I'm Yours (Bold As Love)

by Lindsay Paige

  I’m Yours

  A Bold As Love Novel

  Lindsay Paige

  Wallace, NC, USA

  © 2011 by Lindsay Paige

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and

  incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or

  used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living

  or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely

  coincidental.

  For information: http://authorlindsaypaige.blogspot.com/

  Printed in the United States of America.

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you readers for your interest in the Bold As Love series. I love Emily and Jake so much and I hope that you love them just as I do.

  Thank you Momma for being you. I don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you for all you do for me. I know there is no way I can repay you for all you have done for me. I appreciate you and love you so much.

  I would like to thank a few inspirations as well. Songs from artists such as Adele, Keith Urban, Tim McGraw, Train, Nickelback, Skillet, Jason Mraz, and many more have allowed me to feel what my characters were feeling when writing a particular scene.

  “Life ain’t always beautiful

  Sometimes it’s just plain hard

  Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

  Life ain’t always beautiful

  You think you’re on your way

  And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day

  But the struggles make you stronger

  And the changes make you wise

  And happiness has its own way of takin’ its sweet time

  No, life ain’t always beautiful

  Tears will fall sometimes

  Life ain’t always beautiful

  But it’s a beautiful ride.”

  -Life Ain’t Always Beautiful

  Performed by Gary Allan

  Songwriters: Cyndi Goodman/Tommy James

  Emily

  It’s March, six months since the photos were posted all over school. A lot has changed since then, but things are mostly the same. I’m still dating Jake and it’s wonderful. I feel more like my old self and I’m always having fun. Jake took me to the Fall Fling and I had a fabulous time. I got to dress up and see Jake all dressed up too.

  Christmas was spent at my house. Jake’s dad told him that he was going to be working on getting sober. He has made outstanding progress but Jake still takes Drake with him everywhere.

  Jake has taken me out on many dates, but my favorite is when he took me out for my birthday in October. We had a romantic dinner and danced the night away. It was on Valentine’s Day, though that I realized I loved him. I haven’t told him yet, of course. I’ve been digesting everything that happens to try and figure out if the feeling is mutual.

  I don’t want to say anything, yet. I don’t want to open myself up to that kind of hurt. I think Jake might love me. He showers me with constant affection and spends more time than ever with me. I’m just not sure. So for now, I’ll wait until he says something or I get the balls to say it myself. It might be a while though so don’t hold your breath over it.

  It’s spring break and Jake has been at my house all week. While Dad hasn’t let him stay over again since I was sick, he stays as late as he can. Sometimes Drake is here, sometimes he is with a friend. Today, he is with a friend and since my dad doesn’t get off for spring break, it’s just me and Jake. We are spending the day inside.

  Jake is lying behind me with one arm draped over my waist and the other under my neck on the couch. I have my arm over the one on my waist with my hand over his. We are watching That’s 70s Show when Jake starts feathering kisses down my neck and shoulder, pushing my shirt over to expose the skin. I tilt my head so he can roam wherever he likes.

  There’s a spot just behind my ear though that makes my insides turn liquid and Jake is taking full advantage of that today. Unable to take it anymore, I turn over to him and capture his mouth. His tongue lightly moves over my lips and I open up to him. His tongue brushes over mine and I take in the taste of him. My hand run down his chest to his soft spot.

  I lightly lift his shirt and trail my fingers over his abs. His moan is muffled by our kiss and after a few minutes of my fingers barely feathering over his skin he pulls away with desire flaming in his eyes. Our breathing is quick as he says, “You know you drive me insane when you do that.” He captures my hands in his. “Do you have any idea what that does to me?” I shake my head. He pushes me backwards and lays on me. He hands cup my face and ever so lightly his lips move over mine, driving me crazy with the desire to have them. I lean my head forward but he moves back each time I try.

  I finally lay my head back on the pillow and he continues his assault. His tongue just slightly trails over my parted lips and a sigh escapes. Quickly, I took my hand from his and grabbed his neck bringing his lips to mine fully. Everything about our movements displays urgency, passion, and a urge to fill our need without going too far. Jake’s large hands travel down my sides as his fingers slightly push up my shirt.

  His fingers tease my skin as I did with him earlier. A moan escaped me and I run my fingers through Jake’s jet black hair grasping it once I reached the nape of his neck. My back arched some when Jake’s fevered kisses trailed down my jaw and into my neck to the spot that was about to be the undoing of me. We were breathing heavily when I managed to tell Jake not to leave a hickey…again.

  After the first one that lasted a full week and I had to try and cover it up all week, I told him to be careful and not give me another one. Jake had turned it into a playful game to be creative and find spots that would set me on fire and hide a hickey. Jake chuckled against my neck before he abruptly stopped, propped himself on his elbows on either side of my head, and smiled at me.

  His powerful green eyes gazed down at me. “What,” I breathe out.

  He placed a gentle kiss on my lips and said, “You’re amazing, you know that?”

  “Depends,” I begin with a smile. “Are we talking about over all or my kissing skills?”

  He laughed and gave me another quick kiss. “All over. However, your kissing skills are quite exceptional.”

  A blush that I fear will never go away creeps onto my face. His smile broadens. “I’m so happy I can make you do that.”

  I moan and say, “I’m not.” He laughs and I let out at squeal as he rearranges himself to tickle me. “Jake! What did I tell you about this?” I say in between laughing.

  His face turns serious but he keeps tickling me. “You told me not to do it, which makes it all the more fun.”

  “Jake! Please, I can’t take it anymore. Please, I’ll do anything. Jake!”

  Suddenly his hands stop and his lips are an inch from mine. “Anything, huh?” he asks with a mischievous glint in his green eyes. I move my hands slowly down my side so I can grab his hands, but he catches them instead. “Trying to trick me, are you?” He holds both hands in one of his while he begins the tickling attack again.

  “Okay! I’m sorry! Anything!”

  His hand stops. “I would like a kiss,” he tells me. And here I was worried that he would have me do something crazy. I nod. He releases my hands and I place them on either side of his face.

  His cheeks are a little rough with a five o’clock shadow, but it turns me on to feel the stubble under my fingers. Gazing into his eyes, I trail my fingers down his cheeks and along his jaw. I move to his lips, letting my thumb slide over the plump lips. Placing my hands on the base of his neck, I move him towards me for a slow, sensual kiss.

  A few, long, wonderful minutes later, he pul
ls away with a smile. “I should tickle you more often if that’s the kiss I will get.”

  I laugh and push him back into the couch to roll over and watch TV. “I’m serious Jake. Next time, results will be deadly,” I tell him. He chuckles and places a kiss on the back of my neck.

  I let him pull me closer to him, allowing our bodies to fold into each other and I close my eyes to simply enjoy being held by him. “Hey, don’t fall asleep on me,” he whispers into my ear a few minutes later.

  With my eyes close, I smile and tell him, “No worries. I’m just enjoying myself.” Ten minutes later, I feel thirsty and ask if he would like something to drink.

  He declines and I go to get a bottle of water. The doorbell rings and I wonder who it could be. “Jake? Could you get that?”

  “Yeah,” he calls back.

  I grab my water and walk back into the hallway to see Conrad standing in the doorway. Instinctively, I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him

  “Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? How are you?” I squeal. He picked me up and hugged me tightly to him. I could feel the muscles I remember so well beneath me. I hear Jake clear his throat behind me and Conrad sets me down.

  “Well, hello to you too,” Conrad’s voice that had a hint of tenor in it says. I step back and take a look at him. He’s pretty much the same as I remember. Sandy blonde hair that’s ruffled from where he runs his fingers through it quite often. Blue eyes that sparkle when he smiles with his gleaming teeth. Conrad looked older though. More…manly. While he was slightly taller than Jake and where Jake was more lean and muscled, Conrad was more built than that. His jaw was strong and outlined his face, something I found extremely sexy. At that though, I returned to Earth.

  I turn to Jake who looks a little angry and say, “Jake, this is Conrad. Conrad, this is my boyfriend Jake.” I thought I saw a hint of disappointment and maybe jealously in Conrad’s crystal blue eyes. The men say a hello and shake hands. Jake wraps a protective arm around my waist. “Well, come in and have a seat.” Conrad shuts the door behind him and follows us into the living room.

  He sits in my dad’s favorite recliner to the right of us on the couch. “How did you find me? What are you doing here?” He gives me a lopsided grin that used to make my stomach turn…it still does.

  “I was wondering if I could talk to you privately,” Conrad saying, giving a pointed glance at Jake.

  “Is it that important,” I ask feeling Jake’s grasp tighten in mine. Conrad nods. I bite my lip at loss of what to do.

  “How long are you in town?”

  “Two weeks.”

  “Jake and I were enjoying the day to ourselves. Could I meet you somewhere tomorrow?”

  The grin falls and Conrad says, “Sure. I can come pick you up around noon, if that’s okay?” I nod. Conrad stands and I do too. “I’ll see you then, okay?” I nod. “I’ll see myself out.”

  “Bye Conrad,” I said to his retreating form. When the door closes behind him, I plop onto the couch. Jake is silence and just staring openly at me. All I can do is stare at the wall across from me as memories try to slam into me. I close my eyes and push those happy, love-filled memories away. “So that’s Conrad,” Jake says breaking the silence.

  “That’s him,” I confirm, glancing over at him.

  “What do you think he’s doing here?”

  I shake my head at a complete loss. “I don’t know. I never expected to see him again, much less have him show up at my door.”

  “Are you sure you should go out with him tomorrow,” he asks, pulling me to lean into him.

  I rest my head on his shoulder. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I? He’s Conrad.” Jake takes a deep breath and I resist looking at him.

  “Well, I mean, he’s part of the reason you were affected so much by your mother and you seemed so…happy to see him.” He struggled over the word happy.

  “He had no clue, Jake,” I whisper.

  “But he still dumped you out of the blue and broke your heart,” he said vehemently.

  I rest my hand on Jake’s thigh. “I know. I have to see why he’s here, though.”

  After a minute or two of silence, Jake says, “Okay” and kisses the top of my head. The rest of the afternoon is void of heated kisses, if any at all. We lay in each others arms on the couch and watch TV.

  Conrad

  I quickly make my way to her door, excited to see her again. I knock and Mike answers the door. A grin pops onto his face and he gives me a quick hug. “How are you doing boy? Emily mentioned that you were in town.”

  “I’m doing really well. How are you,” I ask as Mike ushers me into the living room. I take a sit on the couch as Mike sits in the recliner I occupied yesterday.

  “I’ve been doing well. Emily will be out in just a second.” I nod curtly and look at the room around me. Pictures of Emily and Mike are everywhere, along with pictures of Jake, Emily, and a younger boy.

  “How has college life been? You are in college, right?”

  I return my attention to Mike. “Yes sir. It has been hard work with a lot of fun mixed in of course,” I say with a smile.

  Mike laughs, “I remember when I was in college…”

  “Dad, no one likes to hear the stories of you partying in college,” says a voice that I have longed to hear for two years. I stand and turn to look at Emily, drinking in the sight of her.

  She is wearing jeans that flatter her legs and a green long sleeved shirt. “Hey Emily.”

  She gives a timid smile that she used to give me all the time and says, “Hello Conrad. Are you ready?” Straight to business like always. I nod and walk over to her, holding out my elbow for her to place her hand in. After hesitating for a moment her hand slides into place.

  “See you later, Mr. Johnson,” I call over my shoulder.

  “Have fun,” he returns. I open the door to my truck for Emily and close it behind her once she is safely inside. I walk around the front of the truck to my side and crank it. We back out and head to the one place I hope will make Emily remember us and our love. “Where are we going,” Emily asks once I’m on the highway.

  “To our place,” I say, glancing at her. The edge of her lips lift in a smile as she looks out the window. That small gesture gives me hope. “I’ll explain everything once we get there,” I add. She nods and we are quiet on the thirty minute drive.

  I find the old dirt road, leading to my uncle’s land easily. The driveway is surrounded by forest on both sides. I reach the end about two miles later, where a clearing awaits and park my truck under the lone tree near the pond. The picnic table is waiting just where we left it and Emily is out of the truck before I can get around to her.

  She walks over to the wooden table, looking completely mesmerized. Her fingers glide over the many carvings we made that are slightly worn from the weather. I stand and watch her as her fingers go over each and every mark in the table. When she finishes, she takes a seat on one side and I sit across from her. She takes a deep breath and locks eyes with me. Her brown eyes have a flint of gold in them that I always lost myself in. “So, the first thing I would like to know is how you found me?”

  “When I first came looking for you, I went to where you used to live with your mom.” She slightly winces at that last word. “No one was in the house and I found Stacey, who told me you moved in with your dad. Here I am.”

  “Why are you here?” Emily’s eyes examine my face carefully trying to see the reason there.

  I take a deep breath and tell her the partial truth. “I wanted to explain myself.” At that, Emily stands up and begins to pace back and forth in front of the bench she was sitting on.

  “Explain yourself?” she asks incredulously. “You drop me out of the blue like I’m trash you don’t want anymore and two years later, you want to explain yourself? Who do you think you are that you think you can just walk into my life after no word from you for two years? Not a phone call, an email, a text message, a letter. Nothing! And now, you want to cle
ar your conscious and tell me why you shattered my heart? You don’t even know what I’ve been through since you left me,” she ends her voice trembling slightly. She runs a hand through her hair and keeps pacing.

  “Tell me,” I quietly demand.

  She looks at me for a second and sits back down. “My mom was verbally abusing me for a month before you…left. After you did, I was devastated and soon I believed every word she told me. I was worthless, selfish, horrible, and completely worthy of hate and disgust. I was ugly and I never did anything right.

  “I thought she had to be at least partly true, since you just left. She would even use that as ammunition. Slowly, I stopped going to see my dad because my mom told me I couldn’t see him and he definitely didn’t want to see me. I withdrew into myself and hardly ever spoke. If I did, I would speak softly. She would pimp me out to her many boyfriends. One day, my dad stopped by to surprise me and saw what she had been doing to me.

  “I eventually moved in with him and started anew at Jake’s school. I lost all my friends and didn’t attempt to make any again. In late August, my life changed. Jake was assigned to partner with me for a project in English. I hoped he would let me do all the work and that he would leave me alone.

  “He didn’t. He made me talk to him and work with him. He came over to my house to finish the project and brought his little brother Drake with him. Around this innocent little kid, I felt safe and began to break out of the shell my mother put me in. Drake had taken with me and wanted to hang out with me. I begin to watch him after school while Jake practiced.

  “Soon enough, Jake was hanging out with us. He brought me back to who I used to be, who you remember me to be, and who I am today. After a late night run and a kiss, we’ve been together ever since. Slowly, he would try and get me to make eye contact and speak in a normal tone.

  “Then in September, my mom started calling me. After the first time, I let my dad talk to her. Ever since, Jake has been by my side and I’ve recovered extremely well from it all.”

  I sit in shock as I imagine how hard it must have been for her to go through all of that and to think that I wasn’t there when she needed me the most tore at my heart. I found little relief in the fact that Jake was there for her. I reach out a hand and place it over one of Emily’s. “I’m so sorry Emily. If I had of known,” I start but Emily cuts me off.