Behind the Secrets (Behind the Lives #4)

by Marita A. Hansen

  Then Beth had run onto the road.

  Dante had screamed a warning, but it was too late. The car hit Beth, flinging her backwards like a ragdoll, Corey’s sister hitting the road hard. The car spun around, barely missing hitting her again. Burnt rubber wafted up into the air as the car turned a full circle, stopping a few feet away from Beth, who was lying on the ground, her right leg at an odd angle.

  Dante ran for her, screaming her name. As though Dante’s voice was a switch, Corey jolted into action. He didn’t know how he’d gotten a phone in his hand, but he went with it, shouting across the line for an ambulance. Then he was out front, hobbling down the driveway, needing to get to his sister as fast as he could, terrified she was dead.

  Dante breathed into her mouth, then started pumping her chest, yelling at her to wake up. The driver of the car got out, his young face dumbstruck.

  “You bastard!” Corey screamed at him.

  The guy’s face turned angry. “It’s not my fault the stupid bitch ran out in front of me,” he said, pointing at Beth.

  Corey threw one of his crutches at him. “Go away, just go away!”

  The guy jumped back into his car, taking off within seconds.

  Corey fell to the ground by Beth’s side, his sister’s head bleeding badly. “Is she breathing?”

  Dante placed an ear to her chest. “Yes!

  Corey cried out in relief.

  Dante cupped her face. “Beth, wake up, please wake up.”

  The sound of sirens split the air. Corey looked up as a green and yellow ambulance drew closer. He could hear Dante continuing to beg Beth to wake up, but it felt like it was far away, everything surreal.

  The ambulance stopped a few feet away from them. Medics burst out of the doors. Within seconds, one of them was pulling Corey away from Beth, while the other was telling Dante to move. Then they were working on his sister, their words not making sense. It was as though they were speaking a foreign language, Corey unable to take anything in.

  Large arms circled him from behind, pulling him hard up against a strong body. Corey jolted and looked back, finding Sledge sitting on the ground, holding him tightly. Sledge’s wheelchair was a few feet away, tipped over, Sledge probably having crawled to him.

  “She’ll be all right,” Sledge said.

  Corey’s head snapped around as the medics shifted Beth onto a stretcher, strapping her in. Lifting her up, they carried her to the ambulance, with Dante following close behind. They climbed into the back, another medic shutting them in. The ambulance engine started up, snapping Corey out of his stunned state. He screamed at them to wait for him, terrified he wouldn’t see Beth again. He went to push up, but Sledge held onto him tight, not giving him an inch. He started struggling against Sledge, but despite Sledge’s damaged arm, he couldn’t get free, his boyfriend too strong. The ambulance pulled away, intensifying Corey’s panic. He started screaming hysterically, begging Sledge to let him go.

  “It’s too late, Corey, they’re leaving,” Sledge said.

  “No it’s not, no it’s not! Lemme go!”

  Corey stopped yelling as his mother’s car appeared around the corner, driving past the ambulance. The station wagon came to a stop a few feet away from them. His mother jumped out of the car, dropping down in front of Corey.

  “Are you all right, Corey?” she asked, checking his arms and legs, her expression worried.

  Unable to tell her about Beth, he buried his face into Sledge’s chest, crying his heart out.

  “What happened, Sledge?” she asked. “Is he hurt?”

  “No, but Beth is. She wuz hit by a car. An ambulance took her away, the one you passed.”

  “What?!”

  Corey turned back to his mother, who was already scrambling to her feet. Within seconds she was in her car, starting the engine. Before Corey could ask to come, she yelled at two neighbours to look after him, the couple heading their way.

  As she drove off, no doubt heading for Middleton, the neighbours helped Corey and Sledge up, the man settling Sledge back into his wheelchair. Corey climbed onto Sledge’s lap and buried his face into his chest, too upset to do anything else. One of the neighbours pushed them towards their house, mentioning phoning Corey’s dad. Corey started shaking, shock setting in.

  Sledge wrapped his arms around him, muttering, “Beth’ll be okay.”

  Corey started crying again, knowing it wasn’t true.

  25

  L

  L climbed the staircase, hearing crying coming from Dante’s room. He walked over and placed his ear to the door. It was definitely crying, no doubt Kara suffering from her miscarriage. His mind went to his sister, who’d had three miscarriages, her fourth pregnancy finally having a happy ending, his nephew now two.

  Wanting to comfort Kara, he pushed open the door. She was on the bed, curled up into a ball, her soft cries pulling at his heart strings. He closed the door behind him, not wanting Jade to see her like this, his friend heartless when it came to Kara.

  “Kara,” he said softly, hoping he didn’t startle her.

  She lifted her head, her pale blue eyes shiny with tears, the whites bloodshot. “Why are you here? Where’s Dante?”

  “He went out to speak to Beth.”

  Kara squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t give him a child like she can.”

  Sitting down on the bed, L placed a hand on her arm. “Beth’s baby isn’t his.”

  Kara’s eyes snapped open. “What?”

  “She’s too far along for it to be Dante’s.”

  Kara stared at him, looking taken aback.

  L continued, “Which means you could still have another baby with Dante.”

  She screwed up her beautiful face again. “It won’t happen. Every time I get pregnant I miscarry. This is my third miscarriage. I had one before I met Dante and another with him. I never told him back then, but now, I can’t keep it a secret anymore. It hurts too much.” She touched her stomach. “I can’t give him what he wants.”

  “What Dante wants the most is love. I don’t think he’ll forsake you because you can’t have children.”

  “He did! He chose Beth because he thought she was having his baby, even though he promised he would never leave me. I’m not enough for him. In all truth, both me and Beth aren’t enough for him. I tried not to believe it, but I can’t kid myself anymore. Dante’s not a monogamous man. He can’t control his emotions or desires. He needs more than me. He kids himself when he says he wants a monogamous relationship, because I know deep down, if someone fascinating walked into his life, he would cheat on me.”

  “Has he cheated before?”

  “Not that I know of, but you should see how he flirts with women and men. I know he won’t act on the men, because he’s just teasing, but the women ... I can see he wants sex. It’s why I told him we could have an open relationship. I also thought he would want me more if I said it, because Beth would never allow him to be with anyone else like I would. But now he knows I can’t carry a baby to full term, he’ll move on without a second thought.”

  “I don’t think he’s that shallow. I think he genuinely loves you.”

  “You don’t know him, so how can you say that?”

  “When he told me and Jade about your miscarriage, he looked in pain. He was hurting for you. He also bit Jade’s head off when Jade said you couldn’t stay. He loves you Kara, it’s obvious.”

  “And he loves Beth too.”

  “I don’t think Beth will be any competition for you now. He told me she lied to him about the baby. He was furious.”

  She screwed up her face. “But my baby is still dead.” She turned and pushed her face into the pillow, her shoulders shaking.

  L lay down and placed an arm over her, giving her a hug. She turned to him, pushing her face into his shoulder. She continued to cry, L giving her the comfort she needed. His mind went to Dante, wishing he was here for Kara instead of confronting Beth. He wondered how the man could be so different from his brothe
r. Ash looked just like Dante, but all Ash wanted was one woman, always one woman: Tiana. Yet, Dante flirted with anything that moved, even L.

  L frowned, wondering whether it had something to do with Dante’s stepfather. No, Ash had been abused by the man too, so it was probably due to Dante’s bipolar disorder, although L didn’t think that was an adequate excuse for the way he behaved.

  “What did you say?” Kara asked, lifting her head.

  L looked back at her, realising he’d spoken his thoughts out loud.

  “What did you say about Dante’s stepfather?” Kara said, raising her voice.

  L’s mind went to catching a thirteen-year-old Dante drinking vodka under a big tree. He’d been staring out at the sea, looking so young and lost, his expression devoid of hope.

  L sat down next to him. “You shouldn’t be drinking, Dante.”

  Dante continued to stare out at the sea, slurring, “It makes me forget.”

  “About what?”

  “How I’m responsible for Ash gettin’ hurt.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Dante took another swig of the vodka.

  L pulled the bottle out of his hand. “Tell me what you meant?”

  Dante swiped the bottle back. “I kept what my stepfather did to me a secret, cos I wuz too ashamed to tell anyone. If I hadn’t, Ash wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

  “What did your stepfather do to you?”

  Pain passed over Dante’s eyes. “The same thing he did to Ash.”

  L frowned. “But he raped Ash.”

  “I know.”

  26

  Dante

  Dante was sitting in the hospital waiting room, staring down at the floor. He was unable to process what had happened, both fear and grief, with a touch of hope, raging through him. He closed his eyes, the memory of Beth running onto the road replaying over and over again. The car had been so far away when he’d crossed, but within seconds it was speeding towards Beth. Then it had hit her ... throwing her backwards ... killing her. Dante had to literally breathe life back into her, Beth’s heartbeat having stopped.

  He gripped onto his hair, his anguish welling up, making him feel sick to his stomach. He wanted to yell and scream, to destroy the reception, to vent his grief and rage, but all he could do was to sit and wait, willing Beth to pull through.

  Black shoes came into view, then a hand touched his shoulder. “Dante, how’s Beth?”

  He looked up, finding Beth’s mother staring down at him. She looked so much like Beth it almost felt like Beth herself was standing before him. She was dressed in blue jeans and a white blouse, clothes that Beth would wear, but it wasn’t her, no matter how much he wished it was.

  Beth’s mother pressed her lips together, looking like she was forcing herself not to cry, her hazel eyes the same shade as Beth’s, begging him for some good news. But he had nothing. Beth was still in surgery. She had stopped breathing again in the ambulance, the medics also having to resuscitate her. They kept telling him she was going to be all right, but he knew they were just saying that to calm him down.

  “Please tell me how she is, Dante,” Mrs. Connor said, her eyes tearing up.

  “They’re operating on her,” he croaked out.

  She sat down next to him, her hands shaking. “What happened? How bad is she hurt?”

  Dante dropped his head again.

  “Dante! Tell me!”

  He looked up, seeing desperation written across her face, a plea for him to say Beth would pull through. But he couldn’t ... not yet ... not until the doctor walked through and said Beth would live—like with Sledge, after his brother’s operation.

  “Please tell me what happened,” Mrs. Connor said.

  “She wuz hit by a speeding car,” because she ran after me. He left out the second part, unable to handle being the one who’d caused her to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he’d stayed with her, she wouldn’t have been hit. Or even better, if he hadn’t taken that call from the doctor’s receptionist, none of this would’ve happened. Beth would’ve been safe, and he wouldn’t have known the child wasn’t his.

  If

  That was all it was between Beth being hurt and being safe.

  He could’ve stayed with her, regardless of his feelings for Kara. Maybe Beth could’ve made him happy. It still would’ve hurt not seeing Kara, but he couldn’t have the both of them, no matter how much he wanted to. Fuck! Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he be normal? If he was, Beth wouldn’t be on the operating table, fighting for her life. He hated himself for being responsible for putting her there—and he was responsible.

  It was his fault—no one else’s, not even that driver.

  Everything he did had consequences, and it was usually others who suffered the outcomes. He did something, then they got hurt. He hated himself for it. He should’ve been hit instead of Beth. He should’ve been taken from this fucked up, mental, fucking, cunt of a world, one where nothing but shit and heartache happened. He couldn’t cope with it anymore, he couldn’t cope, HE COULDN’T FUCKING COPE!

  “Dante! Stop it!”

  Dante jerked back, not remembering getting to his feet. He looked around the waiting room, seeing people scampering away, a few cowering in a corner, fear in their eyes. His gaze lowered to the floor, finding an overturned table, the magazines and everything that had been piled on top now lying across the floor. A few chairs were also lying on their side, one of their metal legs twisted at an angle, as though he’d struck it against the floor continuously.

  Shaking uncontrollably, he turned to Beth’s mother, the lost moments scaring him.

  She grabbed him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. “Back off!” she yelled at the nurses, one of them a large man, who was inching towards Dante.

  “The police have been called,” the male nurse said.

  “They don’t need to be involved,” she replied, not letting Dante go. “I’ll pay for the damage.”

  “It’s too late.”

  “No, it’s not! Show some compassion.”

  “He’s dangerous.”

  “No, he’s suffering. I’m suffering! We need to know about my daughter. Her name’s Beth Connor. She was hit by a car and is pregnant with his baby.”

  “I’ll check for you,” a female nurse said, scurrying off a second later.

  “While I’ll wait until the police arrive,” the male nurse added. “But if he looks like he’s going to lose it again, I won’t hesitate in taking him down.”

  “He won’t, I’ll watch him closely,” Beth’s mother said firmly, “and is it possible for us to wait in a more private room?”

  “I’m afraid not,” the male nurse said, righting the chairs. “Just keep him under control.”

  “I will.”

  Beth’s mother directed Dante to a seat, sitting down next to him. She wrapped her arms around him again, talking to him in a soothing tone. Dante hugged her back, needing the comfort, the woman reminding him of his mother – before his stepfather had killed her. He’d been responsible for her death too. He felt responsible for everything that went wrong around him. Beth had been hurt because he’d broken up with her, his mother had been stabbed because his stepfather had taken the knife off him, while Ash had been raped because...

  ...because...

  He searched through his mind as to why he was responsible, but a block kept coming up, one so solid he couldn’t break through ... or didn’t want to, because he knew whatever lay behind that wall was bad, something that could break him.

  “Where is she?!” someone yelled.

  Dante pulled away from Beth’s mum and looked up at Mr. Connor. The man was short, with a potbelly and a hard face, deep lines etched across his forehead. He was dressed in grease-stained pants, obviously having come straight from his mechanic’s job. Corey was standing a few paces behind him, looking so small and fragile, his sweet face nothing like his father’s.

  Beth’s mother pushed to her feet, looking like she was going
to answer her husband, but stopped, her eyes instantly snapping to a doctor. The forty-something man, with a square jaw, emerged from the far corridor with the female nurse who’d offered help.

  Beth’s mother rushed past her husband, zeroing in on the doctor. “Are you here about my daughter?” she asked, her voice filled with desperation. “Her name’s Beth Connor. She was hit by a car.”

  “Yes,” the doctor replied, looking sad. “She’s alive...”

  Beth’s mother cried out and launched herself at the doctor, hugging him. The doctor looked over her shoulder, his eyes still sad.

  “You didn’t let me finish,” he said.

  Beth’s mum pulled back, letting him go.

  He continued, “She’s alive, but only because of a life support machine.”

  “To help her until she gets stronger,” Beth’s mother said. “Until she can breathe on her own?”

  The doctor shook his head. “I’m afraid she won’t recover. The brain damage is too extensive. She may look alive, but essentially she’s dead, only the machine keeping her breathing. We haven’t turned it off because she’s at a stage of pregnancy where we can keep her alive long enough for her baby to be born.”

  Beth’s mother’s hand shot to her mouth. She stepped back, then collapsed, her legs going out from under her. Mr. Connor ran for her, his sob so deep it set his wife off, her screams piercing the air. Dante went for Corey as Beth’s brother stumbled, looking like he was going to collapse too. He caught him, holding onto Corey tight, Beth’s brother the only thing keeping him from breaking down too. Corey cried out, his sobs merging in with his mother’s wails, Dante’s world falling apart along with the Connors’.

  27

  Saul

  Saul was sitting in the police cell he’d locked so many others in. He couldn’t believe he’d ended up here. He’d joined the force full of youthful idealism, but as time passed, that idealism began to dwindle until it was non-existent. Domestic violence, murder, having to tell people their loved ones had died, then losing his own wife to the job ... it had worn him down so much he’d almost quit the force. But instead he’d asked to be put undercover, needing to throw himself into another world in an attempt to escape his pain. And while undercover, his insides had been corroded even more, the trip to South America that Craven had sent him on beating him down to the point that he’d broken, the torture he’d received at the hands of his boss’s enemy severe. They’d whipped him until he’d passed out, then had done other things to him, making him believe he was going to die. But Craven had paid them to let him go, giving them the drugs they had wanted. And what did Saul do in return? He’d betrayed Craven. But he’d been undercover, the line between allies and enemies blurred. Craven had been an evil bastard, his influence turning Saul into a savage, making him do things he never would have done if he hadn’t met the man.