High Heat (Hard Hitters #1)
Page 19
“You’d do that? Let me go to please your father?” The betrayal made his gut burn.
“Let you go?” Her arms stretched wide. “That implies we have something serious between us. You’ve promised nothing. I fight with my father, true, but this is my legacy. I grew up here. The stadium that the Thrashers play in is Dudley Field. It has my name on it. My great-grandfather founded this team, and a Dudley has run it ever since. I learned PR from my Uncle Frank. The team isn’t what it used to be. Ticket sales have been dropping for years, and I can’t abandon my family, my team, when it’s in trouble. When I have children, if I do, I want them to grow up being part of that tradition too. I want the team to still be there for them.”
“If they’re boys, they’ll be a part of the tradition,” Tom pointed out. “But what if they’re girls?” He hated to see her flinch, but the truth hurt sometimes.
“I don’t believe my brother will make that kind of distinction for his kids, or mine either. What do you have to offer me that compares to that? A call once in a while when you get horny?” She wiped away the tears that flowed freely, but she didn’t look sad. She looked mad. Furious, actually.
Fine. He wasn’t too happy with her either. He hadn’t been this pissed since he’d had to leave game seven and the team had failed to hold on to his lead.
“Oh, please. That leaves you right back where you were. Waiting for your brother to take over the team in the hopes that he’ll finally give you the job you want. You ought to want to break free. Of your father, and of this town—for yourself, if not for me.”
“Break free?” She spit out the words. “I’ve seen your idea of freedom, and it doesn’t impress me much. Dating the biggest bimbos you can find and leaving them before they wake up. Winding up on TMZ as much as you do on ESPN. If that’s your idea of freedom, you can keep it.”
“Being free doesn’t mean sleeping around.” Wait, where had that come from? For him, that was exactly what freedom had always meant.
Apparently she didn’t buy it either. “Oh, that’s how you’ve always seemed to take it. Did you see the interview Christina Caputo gave to ESPN? She said you got her into drinking and drugs.”
“Yeah, my agent called and told me about it. I’ll tell you the same thing I told him.” He waved his hand. “I don’t do drugs, and hell, nobody had to talk her into drinking. She’s full of it, and everybody knows it. She’s been a wild woman since I’ve known her.”
“It says a lot about you that you were with her in the first place.”
“Oh, come on.” He threw his hands up. “I worked my ass off on rehab when I was out. There’s only so many hours a day you can run, lift weights, and do physical therapy. So I had some fun, partied a little too hard. Who cares?”
“You’re on the other side of thirty, Tom. Recovering from an injury that could have ended your career. How long is the party going to go on?”
“It’ll end when I want it to end.” His stomach knotted. God, nothing like a lecture to make that same old defiance rear up in him.
She shook her head. “We aren’t a good fit for each other, Tom. We’re too different. We had some fun, but I guess that’s all it was. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to see that. For a while, I wondered …”
“Wondered what?” some demon prompted him to ask.
“I don’t know. I guess I had some stupid dreams that were bound to never come true. I had some time on the drive home to think about what mattered to me. I don’t want to be stuck in a dead-end relationship. The kind that lasts only as long as I don’t expect too much or ever make any demands. I want some commitment, Tom. I want permanence, and to know where I stand. I want someone to love and someone who loves me. Maybe I want kids and marriage someday. At least I want the option. I don’t want to always be afraid that you’re going to walk away.”
“I don’t do well with ultimatums.” Tom crossed his arms. Whatever he wanted out of this … thing they had going, he had to figure it out on his own terms, not because somebody threatened him. He liked Sarah a lot. Some days he thought he loved her. He didn’t know for sure, because he’d never been in love. But he sure as hell didn’t want anyone telling him what do to.
Some things never changed.
She shook her head. “I wasn’t giving you an ultimatum, but it’s sad that you took it that way.”
“You don’t want to waste your time with me, so you’re going to dump me for that guy who lives with his mom? Come on.”
“No, I’m not going back to Rich. I’ll be on my own for a while. It’s the way it needs to be. I can’t find someone who is right for me if I’m always involved with Mr. Wrong.”
The door buzzer sounded and he cursed. Of all the times. Who was it—Paul, to give him the good news of his fine? He went to tell whoever it was to fuck off. He yanked the door open and went still.
Holy crap.
“Hi, Tom. Can I come in?” Christina looked thinner than the last time he’d seen her.
What the hell? Just what he needed. Sweat broke out on his upper lip. “Christina, what are you doing here? This is a bad time.” He kept his voice low, hoping Sarah wouldn’t hear. He kept the door cracked only a few inches, calculating the odds that he could get rid of her before Sarah saw her and got the wrong idea.
“Why?” Her eyes sharpened. “You have somebody with you?” Christina looked young without her makeup, her tight black top and miniskirt leaching all the color out of her complexion. Her bleach-blonde hair hung around her shoulders in a tangle. She looked like hell, actually.
“Don’t worry. I won’t be staying long.” Sarah’s voice came from behind his shoulder, colder than frost. “Good-bye, Tom.”
“Wait!” He clutched at her arm as she shoved passed him, but it did no good. She simply fixed him with a glare and sidestepped Christina.
“Paul will call you later to officially notify you of the fine. Don’t give him a hard time. He tried to stand up for you.”
“At least someone did.”
Her eyes narrowed, and Christina looked back and forth between the two of them.
“Good-bye, Tom. Good luck in your last start. I know you’ll do well. You’ll be back in the big leagues before you know it.”
“Thanks.” He was on the verge of achieving everything he’d been working toward for the last year and a half, and damned if he knew why, but the idea left him cold and empty.
She nodded to Christina, who swallowed and nodded back. Sarah let herself into her apartment, leaving him to face Christina’s pleased smile.
“It didn’t take long for you to move on, I see. Then again, it looks like she’s not too happy with you. Maybe there’s hope for us after all.” When he didn’t answer, she looked past him. “Can I come in?”
He sighed and opened the door to let her in. She sat on the couch and he took care to sit on a chair next to it.
“There’s no hope for us, Christina. There never was. You shouldn’t want that anyway, to be the girl that a guy goes running back to because he’s been dumped. You can do better than that.”
Christina drew her arms in tightly around her body, almost like she was cold, but she couldn’t possibly be. Her grin faded. “You’ve replaced me already.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Christina, we’ve been broken up for months. I haven’t called you in forever. Of course I’ve moved on. The question is, why haven’t you?”
“Because we were so good together!” Her voice went high. “Remember how it was, Tom? When we walked into a club, the whole place stopped. All eyes were on us. Everybody wanted us at their parties and in their restaurants.”
He shook his head. That was her idea of being good together? “I don’t want that, Christina. I never did. I went along with it because you did, and it was kind of fun for a while, while I was rehabbing and out of baseball. But it’s not me. It’s you.”
“Tom, we were the power couple, the one all the paparazzi followed! My agent’s phone rang off the h
ook. How can you not want that?”
“I don’t know, Christina. I’m not sure what I want.” That wasn’t entirely true. He had a feeling that what he wanted was the angry woman in the apartment next door, but he had no idea how to go about getting her, or even if he should want her. He ought to be one hundred percent focused on getting back to the White Sox and getting that ring he’d always wanted. Unfortunately, what he ought to want and what he did want seemed to have no relation to each other.
Instead, all he could think of was Sarah. The tomboy exterior that hid a surprisingly feminine woman. Her habit of rolling her eyes and giving as good as she got whenever he tried to BS her. The way her dark hair swung around her shoulders when they made love, her eyes warm and surprised, as if she hadn’t known about the kind of passion they shared until they discovered it together.
“I don’t know what I want, Christina, but it’s not us. We’re over. We’ve been over for months, but now? How could you possibly think I’d take you back after you trashed me in the media? All those lies you told about how I got you into drugs.”
“I wanted you to notice me.” She bit her lip. “You didn’t return my calls whenever I left you a message. You were screening my calls, weren’t you?”
Why bother to be polite? “Yes. I didn’t want to get into a confrontation, and I guess I fooled myself about how seriously you still thought about me. I thought you were drunk-dialing because you were bored or lonely.”
Tears rose in her eyes but she wiped them away, sniffling. Her gaze broke. “Can I use your bathroom?” Her hand slipped into her pocket and fingered something there.
“Okay,” he said slowly. That was abrupt. He stood when she did, but she still wouldn’t meet his eye. Acting on instinct, he grabbed the wrist that had disappeared into her shirt pocket.
“No!” She twisted frantically to get away from him, which only served to heighten his suspicions. Pulling her clenched hand out of the pocket, he pried her fingers open relentlessly until he saw what rested in her palm: a tiny bag full of white powder.
“Jesus, Christina.” He reached into the pocket and pulled out three more bags.
“I need it, Tom. It calms me down.” Tears rolled down her face. She wiped one hand across her reddening nose. “Tom, no! What are you doing?” She followed him, clutching at his arm, but he ignored her, resolute. Being nice and waiting for her to get tired of him hadn’t worked. He was exorcising the Christina demon from his life forever.
He went to the kitchen and turned on the faucet, and then ran the tiny bags down the garbage disposal.
“You asshole!” she screamed and struck out at him. “Do you know how much that cost me! It’s all I brought with me!”
“Sounds like this would be a good time to quit, then. You need help, but I can’t be the one to give it to you. Talk to your dad. He wants what’s best for you. He can help you. I can’t.”
“I don’t want any help from you!” she raged. “So holier than thou, thinking you know what’s best for everybody. I’m glad I dumped you. I’m glad your new girl did too. The stuck-up bitch, did you see how she looked at me? Like she was too good for me, and too good for you too! That’s because we’re two of a kind, Tom! You’re going to realize that one day, but it’ll be too late.”
“Do you need me to call you a cab?”
“No, asshole!” She swung at him, but he ducked it easily. “I’ll do it myself. I don’t need anything from you.” She let the door slam behind her, fumbling in her purse for her cell phone.
He watched her totter down the front porch steps on her five-inch heels and sighed.
Christ, what a mess.
He knew who he wanted, but she didn’t seem to want him. Christina didn’t know what the hell she wanted, other than those little bags of white powder he’d obliterated. Sarah wouldn’t let herself go after what she wanted for fear of cutting herself off from her family and precious legacy.
Two of a kind. With Christina? God help him, he was beginning to wonder if it might be true.
***
“Thanks for meeting me, Tracy.” Sarah slid into a booth at the Ladybird Café and grabbed a menu. “What’s the special?” She spoke from behind the laminated plastic, not sure she could stand up to her friend’s scrutiny.
“Um, are you okay?” Tracy pulled down the edge of her menu and peered over it. “You sounded pretty upset on the phone.”
Damn. Apparently she couldn’t hide her feelings as well as she’d hoped. “Um, sorta. I don’t want to talk about it though.” Then why did you call up the closest thing you have to a girlfriend if you didn’t want to talk? “Not right now, anyway. Let me eat first.”
Tracy nodded. “Okay.” She hesitated, then bit her lip. “I can only stay for an hour though. A friend is going to pick me up for the game tonight.”
“Oh. I thought maybe we’d go together.”
“Sorry.” Tracy grimaced and said nothing. Something was clearly up.
“Hot date?” Sarah asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Tracy took on a sheepish expression. “Sort of, yeah.”
“That’s fantastic! I didn’t know you were dating anyone. Who’s the lucky guy?” At least someone’s love life wasn’t in the toilet.
“Promise you won’t get mad.”
Uh-oh. “Why would I get mad?” Realization hit like a lightning strike. “Rich?”
“Yeah. Is that okay?”
“Sure.” Her response was a reflex. It was okay. She and Rich had been a terrible mismatch. Still, the fact that he’d moved on so fast while her love life lay in smoldering ruins didn’t exactly make her happy.
Given the slim pickings in Plainview, she’d obviously be alone the rest of her life. Maybe she should get a cat. Or five. If you were going to be a crazy cat lady growing old and sad alone, you needed at least five.
God.
“Can I take your order?” The waitress, a girl who’d been a few years ahead of her at Plainview High, slammed down two glasses of water. Sarah stuck the menu back behind the napkin holder. “I’ll have the chef salad.”
“A burger for me,” Tracy said. “Medium well with fries.”
The waitress left and Tracy looked apologetic. “I hope you don’t mind about Rich. I was going to tell you.”
Sarah shook her head. “It’s totally fine. Rich and I were more like friends, anyway. Friends without benefits.”
Tracy blushed. “You didn’t have to tell me that. It’s not my business.” She took a sip of water. “But what about you and Tom? I’m sorry, but the way you guys looked when you were dancing together at the All-Star party … I thought you really liked him.”
“I did.” Why bother denying it? “I loved him.” Whoa. She couldn’t believe she’d said it aloud.
“What’s the matter, then? I know he cares about you too. What is the problem?”
“The problem is …” She waved her hand and let it fall on the table. “The problem is everything. He is not the kind of guy to settle down, not with me, anyway. My father is furious about our relationship. Tom thinks I should defy him, but for what? So I can be his booty call once in a while when he goes back to the majors?” She shook her head. “No. It’s not worth it.”
Tracy bit her lip. “I don’t mean to butt in, but I’ve never liked the way your dad talks to you. He doesn’t even give you a chance to do the job you’d be so good at, as a trainer or coach. Or even something in the front office besides PR.”
“I can change his mind. I will change his mind.” She’d said it a thousand times, but this time, she couldn’t bring herself to believe it. “I think so, anyway.” She sighed and rubbed her eyes.
“Are you sure? He seems set in his ways to me.”
“He is set in his ways.” She couldn’t let herself give up hope, though. Her dad was infuriated by her relationship with Tom. When he realized it was over, he’d calm down again and she’d have a chance of winning a better job in the organization.
If the notion was starti
ng to seem like desperately wishful thinking, well, she just wouldn’t think about that.
Tracy’s phone buzzed, and her eyes flickered to it, but she didn’t answer.
“Go ahead and take it. I don’t mind.”
Tracy lifted the phone and her eyes lit. “Hi, Rich,” she answered.
Sarah gazed out the window to give Tracy a bit of privacy. Rich’s call had never made her eyes light up like that, but to each her own. If Tracy wanted the town CPA, she should have him.
Only one man had ever made Sarah’s eyes light up. Unfortunately, he was behind her now too. She had to find a way to move forward, to find another man who could make that magic. One who actually wanted to stick around, to be with her, to share a life with her. One who knew what she wanted and wasn’t still hooking up with his ex.
One worth lighting up for.
She didn’t know who that man was, but she knew who he wasn’t.
Tracy ended the call. “That was weird. Rich talked to Roy Hibbing. You know, the guy who drives a taxi when he’s not cutting people’s grass or plowing snow? He dropped Christina Caputo off at Tom’s today!”
“I know.”
“You know? Oh.” Tracy flushed. The poor kid. She really didn’t like meddling in other people’s business, unlike ninety-nine percent of Plainview’s residents. That was one of the reasons Sarah liked her. “But that’s not the weird part! The weird part is that he picked her up again a half hour later, and she was madder than a wet hen. Cussed Tom up and down all the way back to the airport. She’d hired a charter plane to fly in, can you imagine?”
Sarah straightened in her seat. “Mad? Why was she mad?” Hadn’t she gotten what she wanted? What exactly had she wanted? Another crack at the man who got away? She couldn’t blame the girl entirely. Tom was a hard man to let go of.
“Apparently she didn’t get the kind of reception she was hoping for. Said she ranted all the way about how Tom had told her to go to rehab. She wasn’t a fan of the idea. Kept saying he’d run her coke down the garbage grinder.” Tracy’s eyes widened. “I don’t think she was talking about soda.”
Sarah blinked. Tom running an addict’s drugs down the disposal sounded … exactly like something he would do. She looked up to find Tracy staring at her.