Revelations (The Elysium Chronicles)

by Souders, J. A.

  I stop pacing and glance over, scowling at the dark-haired boy leaning against the wall by the corner, talking quietly with my mother. Asher. Former best friend, current asshole. But there’s no doubt that I owe him a huge debt after tonight.

  The door I’ve been pacing in front of squeaks open. Dr. Gillian looks exhausted and I know I don’t want to hear what he’s going to tell me, but still, I have to ask.

  “Is she all right?”

  “She’ll be fine.”

  I don’t really hear what else he says—something about a dry drowning and her being extremely lucky—because my whole body sags in relief. She’ll be fine. That’s all I hear. Over and over in my head. She’ll be fine.

  “Gavin,” he asks, pulling my attention back to him. “Did you hear me?”

  I nod quickly. “Yes. Of course. Whatever you want.”

  It’s obvious from the look he gives me that he knows I hadn’t heard a word. With a sigh, he takes off his glasses and polishes them on his shirt. “I’m concerned, Gavin.”

  I don’t say anything. I don’t want to hear what he has to say.

  “This…” He pauses. “This episode she had, where she walked into the ocean, she says she doesn’t remember any of what you said happened.”

  I nod. I expected that. She didn’t remember anything the other times, either.

  “She also told me this is the third time she’s blacked out in almost as many days.”

  “Um … well, technically it’s only twice. The first time I’m pretty sure she only freaked out because Lucy was running straight at her.”

  He lifts an eyebrow. “Gavin, we need to be serious here. You have to realize how grave this is. What she’s having, these blackouts—they’re what’s called a “fugue state.” It’s concerning because I’m not sure if this is a psychiatric issue or a physical one. I can’t even run any of the basic tests like a CT scan to make sure there isn’t some sort of brain damage. I simply don’t have the equipment.” He screws his face up in frustration, before straightening his features. “She needs to go to Rushlake. This is just … beyond what I can do here.” He spreads his hands out in front of him in a helpless gesture.

  “You know I can’t go to the city. Not after…” I trail off, my gaze drifting over to Asher. I allow myself a second to glare at him before focusing on the doctor again.

  He pats my shoulder. “This will happen again. Will you be around next time? More importantly, can you afford to watch her every hour of every day to make sure that when it does, she won’t walk back into that ocean?”

  I open my mouth, but no words come out. He’s right. There is absolutely no way I can be around her 24/7. Even if I could give up hunting and everything else to be around her, I have to sleep sometime.

  He nods at me, then at someone behind me before turning back around and disappearing through the door.

  “I’ll take her.”

  I slowly turn to face Asher. “Absolutely not. If she goes, I’ll take her. This is none of your business and we don’t need your help.” It burns that I already owe him for helping with Evie. I’ll be damned if I’ll owe him another favor.

  He touches my arm. “Gavin, come on. Let me help.”

  “No.” I cross my arms over my chest. “The last time I let you ‘help,’ I ended up losing everything. I’m not letting you do that to me again.”

  My former best friend’s face pales and then reddens almost instantly. “Oh, come off it, Gavin. They’re never going to let you into the city.” He glances at my clothes. “Even if you do manage to clean up enough.”

  “We’ll get a visa from the mayor.”

  “My father?” Asher barks out a laugh. “Good luck with that. He won’t give you one.”

  “He’ll have to,” I say.

  Asher laughs again, but this time there’s no humor in it. “That’s where you’re wrong. He doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to.” Then he shrugs. “Go ahead and ask him though. Good luck.” He starts to walk away. “You know where to find me when you change your mind.”

  Evie

  The air is heavy with heat and humidity. Between that and the exhaustion from almost drowning, my whole body feels leaden. So I just lie here and stare at the spiderwebs of cracks spreading across the ceiling and walls. I imagine them as thin fingers reaching for me, coming to steal me away from this world where I don’t belong. I almost wish they would, so I’ll stop endangering Gavin and his family.

  This makes three. Three incidents since I left the medical facility. Three times I’ve hurt Gavin or almost hurt someone dear to him. The first was the day they brought me to live with them. The dog, Lucy, came out to greet me—well, everyone really, but she ran straight for me with her tongue lolling out and her teeth showing. The next thing I know she’s on the ground underneath me and Gavin is prying my hands from around her neck.

  Luckily, everyone agreed that they’d have reacted the same way, given the fact that I’d never seen a dog before and it did (kind of, sort of, probably not but maybe) look like she might be attacking. No one, including the dog, seems to resent me for it. Now Lucy follows me everywhere, like a little yellow dog-shaped shadow.

  The second time, I don’t even know what started it. I was sleeping. When I woke up, I had broken into the room where Gavin stores all of his hunting gear. I was standing in the middle with an assortment of weapons around me, and one in each hand. When Gavin had called my name, I’d spun around with both weapons drawn, my head screaming at me to kill the Surface Dweller.

  Now I’ve almost drowned myself—and Gavin—trying to get “home.” I don’t even know where that is!

  I can’t stay here. I can’t stay where I’m going to harm someone because my brain decides to shut off and my body just does whatever the hell it pleases.

  With a sigh, I lie back against the pillows and close my eyes against the hominess of the room. I don’t want to see how they’ve made this room nice for me, with soft, sweet-smelling bed linens and the beautiful furniture. They’re a little scratched and damaged, but it’s easy to tell they’re the best in the house. And so is this room. With the beautiful flowers which are changed every few days—by Gavin’s mother no doubt—and the white lacy curtains at the windows that look like they’re almost brand new. Ann Marie’s wedding stuff filling up her side of the room. I don’t want to see any of it, because I’ve done nothing but cause them problems and they’ve done nothing but try and make me feel comfortable and at home.

  For a while there’d been the soft murmur of voices and I’d hoped Gavin would come to visit me, but the murmur died down a while ago and Gavin never came. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t know what to do. It’s happened three times. It’s sure to happen again. And next time we may not be so lucky.

  Eventually the door creaks open and Gavin pokes his head in. My heart soars when I see him. I open my mouth to say his name, but he places his finger over his mouth and scoots in, shutting the door quietly behind him. He strides across the room, his long legs eating up the floor in two steps, and when he pulls me gently into his arms, my heart skips a beat.

  He lifts my chin with his finger so I’m looking into his beautiful silvery gray eyes, and for what feels like forever and no time at all we stare at each other. Then, finally, his mouth is on mine. My eyes close and my stomach flutters as my head spins. For a moment, as our lips touch, I feel right. Like maybe I am home.

  Then he pulls away and reality crashes in again, like the waves crashing against the shore. This isn’t my home, and I’m going to end up killing someone if I stay here. I have to talk to him.

  But before I can, he says, “We have to be quiet. I snuck in. The good doctor thought it would be better if you rested without me bothering you.” He rolls his eyes. “Mom’s got the door guarded, but she had to use the bathroom, and everyone else is asleep, so I took advantage.” He smiles, then kisses my nose before nudging me over with his hip and lying down beside me.

  “And when she comes in to
check on me?”

  He shrugs and crosses his arms behind his head.

  With a shake of my head, I pull the arm he has closest to me down and then wiggle around until I find a comfortable spot, and lean my head against his shoulder. It feels so nice to have him next to me like this. I don’t want to ruin it by talking about how broken I am.

  * * *

  When I wake he’s still there, standing next to the one window in the room and gazing out through the salt-stained glass and leaning against the peeling windowsill. Hearing me shift, he turns. He looks exhausted and I can tell he didn’t get a smidgen of sleep last night. Guilt licks at me. I know it’s because of me. Once again I’m causing problems just by existing.

  I run my fingers over the grooves of my necklace. His eyes follow the movement of my fingers before moving back up to meet my own. We stare at each other, and I’m sure we’re both doing our own survey of the other. The tension in the air is palpable, but then, as if someone flicked on a light switch, the tension disappears. Gavin’s lips quirk into a small smile and he moves toward me. Before either of us can say anything, the door to my room squeaks open and we both turn toward it as the doctor bustles in. He lifts an eyebrow when he sees Gavin, but doesn’t say anything to him. He just asks how I’m feeling.

  The words slip out without conscious thought. “I’m just about perfect.”

  Gavin’s head whips around and he blanches. He exchanges a look with the doctor, who says, “Well, let’s just take a look and make sure of that, shall we?” After a series of noises I can’t interpret, Dr. Gillian finally says, “Everything seems fine. And I don’t believe there’s anything else I can do here.” He stares at Gavin when he says it and I have a feeling he’s saying more than what I hear.

  Gavin won’t meet my eyes, proving my suspicions. I don’t like it. What aren’t they telling me?

  I open my mouth to ask, but Dr. Gillian continues quickly. “I’m going to release you, but you’re to take it as easy as you can in the next few days. If you feel something out of the ordinary, you need to let me know immediately.”

  I want to know how I’m supposed to tell what’s not normal when everything is strange, but I don’t ask. He’s not going to know either.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Memory is a fickle creature. As easy as it is to lock something into your memory, it is as simple to unlock it. For a memory system to function properly it is essential not only to activate the relevant information, but also to inhibit irrelevant information. There are many memory phenomena that seem to involve inhibition, although there is often debate about the distinction between interference and inhibition.

  —EXCERPT FROM DR. FRIAR’S ESSAY ON MANUAL MANIPULATION OF MEMORY RECALL

  Gavin

  I walk Doc out of the house. He takes a moment to reiterate, “She really should go to Rushlake.”

  I know!, I want to shout. Instead, I hand him the package of cookies my mom baked last night, the fresh fish I caught this morning while Evie was sleeping, and some of the venison jerky he loves so much. “Thanks for everything, Doc.”

  He stares for a moment, then sighs. “It might be a good idea to focus on discovering what the trigger is. Sometimes it’s just a matter of preventing it.” Then he says, “My favorite part of making house calls to you all is still the payment. And calls in the winter are always the best. Ginger cookies are my favorite.” He lifts the package of cookies and winks before turning around and making his way down the path that leads to the rest of the village.

  I swipe my hands over my face. How the hell am I supposed to find her trigger? There doesn’t seem to be one. The first time she attacked my dog. The second, she was sleeping. The third? Who the hell knows? Where’s the correlation?

  A hand lands gently on my shoulder and I can tell by the way my nerves tingle that it’s Evie. Fixing a smile on my face, I turn to face her and give her a once-over. She doesn’t look near as tired as she did this morning. Not even close to how tired I feel.

  She gives me a small, puzzled smile. “Why did you give him fish?”

  “Payment for making a house call.”

  “Payment? Fish are money?” She looks even more confused, and I bark out a laugh.

  “No. We don’t really have a lot of money, but I fish and hunt, so generally we trade him for his services. He needs food and we need medical care.” I shrug. “It works well for both of us.”

  She frowns. “So you gave away your food because I needed medical care?”

  I have a bad feeling about this conversation. “We pay for all medical services with food or Mom’s sewing—even people from the city love the clothes she makes. That’s how it works here. Mr. Steris trades his services—he’s a metalsmith. And Mr. Pok barters his best ale.”

  “But you gave up your food for me.”

  I kick at the dirt with the toe of my shoe and shove my hands in my pockets. “Yes, but that’s how we always pay for things. Not just medical care. We buy grains from the farmers, or from Mr. Pok, or Mr. Steris, or anyone in this town really, by trading meat or whatever Mom makes. Some pay us, like the mayor’s wife. But mostly the barter system works well for us.”

  “That’s not what I mean!” she yells, startling me. “You gave your food up for me! Food that could be used for feeding your family or trading for things that are much more important than me.”

  Her eyes are all bright and shiny, and panic makes my nerves tingle. I hate when girls cry. I never know what to say, how to help. Unsure what to do, I pull her to my chest and hug her tightly.

  “It’s not a big deal, okay? It’s just some fish and cookies. And my mom loves to bake.”

  “But I’m causing you problems by just being here.” She plays with the necklace at her throat.

  Finally I get it. I lift her chin up with my finger so I can look at her face. “Look, Evie, it’s not a hardship to have you. I love having you here. And I like that I’m able to do something to help you. I’ve felt so useless lately. You saved my life, Evie. And all I could do was wait for the doctor to help you when you needed me. So, if all I can do is give a few hours of my time catching some fish and giving them to Doc, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

  “Still, I can’t impose on you like this. It’s not right. I need to do something to ease the burden on you.”

  “No, you don’t.” Her immune system is just barely beginning to tolerate the surface. What does she think she’s capable of doing to help?

  She purses her lips, and a determined look comes into her eyes. “You have to lock me into my room at night. Starting tonight. At least I won’t walk into the ocean.”

  I almost want to laugh, but then I realize how serious she is. “No, Evie, that’s crazy. I’m not going to lock you up like a criminal.”

  Her gaze is hard like a diamond. “You will. I refuse to endanger you and cost you any more fish.”

  I can’t help the laughter that bubbles up in my throat. She’s serious. Dead serious, but the way she said fish was just so ridiculous. I have to press my lips together to keep from laughing out loud.

  “Gavin, please…” The hard edge is gone from her voice. Now she sounds desperate. It tears at me. But so does the thought of locking her up.

  “What if you have to go to the bathroom?”

  “I’ll hold it. I’m not a child. Now promise me, or I’m not going another step with you.” She crosses her arms.

  Maybe it would be for the best, I tell myself. It’s to protect her, not me, after all. I sigh. “All right. We’ll try it.”

  She blinks, then sighs and hugs me tightly. “Thank you.”

  “Anything for you.” I kiss the top of her head and hold her for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling that she’s all mine.

  After a long time, she pushes away. “What was Doc talking about? About having to go to a city. And something about a trigger?”

  Damn it. She heard. I clear my throat to give me time to come up with something. I can’t take her to the city. They’
ll chew her up and spit her out. I can’t let her go through that. Not after everything she’s already been through. “He thinks you should go into the village. Meet some more people so you’re not always cooped up here and wallowing.” I grin at her even as my stomach turns from the lie. “Who knows? Maybe something there will trigger some of your memories.”

  The way she watches me, I know she doesn’t believe me. She’s going to call me out on it. I know she is … but then she nods. “Well, I do feel a little shut in.” She smiles and slides her hand into mine. “I’d love to see your village and meet some of these people you’ve talked about.”

  She looks so happy with the idea, guilt weighs on me like an anchor. For a minute I want to tell her the truth, but then she pulls me in the direction Doc took.

  “It’s this way, right?” Her voice is light and bubbly. I don’t think I’ve heard that sound from her. Ever.

  I let her pull me down the path.

  Evie

  Nerves threaten to strangle me, but I’m excited. My heart is beating so fast I’m out of breath after only a few steps. I’ve heard and seen it from a distance, but I’ve never been to the town proper. I should have. Maybe I don’t feel like I belong because I’ve never tried to be a part of life here.

  I lick my lips. The town’s buildings loom in front of me, and even though my nerves make me queasy, my curiosity is overwhelming. I try to imagine what these people will be like. Gavin has shared some stories about them. And I met a few of the women when they came to visit me in the medical center. I hope the others will be like them.

  I take a few hesitant steps toward the town, passing the hospital—a run-down building that looks a lot like Gavin’s house, inside and out—and take it all in. One pristine white building towers above all the rest, with a tall spire that juts up into the sky, and it has a large clock on the side of it.