Fooling Around
Page 14
He bent up his good leg as his body tightened so much he was almost shaking as she fondled him. She couldn’t believe she was making him feel so good, but there was no denying that she was.
“Let’s get rid of these,” he rasped, pulling her panties down past her hips. She had to lift one leg and then another to get them off, but finally she was free of them.
She was leaning down for another kiss, but he stopped her, his eyes running up and down her body. “You’re totally naked next to the pool, beneath the night sky,” he murmured, a smile in his voice. “How does it feel?”
“It feels incredible,” she admitted, something wild and free sweeping through her at the realization of what she was doing. A little voice at the back of her mind hoped that Tim wouldn’t decide to come outside at the moment, but that voice was drowned in the thrill of the rest of her mind crying out in pleasure. “Incredible.”
“It definitely looks incredible.” He cupped her breasts again, as if he couldn’t stop touching them. “I can’t wait to see you come again.”
“Pretty confident, aren’t you?”
“Definitely.” He reached for the condom and ripped the packet open. She took it from his hand and rolled it on.
It took a little maneuvering to get into position, but she was finally able to lower herself down on top of him.
Both of them groaned at the penetration.
He felt big and full and tight inside her, tighter than anything she could remember. She gasped and clutched at his shoulders for support, being careful not to do anything that would impact his leg.
“Je—sus, you feel so good.” He was holding onto her bottom with both hands.
They held the position for a minute, trapped together on the cusp of action, overwhelmed by the intensity of the sensations. Then, finally, he muttered, “Oh, baby, you have to move now.”
She let out a breath and lifted herself slightly on her knees, starting to ride him slowly.
“That’s right,” he said, his eyes never leaving her face and body. “Just like that. Take me just like you want.”
She’d never done this before, but it didn’t feel awkward. Her body knew exactly what it wanted, what it needed, and she worked herself up to a faster, harder rhythm as the pleasure began to grow inside her.
He kept gasping out words of pleasure and encouragement, telling her how good she was, how good he felt, how much he wanted her to let go.
She was letting go—in a way that was new and thrilling. She wasn’t even self-conscious, even though she was riding him hard, completely naked, right there on the pool deck. Her breasts were jiggling wildly, and her hair was all in her face. She was hot and sweating and panting, and nothing had ever felt so good in her life.
He was pumping his hips slightly in time with her rhythm, his broken leg preventing anything more intense. His hands kept moving from her butt to her breasts to her face, as if he couldn’t decide where he most wanted to touch her.
“Yes,” he hissed, one of his hands finally sliding down close to where they were joined. “Take me just like that. Take me exactly as you want. Take as much as you want.” He found her clit and massaged it clumsily.
She almost screamed at the jolt of pleasure that sliced through her. Her back arched and she froze for just a moment as the tremors began inside her.
Then she was riding him hard again as the orgasm overtook her, sobbing loudly with pleasure, completely unconscious of who else might be hearing her.
Eric’s body had tightened like a fist, and he was starting to let go himself. He grunted loudly, animalistically, as he gripped her bottom and held her down on his erection, grinding his hips up into hers.
Her release was powerful, leaving her limp and exhausted. She collapsed on top of him, relieved when he wrapped his arms around her and held on tight.
Neither one said anything for a minute or two, until Julie’s body had relaxed deliciously and her mind cleared enough to know that there would be consequences spiraling out from what they’d done tonight.
At the moment, she just didn’t care. She’d done exactly what she wanted, and it had been even better than she could have imagined.
She straightened up, feeling a little flicker of pleasure when Eric’s arms resisted her pulling away from him. Taking a deep breath, she raised herself off him, swinging one leg over his hips so she could stand up.
She was sore and wet and hot and naked. She reached down for her nightgown.
“Are you regretting it already?” Eric asked, carefully taking off the condom and tying it off.
“No.” She took the condom after she pulled her gown back on. “Not at all. It was really good.”
“Yeah. It was.” He smiled up at her so appealingly she was hard-pressed not to crawl back into his arms.
But she was going to take this for what it was. A moment of pleasure that didn’t change anything else about her world. She had a job to do here, and she wasn’t going to indulge in silly fantasies.
That would ruin this, and she didn’t want it ruined.
She smiled back at him as she went to get his wheelchair. “You ready to go back upstairs?”
“I guess I have to eventually.”
“I can wait, if you want.”
He shook his head, his smile fading slightly, as if he’d been brought back down to earth just like she had.
She helped him into his chair and then back to the main floor of the house. She waited while he washed up and went to the bathroom, and then she helped him into his bed.
“How do you feel?” he asked just before she left the room.
She paused, surprised by the question. Because she hadn’t been expecting it, the only thing she could tell him was the truth. “A little weird, but good. No regrets.”
“Good.” He smiled. “Me too.”
—
Eric stayed awake most of the night, thinking about Julie, reliving their time together next to the pool.
He’d had good sex before. Plenty of good sex. There was no logical reason why sex with Julie had overwhelmed him so fully, but it had. He was consumed by it, remembering every detail like it was some erotic, vivid dream.
He understood that she’d changed her mind and decided to come back to him because she was daring herself to be different, breaking through the walls with which she’d been guarding her life. So in reality it might not really be about him. It was about the act of doing it at all.
But she’d chosen to spread her wings with him, and that must mean something.
He felt like his hands were tied, though. Not just by his broken leg, which seriously got in the way of his doing what he wanted, but also by the fact that Julie was working for him.
He really shouldn’t have slept with her at all. It was wrong on more levels than he could count, which was why he’d never crossed that line before. He didn’t believe she would sue him. Nor did he believe she’d been coerced into it in any way. But that didn’t free him from the responsibility.
What were people supposed to do, though, when they fell for someone who worked for them? Obviously he couldn’t fire Julie. He didn’t want anyone else to be his assistant for the time being, and he’d promised her the money.
He could just give it to her and release her from the contract, but then she would feel like he’d paid her off for sex.
So he was stuck. Wanting desperately to be with her again but not having any clear path to doing so.
If he’d been smart, he would have stopped himself before it went too far. It would have been a lot easier to hold back if he didn’t really know what he was missing. But that just wasn’t like him. If there was something he wanted, he took it—as long as both parties were agreeable, why shouldn’t he? He didn’t believe in self-sacrifice.
So all night he thought through the situation and relived his time with Julie, finally deciding he’d have to wait until the morning and take his cue from her.
He’d do whatever she was most comfortable with, even if it m
eant restraining himself.
After all, he wouldn’t have to hold off forever. Their contract was almost halfway over now.
The next morning, Julie sent Tim in to help him get up and get to the bathroom, which Eric didn’t think was a very good sign.
She was starting to regret it. She was getting scared. She was going to back off.
He prepared himself for this likelihood as he got dressed. When he rolled out of his room at last, he found Julie standing over the stove. She was fully dressed, but more casually than usual in a sleeveless top and tan capris.
“I felt like pancakes,” she said, smiling at him and stepping over to pour him a cup of coffee.
He studied her closely as he sipped it, trying to read her expression. She looked calm and natural—even rather friendly—but it felt to him like a front, not what she was really feeling.
She was definitely going to take a step back.
When he didn’t reply to her comment, she gave him a sharp look. “Do you want any?”
“What?”
“Pancakes?”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure. That would be great.”
She nodded and smiled and flipped her pancakes, and none of it felt real.
Tim ate with them, so they had only casual, brief conversation over breakfast. When Tim finally went downstairs, Julie got up to do the dishes.
Eric moved his chair over closer to her. “So,” he asked in a low voice, “are you going to tell me what you’re thinking?”
“About what?”
He gave her an impatient look.
She sighed and her smile faded. “I don’t regret it,” she began.
“Good, because I don’t either.”
“But it makes things really complicated between us, so I think we’ll be better off just pretending it never happened.”
Eric had vowed to go along with whatever Julie decided, but he wasn’t happy about this plan at all. “You think that’s really possible?”
“Yes, I do. Obviously, we might think about it occasionally, but it doesn’t have to interfere with our working relationship. That’s what’s most important here.”
“Why is it most important?”
She arched her eyebrows. “Because we have a contract. And, as far as I know, neither one of us wants to change the conditions.”
She had a point there. “Yeah. I guess so.”
“So it’s either have things get really weird between us, so much so that it’s impossible for me to do my job, or pretend it never happened. I vote for the latter.”
Eric was sure there must have been some other options, but she had to be the one to make the decision here. Anything he said might be read as coercion or putting pressure on her. “You know you have your job no matter what. I’m not going to take it away from you, for any reason.”
To his surprise, her expression softened slightly. “I know that. I know you’re not that kind of man. But things will still get weird between us if we don’t put this aside.”
“Okay,” he said. “I understand and I agree.” He didn’t agree with wanting it, but he agreed to doing what she wanted. He wasn’t going to forget last night had happened, but he wouldn’t bring it up in any way with her until their contract was completed. “Last night never happened.”
“Good.” She nodded, for the first time looking a little self-conscious. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So what do you want to do today?” she asked.
He wanted to drag her back into his arms and take her until she was screaming as uninhibitedly as she had last night.
“I might go fishing.” It might be a little complicated in the wheelchair, but he was sure he and Tim could figure out some way to get him down to the beach.
“Oh. That sounds good and relaxing.”
Not as relaxing as having a few good rounds of sex would be.
He cleared his throat. “It’s a plan, then.”
Chapter 9
The next few days were better than Julie had expected. She actually enjoyed herself, as long as she kept herself from thinking about having sex with Eric.
They went fishing in the mornings—at least, Eric and Tim fished. Sometimes she fished with them, and other times she relaxed on the beach and occasionally helped Eric out when he needed it. In the afternoons they took it easy by the pool, and they ate most of their meals outside. In every way it was what a relaxing beach vacation was supposed to be. Even though she was supposed to be working, she felt more rested by the end of the first week than she had in years.
She worked hard to be pleasant and natural with Eric, and she managed to keep her thoughts from straying to dangerous places too much. Eric was in a better mood himself—either because he was trying to be good or because he was enjoying the break.
Either way, they didn’t talk about what had happened between them next to the pool, and there weren’t even any wrong touches or looks.
Julie was relieved. She genuinely was. Maybe occasionally she missed the heat that had smoldered between them, but most of the time she knew it was better this way.
Eric wasn’t for her. And she would never get through the remainder of her contracted time with him if she indulged in sexy thoughts about him.
—
On Saturday, a week after they had arrived, they were sitting by the pool in the afternoon again.
Julie had moved to the shade, since she’d gotten slightly burned the day before and she didn’t want it to get worse. It was the first week in June, and the air was hot, but not as humid as it often was. In the shade of an umbrella, she was perfectly comfortable, and she ended up dozing off.
Eric was two chaises away. When she fell asleep, he was watching sports commentary on the television over the bar, but when she opened her eyes, he was looking at her, rather than at the TV.
“Oh, hi,” she said, straightening up and hoping she hadn’t been snoring or doing anything embarrassing. She patted her hair and pulled her cover-up down over her thighs. “Did you need anything?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“You should read. It would be more relaxing and entertaining than staring at sports all the time.”
“I don’t have the patience for reading.”
“You could listen to audiobooks. My mom and I used to do that all the time.”
“What about your dad?”
“He usually stuck to watching TV.” She paused, looking at Eric’s big, tanned body on the chaise. “Are you miserable, stuck being immobile like this?”
He shook his head. “The afternoons get long, but the rest of the time is fine. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.”
She smiled, partly to herself. Spending these two weeks at the Outer Banks hadn’t really been her idea, and they were certainly not her responsibility, but she still couldn’t help but feel she’d done her part to get him here, and she didn’t want him to be miserable or bored.
“Are you bored?” he asked.
“Not really. I like to read, and I like to fish, and who doesn’t like hanging out by the beach or the pool? I’ve got no complaints.”
“Are you bored back in Charlotte?”
She gave him a little smile. “You make things interesting enough to keep boredom at bay.”
He smiled back, causing a warmth to wash over her. At least they were getting along. They might not have another passionate night together, but at least they could be friendly, at least he still let her into his life in some way.
“What would you be doing if you weren’t working for me?” he asked. He had a half-drunk beer beside him. She’d gotten him one after lunch, and he hadn’t even finished it. He wasn’t really a big drinker, unless something was bothering him deeply.
“I don’t know,” she said, telling him the truth. “I’d come to an ending, with my mother dying, so everything would have changed. But I’m not exactly sure what it would have looked like.”
“Would you go back and finish your PhD?”
“I don’t know. That would make the most sense, but it’s been so long now. It would be really hard to get the momentum back.”
“What momentum?”
“The energy. The thought processes. The depth of reading and thinking and writing I’d have to do. It’s really a different mindset, and it’s kind of hard to just put it on and off like that. Plus, it just seems like such a huge, painful enterprise. I don’t know if I would have gone back.”
“Why did you start the program to begin with?”
No one had ever asked her that before. The question gave her pause, as she searched for the real answer. “I used to look at my professors in college and say, That’s the life I want. I wanted to do what they did. The only way to do it is to get a PhD.”
“Do you still want to be a professor?”
“Y-yeah. I think so.”
“Then you should go back to graduate school.”
She stared at him, wondering how he could sound so matter-of-fact about something so hard.
He blinked. “Shouldn’t you? I mean, isn’t that the obvious way of getting to where you want to be?”
She gave a wry chuckle, the irony directed inward. “Yes. It’s the obvious way. But it’s not always that easy, you know.” After a pause, she added, “I used to daydream about myself as a professor. What I’d say, what I’d wear, what my daily schedule would be like.”
Eric was looking at her closely now. “Like the picnic daydreams?”
“Yes. A lot like that. A vision of myself I wanted but that I secretly knew would never happen.”
“But neither of those things are unattainable, are they? Surely you could go on a romantic picnic sometime in your life. And to get your PhD, all you need to do is finish your dissertation.”
“I’d need to start my dissertation. I never even started.”
“Okay, so you start it and then you finish it. You’re certainly capable of doing it. Why do you think it’s so impossible?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I really don’t know. It just always felt like a fantasy, and not who I really am. Neither of my parents even went to college.”