Tortured Rake

by Sarah Morgan

  Not secrets, she thought. Insecurities. It wasn’t the same thing.

  Their eyes held and she felt the blood pound in her ears.

  But he had secrets, that much was obvious. And she suspected they were dark secrets. Secrets he didn’t share with anyone.

  What surprised her was how much she wanted him to share them.

  How much she wanted to provide a listening ear.

  He was looking at her with those spectacular eyes and suddenly talking and listening were the last things on her mind. It was obvious that he was thinking about that kiss. And so was she.

  Her pulse thudding dangerously fast, Katie put down her fork. Seeking a safe subject, she chose acting. ‘Tell me more about how you prepared for the part of Alpha Man.’

  She half expected him to refuse, but he relaxed back in his chair and proceeded to regale her with stories about filming. He was witty and sharp, his observations about his cast members so wickedly incisive that she found herself laughing even though she’d promised herself she wasn’t going to fall under his spell.

  He was such amusing company that it was only after the last of the plates had been cleared away that she realised he still hadn’t revealed anything personal. The whole evening had been spent talking about other people.

  ‘So, how about you, little Miss Talkalot.’ He leaned across and topped up her wine glass. ‘How did you end up designing costumes? School play?’

  Make me something to wear, Katie.

  ‘Way before the school play.’ She dismissed her sister’s petulant voice from her head. ‘I always loved costumes. Clothes. I used to make my own dolls’ clothes. We didn’t have that much money so I used scraps of fabric and old buttons from Mum’s sewing kit. I hovered around thrift stores, car boot sales—anything I could find. My friends and I used to play Hollywood.’ Afraid she was boring him to death, she broke off and took a sip of her drink.

  ‘You used to play Hollywood?’

  ‘We’d pretend we were a film studio. Martha was the director.’ Katie grinned at the memory. ‘She was the bossy one. Then there was Emily—she was the drama queen so she always had the leading part. Sally and Jenny took whichever parts Emily didn’t want.’ And then there was her sister, Paula. I have to be the princess. I’m the prettiest.

  ‘And you?’

  ‘I made everyone else look good.’ She gave a simple shrug. ‘All I ever did at school was draw and draw. We had a school prom and I designed and made everyone’s dresses. My parents wanted me to read English at university, but all I was interested in was art, fashion, the movies and theatre. That’s all I ever wanted to do and they were so good about it. Were your parents good about you wanting to be an actor?’

  ‘I never asked their opinion.’ His face was inscrutable.

  ‘I read somewhere that you left home at sixteen and went to Hollywood. That’s pretty young. My parents would have totally freaked out if I’d suggested crossing the Atlantic at that age.’

  ‘I had an opportunity. I took it.’

  ‘And your parents didn’t try and talk you out of it? Lucky you. I did my degree in London and my mum and dad were constantly worried about what would happen to me. Not that I’m complaining,’ Katie said hastily, ‘because at the end of the day you know it’s because they care. Yours were obviously pretty chilled about that sort of stuff.’

  His eyes glittered and he rose to his feet. ‘Goodnight, Katie.’

  ‘Oh, but I—’ Her mouth opened and closed because she was talking to herself. Nathaniel had gone.

  Katie spent the next few days poring over the script and making sketches.

  She saw virtually nothing of Nathaniel.

  After that first night, he’d kept his distance. They ate meals together and when he talked about films he’d made he was entertaining company, but she was acutely aware that he was acting a part. The part of host. He said nothing about himself and his conversation was delivered with the same air of bored mockery that characterised all his communication. The slightest attempt on her part to turn their verbal exchanges into something more personal was met by an impenetrable icy wall.

  Increasingly lonely, Katie took to hanging out with the staff. She befriended Ben and even went out fishing with him early one morning. She spent time with Sylvia and Kylie who cooked for them. Soon she was firm friends with everyone.

  Everyone except Nathaniel.

  ‘You talked to Ben for so long today he couldn’t get his work done,’ Nathaniel drawled one evening as they ate a delicious meal.

  Katie put down her fork, trying not to feel hurt.

  ‘We were chatting. Do you know he only gets to see his girlfriend once a week?’

  ‘Lucky guy.’ Nathaniel suppressed a yawn. ‘He gets the sex and none of the rest of the junk that comes with a relationship.’

  ‘Do you always have to be sarcastic about everything?’

  ‘Who says I’m being sarcastic?’

  Katie thought about his wicked reputation with women. ‘Haven’t you ever been in love?’

  He threw back his head and laughed, genuinely amused. ‘That’s a question straight from Katie-land where the sky is blue and the sun always shines.’

  Angry, she stood quickly, knocking over her chair in the process. ‘Actually, the sky isn’t that blue in Katie-land. I’ve had my share of problems. My life has bumps in it, just like anyone’s. Right now I’ve lost my job, thanks to you, and there is no way any bank is going to give me another loan when I don’t have work. Not that I expect someone like you to understand.’

  ‘So if it’s raining in Katie-land,’ he said softly, ‘why are you always so damned cheerful?’

  Katie picked the chair up and sat down on it slowly. ‘I don’t know.’ She bit her lip. ‘I suppose I just prefer being happy to being miserable. Over the years I’ve learned what cheers me up.’

  ‘Talking?’

  ‘Yes—’ she flushed ‘—I like people. I find people interesting and generally very warm and friendly. Human contact is what makes life OK when things are tough.’

  ‘Really? Generally I find it to be the other way round.’ His beautiful mouth curled. ‘Human beings are what make life tough when things are OK. I presume your need to talk and make friends is the reason you’re distracting all the staff.’

  ‘I’m not distracting them.’

  ‘Sweetheart, you’re virtually on the payroll.’

  ‘I’d love to be on the payroll! At least then I’d be earning some money. And it’s better than being lonely by the pool.’

  ‘Lonely?’ Black eyebrows rose in incredulous surprise. ‘How can you possibly be lonely? You’re in paradise.’

  ‘It’s only paradise if you have someone to share it with. What’s the point of spotting a gorgeous bird if you don’t have anyone to get excited with.’ Katie poked at her food. ‘Today I was reduced to having a long conversation with a lizard.’

  ‘I saw one unconscious on the path,’ he drawled, deadpan. ‘Now I know why. He’d been “Katied.”’

  ‘You think it’s funny, but I happen to like talking to people.’

  ‘I had no idea you were lonely. I thought you were working on my script.’

  ‘I am, but I work better when I have people around me. My creativity is totally stifled otherwise.’

  ‘You can talk to me.’

  ‘You’re hardly ever around. You avoid all conversation. You’re no fun.’

  A slow, dangerous smile touched his mouth. ‘Any time you want me to demonstrate how much fun I can be, just let me know.’

  ‘I don’t mean that sort of fun.’ Her heart galloped off at a frantic pace. ‘I mean the sort of fun you can have just talking to someone—’ She broke off as his phone buzzed. ‘Aren’t you going to answer that?’

  ‘No.’ He leaned towards her, those impossibly thick lashes shielding his gorgeous eyes. ‘There’s more fun to be had by not talking to someone.’

  Why was he ignoring his phone?

  ‘Stop playing game
s.’ Katie wiped damp palms over her shorts. ‘If we had sex, you’d really hurt me.’

  ‘I promise to keep my caveman tendencies under control and be incredibly gentle.’

  Her mouth dried and her cheeks flamed. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

  ‘I know what you meant.’ He leaned back in his chair. ‘Wicked, bad Nathaniel would bring thunderstorms to Katie-land. It could end in serious flooding.’

  ‘You’re mocking me, as usual, but I’d rather be optimistic than a cynic like you.’

  His phone started to ring again but he continued to ignore it and stood. ‘I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.’ He held out his hand. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been in a vile mood. Let’s walk on the beach. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a sunset on Wolfe Island.’

  Her gaze flickered to the phone, abandoned on the table. ‘Don’t you think you should see who was ringing? It might be important.’

  His fingers closed over hers, warm and strong. ‘Not as important as seeing a sunset.’

  ‘I’d love to see the sunset, but …’ With a final glance at the phone, she followed him down onto the soft, white sand that curved below the villa, telling herself that it wasn’t her business if he ignored his calls. Enjoying the beach, she stooped to pick up a shell. ‘I never imagined that anywhere as idyllic as this existed. How often do you come here?’

  ‘Whenever I need privacy.’

  Katie curled her toes into the sand, loving the warmth and the softness. ‘It’s lucky your brother owns it. It’s a great place for family gatherings.’

  ‘When I come here, it’s for solitude.’

  So he didn’t come here with his family. Deciding that she’d better keep her mouth shut on that subject, Katie walked in silence, clamping her lips together whenever she had the urge to speak.

  When they reached some large boulders that protected the next beach, he put out his hand to help her over. ‘The best view on the island is from here.’ He vaulted over the last rock with athletic grace and stood, powerful and strong, staring over the sea. ‘This is Turtle Cove.’

  ‘It’s beautiful.’ Slinging her bag down on the sand, Katie sat and rested her chin on her knees. ‘I did some preliminary sketches for your script, by the way. Just a few ideas. Might be completely wrong and not what you were imagining.’

  ‘Do you have them with you?’

  She reached into her bag and pulled out her pad, suddenly nervous. ‘They’re just ideas.’

  He sat down next to her and took her sketch pad. Silent, he flipped through the pages. ‘Brown?’

  ‘Yes, because in this scene she isn’t sure of herself. She doesn’t want to stand out. Then later—’ Katie leaned across and turned another page ‘—here, she’s wearing bolder, more flamboyant colours and everything is tailored because she isn’t hiding behind her clothes any more.’ Suddenly she realised what she’d done and she felt a flash of mortification. She’d made it personal. ‘If you don’t think it’s a good idea I can—’

  ‘I think it’s a great idea. I wouldn’t have thought of doing it like that. You’ve shown her character arc through costume.’ Nathaniel studied the drawings carefully. If he spotted any parallels, he didn’t comment. ‘They’re original. Clever.’

  ‘You really like them?’

  ‘Yes. Can you work up a costume plot?’

  ‘Do you have a computer I can use?’

  ‘You can’t do it the old-fashioned way with pen and paper?’

  ‘Yes, but it won’t look so professional and you won’t be able to email it to whoever you need to email it to.’

  ‘Good point. I’ll sort something out for you.’ He sprang to his feet and held out his hand. ‘Sun’s going down. If you want romantic, this is the closest you’ll get.’

  She didn’t want romantic, did she? At least, not with this man. She wasn’t that foolish. But after a moment’s hesitation she took his hand and let him pull her upright. The chemistry sparked immediately.

  She knew he felt it too, because she heard him swear under his breath.

  For a moment she thought he was going to ignore the heat, but then he hauled her into him and the searing burn of his mouth on hers melted the last of her inhibitions. Flames licked at her nerve endings and a wicked thrill shot through her entire body. She felt his hand slide to the base of her back and he pulled her hard against him, his other hand locked in the soft mass of her hair as he used his mouth with erotic purpose.

  His fingers massaged her scalp, his touch so inherently sexual that her excitement levels shot into overload.

  Her eyes flew open and she found herself staring straight into his.

  In that single moment she saw Alpha Man, the ruthless soldier about to possess the daughter of his enemy.

  Confused by that vision, Katie pulled her mouth from his. ‘No.’ It was hard to breathe. ‘This is … surreal. I look at you and I see the movie star, not the man.’

  He lowered his forehead to hers. ‘You just kissed the man, Katie.’

  She dragged herself out of his arms, and stepped backwards, the sand warm and soft under her feet. ‘I just assume you’re acting. Like earlier in the week—’

  ‘I wasn’t acting then and I’m not acting now.’

  Of course he was acting. He could act desire every bit as convincingly as he could act daring and dangerous. ‘You know how to look at a woman in a way that makes her feel beautiful. The scary thing is I know that, but it still works on me.’

  ‘Katie—’

  ‘And much as I’d love to tell myself that I’m stunning enough to attract the world’s sexiest movie star, one look in the mirror reminds me that I’m not. You can look at a woman like that and not mean it, I know you can. You do it on the screen all the time. When you kissed the daughter of your enemy in Alpha Man you were so convincing that I actually believed that the two of you must be together in real life because I just couldn’t imagine how you could look at her like that and not mean it.’

  ‘I’ve already told you I couldn’t stand the woman.’

  ‘I know.’ Katie gave a confused laugh. ‘Which shows how good an actor you are! And that proves my point.’ She ran her tongue over her lips, wishing she’d never let him kiss her. Now she just wanted more and she knew that if she allowed herself more she’d be in dangerous territory. Whatever she shared with this man would be scorching and intense, but it would also be fleeting and ultimately painful. ‘You made me come here because you were worried I’d talk to the press, so I’m here. But I don’t want to do anything else. I’d be crazy to let myself fall for that whole movie-star thing. Just because you’re bored and you’ve been deprived of your diet of Hollywood women, doesn’t mean you can use me as a substitute.’ Her hand shaking, she rubbed her fingers over her forehead. ‘I don’t move in the same world as you. Quick meaningless sex just doesn’t work for me.’

  ‘Have you ever tried meaningless sex?’ There was humour in those eyes. But there was also gentleness and it was the surprising gentleness that ripped at her self-control.

  ‘No.’

  ‘You should try everything once.’

  ‘In that case you should try opening up and trusting. You might find a meaningful relationship really satisfying.’

  Still holding her hands in his, he backed her against the rocks. ‘Right now I know exactly what I’d find satisfying.’

  Sandwiched between smooth rock and solid male muscle, Katie’s willpower faltered. Her body throbbed and ached and excitement was a tight ball in the pit of her stomach. Sexual tension pulsed between them, the heat so intense that it was like flying into the sun. She stared up into his face, trying to read those eyes ….

  As he lowered his head towards her, she thought about the week they’d spent together. He’d told her nothing about himself. She knew no more now than she had when she’d worked in the theatre with him.

  Katie planted a hand in the centre of his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under her fingers. ‘Are you ever yourself?’r />
  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘You’re playing a role. Do you ever play yourself, Nathaniel?’

  The change in him was almost imperceptible but it was there. Shimmering desire faded and his eyes were guarded. A tiny muscle flickered in his jaw and he watched her without speaking.

  Then he released her in a smooth movement and stepped away. The cynical, mocking look was back in his eyes. ‘We would have been good together.’

  Katie was glad she was leaning against the rock. Her knees were shaking so much she needed the support. Her hands ached to reach out for him, drag him back to her, lose herself in the heat of his mouth.

  But she wanted it to be real, and this wasn’t real.

  They’d spent a week together, but she knew she hadn’t spent a single moment with the real Nathaniel Wolfe.

  His head throbbing from yet another sleepless night, Nathaniel flung snorkelling gear onto the deck while Ben and one of the other members of staff loaded food and equipment.

  ‘Where are you going?’ A soft, female voice came from behind him and he turned to see Katie standing on the jetty. Her feet were bare and her hands pushed into a pair of shorts. Even from a distance, he could feel her tension. Her cheeks were pale and there were dark shadows under her eyes.

  Having spent most of the night wide awake in the hammock, it gave him some satisfaction to know that she wasn’t sleeping any better than he was.

  ‘We are going sailing. Given my misfortune of being trapped on this island with someone with your moral code, I need a distraction to take my mind off the total lack of meaningless sex.’ And a

  distraction to keep his mind off the new messages waiting on his phone.

  He picked up the final box and stowed it on board.

  Katie didn’t move. ‘I think it would be best if I stayed here.’

  ‘No, it wouldn’t.’ Before he could talk himself out of it, Nathaniel scooped her into his arms and deposited her onto the boat, keeping his eyes averted from her long, bare legs. ‘This is one of the best dive sites in Brazil. You’ll love it.’

  ‘You’re afraid to leave me here in case I tell someone where you are. What do you think I’m going to do, Nathaniel? Send up smoke signals? Even if I wanted to call someone, I can’t. You locked up my phone.’