Rebound (Breaking the Rules Book 1)

by Candy Crum

  “I don’t want to move,” she said.

  “I know.” I reached up and wiped a stray tear from her makeup and blood smeared face. “I know you don’t want to move. I wouldn’t want to either, but that’s why I’m here. I’m here to help pick you up and carry you through this. We have to clean you up. You can’t walk around like this. It’s only going to hurt you worse by seeing it.”

  “I don’t want to be in there alone,” she said. “I don’t even want to be in here alone. I just didn’t want to be around that many people.”

  “I’ll stand in there with you,” I said. “Would that be okay?”

  She nodded. “Please.”

  I stood and helped her do the same. She was so exhausted from the emotional stress that she could hardly stand. I all but carried her to the shower. I put her hands on the sink for stabilization as I undressed her. Touching her clothes made me sick. My stomach churned at seeing my beloved cousin’s blood on them. My heart was breaking, and I had no way of letting that go right then. I wanted to scream and hit things. I wanted to forget about all of it, but I couldn’t. Not yet.

  When I got her undressed and into the shower, I threw her clothes in the bathroom trashcan and tied the bag.

  “I’m going to grab your clothes and a towel, okay?” I said.

  “Please don’t go!” she said from the shower, peaking her head out from behind the curtain.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “I just have to get your clothes. Otherwise you’ll freeze when you get out.”

  “Oh,” she said, her voice barely a whisper then. “Okay.”

  As soon as she closed the curtain, I snatched up the bag and ran out of the room, making my footsteps as light as possible. I all but leapt down the stairs, happy to find Jax at the base of them chatting up my family. He was charming, and everyone seemed to be in love with him.

  “Hi, beautiful,” he said. “How is everything going?”

  “Good. Can’t talk. Have to get back.” I shoved the bag at him. “Take these and burn them.”

  “Burn them?” Lana said. I hadn’t really picked out any faces that had been standing there with him. It hadn’t mattered. I was in a hurry.

  “Yes,” I said. “Burn them. Otherwise she will cling to them. I don’t know if you got a good look or not, but they are covered in blood. They need burnt, or she will keep pulling them out and looking at them. People react in really weird ways when someone they love dies.”

  “I’ll do it, babe. No worries.” Jax said. “Get back up there.”

  My brain wanted to have a he called me babe moment, but I didn’t have time for it. I bolted back up the stairs and grabbed some clothes out of Lana’s dresser, as she’d earlier instructed me to do. Afterward, I spent the next half an hour talking to Desi about anything and everything not related to her marriage, Caleb’s deployments, or Caleb. It was hard, but I managed. Selfish as it was, I talked about work and school. It was the only thing I had that was positive and not about him.

  She was especially happy about Kevin being gone and even got a big laugh when I told her that Jax punched him in the face twice. That was her favorite part. The topic quickly got moved to him. She wanted to know all about him. When I helped her out of the shower, she was all smiles about Jax. She couldn’t wait to meet him. She said that she’d wanted to punch Kevin for years. Even though we never saw much of each other, we talked all the time. She knew everything about our relationship. Though they both hated Kevin, Caleb and Desiree were kind and supported me. They didn’t give me a hard time over him. That didn’t stop her from gloating about his misfortune then, however. I was glad that something raised her spirits.

  “Thank you,” she said when we got back to the bedroom. “You have no idea how much better I’m feeling.”

  “Aw. I’m glad to hear it! That’s the goal. Hopefully I’ll be able to do some good while I’m here.”

  “You always do,” she said. “I love you. You’ve always been like a sister to me.”

  She sighed and looked at the bed, rubbing the fabric of the comforter a little.

  “I think I want to try to sleep,” she said.

  My eyes widened. I wasn’t expecting that. I figured she’d be up a few more hours crying and feeling terrible. Lana was definitely right about the shower.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” I said.

  “I wanted to meet Jax tonight,” she said. “He sounds wonderful, but I think that I need sleep more.”

  “I think you’re right about that,” I said.

  “Besides, I don’t want him to see me like this. Not on a first impression.”

  “Trust me… He wouldn’t care. I’m pretty sure you could shave half your head and black both of your eyes, and he’d still tell you that you’re beautiful. More than that, he’d actually mean it. Just the kind of guy he is.”

  Desi smiled. “That makes me happy. You know, I try not to pry. I try not to get in your business, or to bother you about your relationships, but I think I will now.”

  “Oh?”

  She nodded. “Caleb was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Not only was he the best, but he brought along with him a family that pulled me in and accepted me. Everyone complains about their in-laws and there is always a battle. There never has been with any of you. You’ve always loved me, and I’ve always loved you. Now the tether between all of you and me has been severed. I have no idea what will happen in the future. I have no idea if I will lose all or some of you. I don’t know what is going to happen. I’m sure I’ve made more of a show out of this than I should have, but I feel like I’m not just mourning him. I’m mourning my entire life. My entire family.”

  “You will never lose me,” I said. “Don’t you worry about that. I can’t promise you that everyone will stay in contact with you like they always have. I can’t do that. Mostly because I know that you’re right. When these things happen, people move on, and when that tether isn’t there anymore, they forget that the widowed spouse even exists. I don’t mean to make that sound terrible. I’m only saying that I understand what you’re talking about, but that will never be you and me. Never.”

  She smiled. It was sad, but the smile was genuine. “I know that. You’re the one person I can guarantee that I won’t lose. I didn’t tell you that to make you feel bad or anything like that. I told you that to tell you this… I lost everything in the blink of an eye. I had no idea that it was going to happen, and now it’s gone. No preparing. No warning. Just gone. You have a chance to make things right in your life. I know that you said that you’re terrified because you just left Kevin. That you’re scared because he just got out of a relationship, too. That both of you were on dates with your exes, that went terrible, and that’s how you ended up together tonight. None of that matters. It’s 4:30 AM. We are all exhausted. He’s been down there for an hour by himself with the family.”

  “I have a feeling that I know what you’re going to say and…”

  “Go to him,” she said, interrupting me. “Go talk to him. You like him. You like him a lot. I can tell. You light up when you talk about him. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. That’s all Caleb ever wanted for you, too. This is your time. This is your chance. You’ve been hurting for three years. If he’s willing to pick up those pieces, then let him.”

  I sighed. “I still don’t think you should be alone. I can always go talk to him later.”

  “Sometimes there isn’t a later,” she said, giving a sad smile. “Go talk to him. I’ll be fine. I’m surprised I’m not slurring my speech right now. Come check on me in a little bit, if you want. Caleb swears that I snore. So, you’ll probably hear that from the door. I think he’s a liar, though.”

  I smiled. She was broken, but she was finally starting to talk and get her feistiness back to her. I was happy at least a little progress was made. It would be a game of Tug of War with her emotions for a while, but it would get better.

  I tucked her in and kissed her forehead. I left t
he bedside lamp on, at her request, and even turned on the TV for her. She wanted the sound. I couldn’t blame her. Total silence when depressed was the worst. I left the door cracked as I walked out, and I made my way to Jax. Desi was right. It was time that we talked. Really talked. There was a lot between us, but I needed to make sure that I knew what that was before I got myself too attached.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When I returned to the craziness downstairs, it took a few minutes to find Jax. He was at the sink washing some of the dishes that had been emptied from all the food. It seemed that everyone had dug in, knowing that Desi would be sequestered away for a good while. While Desi had been too focused on me and her own problems to instruct me to do so, I knew that she’d want me to thank everyone for her.

  “Hey everyone!” I said loudly. “Desi is finally making use of the bed upstairs. She’s going to get some sleep. She deeply appreciates everyone here for her and for Caleb tonight, and it means a lot to her. Everyone is free to hang out, eat, and catch up, just please make sure to keep the volume down so she can get some sleep. As I’m sure you’re all aware of, she’s exhausted. Also – if there’s a lemon pie… Ima want a piece of dat.”

  There were a few laughs from the family around me that knew me best. Lana stopped me as I moved through the crowd.

  “How is she?” she asked.

  “She was good enough to gripe at me before going to sleep,” I said, smiling. “So, I think she’s doing okay.”

  “Good. Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome,” I replied. “I was happy to help.”

  “Before you go,” she said, stepping in my path. “We need to talk about Jax.”

  “Do we?” I asked.

  She nodded. “You need to marry that boy.”

  “We kind of only met about a month ago,” I said. “So, marriage might not be the best idea.”

  “I don’t care,” she said, her thick southern accent coming through. “This whole time he has been dealing with all these women. Look at us. We are all a mess. Your family has been swarming in on him like flies on a pie made out of you know what, and he has smiled and chatted with all of them. They are curious about him. When asked, he stood there and told us the story of how you met. It was a cute little story.

  “The story about you walking in and saving his mother’s life, however, was amazing. To hear him tell it… Ugh. You are that boy’s hero, honey. He said he’d seen beautiful girls in his day, but when you walked up to him in the park, you outshined them all. Then in that room, when he saw you so determined and strong, he said no one would ever be that beautiful to him again.”

  “He did not say that,” I said.

  “Actually, yes. Yes, he did,” she replied, one of her brows raised with a knowing smile on her face. “I’m telling you. You need to keep that boy.”

  “You and your daughter are way too much alike,” I said. “That’s what she was griping at me about, too. I came down to take him for a walk.”

  “He’s not a dog, honey,” she said, laughing a little.

  I shared in the laugh. “I know it. I just can’t talk to him here. This isn’t the right time.”

  “You mean to say that you can’t let all us old women live vicariously through you by letting us eavesdrop. That’s just rude, young lady.”

  I laughed again. She was a good woman. “Yes. That’s what I mean. I have no idea how he feels, and I need some privacy. I also need for there to not be so much sadness and depression in the air.”

  “Oh, I think you’ll find that he feels exactly the same way that we all do about him. I mean… that you do.” She winked before stepping out of the way. “Have fun. Just don’t do anything too fun in the car or anything like that. When you guys finally do it, make it romantic.”

  “Lana!” I scolded.

  “What?” she asked. “Don’t you think I know how these conversations go? I didn’t expect you to realize your love for one another and run off to go bake cookies in the sunset.”

  “Oh, my goodness. You’re rotten.”

  I gave her a hug and walked away. Jax had just finished with the dishes. The women, young and old, were gathered around him. He made a good show of being the sexy, caring type. His momma needed a big thank you card.

  Lana and Desiree were both right. A conversation needed to happen, but it couldn’t happen right then. It needed to wait. It wasn’t my time. There were too many people around that needed attention more than me. Still, I’d been up a long time and exhaustion was getting to me. I needed a nap.

  “I’m beat. I think I’m ready to find a place to take a nap. How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “I’m fine,” he said.

  His eyes were a little pink. I could tell he was lying, even if it was just a little.

  “Would you want to lie down with me?” I asked. “Only sleeping this time. I promise not to jump you.”

  He smiled. “Technically, it was I that jumped you. Not the other way around.” He leaned in close enough that no one else could hear. “You were just vocal about letting me know that you wanted it.”

  Even as tired as I was, he was still able to get a rise out of me. He was everything I could have hoped for.

  “Let’s go find a place to sleep. We might even have to make a bed in the floor in Lana’s room next to Desi. She should be passed out cold by now,” I said.

  “Sounds good to me. The more you talk about sleep, the more I find myself ready to just pass out.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  The following two days were spent with people in and out of the house, shopping for clothes and for a headstone and casket, lots of food – my personal favorite, and making other arrangements. It was a very busy couple of days, to say the least, but it wasn’t all torture. We took lots of naps, watched a lot of movies, and played a lot of cards as well. Despite the reason for the visit looming in the air, it was actually a really nice time.

  When the official day came, we were all on guard. We had no idea how Desi would react to everything. She’d been very calm over the past twenty-four hours, but we weren’t sure how the actual funeral would go.

  Jax snuck out with Lana while I was napping with Desi the day before. He’d picked up a new suit for himself for the funeral and bought me a beautiful black dress. Thanks to Lana, it fit perfectly. It was an A-line with three quarter sleeves. Very classic. Very appropriate. I was proud of him for picking it out and flattered that he bought it for me, though I didn’t really like it when people spent their money on me.

  When Jax and I arrived, almost everyone was sitting down, though there were several people wandering around with tissues as they greeted one another. The majority of the people in that church were my family members, and most of them I didn’t know. There were several people that we went to school with when we were kids. The thing that made me happiest was seeing some of the men that served with him in Iraq and Afghanistan. There was a dozen or more in attendance. I know that would have made him happy.

  There was one man in particular that caught my eye. He was standing next to the head of the closed casket, eyes straight forward and still as a statue. He wasn’t there to only pay his respects. It looked as though he was standing guard. My heart skipped a little as tears welled in my eyes. It was a very sweet, honorable thing to do.

  “Who is that man?” I asked Lana.

  “An impressive and amazing young man,” she said. “That is Aiden. He was Caleb’s best friend. They toured together quite a few times. He just got back a few months ago.”

  “That’s so sad,” I said.

  “It really is,” she replied. “Desiree didn’t know him well. She’d met him a few times, but not at length. He was always traveling or on tour with the military. He came up and introduced himself to me and Desi, even though they’d met before. He was being extremely formal. He apologized to her for what happened and then asked if he could stand up there. She said he’s been up there for hours and hasn’t moved.”

  “T
hat poor man,” I said. “It’s amazing the bond that they sometimes share. Have you guys been here for hours? I thought you had other things to do this morning before coming.”

  “We did. Desi asked that I drop her off, so I did. The pastor was already here and she wanted to pray with him. So, I went and grabbed some arrangements and brought them in. She’s been greeting people as they come. She’s doing very well. I’m proud of her.”

  So was I. I had no idea how she was holding up, but she was doing an amazing job. Jax and I made our way on, finding a seat in the front row. I was glad that one was held for us. Before I actually sat down, I found the refreshment area and grabbed a glass of water before taking it back out to the floor. I made my way up to Aiden and offered it to him.

  “At ease, soldier,” I said with a smile.

  He returned it.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” he said, taking the water. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “It’s quite alright. That’s my cousin you’re guarding there. I figured someone should water you before you pass out.”

  He smiled again. “Thank you, again, ma’am. I’m sorry for your loss. If there is anything that I can do to help in this time, please just let me know. My name is Aiden.”

  He quickly drank the water, and I took the cup from him.

  “Thank you, Aiden. If you were as close to Caleb as I was told, maybe sometime you could sit with Desi, his wife, and tell her about some of the things that made him a hero. When she’s ready, of course.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said. “I’d be happy to do that. He really was a hero. He saved me a time or two. If and when she’s ready to talk about him, I’d be happy to tell her anything she’d like to know. Sometimes it’s therapeutic to know more about the times they had to spend apart, at least it has been in some cases.”

  “She’s strong, and sentimental. She will be one of those. Thank you again,” I said before turning to sit down next to Jax.

  “That was very nice of you,” he said. He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. “You are an incredible woman.”