
“You have to take the stand,” Saul said.
“No I don’t,” Corey answered. “Nike’s testifying for me.”
“Nike wasn’t there when Ant assaulted you or took those nude photos.”
“I still can’t testify; I’ll stuff up.”
“You’ll do fine.”
“No I won’t! Please don’t make me do this, I can’t face Ant, and if I take the stand, they’ll ask ’bout what he did to me. I can’t say that in front of everyone.”
“That’s not your fault, it’s his.”
Beth fisted her hands, Saul’s hypocrisy getting to her. He was just as bad as Ant, the both of them deserving to be in jail.
Saul continued, “There’s no way round it, Corey, you have to do this. Not only that, there’s a risk of Ant getting off on a loophole if you don’t testify, and you know what he’ll do if he gets out: he’ll be coming for you.”
“He held me at gunpoint; you and Nike both saw that! How can they not use your testimonies against him?”
“He claims he was protecting you from us.”
“That’s a lie! He kidnapped me and broke my foot.”
“He said that was an accident, and without you countering him, he’ll get away with it.”
“But you’re a cop; the jury should believe you over him.”
“Ant’s lawyers will dredge up all the things I had to do while undercover. It’ll weaken my testimony considerably. My superior has already warned me that they’re considering putting me under investigation. Not only that, Ant has the best lawyers who’ll rip mine and Nike’s testimonies apart.”
“What ’bout Dante? He can testify; Ant assaulted him too.”
“Dante just got out of a mental institute. His testimony will probably do more damage than good. Not only that, he has a record longer than the New York Marathon. The only person who can bring Ant down is you. We can get him on kidnap charges as well as sexual assault, along with those pornographic images he took of you. Your friend Tyler is even willing to back up your story about you being drugged. But he will only do it if you take the stand, because he’s just as scared as you are. Without your help the case is considerably weakened. Ant will probably get off on technicalities, then you better run
, because, as I said before, he’ll come after you.”
Corey started crying.
Saul reached out. “Don’t cry, you’ll do fine up there.”
“I still can’t do it, he’ll hurt...” Corey stopped talking.
“He’ll hurt who?”
“No one, he’s just scary.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me, Corey?”
“No.”
“You’re lying, so tell me the truth.”
“I can’t!”
“Has he contacted you?”
Corey went quiet.
“Corey, answer me.”
“Yes,” Corey sobbed, “but you hafta keep it a secret or he’ll order a hit on my family.”
“I can put them into a witness protection program until the trial.”
“We’re in New Zealand! It’s not big enough to hide from him. The best thing is for me to keep my mouth shut. You also hafta leave my house. I don’t want him finding out I’ve been talkin’ to you.”
“I’ll still ask for protection, because if he gets free, you know he’ll come after you.”
“Stop sayin’ that!”
“Only once you get it into your stubborn head you have to do this.”
“I don’t hafta do anything! Just get out! Get out!”
Saul pushed to his feet. “Okay, but I’m not letting up on this. I’ll go sort out some witness protection for your family, because, Corey, you will testify against Ant. I’m not letting you risk everything because you’re too scared to face up to him. It’s going to happen whether you like it or not. I’ll even get you subpoenaed if I have to.” He turned and exited the house, closing the door behind him.
Beth’s gaze shifted back to Corey, who had his hands over his face, sobbing his heart out. Her chest constricted, pain shooting through it at her brother’s anguish. Guilt also hit her, especially since she’d accused Corey of wanting what Ant had done to him. She was just as bad as Josie, causing Corey pain like Josie had caused her.
She emerged from the passageway and went to Corey, sitting down next to him. He uncovered his face and looked up at her, his sweet face shiny with tears, his hazel eyes paling to an olive green. She placed her arms around him and pulled him to her chest. Instead of fighting her, he snuggled in closer and continued sobbing. Beth ran her hand up and down his back, wanting to make him feel better, their fight no longer important.
20
Saul
Saul got into his car and backed out, stopping as a station wagon turned into the Connors’s driveway, blocking his exit. He went to tell them to move, but stopped as a woman poked her head out of the driver’s side, indicating for him to shift to the right. He stared at her for a moment, taken aback by how much she looked like Beth. No, she was even more beautiful, just older.
“Are you going to move?” she asked, looking perplexed.
He pulled his head back in and steered to the right, putting his car into park next to the wooden fence. The station wagon drove forward, parking next to his unmarked police car. He waited in his seat as the woman got out and walked around to his door. She was dressed in blue scrubs, with a white cardigan over top, giving him the impression she was either a doctor or a nurse.
She leaned down and looked through the window at him. “Who are you? And why are you leaving my home?”
Saul stared up at her, not realising that Beth had an older sister. He’d thought Beth was stunning, but her sister was even better-looking. Like Beth, she had long black hair, hazel eyes, and soft caramel skin, but with a curvier figure, her bust a lot bigger. She also exuded confidence, her body language commanding him to answer her, unlike Beth, who always looked fearful.
The woman smiled at him, a knowing glint in her eye telling him she knew he found her attractive, which was an understatement. “Cat got your tongue?” she said.
“Ah ... I’m a police officer.”
Her smile dropped, worry now clouding her hazel eyes. “Is this about Samuel? Have you found him?”
“Samuel?”
“My son. His nickname’s Naf. He’s been missing for almost two months.”
Saul’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re Beth’s mother?” he asked, thinking she looked way too young to have a twenty-four-year old daughter.
She nodded. “So, tell me what’s going on.”
Saul stared at her, totally taken aback, the woman definitely not looking old enough to be Beth’s mother.
“Please, just tell me,” she said, her eyes misting up. “Is it to do with Samuel?”
“No, it’s to do with the Torres case. I’m the undercover officer who helped bring him down. I spoke to you over the phone the other day.”
Her face lit up. “Oh! You’re Saul! You saved my kids!” She yanked open his door and grabbed him, giving him the biggest hug.
Saul held his hands out, shocked at what she was doing.
“I can’t thank you enough for what you did.” She let go and indicated to the house. “Come in for a cup of tea and a chat.”
“Sorry, I can’t, I have to arrange some protection for your family,” Saul said, still taken aback she was Beth’s mother.
“Whatever for?” she asked, her expression concerned once more.
“Corey told me that Ant Torres has been threatening to hurt your family if he testifies.”
Her face dropped. “Is that why he’s so scared to take the stand?”
“Yes, which is why I need to go sort out some protection for you. We may have to put you in a witness protection program until the trial.”
“But that’s over six months away. Both my husband and I work. Why can’t you just put a police car outside our house?”
“I’ll talk to my superior and see what I can do, but my suggestion is to relocate your family.”
She ran her fingers through her hair, looking distressed, making Saul feel bad for upsetting her, but it wasn’t his doing, this one was all on Ant.
“I’m really sorry, Mrs. Connor,” he said. “I know this must be a shock, but if this threat is as real as I think it is, you will need that protection.”
She remained silent, probably still processing his news.
“I have to go,” he added. “I’ll call you once I’ve spoken with my superior.”
She nodded.
He reached out and touched her hand. “It’ll be all right, I’ll make sure of it.”
She took hold of his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, I really appreciate all you’ve done.” She let go and ran up the driveway.
Saul watched her disappear inside the house, feeling sick over her thanks. He glanced up at the rear-view mirror, seeing a hypocrite staring back at him, someone who was meant to protect, yet had committed one of the worst crimes there was.
He started up the engine, knowing he couldn’t live with his secret anymore. He didn’t deserve praise and thanks, he deserved scorn and a trial. He was as bad as Ant, and he needed to finally pay for it.
He backed out of the driveway, intent on turning himself in.
***
“No!” Sarah was standing in Saul’s office, staring at him in horror. He’d told her what he was going to do, so she didn’t get blindsided when he was arrested. But now he was regretting it, his friend’s reaction more than he could handle.
She grabbed his arms, giving him a shake. “You can’t do this, Saul! You’ll go to prison. You know what they do to cops in there.”
Saul pulled free. “You shouldn’t care what happens to me, I sexually assaulted a woman. I deserve to be punished.”
“I still can’t believe you’d do something like that,” she said, looking close to tears. “You’re a good man; there must’ve been some sort of misunderstanding. Did you think she wanted what you did? Maybe there was a miscommunication.”
“Only on my side. I closed my eyes and ears to what she wanted, too blinded by lust. I need to take responsibility for that and you shouldn’t defend me. You’ve seen the outcome of sexual abuse and rape,
so don’t try to dismiss what I did. I’m just as bad and disgusting as those men I’ve put away. No, I’m worse, because I was meant to protect her.”
“But if you didn’t realise—”
“It doesn’t matter! She didn’t want what I did, so stop looking for excuses. I’m the perp, not the victim here.”
“If you turn yourself in it’ll ruin your life. I care too much to see that happen.”
“I could’ve ruined Beth Connor’s life with my actions; I don’t deserve your consideration.”
“Can’t you speak to her? Make her see you didn’t mean to hurt her, that it was a misunderstanding.”
“I penetrated her with my fingers. That wasn’t a misunderstanding!”
Sarah went quiet, a single tear running down her cheek.
He exhaled loudly, feeling guilty for involving her. “I’m sorry, Sarah, you just have to understand I need to do this. It’s the right thing to do.”
“You’re going to die in prison if you do. The perps you put away will come after you as soon as they hear you’re inside.”
“I can take care of myself. I survived working for Craven, I survived Afghanistan, I even survived the cartel, and I’ll survive this too.”
“You almost died from that cartel assignment, those scars on your back—”
“Are a reminder of completing a successful job, where I did what was needed, but didn’t take what wasn’t—unlike with Beth.”
“Saul,” she breathed out. “You’re family to me, which means you won’t be the only one taking that prison sentence. I may not be prosecuted, but seeing you stripped of everything you love and thrown into jail will be a sentence in itself.”
“I joined the force to do good not harm. If I don’t do this, I won’t be able to live with myself.”
“I’d rather you be guilt ridden, than dead.”
“I’ll be put in a secure unit, away from the gen pop.”
“They can still get to you, plus you’re not the only one who’s done wrong while undercover. Christ! What I did still plagues me.”
“You shouldn’t feel any guilt; you sacrificed your own happiness for the job.”
“I betrayed the man I loved! Still love! How can I not feel guilty over that? It doesn’t matter whether he was a criminal or not, I should’ve done more for him. It kills me every fucking day, but I live with it, like you have to live with what you did.”
Behind the Secrets (Behind the Lives #4) Page 22
