Having Faith (Cold Bay Wolf Pack Book 1)

by Dena Christy

  She gave a soft shake of her head. “I think I just want to sleep. But thanks so much for everything.”

  “Do you need anything before I go?”

  “No.” She offered him a tired smile. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with him. There was little chance that Bill would have rocked her world while planning to be with another woman.

  “Things have a way of working themselves out. I’m sure things will look better in the morning.”

  “Night Bill.” She eased the door shut, locking it and drawing the chain across the door. She looked at the empty double bed beside the one that Connor was occupying. She felt bone tired but doubted that she would be able to sleep.

  She went to the closet to get an extra blanket off the shelf and covered Conner where he lay on top of the bed. She wanted to take off his shoes but was loathed to disturb him. He’d had what was probably the worst day of his entire twelve years, and sleep was what he needed now.

  She shut off the light and sat on the edge of the other bed. She laid down and stroked her hand over her belly. She had no idea if there was a baby in there. The test still sat in her purse but she didn’t want to take it. Not now at least. She had more than enough going on without adding the reality of having Logan’s baby.

  She closed her eyes, but her mind ran round and round. Sleep wasn’t going to come, that was certain but she didn’t want to get up and move around. Should she have stayed and tried to listen to him? He’d tried to talk to her, tried to tell her that he wasn't going to be with that Grace woman but she couldn’t get past the fact that he had planned to be with her for a good portion of the time he spent sleeping with Faith. She felt like a fool for believing that they were building a family together and had gotten her back up when he’d accused her of looking for a reason to leave. Was that true? Deep down had she been going through the motions of building a life with him, while always being ready to bolt if things didn't work out the way she wanted?

  She wanted to deny it to herself, but there was a part of her that suspected that he was right. Why else would she have shared her plan to stay in town and start a business with Bill instead of Logan? If she was really serious about building a life for her and her son here with him, why had she never once talked to him about a future together? Logan may not have talked about the future but then again, neither had she. Trust was a two way street, and how could she expect him to trust her enough to share his life with her when she wasn’t willing to do the same.

  She sat up in the bed and made her way over to the small table by the window. The curtains were closed but they were thin enough to allow some light from the outside in the room. It was no use pretending to go to sleep because as tired as she was, as emotionally drained as she was, her mind wouldn’t shut off. It kept playing a different scenario, one where she told Logan a lot sooner that a fling wasn’t what she wanted. That what she wanted was a permanent place in his life. If she’d shared that with him, would he in turn have shared his troubles with her? She still had no clear idea what the trouble with his pack was. He may not have shared it with her, but had she ever given him any indication that she was interested?

  She sighed as she propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her palms. She couldn’t let it end this way. The truth was she was in love with Logan, that was why the thought of him with someone else had torn her apart inside. They’d both kept things from each other, and she was still keeping a secret from him.

  She didn’t want to raise this baby or her son with Logan’s part time involvement. This baby deserved to have a permanent place in its father’s life, just like Connor did. And more than anything else, now that she could see things a lot more clearly, she wanted a permanent place in Logan’s life too.

  She sat up and felt like a weight had been lifted from her. Connor was sleeping and she wouldn’t disturb him so late. But first thing in the morning she was going to talk to Logan. She was going to work this out with him. There was no way she was going to give up on her family without a fight.

  She stood to go to bed now that she had a plan when she heard the sound of a vehicle on the motel’s gravel parking lot. Maybe Bill had forgotten something and was coming back for it? But it didn’t sound like Bill’s car. Bill drove a new sedan and it was in good condition. This vehicle sounded older, bigger, as it rumbled for a second then went silent. Maybe there was a traveler come to get a room?

  Her eyes darted to where Connor lay sleeping on the bed.

  “Just calm down. It’s just someone looking for a room. They’ll go away when they realize there isn’t anyone in the office.”

  She stood there listening quietly and clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle a scream when she heard the sound of a door smashing some distance away. She went to the window and moved the curtain over a crack. It took some squinting but she could see who was out there and as soon as she saw the older one she knew that they weren’t travelers looking for a room.

  The man she recognized was Logan’s father and there could be no good reason for him to be here with his younger companion unless it was something sinister. She and Connor were the only occupants of the motel. She’d only met Logan’s father once and he had given her the distinct impression that he was not impressed with his son hooking up with her. The fact that he’d not told Logan about her pregnancy in all these years showed that he hadn’t exactly warmed up to the idea of his son having a child with a human.

  She jumped as another door smashed in. She’d picked the room furthest away from the office, and they had started on the one closest. Her mind didn’t want to believe that they were after her, and she fought down the panic that wanted to freeze her in her place. She had her son to think about. If these men were here to hurt them, she had to get him up and out of here.

  Bang. Another door smashed, and she turned away from the window. There was no way she could take Connor out the front door, they’d see them for sure under the outdoor lights that illuminated the row of rooms.

  “How do you even know that the human cunt is here?”

  Faith flinched as the sound of one of their voices, the young one she suspected, came to her. They weren’t exactly making an effort to be stealthy, but then why would they. They were both werewolves and would have no trouble subduing a human woman and a twelve year old. Perhaps they were hoping if they were loud enough she’d drag herself and Connor out of the room in the hopes of getting away, thereby making it easier for them to catch them.

  “Her car is in the parking lot. Just shut up and let’s find her.”

  That was all she needed to hear. She and Connor were getting out of here, and the window in the bathroom was their best bet. Why had she been so stupid to runaway from Logan and come to an empty motel with her twelve year old son?

  15

  Logan righted his overturned desk and looked around his office. It was in shambles, what with all the books from the overturned bookcase and everything that he’d had on top of the desk when he’d sent it flying. It was going to take a while to clean up the mess, and he gave a bitter laugh. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do.

  There was a knock on the door, and he figured that someone had heard the crashing that had gone on in here hours ago and were finally coming to investigate. They probably thought he’d calmed down enough for it to be safe for whoever to come in.

  “Fuck off.”

  He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, but whoever was on the other side of the door didn’t appear to care. It opened and Mason walked in. He stood stock still for a moment as his eyes swept around the office. He shoved a couple of books aside with his foot and closed the door.

  “What the hell happened in here?”

  “Nothing.” Logan turned away to set the bookcase back in it’s place. He didn’t want to talk about this, he didn’t want Mason to know that he’d failed with Faith. “Tell me what you want and get the hell out.”

  “I talked to the boys who were fighting with Connor and found out
what it was about. I came here to give you a heads up but from the looks of things you’ve already talked to Faith and it didn’t go well.”

  Logan threw aside the book he’d been in the process of putting back on the shelf and turned toward his best friend. Mason had the worst fucking sense of timing, coming here to warn him after the shit had hit the fan.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you call me when he got in the fight? He’s my son and I should have been the first person you called.” If Mason had called him, he could have done damage control, but now of course it was too late. He raked his hand through his hair. It didn’t matter, Faith was gone and it was for the best. Now he could focus all his attention on what he needed to do for the pack. “You know what? Forget it. As you can see, Faith and I are done so you can go now.”

  “You can’t possibly be trying to put this whole mess on me? I’m not the one who hooked up with one woman while intending to commit to another.”

  “It wasn’t like that and you know it.” Logan turned on him and curled his fingers in toward his palm. There was still a lot of anger inside, most of it directed at himself, but if Mason didn’t get out of here he was soon going to find himself on the receiving end. Mason’s eyes went down to Logan’s fists and his lip curled as he took a step forward.

  “You want to go? Do you think that’s going to solve your problem? If you want to fight, I’ll fight you and you might win. But I guarantee you that it’ll be a while before you can go after your woman once I get my licks in.”

  Logan stared at Mason and while it would be satisfying to get out some of his frustrations with physical violence, it wouldn’t help what was wrong inside him. He uncurled his fists and turned away. “I’m not going after her.”

  “Say again? Your woman, the one who it’s plain to anyone with eyes that you’re in love with, walked away from you and you are not going after her.”

  “That’s right. What would be the point? Me and a human, it wouldn’t work. If it hadn’t happened now, it would have happened eventually. I would have spent all my time waiting for her to walk out the door and she would have spent all her time looking for the opportunity.”

  Despite her saying that she forgave him for walking out on her that night thirteen years ago, she’d obviously been waiting for the first opportunity to bail. She might have been willing to stay here past the summer, but they were both fooling themselves. Something would have happened eventually and it would have been all over.

  “You stupid son of a bitch.”

  Logan spun around to face Mason. Didn’t this bastard realize how close he was to snapping? He was the stupid one if he thought he could talk to him like that and emerge from this office unscathed.

  “Are you looking to get your ass kicked? You think that’s any way to talk to your alpha?”

  “I’m not talking to my alpha right now. I’m talking to my cousin and best friend. And right now you sound like a stupid son of a bitch.” Mason’s eyes narrowed for a second. “Actually you sound just like your dad.”

  “You’re crazy. Look, I’m done talking about this, so get the fuck out of my office. And that is your alpha talking.” Mason crossed his arms in front of his wide chest and short of physically pushing him out the door, there was no way Logan was going to get him out until he’d had his say. “Fine. You got something to say, say it.”

  “You need her. You fucking love her.” Logan shook his head. He really didn’t want to hear all this. “Don’t deny it.”

  “Okay, so what. I love her. Love isn’t all rainbows and fairy dust that will make everything work out fine. You of all people should know that.” It was a low blow and Logan regretted it when he saw Mason’s face pale and his eyes narrow.

  “We aren’t talking about me. I know your mom leaving had to hurt, but you gotta let it go. I think your mom going had nothing to do with her being a human mated to a werewolf and everything to do with your dad being the selfish, self absorbed bastard that he is. You know your dad better than anyone. Do you honestly think that Mike Sawyer is an easy man to love?”

  Logan’s mouth tightened. “My mom and dad have nothing to do with Faith and me. In case you missed the memo, she walked out on me.”

  “Of course she did. You fucking lied to her, man. Did you think you could hide a secret as big as the one you were sitting on in a town like this?” Mason sighed and unfolded his arms from over his chest. He scrubbed his hand over his face. “You know what I think? I think a tiny part of you, the one that believes every bit of poison your father has dripped into your ear over the years, expected this to happen. That’s why you were hedging your bets. But it’s time to man up.”

  Logan looked down at the floor, knowing that Mason was right. He had been hedging his bets by telling himself that he’d go ahead with mating with Grace even after the first time he slept with Faith. Years of hearing life according to Mike Sawyer must have stuck with him and deep down he’d believe that there as no way things could work between him and Faith. He’d been lying to himself all summer, telling himself that what was between him and Faith was just about sex, was just a fling. Faith may have walked out on him but he had been the one to push her out the door.

  “I hurt her, Mason. How am I supposed to come back from that? How am I supposed to get her to trust me after all this?” Logan raked his hands through his hair. Just because he wanted to make things work with her didn’t mean that she wanted to make things work with him.

  “I have no idea but I do know love isn’t easy. I know what it’s like to love someone to the very bottom of your soul and have it go to shit. And I’m telling you that if you let her go now you’re going to be walking around with a hole inside you for the rest of your life.” Mason looked away and Logan knew he was thinking about Grace. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell him that he needed to take his own advice but that was something Mason needed to figure out for himself. “If you let her go I want you to take a good look at your father, because that is what you will become without her. You are ten times the man, ten times the father that Mike Sawyer ever was. So man up and don’t be him. Connor deserves to have a family, Faith deserves to have a family and so do you.”

  Logan cleared his throat. Faith and Connor were his family, and he would fight to get them back. He would go to her on his knees if he had to, he would do whatever it took to get his family back.

  “Thanks, man.” Logan held his hand out and Mason gripped it tight. Logan gave a tug and hugged his cousin, with both of them clapping each other on the back before stepping apart. “You know if the boxing thing doesn’t work out you should set yourself up as a marriage counselor.”

  Mason shook his head with a laugh but it was enough to ease the tension between them. He turned toward the door and paused with his hand over the knob.

  “Do you hear that?” Mason cocked his head as if he was trying to listen for something, and Logan stood still for a moment.

  The normal hum of voices and music coming from the bar on a Saturday night was conspicuously absent. Things had been jumping enough for Logan to hear it when he’d been arguing with Mason, but it was now like someone had hit a mute button.

  “All I hear is a whole lot of nothing.” Logan’s body hardened with tension. It took a lot to make the bar silent like that, and whatever was happening out there couldn’t be good.

  Faith rushed over to where Connor lay sleeping, oblivious to the danger he was in. She shook him, and when he made a startled noise, she put a gentle hand over his mouth and raised a finger up to her lips.

  “Connor, baby, you and Mommy need to get out of here now. I don’t want you to be scared but there are some bad men outside.” She eased her hand away from his mouth as his eyes widened. “I need you to be a brave boy. Can you do that for me?”

  In the dim light her son swallowed hard and nodded his head. “What are we going to do?”

  Connor jumped and made a startled noise when a crashing sound came to them as Logan’s father and his companion smashed op
en another door. She was pretty sure their intent was to terrify her, and make her bolt out the front door of their room. She was frightened, more than she’d ever been in her life, but she had to be strong. Connor was trembling in the bed, and she had to be strong for him. The most important thing was getting him out of there, and she thought she had a way for him to do that.

  “We’re going to go in the bathroom. There is a window in there. We can’t go out the front door, they’ll see us.” Faith took Connor’s hand as he scrambled out of the bed, and she was grateful that he saw the necessity of moving quickly.

  They got in the bathroom, and she shut the door, turning the flimsy lock. It wouldn’t keep the men after her at bay but might buy her a second or two to get her son out of danger.

  She flipped on the overhead light and her eyes darted to Connor’s face. He was as white as parchment and she could clearly see the terror in his eyes. He took a deep breath and gave her a trembling smile. “What do you need me to do, Mom?”

  She wanted to hug him and tell him how much she loved him. He was being so brave and there was so much of his father in the determined look that came over his face that it made her ache inside. But there wasn’t time for that, and she didn’t want to give Connor the impression that he was not going to see her again.

  “I want you to go out the window and I want you to run. I want you to go to the bar and get your dad. If he’s not there, someone will know how to find him.”

  His eyes darted to the window and then back to her. “But what about you? Aren’t you coming?”

  “I won’t fit through the window. You need to go. You need to be the brave boy I know you are and get your dad.” What she didn’t add was that even if she could have fit through the window, she would not have gone through it. Right now she had no idea what these men’s intentions were, and her son was her most important consideration. Connor needed to get away, and if they both went out the window there was a greater chance that the men would catch them trying to flee the motel. She was certain that she was the true target of all this and they wouldn’t look too hard for Connor if he wasn’t in the room with her.