Back to the Pilliga

by Tony Parsons

  ‘I don’t have any solid plans, Lachie, only a couple of half thought out ideas. But I just have to get out of here before I lose it altogether,’ she said. ‘There’s not much on offer here but I’m scared that if I leave Coonabarabran with the girls Stuart will fight me for custody.’

  ‘How are you off for money, Nicole?’ I asked.

  ‘I have a little bit put away but not a lot. Stuart’s always handled the money side of things. He gives me cash for shopping but most of the bills are paid by cheque,’ she said.

  I nodded, sympathetic to what she was saying.

  ‘If I divorce Stuart I guess I’d be entitled to half of his share of Kamilaroi, but it’d probably take a couple of years to settle, what with the kids and all. I’ve told Stuart if he wants to keep Shelley and Maureen at private schools he’ll have to pay all the fees because there’s no way I’d be able to afford to contribute to them. I always wanted to send them to the local school anyway. It’s been great for Brett and Katrina.’

  ‘I agree,’ I said. Even though I’d enjoyed going away to school because of the freedom it gave me from Father, if I fulfilled my dream of having children I wouldn’t want to send them off to school in Sydney during such a formative part of their lives.

  ‘I’ve spoken to Laurie’s solicitor in the past about what would happen if we divorce,’ Nicole continued. ‘He said a divorce settlement involving me gaining a half share would probably mean Kamilaroi would have to be sold – unless Stuart could give me a cash settlement. He’d have to borrow money to do that. I worry about what your mum will think if I leave. She stayed with your father right to the bitter end so she probably thinks I should stick through these hard times with Stuart, especially as there’s the girls to consider,’ she said.

  ‘I think Mum might be more understanding than you expect,’ I replied. ‘She’s very fond of you and she knows you’ve tried your hardest to make your marriage happy. Also, in a few years the girls will have left home. Look, you and Vickie are welcome to live at my house until you sort things out. And the girls could come and stay with you there during their school holidays. If Stuart decides not to keep them at boarding school there are quite a few good local schools around Neutral Bay. I could rent a flat somewhere nearby and help out when you need me but it would just inflame the situation with Stuart if you were actually living with me. The main thing is that you’ll have a place to live for a while,’ I said.

  ‘That’s so generous of you, Lachie, but I wouldn’t dream of turning you out of your home,’ she said.

  ‘Don’t worry about me, Nicole. I’m always so busy I often sleep at the office. I could easily do that until I find somewhere else,’ I said.

  ‘Thanks, Lachie, I really appreciate your offer, but I need to have more of a think about things first. I may still stay in Coonabarabran so that the girls can see Stuart when they come home. Also, I like being close to your mum and I’m very close to Flora and Stuart and fond of their kids, and all the cousins are really close too,’ she said.

  I felt a twinge for my brother, losing his family like this. I couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid as to have an affair with someone given how lovely Nicole was. And it wouldn’t have hurt him to give Vickie her head and allow her to show sheep and cattle. In fact it’d have been good for Kamilaroi’s reputation. It was a pity he had to be so pigheaded. And not only would a divorce be devastating for Nicole and the girls it’d be tough on Mum if they left Coonabarabran altogether.

  ‘What do you think, Lachie? Am I doing the right thing?’ Nicole asked, nearly in tears.

  My heart went out to her because I had some idea of what she was going through given how wretched I’d been about Fiona’s affair and our marriage failing. Even though I realised now that it was for the best that wasn’t how I felt at the time. And it would be so much worse with kids involved.

  ‘I’m hardly the right person to ask, Nicole. My marriage failed and I don’t have any kids, let alone three. I wouldn’t be game to advise you. This has got to be your decision, but my house is definitely there for you if you need it,’ I said.

  ‘Thanks again, Lachie,’ said Nicole.

  ‘No worries. And just so you know, I may be here for a while depending on how the case I’m working on goes. I’ll be staying here tonight and pushing off in the morning after which I’ll be incommunicado for a while. Here are the keys to my place in case you do decide to head down to Sydney, even if it’s just for a breather and some thinking time. Also, if you need some carry-on money let me know and I’ll transfer some funds to you or get my secretary to,’ I told her. ‘If you do head down there, Flora can get a couple of sets cut for you and Vickie and leave these ones with her.’

  When Vickie and Mum got home Nicole took Vickie into another room to talk to her. After a while, Vickie came out and told Mum that Nicole wanted to talk to her too. Mum looked shattered when she and Nicole came back into the kitchen, though Nicole’s expression was one of firm resolve. The long and the short of it was that Nicole told Mum she’d decided to accept an offer I’d made to her to use my house in Sydney. She said she needed to get away to think and consider her options but there was a chance she’d come back to Coonabarabran.

  I felt very sorry for Mum, who looked stricken. All this was very traumatic for her. My marriage had been a failure and now she was about to witness the disintegration of Stuart’s marriage and the break-up of his family. But, as always, her thoughts were on others and she asked Vickie if she’d like to make some shortbread with her.

  After they went off to the kitchen Nicole said there was no way she’d accept my hospitality without paying me some rent and that she’d look for a temp job when she got down to Sydney. She ignored my protestations that rent was totally unnecessary and asked me for some recommendations re employment agencies. I suggested she get in contact with Christine because she knew everyone and was bound to be able to help both her and Vickie find some temporary work.

  Nicole thanked me again and then breathed a huge sigh and said it was time for her to go and talk to Stuart. I gave her an encouraging hug and wished her luck.

  Just before dark Nicole returned, her eyes red from crying. She was too distressed to talk when she arrived so Mum took her into the spare bedroom and closed the door. Some women would have been angry with their daughter-in-law in such a situation but Mum loved Nicole and had a lot of sympathy for her.

  Outside, the back seat of Nicole’s car was piled high with suitcases and boxes.

  ‘She’s finally done it,’ said Vickie as I walked back into the lounge. ‘I wasn’t sure she’d go through with it,’ said Vickie.

  ‘It’s a big step, Vickie. Your mother’s spent over half her life with your father. Now she has to more or less start all over again,’ I said.

  ‘If Dad wasn’t so pig-headed and controlling of us all, this would never have happened,’ said Vickie angrily.

  ‘He’s not entirely to blame for the way he is, Vickie. Our father was harsh with us all but he put a lot of his expectations on your dad in particular because he was the eldest. Your dad learned to second-guess our father and was always trying to please him. If we’d had a different kind of father, your own dad might have turned out differently. I have some sympathy for him,’ I said.

  ‘Do you think I’m being selfish and unreasonable to leave Kamilaroi?’ she asked.

  ‘Not if you find it impossible to come to terms with your father,’ I replied.

  ‘The sad thing is that I’m sure I could have done as well as any boy at Kamilaroi and he wouldn’t give me a go,’ said Vickie sadly.

  CHAPTER 15

  I wondered how long it would take before Stuart put in an appearance. It was probably too late in the evening for him to come over, particularly given he’d probably need to talk to the woman he was carrying on with about what was going on. It turned out that he arrived during breakfast and started mouthing off as soon as he came through the door.

  ‘This is all your fault, you bastard
,’ he shouted at me. ‘We don’t see you for three years and after only one day back you’ve turned everything upside down. This family’s never been the same since you blamed Father for Kenneth’s death. And though he never recovered from your slur on him he was big enough to leave you a third share of Kamilaroi – and that’s despite you not lifting a finger around here since you left. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, you’re now actively involved in breaking up my family.’

  ‘Sit down and shut up, Stuart,’ I said. ‘Let me assure you that until I arrived here I had very little idea of what was going on with you and your family. I’ve had nothing to do with Nicole’s decision to leave you, though I think she deserves a medal for not doing it years ago. And Vickie’s not going to hang around while you aren’t prepared to give her a proper job here. You’re so much like Father. And we all know about your other woman so don’t complain that you’ve been treated badly,’ I said.

  Although he turned very red in the face with fury it was clear he was also devastated by what was going on and I felt a pang of sympathy for him.

  ‘I didn’t come here to pick a fight with you, Stuart. Nicole and Vickie are leaving here and their futures are more important to me than anything else that’s going on here. You had your chance to keep Vickie and you turned her down. And the affair you’re having would be reason for any woman to leave you quite apart from your patronising, bullying behaviour. You’re in a lot of trouble, Stuart. Nicole will be entitled to half your share of Kamilaroi if she divorces you – and no one would blame her if she did given your shenanigans. Now clear out and allow me to finish my breakfast in peace,’ I said.

  Stuart’s face changed from red to white before he turned and stomped out of the kitchen. Mum followed him out looking terribly distressed but Vickie came over and hugged me. Nicole looked slightly dazed.

  I went outside to ring Flora on my mobile and related the whole sorry story, adding that Nicole had accepted an offer I’d made for her and Vickie to head down to Sydney and stay in my house down there. Flora said that was a good idea and asked if she could speak with Nicole. Heading back inside I handed the phone over to Nicole, explaining that it was Flora. She took the phone outside and spoke to Flora for a good long time and when she came inside she looked considerably better and said she and Vickie were going to spend a day or two with Flora before driving to Sydney.

  Mum and I hugged Nicole and Vickie and waved them off, Mum holding off on the tears till we got back inside and broke down. I comforted her as much as I could and we talked for a while about what was going on with Stuart. I suggested she visit him to see how he was getting on, maybe even stay the night, which she thought was a good idea. Like any loving mother, she was worried about how he would cope. She went off to pack a few things in case she stayed the night at Stuart’s and we both left at the same time. I kissed her goodbye before I got in my car and promised I’d be out again soon.

  Given how upset Mum had been I’d decided against asking her if she could go into town to fill up my car with petrol, which I’d been hoping she could do to avoid anyone seeing me. Instead I put on my dark glasses and Akubra and fervently hoped I wouldn’t bump into anyone I knew. It was a risk to go anywhere too close to Coonabarabran but I needed petrol so I had no choice.

  I stopped to fill up at the petrol station furthest from town, which is when I spotted a creepy looking old sod with longish, greasy mousey-going-grey hair. Slightly stooped and wearing shabby clothes, there was something familiar about him. When I went inside the station to pay for my petrol he was just leaving the till. After he’d gone outside I casually asked the attendant who he was. My heart thudded when he said it was ‘that old bastard Challis’. I looked out just in time to see Challis get into a mud-streaked cream Holden utility with a green tarpaulin covering the back tray. Just as I was pretending to key in a phone number but actually noting down the ute’s rego my mobile phone rang.

  It was Morris, who said. ‘Your package is coming in tomorrow. By air. I’ll meet the plane. You’re to be at the station at eleven.’

  ‘Will do and thanks for that. Do you mind checking this rego out for me,’ I said as the cream utility disappeared into the distance.

  ‘Another development?’ he asked.

  ‘It’s always handy to know who owns a particular vehicle. You sometimes find them in awfully strange places,’ I said. ‘Any chance you could text me the name of the owner of the vehicle?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Morris. ‘What are you up to next?’

  ‘I’m heading out to have a look at the Gorge so I can work out the possibilities,’ I said.

  ‘For God’s sake be careful,’ said Morris.

  ‘Don’t worry, I will. Talk soon,’ I said.

  CHAPTER 16

  There were several hours of daylight left for me to have a good look around the Gorge, suss out the logistics of the location in relation to the Challis and Brewster properties, and work out the best place to camp. Looking at my map, I suspected camping somewhere near the rock pool would probably be a good idea given both the access to water and because it was adjacent to the road that led up to the Brewster and Challis properties. Though Milson had said both properties were fairly well cleared they backed on to some very thick timber and rocky ridges.

  Travelling out to the Gorge involved taking a gravel track that turned south-west off the Baradine Road to the north of the Warrumbungles. After turning off the Baradine Road, I drove through a thickly pined area before arriving at the Gorge – so named because over millions of years a narrow creek had carved out a kind of cutting in a rocky outcrop. At the base of this rocky outcrop was the rock pool, which was about fifty metres long. Beyond the pool and the rocky outcrop, the ground sloped upwards for about three-quarters of a kilometre to a high ridge that dominated the immediate area. Looking up at it I noted it would provide a good view of the rock pool and where I’d be camping.

  The gravel road I’d driven in on continued beyond the camping area, forking about three hundred metres beyond the rock pool where there were two mail boxes, one wooden and one made from a big kerosene tin. I took a casual stroll up there with my camera as if looking for things to photograph and saw that the name Brewster was printed on the wooden one and there was a barely legible Challis on the kero tin. A steel gate spanned the road a small distance beyond these mail boxes. The left hand fork disappeared into dense pine country and I noticed there was a telephone line to the Brewster property.

  I set up my 400-mm lens on a tripod and had a good look at the ridge. I then gathered some dry sticks and soon had a small fire to boil my billy. There were birds singing and twittering all around me as I tucked into my food so I decided I’d actually do a serious spot of photography while I was here.

  As the sun disappeared behind the clouds the reserve suddenly felt a little spooky. There were no houses in sight and the camping area was enclosed completely by pines and low scrub, making me wonder how a policewoman from Sydney would cope here, even one chosen for her experience with firearms and in dangerous situations.

  I decided to take a walk along the creek to look for koalas in the adjacent gums and had a stroke of luck when I found koala droppings underneath a big scribbly gum. Peering up, I spied two koalas in the tree about fifteen metres above the ground. Using another camera with a 200-mm lens I snapped off what I thought might be passable pics of them. My next big break was spying a Regent Honey-eater in a nearby tree. I hurried back to get the big lens and managed to get a couple of pics of it.

  By the time night fell there’d been no sign of any activity on the ridge and no movement to or from either the Challis or Brewster properties. Satisfied with my day’s photography, I packed up and drove back to town where I called in on Flora to see how Nicole and Vickie were taking their first night away from Kamilaroi.

  ‘How are they?’ I asked Flora.

  ‘Vickie is fine because she’s hanging out with the kids. Nicole is in a bit of a daze,’ said Flora. ‘Mum rang to say she’s
staying the night at Stuart’s because he’s very down.’

  ‘That’s totally understandable,’ I said. ‘He and Nicole have been married a lot longer than me and I was terribly upset when Fiona and I split. And she’ll be worried about the girls too. Thank goodness Fiona and I didn’t have children to complicate things.’

  ‘Do you want to stay here tonight?’ Flora asked.

  ‘If you’ve got a spare bed,’ I said. ‘Mum’s at Stuart’s and it’d be good to go through a few things about my house with Nicole. Tomorrow I go bush and it’ll be much harder to make contact with anyone.’

  ‘You’ll be careful, won’t you?’ she said.

  ‘It’s my middle name, Flora,’ I said.

  ‘That’s a laugh!’ said Flora, snorting. ‘If only it’d been your middle name when you took that bullet. Does the wound still give you any trouble?’

  ‘Nah, it’s as good as gold,’ I said.

  ‘I hate to think of you out in the bush on your own,’ she said.

  ‘I’ll have an undercover police officer with me from tomorrow,’ I replied, neglecting to tell her that the police officer would be female.

  ‘Oh, thank goodness,’ she said with obvious relief.

  Nicole thanked me again for letting me use her house and gave me my keys back, since she’d had a couple of sets cut. It was clear she was apprehensive about the future and her place in it. Even though she’d been thinking of leaving Stuart for a long time she was still aware that going solo was going to take a lot of adjustment.

  ‘There are better times ahead, Nicole. I guarantee it. Based on what I went through it’s best to take every day as it comes. After a while, you’ll be surprised at how much happier you feel,’ I said, keen to reassure her.

  ‘I hope you’re right. I feel incredibly confused. Even though I know in my heart I’m doing the right thing, it’s still a wrench and I still worry about whether separating from Stuart will be bad for the girls. I also worry about your mother because she’s always been so wonderful to me. And she loves all the girls. Then again, it’ll be good to be in Sydney so I can see more of the girls. They’ll love being day students and spending more time at home.’