What the hell are you doing, idiot? Disgusted with her behavior, she placed her hand more heavily on Marielle’s and shook it slightly. That’s how you wake up a friend, she scolded herself.
“Hey, sleepyhead, wake up. There’s still a lot of shopping to be done,” she said softly.
Marielle finally opened her eyes, slowly rolled onto her back and stretched. There was no sign of the panic Audrey had feared Marielle might feel once she realized they’d slept so close together all night. Touching. Instead, Marielle turned to her with a sleepy smile, looking more beautiful than ever.
“I slept like a baby. What time is it?”
“Nine thirty.”
“What?” She sat up to look at the clock on Audrey’s nightstand and laughed so joyfully Audrey caught herself wishing they could wake up this way every morning. Her heart tightened. Marielle stretched again, her arms over her head. “Oh my God, I don’t remember ever sleeping this late. Have you been awake very long?”
“Just a few minutes. I thought the exact same thing when I saw what time it was.”
Audrey seemed unable to move. She expected Marielle to jump out of bed. Instead, Marielle lay back down, facing Audrey. Audrey was finally able to move just enough to turn on her side and face Marielle. They stared at each other, smiling. Marielle looked well-rested and cheerful, such a welcome contrast to Audrey’s own usual sluggishness until her first cup of coffee.
“Thank you again, Audrey. I can’t remember sleeping this well. Ever.” Marielle looked at her with such intense gratitude, Audrey couldn’t help but smile. When she caught the dark eyes glancing at her mouth, she turned onto her back, looking for air.
“I think you were just pooped from all the shopping we did,” she said as she focused on the ceiling.
She gasped when full lips brushed against her cheek. “No, Audrey. I slept well because I was with you.”
The voice was so assertive and the statement so definite that Audrey couldn’t argue. “Okay, then, you’re welcome.” She grinned. The spot on her cheek where Marielle’s lips had been was still warm.
Marielle jumped out of bed. “All right, let’s get moving. I need breakfast.”
“And I need coffee,” Audrey added with less enthusiasm.
* * *
It was past eight p.m. when they pulled into Marielle’s driveway. Felix was staying with Sam at his parents’ house. He would take their son to school in the morning, and Marielle would pick him up in the afternoon. Ralph was also staying at the groomer’s one more night because it was too late to pick him up.
They brought Marielle’s purchases inside, and Audrey immediately busied herself showing Marielle where she would place every object she’d suggested that Marielle buy. She hadn’t bought that much: a few candles and candleholders, some colorful framed pictures, a lamp for the living room, and some modern decorative towels for the bathroom with just enough pink in them to match the pink of the tile while bringing it into this century. Marielle couldn’t erase her smile at Audrey’s enthusiasm as she moved around the house in her sexy white Capri pants and black blouse. She exuded such confidence.
Marielle had to admit she was impressed at the difference a few objects made with her décor, and she couldn’t wait to hang the framed pictures in the exact spots Audrey had recommended. Tomorrow. Tonight she was too tired. They’d spent the day shopping and laughing like carefree teenagers, and she’d loved every minute of it. Sitting on her couch, she watched as Audrey placed a large dark blue pillar candle on a simple square white plate they’d bought to serve as a candleholder and set them down on the coffee table. She looked so cute when she stepped back to study her work before turning to Marielle.
“So what do you think?”
“I think it’s beautiful. I can’t believe how much better this place looks already. You really know what you’re doing, don’t you?”
Audrey blushed lightly and sat next to Marielle, on the edge of the couch. “I just like all this house stuff. I’m glad you like my ideas.”
“I love them.”
With a warm, satisfied smile, Audrey leaned back into the cushions. “So did you have fun this weekend?”
“Are you kidding? I had the best time. Thanks again.”
“Stop thanking me, I had fun too. We’ll have to do it again.”
“I’d love that,” she said truthfully.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments until Marielle remembered her manners. “I’m so sorry, I’m being such a bad host. Would you like something to drink?”
“Thank you, but I should probably get going. Get ready for the week and all.”
“Oh,” Marielle said with a sudden lump in her throat. “Okay, I understand. I should get ready for bed too.”
They walked to the front door and stood facing each other. Marielle could swear Audrey didn’t want to leave any more than she wanted her to leave. She opened her mouth, wanting to ask her to stay. Stay and sleep with her, hold her again. Marielle was blatantly aware she wanted nothing more in this moment than to fall asleep in Audrey’s arms. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to ask. It would only confuse things. She closed her mouth and swallowed painfully, then smiled sadly as she pulled Audrey into a hug. “I’ll see you for dinner tomorrow?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
Marielle seemed unable to break the embrace, letting her hands slide up Audrey’s shoulders and into her beautiful, soft, blond hair. Audrey’s arms tightened around her waist before releasing her, leaving her cold and forced to step back, voiceless.
“Good night, Marielle,” Audrey said softly.
“Good night.”
Audrey kissed her on the cheek before opening the door and walking to her car. Marielle waved one last time with a smile and closed the door. Alone with her thoughts, she would have to analyze her feelings again and knew she wouldn’t sleep much tonight. She took a last look around the house as she turned off all the lights, smiling at the new objects scattered in every room and acknowledging the fact Audrey was making her life more beautiful in every possible way. What was so wrong with that?
Chapter Six
On a late June Monday morning, Audrey pulled into the parking lot of the office building at seven thirty a.m., thinking she was well settled into her routine of going to the office every day and definitely didn’t dislike it as much as she’d thought she would. It was certainly more work to get ready in the morning, but it was nice to see Michel, Caroline and all the other nice people she spent time with every day. She liked it even more now she’d finally gone back to doing her regular job. Now she simply kept an eye on her trainees’ work and answered their questions. Their cubicles were all close to hers, which made checking in with them easy. She felt as though she was back in control of her inbox and was proud of the way Sam, Marjorie and Véronique were handling the few clients they had.
Going into the office was also a welcome distraction from her mind-boggling relationship with Marielle. Three weeks after their trip to Montreal, they were still having dinner together every night and sharing their lives. Marielle did most of the cooking because Audrey worked late. Audrey had asked the lawn service company she used to include Marielle’s yard on her bill, a gesture for which Marielle was grateful.
They were definitely very close. Too close. Or not close enough. The prolonged hugs and casual physical contact had grown more frequent, but they still went back to their own houses every night, and they didn’t talk about the fact their relationship was strange. It was accepted. Audrey didn’t want to go backward yet couldn’t move forward. She wouldn’t express her attraction or her feelings to Marielle. Not even if that attraction and these feelings kept growing at a speed that frightened her. Deep down, she figured Marielle had to know how Audrey felt about her. She also had to know everything was up to her. The entire situation drove her crazy.
Audrey stopped by Michel’s office to say good morning and drop off his coffee. It had become a habit for her to stop at the coffee
shop and bring drinks for a few people because she passed it on her way to work.
“Hey, sunshine,” he said with a bright smile from where he sat behind his large mahogany desk. “Thank you, you’re a savior. Who’s going to bring me coffee when you go back to hiding in your cabin, huh?”
Since the very first day of training, Michel had hinted that he wanted her to keep coming to the office. She had to admit he was quite persistent.
“I guess you’ll have to make the tiny little detour from your house to Tim Hortons and get it yourself, lazy bum,” she answered with a wink.
“You’re cruel, Audrey. Damn sexy, but cruel. What do I have to do to keep you around?”
Audrey laughed and turned around to exit Michel’s office but stopped in her tracks, a spontaneous and surprising idea going through her mind. She looked at Michel over her shoulder and went for it. “Tell you what, Michel, you get me a decent chair and I’ll keep coming twice a week. How does that sound?”
His smile broadened, and he stood up to extend his hand. “You’ve got a deal, babe.”
Audrey took the offered hand and returned the smile. As she walked to her cubicle, she wondered if she would regret her impulse. She didn’t have time to decide because Sam was waiting for her with a solemn look on his face.
“Good morning, Audrey. Can I talk to you?”
“Sure,” she said with apprehension. “What’s going on? A problem with an order?”
“No, it’s not about work. That’s why I wanted to talk to you before everyone else gets in.”
“Okay. I’m listening.” She sat in her chair and gave him her full attention, her throat so tight she thought she might suffocate.
He rolled his chair closer to hers and spoke in a low voice. He seemed extremely nervous. His hair was more disheveled than usual, and he kept playing with his hands. “I know you and Marielle are very good friends, so I wanted to run something by you.”
She didn’t like the direction the conversation was taking, not one bit, but she nodded and he continued. “Well, you probably noticed Marjorie and I have grown close, very close, you know what I mean?” He raised his eyebrows to further insinuate what the whole office already knew and what Audrey had tried so hard to ignore.
She didn’t want to know. A charge of anger shot through her veins. She’d been so busy feeling guilty about her own relationship with Marielle every time she was around Sam that she’d never really stopped to think that he was still married to her and therefore he was the one cheating. As conflicted as her feelings for Marielle were, she hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, she was taking care of his son, she was decorating his house and she was paying to get his lawn mowed while he was running around with another woman.
“Yeah, I think I know what you mean. But why are you talking to me about it, Sam?”
“Because you’re so close to Marielle. I know I have to tell her. I just don’t know how. I was hoping you could help me.”
“So you want to make the separation final, if I’m understanding correctly?”
“Yes. Things have been bad for years, and I think it’s better for both of us. I have a shot at something good with Marjorie, and I want to go for it. So?”
“So what?”
“So how do I tell her?”
She sighed heavily, trying to process the information she’d just heard. “I don’t know, Sam. But you have to tell her. You guys have to make decisions together about custody, the house…You have a lot to talk about, and I can’t do it for you. It’s none of my business.”
Her tone was more hostile than she intended, and Sam stood up, putting some distance between them. “Right, you’re right. I’m sorry I asked you, Audrey. I’ll talk to her.”
Defeated, he headed to his own cubicle, and Audrey was facing his back when she asked, “When, Sam?”
He turned around, and his answer was hesitant. “Soon.”
“Right. She has to know. And you’re putting me in an awkward position as her best friend. I won’t say anything, Sam, but you have to talk to her very soon.”
“I will. I promise.”
They went on to their own work, and Véronique arrived shortly after. She greeted them, and Audrey let her warm smile calm her down. Things were moving slowly between them, but they’d shared lunch a few times as well as a few more kisses in the past weeks. Véronique had extended several invitations to see her at night or during the weekend, but Audrey had always found excuses. She felt as though she was leading a double life: a married life at night and during the weekends with Marielle and an affair with Véronique. But her married life wasn’t a real married life, and her affair wasn’t a real affair. It was all way too complicated, especially as she wasn’t even getting any sex out of it. What a freaking mess.
She watched from the corner of her eye as Véronique logged on as she did every morning and took care of urgent matters before heading to the restroom. And as Audrey also did every morning, she waited almost exactly one minute before following her.
When she arrived in the ladies’ room, Véronique was waiting for her, leaning against the wall with the inviting grin Audrey was expecting. She wore black silk slacks and a turquoise tank top. She’d left her jacket on her desk chair. Her well-defined shoulders and upper arms and sun-kissed, olive skin were impossible to resist. Audrey approached her, snaked her arms around her waist and lightly kissed her shoulder.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning, gorgeous,” Véronique answered in a raspy voice before adding, “Now give me a real kiss. I’ve missed you all weekend.”
Audrey obliged. Their tongues met, and they kissed with a passion that always stunned Audrey, leaving Véronique panting. When she caught her breath, she put the tip of her long index finger to Audrey’s chest, demanding attention when she ordered, “July fifth. That’s not this Saturday but next. A friend of mine is throwing a pool party, and you’re coming with me. I won’t take no for an answer.” And as if to make sure she wasn’t going to get that no, she left the restroom, waving goodbye over her shoulder.
Audrey was left alone, smiling and thinking she could really fall for this woman if things were different. A very big if, unfortunately.
* * *
By six thirty on Tuesday morning, Audrey was annoyed that Felix wasn’t awake yet. He usually got up and dressed on his own, and she appreciated that. Afterward, they walked Ralph, ate sugary cereal, and chatted until the bus arrived.
Audrey had grown to love her mornings with Felix. She was amazed at the absence of boundaries to his imagination. It was beautiful and pure and made her wish she were a child again. One day not too long after one of Ralph’s rare trips to the groomer, Felix had asked her if the groomer was a human or a dog. She’d answered that the groomer was a human without laughing, although it had been difficult not to, and he’d explained that in the cartoons he watched, sometimes dogs took care of other dogs, so he wondered if dogs got their hair cut by other dogs. It made sense when he put it that way, and she hoped he would keep reasoning with such untainted innocence for as long as possible.
His relationship with Ralph was especially touching. He talked to the dog as if he could understand everything, and from the way Ralph looked at him with such assiduity sometimes, she couldn’t help but think he might. Perhaps Ralph even talked back to him.
One morning they’d woken up extra early, so they had a little more time than usual and had played hide-and-seek. Audrey was hiding in the closet and heard Felix scold Ralph. “Walph, why did you tell me where she was hiding? You’re not supposed to tell me. That’s cheating.”
He’d seemed upset, so Audrey had come out of hiding to console him. She’d asked how Ralph had told him her hiding spot, and Felix had answered with a sad sniffle, “I asked him if you were in the closet, and he said yes.”
Audrey knew the dog was probably just sniffing at the closet door wondering what the hell she was doing in there, but to Felix’s young mind, a full conversation had taken place,
and she smiled at the unaffected simplicity of it all. Felix was making her see the world through a new pair of eyes, and she enjoyed it tremendously.
She took another look at her watch. Right now, however, she was annoyed with him.
Ralph came down the spiral staircase and went straight for the front door. When Felix didn’t follow, she opened the door to let the dog out so he could take care of his pressing needs while she went to check on Felix. As she approached the staircase, the boy appeared at the railing on the edge of the loft, looking pale and awfully pitiful in his Spider-Man pajamas.
“Audrey, I don’t feel so g—” Before he could finish his thought, vomit was projected from the loft all the way down to the living room floor, traveling an impressive distance and landing everywhere.
Panicked, Audrey ran upstairs and put her hand on the child’s forehead. “Oh my God, buddy, you’re burning up!” She tried to think but was unable to come up with anything better than getting to Marielle. Right now. She smiled at the child and spoke as pleasantly as she could. “It’s okay. We’re going to take you to the hospital, all right?”
He nodded, and she took him in her arms to get him downstairs. There she set him on the sofa and went to grab the booster seat Marielle had left with her in case of emergencies. “Just one minute, okay, Felix? I’ll be right back.”
He didn’t answer, and Audrey ran outside to her Subaru and quickly installed the seat. She grabbed Ralph on her way back inside. When she went to get Felix, he’d thrown up again. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it might come out of her chest. The story Marielle had told her about the little girl with convulsions who’d stopped breathing flashed through her mind, and she unconsciously started praying, something she couldn’t remember doing in her whole life. She grabbed Felix tenderly and ran back outside. Ralph stayed behind, and Audrey barely heard his sad whimper as she closed the front door.
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