First Fall

by Genevieve Fortin

  “Bathroom.”

  Marielle ran to the bathroom to get the thermometer and took Audrey’s temperature. She had a fever but nothing dangerous. “Okay, let’s put you to bed, sweetheart,” she said. “I’ll take care of you.”

  Audrey moaned and groaned but let Marielle help her to the bedroom and didn’t protest when Marielle removed her hooded sweatshirt to reveal a simple white cotton ribbed tank top. No bra, Marielle noticed. She helped her into bed and went to the kitchen, where she was happy to find half a bottle of Gatorade. This would do for now. She would make her own homemade electrolyte drink with boiled water and salt later, when Audrey was asleep. She then went back to the bathroom, where she found Tylenol and a washcloth that she dampened with cold water.

  When she got back to the bedroom, Audrey was on her back, making the most adorable whining sounds. Marielle sat on the bed next to her and placed the damp washcloth on her forehead.

  “Oh that’s cold.”

  “Yeah, it is. Audrey, did you take Tylenol already?”

  “Last night.”

  “Okay, you’re going to take two more right now, and you’re going to drink as much of this stuff as you can. This will keep you hydrated. Come here.” Marielle helped Audrey straighten up to take the pills and drink the Gatorade.

  “I’m dying, aren’t I?”

  Marielle chuckled as she helped Audrey back down to her pillow. “No, you’re not dying. I promise.” Marielle stood up and walked around the bed.

  “You’re not leaving me, are you?”

  Marielle continued to the other side of the bed and lay down next to Audrey, propping herself up on one elbow so she could take the washcloth in her other hand. “No, I’m not leaving.” She moved the cloth to Audrey’s neck, chest and upper arms.

  “That feels good, thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Now try to go to sleep, okay?” Her voice was a whisper.

  “Okay. But you’re staying here with me, right?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Are you sure I’m not dying? It feels like it.”

  “I know, my poor baby. But no, you’re not dying on my shift. Now close your pretty eyes.”

  Audrey took a deep breath and closed them. Marielle kept stroking Audrey’s body with the damp washcloth, and when she was certain Audrey was asleep, she let her head fall onto the pillow and stared at Audrey’s profile for a few minutes. Soon she was also drifting off.

  * * *

  Audrey opened her eyes and looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was seven p.m., and this was the first time since Marielle had put her to bed that she actually felt conscious. She vaguely remembered waking up other times during the day but only to sip on something Marielle was giving her while holding her up or to feel a fresh, damp cloth on her forehead, or Marielle’s soothing hand on her. She’d been by her side all day.

  Audrey smiled to herself and registered the fact that she didn’t feel quite as miserable as she had before. She turned her head to the side of the bed where Marielle had been earlier, but it was empty. She then stood up slowly to avoid dizziness. Marielle must have been successful in making her absorb as much liquid as possible because she had to pee. Her entire body ached as she walked to the bathroom. On her way back, she’d paused to lean against the wall for a few seconds to stop the room from spinning when she heard the front door open and close. Soon Ralph was at her feet, obviously happy to see her alive.

  “Hey there. I just took Ralph for a short walk. What are you doing out of bed?”

  Marielle’s voice was louder and more cheerful than she could take, as glad as she was to hear it. “I was wondering that myself, but I’m kind of stuck.”

  Marielle was by her side in no time and grabbed her arm to throw it over her shoulders. “All right, I’m here. Let’s go back to bed.”

  Once in bed, Audrey felt better and watched as Marielle took her place next to her. She offered her a small smile. “Thank you for doing all this.”

  “All what?”

  “Taking such good care of me.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Her dark eyes focused on her so tenderly Audrey was convinced they could heal. “Pleasure? Please, Marielle. I know you’re a nurse and you’re the most nurturing person I’ve ever known, and I’m very grateful, but come on, you must be so bored.”

  “Not at all, I swear. I want to take care of you.” She paused and looked up at the ceiling before bringing her eyes back to Audrey. Audrey was shocked to see they were glimmering with tears, a puzzling contrast to her loving smile. “I’ve missed you so much this week, Audrey.”

  “Oh sweetie, I’ve missed you too. Come here.” She lifted her arm so Marielle could snuggle against the length of her body, her head on her shoulder and her hand on her stomach. Audrey threaded her fingers through thick brown hair and wished she wasn’t too sick to truly appreciate the slow movement of Marielle’s fingertips on her stomach. “Tell me about your week while I’m awake.”

  Marielle chuckled before answering. “Nah, it can wait till you feel better. You should sleep.”

  “Oh come on, I’ve been sleeping all day. Talk to me. I want to hear your voice.” Audrey hoped Marielle didn’t mind how mushy illness seemed to make her and was reassured when she laughed again, this time more lightheartedly.

  When she started talking, her voice was pure honey. “Okay. Well, Felix is feeling one hundred percent better. That’s the most important thing.”

  “Great. I’m glad to hear that. What else?”

  “It was nice spending time with Sam’s parents. I hadn’t realized I missed them so much. Anne is a great cook, so I was spoiled…”

  Marielle went into details about the meals she had, and Audrey kept playing with the wavy hair as she listened. Marielle moved her hand in the air to accentuate her narration but put it back on Audrey’s stomach every time she paused. “Oh, and Sam has a girlfriend, but I understand you already knew that, didn’t you?” Marielle propped herself on her elbow so she could look Audrey in the eyes, but she never took her other hand from Audrey’s stomach.

  Audrey swallowed painfully. “Yeah, I knew. I’m sorry. I just didn’t think it was my place to tell you.”

  Marielle smirked and moved her hand to Audrey’s side to squeeze gently. “Relax, it’s okay. I’m just giving you a hard time.” She let her head fall back to Audrey’s shoulder before she continued, “It’s not like we were still together. And Sam did mention you warned him to tell me ASAP or else.”

  “Well, I didn’t exactly use those words, but I’m glad he got the message.”

  They laughed together, and Audrey immediately regretted it. She waited a few seconds for the pain to subside and took the hand resting on her stomach in her own. “Are you okay with him having a new woman in his life?”

  Marielle entwined their fingers. “Yes, I’m happy for him. He deserves to be happy, and I wasn’t the right person for him. He wasn’t the right person for me.” She let go of Audrey’s hand and moved hers up Audrey’s side to hug her. Audrey moved her own hand up Marielle’s arm to her shoulder and hugged her back as strongly as she could, despite her overall weakness. Marielle sighed contentedly, and they released each other from the hug. The silence that followed between them was so comfortable it made Audrey nervous. Marielle’s head remained on her shoulder, and she kept caressing Audrey’s stomach in a lazy motion.

  After a few minutes, Audrey relaxed and felt her eyelids grow heavier. “I think I’ll go back to sleep now.”

  “Good,” Marielle said in a sleepy whisper.

  “You don’t have to stay, you know.”

  Marielle’s hand stopped moving for a second and then resumed its grazing. “I’d rather stay and spend the night here with you. If that’s okay?”

  Audrey smiled before kissing the top of her head. “It’s more than okay.”

  They settled in for the night. Audrey barely noticed when Ralph jumped onto the bed and curled up by their feet.

&n
bsp; Chapter Seven

  Audrey went to the office on Monday, but the day proved to be one of the longest days of her life. She didn’t feel sick anymore but was still exhausted. She left work at six o’clock sharp and with the firm intention to go straight to bed, but she still smiled when she saw her brother’s truck parked on the street in front of her cabin. Her cell phone rang as she got out of the car, and she took Marielle’s call. “Hey.”

  “Hey. I kidnapped your brother. We were just waiting for you to get dinner started.”

  “Really? And what are we having?”

  “Chicken pot pie, mashed potatoes and salad. It’s all ready and waiting for you.”

  “I’m already halfway to your door.” She hung up and smiled as she walked the rest of the way, amazed at the burst of energy that suddenly took over her body. Hunger was another surprising but welcome feeling.

  Dennis opened the door before she could knock and hugged her. “Hey, sis! Thank God you’re here at last. Your neighbor has been torturing me with wonderful smells coming out of her kitchen but refused to give me anything before your ass got here.”

  “You’ll see it was worth the wait. How have you been?”

  With his usual casualness, Dennis told her he’d been doing fine while Audrey greeted first Ralph, who was certainly going to have a stroke if she didn’t pay attention to him right away, and then Felix. She’d missed him so much she shocked both of them by picking him up to hug him.

  “Hey, buddy. Feeling all better, I see. I missed you, you know.”

  He threw his arms around her neck and squeezed tightly. “I missed you too. Mom says you were sick just like me. Did you puke? It was gross, huh?”

  Audrey laughed, putting him back down on the floor. “Yes, I did, and yes, it was very, very gross. But your mom took great care of me.”

  As if on cue, Marielle approached for her own hug, a much more tender and thorough kind of embrace. Audrey hoped Dennis wouldn’t notice, but when Marielle pulled back and softly smoothed a strand of hair back behind her ear, Dennis gave her a teasing glance that made it difficult for her to concentrate on Marielle’s concerned expression.

  “How was work? You must be so tired.” She rubbed Audrey’s shoulders, clearly unaware of Dennis’s scrutiny.

  “Yeah, I’m tired, but I’m sure your chicken pot pie will fix everything,” she offered with a warm smile, efficiently sending Marielle back to the kitchen and putting some distance between them.

  “Right, you all get seated at the table and we’ll get started,” Marielle said.

  Once Marielle was out of sight, Audrey punched her brother on the shoulder and silently mouthed the words shut up. He answered with a shrug and a wink, and they made their way to the table, where Marielle was already distributing plates of enticing food.

  Dennis sat at the end of the table. Audrey and Felix sat next to him and across from each other. Ralph took his place under the table by Felix because he knew from experience that the boy was the most likely to drop some food during dinner. Audrey was convinced Felix dropped some of that food on purpose, seriously doubting a six-year-old could be such a messy eater. Amused rather than upset, however, she always let Felix think he was fooling her. When everyone was served, Marielle came to the table with her own plate and casually caressed Audrey’s arm as she sat by her. This type of physical contact had become instinctive between them, but it made Audrey uncomfortable in Dennis’s presence. And of course he caught every touch and every emotion.

  “This is delicious, Marielle,” he said. “I understand why my sister is here all the time.”

  Audrey winced, although she was sure she was the only one who knew Dennis was referring to her reasons for coming over that had nothing to do with the food.

  “Thank you. I’m glad you like it. And I like cooking for Audrey. She likes everything I make.”

  “I bet,” Dennis said with a grin.

  Audrey kicked him under the table. “How is your writing coming along?” she asked, changing the subject.

  “Good, making progress. Soon I may let you read some of it.”

  “That’s exciting,” Marielle said. “Audrey told me you were writing, but she didn’t tell me what.”

  “That’s because I don’t know anything besides the fact that it’s short stories. My brother is being very mysterious about it all.”

  “Funny you should say that. Actually I dropped the short stories and moved on to a mystery novel.”

  “Is that the kind with cops and bad guys and guns and all?” Felix asked.

  “Exactly.”

  “Cool!”

  They all laughed at Felix’s sincere enthusiasm before Dennis turned to Audrey. “Any news from the parents? Their anniversary’s coming up in a couple of weeks.”

  “No, nothing. Do they still plan on stopping by on their way to romantic Quebec City?” she asked with a hint of sarcasm.

  “Last I heard they did.”

  Audrey sighed heavily and started pushing her food around with her fork. She’d lost her appetite.

  “Hey, it won’t be that bad, sis.”

  “Easy for you to say. They love everything you do, they love Theresa…”

  “Well, maybe if you had a serious relationship they would learn to love that person too.”

  Dennis had raised his voice, and Audrey tensed up. Marielle immediately put her hand on Audrey’s back to comfort her. It was a brief touch, but of course Dennis noticed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to use that tone.” He smiled at Audrey and Marielle before continuing, “Speaking of relationships, how are things going with Véronique the almost-Italian woman?”

  Audrey dropped her fork, suddenly feeling ill again. She felt Marielle’s eyes on her and answered in a barely audible voice. “Very slowly. We don’t really have time to see each other outside of work.”

  Marielle’s entire body stiffened. “Véronique from work? I didn’t know you two were dating.” She was staring at her plate, and the light tone of her voice sounded artificial.

  Way to go, Dennis, Audrey thought. “I wouldn’t exactly say we’re dating. We went to lunch a couple times.”

  “I see.” Marielle grabbed her own plate and Audrey’s and took them to the kitchen. “Anyone want dessert? I didn’t have time to make anything, but I have store-bought cupcakes.”

  “Yes, please,” Felix said enthusiastically, clearly oblivious to the undercurrent of tension between his mother and Audrey.

  “Actually, I need to run, Marielle,” Dennis started, “but thank you so much for dinner. It was perfect.”

  He stood up and Marielle came to hug him. “You’re welcome. I hope you come back soon.”

  “I’ll walk you out,” Audrey announced, leaving the table to follow her brother. When they were outside, she had a hard time keeping her voice low when she said, “Are you happy now?”

  “A little, yes.”

  His honest nonchalance defused her anger as it always did, and she laughed. “You’re such an asshole. Why? Because I’m kind of dating Véronique?”

  Dennis took her hands in his and looked her straight in the eye. “No, never mind Véronique. You’re obviously not into her. I’m happy because no matter how straight that woman in there says she is,” he said, jerking his chin toward Marielle’s house, “she’s totally in love with you.”

  “Oh shut up, Dennis, how can you know that?” Audrey’s heart started racing.

  “Come on, sis, everything about her shows it. And you’ve been crazy about her since day one, so go for it.” With that, he kissed her on the cheek and walked toward his truck. Audrey watched him, catching her breath, not knowing what to do with her brother’s blessing. When the truck was out of sight, she went back inside, just in time to see the last of a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting disappear into Felix’s mouth.

  “Cupcake?” Marielle’s voice startled her. She was standing right in front of her and was smiling as if the earlier uneasiness had never existed.

  “Oh, no thank y
ou. I don’t think I can eat another bite. I should just go to bed. Thank you for dinner. And for feeding my brother too. It was very generous of you.”

  “It’s normal; he’s family.” Marielle’s eyes were suddenly deep and piercing, as if inviting Audrey inside her very soul. Overwhelmed, Audrey called Ralph and turned toward the door to leave, but Marielle grabbed her hand to turn her back around. “No, please don’t go. Stay here tonight. You take my bed, and I’ll join you as soon as Felix leaves with Sam.”

  Audrey was powerless to refuse the invitation. She let Marielle show her to her bed and took the cotton T-shirt she gave her to wear. Lying alone in Marielle’s bed, breathing in her familiar scent, she was left with the vague and unexplicable awareness that their relationship had just taken yet another turn. She heard Sam’s pickup truck pull in and out of the driveway, and soon Marielle was in the room. She changed into her nightgown and slipped into bed behind Audrey, spooning her as though it was the most natural thing the world.

  * * *

  As she drove to Marc-André and Suzanne’s house on Saturday with Felix in the backseat, Marielle’s thoughts were still on Audrey. They’d been on Audrey all week long as she tried to figure out how she was going to talk to her. Nothing came. When the jealousy Marielle had failed to feel at the news of Sam dating another woman had overpowered her entire being when she learned Audrey was dating someone, things had become clear. She didn’t want Audrey to date anyone else. She wanted Audrey all to herself. Period.

  Audrey had stayed overnight, and they’d slept in the same bed for the last few days, hers or Audrey’s, but she didn’t know how to take the next step. She didn’t really want sex, although she did enjoy touching Audrey and a rapidly growing part of her wanted to please her. But how was she going to do that? She’d hoped Audrey would make the first move, but she should have known better. Audrey was too respectful to try anything. It would have to come from her, but Marielle had no idea what to do. And what if Audrey really liked this Véronique person? What if all she achieved by trying to move forward was to ruin their friendship and lose Audrey? Then again, if she let that woman have Audrey, she would lose her all the same. She couldn’t lose Audrey. She wanted Audrey. All to herself. She’d taken a long time to reach that conclusion, but there was no turning back now.