“I will live with it—in jail, because no matter what you say, I am going to turn myself in.”
Sarah placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll support you no matter what, you know that, but please, think about this long and hard before you take it to Joseph.”
“It’s all I’ve thought about since that day.” He stepped around her, intent on seeing Joseph right now.
“Saul.”
He stopped at the door and looked back at his friend.
She breathed out, the sound shaky. “If you end up in prison, I’ll do my upmost to make sure you’re protected on the inside.”
He nodded. “Thank you.” He headed out of his office, stopping in front of his boss’s door. He knocked, knowing this was it—the end, because there was no coming back from what he was going to say.
Joseph called out, “Enter!”
Saul opened the door and slipped inside, his career and freedom soon to be gone.
21
Dante
Dante felt hands massaging his shoulders, kneading his tight muscles. Half-asleep, he tilted his head back, enjoying the massage, his shoulders needing it.
“You’re so tense,” Jade said. “You should go lie down on your bed and I’ll give you a full massage.”
Dante’s eyes shot open. He glanced back, finding Jade standing behind the couch, massaging his shoulders. Dante bolted off the couch, angry that Jade was touching him again. “Why can’t you keep your bloody hands offa me?” he snapped, glaring at him. When he’d sat down to watch the porno, no one else had been home, both Jade and L saying they wouldn’t be back until late. His eyes moved to the TV, which was now off, Jade obviously not appreciating the girl-on-girl action.
“I was just massaging you,” Jade said. “You looked stiff.”
“My cock ain’t stiff for you, so fuck off,” Dante spat, heading around the couch.
Jade followed him out of the lounge. “You know I didn’t mean that. Why do you have to be so rude?”
Ignoring him, Dante took to the staircase.
“Dante!”
Dante stopped at the top and glared down at Jade. “What?!”
“I wish you wouldn’t act like this around me, making out that my touch is repulsive. It hurts me.”
“Then you shouldn’t touch me without permission.”
“I can’t help it, I care for you; you’re not just an employee to me, you’re so much more, and I didn’t cross any boundaries, you were fully clothed and it was only a massage.”
“Maybe I’d believe you if you didn’t tell everyone I wuz your bloody boyfriend. Don’t go speaking shit ’bout me, or I will move out.”
Jade grimaced. “You don’t have to be so cruel.”
“I’m not bein’ cruel, I’m tellin’ ya like it us. Just move onto someone who wants your small dick.”
“Dante!”
“And tight arse. There you go, I can be nice.”
A slight smile broke through Jade’s upset expression. “You think I have a tight arse?”
“Yeah, it’s just not my taste since there’s a cock in front of it.”
“But you came.”
“I wuz drunk, you paid me, I did the job, now stop talkin’ ’bout it, you’ll scar me.”
“Why do you have to make out it was terrible. People say I’m beautiful, why can’t you see that too?”
“Cos I’m only attracted to females.”
“Llewellyn’s not a female, yet you keep staring at him.”
“She looks like one.”
“What if I dress up like a female? I can stuff a bra and wear a wig, along with some makeup.”
“You told me you didn’t like doin’ that shit.”
“I’ll try anything for you. I’ll even strap myself up down below so you’ll see nothing.”
“I still can’t have a relationship with a man, it won’t work out.”
“You could at least try.”
“Why? I’m not attracted to you. I really should move out, cos this isn’t doin’ either of us any good.”
“No! I’ll back off, I won’t bug you again.”
“Good, cos I do like you as a mate. If we can keep shit platonic, we’ll have no problems.”
Jade nodded, although his eyes said differently, the dude obviously not able to let things go. Sighing, Dante turned to his room, stopping as the neighbouring door opened. L stepped out, wearing black leggings and a flouncy blouse, which was obviously not warm enough, because her nipples could poke out his eyeballs if he got too close. Dante’s cock twitched, finding L a hundred times more arousing than the lame porn he’d fallen asleep to.
L made a coughing sound.
Dante’s gaze rose to her face, which was flushed red. Dante grimaced, realising he’d checked her out unintentionally. But it was hard not to, the chick was so fucking fine.
“Sorry,” he said, thinking he was living in a freak show, where guys looked like hot chicks and gay dudes wanted his cock in places the sun didn’t shine.
He slipped inside his room and locked the door. His gaze dropped to his cock, which was now hard, L to blame. He swore, needing the opposite of Viagra, because he was sick of always being horny. The psychiatrist had told him his out of control sex drive was largely due to his bipolar disorder. She’d given him something to keep it in check, but the damn pills had made him too sleepy, so he’d stopped taking them. Then bam, he was fucking horny all the time again, like a crazed dog in heat.
He removed his shirt and kicked off his pants, stripping bare. Grabbing the used towel off the floor, he lay down on his bed and started jacking off. Wanting to get rid of his hard-on faster, he imagined fucking L’s tits, sliding his cock between her pert mounds. He grimaced, his hand not convincing enough, his bastard cock wanting the real deal, or even better, red hot pussy, like he imagined L would have.
Closing his eyes, he imagined spreading her legs and fucking her ginger cunt, taking her hard. Then he would push her tits together, sucking on both, before biting down on her nipples, making her scream out his name. He yelled out, coming at the thought, his cum shooting over his chest and stomach, even hitting his fucking neck, the orgasm more intense than normal—just short-lived, like someone had flicked the switch off without consulting his cock.
Scowling, he wiped himself off, the aftermath a right bitch lately. Although his orgasms were getting stronger, once they were finished it felt like he hadn’t come. Even worse, that was when the guilt kicked him in the nuts, since he was usually thinking about another chick. But he was getting nothing from Beth, not even a blowjob, and it wasn’t like he was fucking L for real, which would never happen, because the chick was a bona fide prude. Not only that, he didn’t love her, like he did Beth ... and Kara. He swore, wishing he could fucking stop thinking about that bunny-boiler. But what he wanted was never what he got, which was Kara, because in all truth, he knew he wanted her more than Beth.
Swinging his legs out of bed, he swiped his phone off the side cabinet, needing to find out where Kara had disappeared to. He’d heard that the police had released her; he just didn’t know where she’d gone to... He swore again, realising he was thinking about Kara when he should be thinking about the mother of his child.
Needing to focus on Beth, he dialled her number, getting an automated message saying it was no longer in use. He phoned again, thinking he’d dialled the wrong number, but again, he got the same message. He tried her landline, getting the answer phone. He left a message, telling her to call him back, and that there was something wrong with her mobile, then headed for the shower. After a quick rinse off, he grabbed the towel hanging over the shower and got out, freezing at the sight of Kara. She was sitting on the floor, in the far corner of the bathroom, with her knees to her chest, watching him.
“What the fuck?!” he snapped, freaked out. “How’d you get in ’ere?”
She dropped her head, hiding her face in her knees.
Wrapping the towel around his hips, he walked over to her.
“You’re acting like a stalker again.”
Her head whipped up. “I am not! All I want are answers.” She pushed to her feet. “You say you love me and that you want to be with me, then you leave me high and dry, disappearing without even giving me a reason why.”
“You already know I wuz in the loony bin. I lost it after Beth told me she wuz pregnant, and don’t you dare attack me again. You almost fuckin’ killed me, you psycho bitch.”
She covered her face, her hands shaking.
“Fuck! Why are you cryin’? You attacked me; I have a right to be pissed.”
She continued crying, which was unlike Kara, the woman usually tough.
He grimaced, feeling guilty in spite of what she’d done to him. “Okay, I admit I shouldn’t have dumped you, and if things went the way I’d planned, I wouldn’t have. But Beth’s pregnant with my kid. For once in my damn life, I hafta do the right thing.”
She dropped her hands. “You’re not doing the right thing. You just said if she wasn’t pregnant you’d be with me.”
“Regardless, I still love her.”
Kara screwed up her face, her expression anguished. “But you’re still choosing her because of the child.”
He breathed out, nodding a second later.
“So, if I was pregnant you’d choose me over her?”
He nodded again, feeling like shit for hurting her.
“I wish I’d told you I was pregnant when Beth did.”
“There would’ve been no use in lying, I would’ve found out the truth eventually.”
“I wouldn’t have been lying.”
Dante jerked his head back. “What?”
“I only just found out.”
His stomach dropped. “You’re pregnant too?”
“Was. I had a miscarriage this morning.” She covered her face again, sobbing into her hands.
“Jesus, I’m so sorry.” He moved forward and wrapped his arms around her.
She leaned her head against his chest. “I wanted your baby so bad. I used to dream of having mini versions of you and me running around the house.” She let out a pained laugh. “They would’ve been little devils, causing us so much trouble, and I would’ve loved every minute of it.”
Without warning, her legs gave out, Kara almost slipping out of his grasp. Dante picked her up and carried her to his bed. He lay her down and covered her with a blanket, where she curled up into a ball, crying into his pillow.
He snatched up his pants and jumped into them. “You stay here,” he said, zipping himself up. “Get some sleep while I go sort things out for you.”
She didn’t reply, only her sobs leaving her lips.
He bent down and kissed her head. “I love you.” Without another word, he headed out of the room, quickly descending the staircase, needing to tell Jade that Kara was staying for the time being. He went into the lounge, finding Jade talking to L on the couch.
Dante zeroed in on Jade. “Kara’s in my bed.”
Looking horrified, Jade jumped up and pulled out his phone. “I’ll call the police.”
Dante snatched the phone out of Jade’s hand. “No, she stays.”
“Like hell she will! She assaulted you.”
“I don’t fuckin’ care what she did to me! She stays!”
“But Dante—”
Dante pointed a finger at him. “Don’t say another fuckin’ word, or I’ll go upstairs and pick her up and walk outta here. And if I do that, you’ll never see me again. I’ll be done with you and that contract you think gives you a right over me.”
Jade’s face dropped. “But you’re with Beth.”
“All I care ’bout right now is the grief stricken woman in my bed. She just lost a child, so don’t you dare go near her.”
“She had a child?”
“She miscarried it.”
“I didn’t know she was pregnant.”
“She didn’t either until this morning—after she’d lost it. So, have some compassion and leave her be.”
“I wouldn’t put it past that woman to lie.”
Dante grabbed Jade by the shirt and yanked him to him. “She didn’t lie! And don’t you fuckin’ dare say that again.” He shoved him back.
Jade straightened himself, looking flustered and lost for words. Dante’s eyes moved to L, as the chick went to Jade. She pulled Jade to her, her green eyes hard on Dante. “Don’t touch him like that again,” she said, her voice soft, but firm. “All he’s done is try to help you. If you’re not happy with things, go elsewhere.”
“Maybe I will.”
“No!” Jade said, pulling free from L. “I promise I won’t go near Kara.”
L turned to Jade. “I know how much you care for him, I understand that, I feel the same way about his brother, but I also know Ash doesn’t want me. He will never want me, and Dante’s the same with you. You need to accept that, like I’ve accepted my lot.”
“But I love him.”
“Like I love Ash. But if you love somebody, you need to let them choose who they want to be with, no matter how much it hurts.”
Dante blinked at L, not realising the chick loved his bro.
L turned her glare back on Dante. “And you need to show some compassion for Jade’s feelings. Of course you have to tell him you’re not interested, but stop doing it so cruelly. If you expect compassion, you need to give it in return, because right now, I’m getting rather sick and tired of seeing Jade look heartbroken every time you put him down.”
Dante blinked at the chick again, thinking she had bigger balls than he’d given her credit for.
“So, are you going to be nicer to Jade now?” she asked.
Dante’s gaze moved to Jade, who had watery eyes and a heartbroken expression. Dante grimaced, not realising how much he was hurting Jade, the man having done a lot for him. “I’m sorry; I fuck up all the time, I’m a straight-up cunt. You’re not. Just let Kara be and I’ll try to tone down my bastard ways and be nicer to you.”
Jade wiped his eyes. “I’ll stay out of her way, just don’t leave.”
“Maybe it’ll be better for you if I did.”
“No, it won’t.”
“It pro’bly would. If you didn’t see me every day you could move onto someone else, but with me here, it’s not doin’ you any good, mate.”
“Just stay for the time being. Please.”
Dante breathed out. “I can stay until we finish the album, but after that, I really should move out.”
“After the album’s completed, you’ll be touring. I won’t be able to come with you during that time. Maybe it’ll give you the break you need from me, then you can come back and we can start afresh, because this is your home too. I don’t want to run you out of it.”
Dante smiled at Jade. “Fuck, man, you really are too nice for me. I hope you find someone good.”
Jade went to say something, but shut his mouth. “I have to go.” He ran out of the room, looking like he couldn’t get away fast enough.
“Thank you,” L said.
Dante turned to L. “No, thank you for puttin’ me in my place. You’ve got balls.”
L smiled. “I know.”
Dante looked down at L’s crotch, her long blouse hiding the view. “That’s yet to be confirmed.”
“You use sexual innuendo a lot.”
Dante looked back up. “So?”
“You’re not just about sex, Dante. What happened to that sweet boy I spoke to ten years ago?”
Dante sniffed. “You can’t seriously expect me to stay the same age, and I wuz never sweet. I wuz a li’l hornbag back then, like I’m a big hornbag now.”
“No, you were sweet. It’s sad to see you like this.”
Dante scowled at her. “Are you callin’ me a loser?”
L shook her head. “No, I’m calling you unhappy. You weren’t happy back then either, but you’re even worse now. You should get away like I did, go someplace secluded, where there isn’t anyone to bother you, because, Dante, no matter wh
ere you are, people will bother you.”
“Why?”
“You’re ridiculously good-looking and exude so much sex appeal you make pornos look like teacher training videos. That’s why people throw themselves at you. Get away, take a break, because I know how it feels when things become too much to handle.”
Dante frowned. “Do you get people throwing themselves at you, too?”
“Yes. It’s why I avoid public places. Men constantly hit on me, while back in high school young girls followed me around, treating me like a pop star. Then there was this one boy...” L breathed out. “No matter what I did, he wouldn’t leave me alone. He’s the reason I left New Zealand.”
“Who wuz it?”
“Anthony Torres.”
Dante’s eyes widened. “That motherfucker!” He clenched his hands, rage rushing through him. “That bastard hurts everyone he goes near.”
“He didn’t just hurt me; he raped me—multiple times.”
“He what?!”
“I know it may seem strange to say it outright, since people hide that sort of thing, but I don’t keep secrets, not anymore, especially since I almost died trying to hide what happened to me in high school. What about you? How many secrets do you have?”
“Too many to mention.”
“Which is why your psyche is being eaten away.”
“Are you some kind of new-age freak?”
“No, I’m a survivor. Not a strong one, but someone who copes the only way I know how. Jade told me that Ant hurt you too. How do you cope with it?”
“He didn’t rape me, so my situation is different from yours.”
“What’d he do?”
“He tried to, but I fought back. Though, the twisted fuck managed to grab my junk, but then again, I’ve had a lot of people grab my junk, so I’ll be fine.”
“How can you say that?”
“Cos I’ve had a helluva lot worse done to me than that prick gettin’ a grope in.” Dante’s mind went back ten years, another person wanting to do the same as Ant, but succeeding. The memory slipped away, not allowing him to see who it was.
Behind the Secrets (Behind the Lives #4) Page 23
