Always Forward

by Ginny Dye

  ********

  Thomas was laughing at something Abby had said when Carrie saw Mark Jones straining his head above the crowd. Her first thought was joy to see him again, but she quickly realized he was in the wrong place. He and Susan should already be on the plantation. She pushed down the flash of panic that seized her, telling herself there were a dozen reasons he could be at the station. Perhaps he and Susan had been delayed, or Jeremy had sent him to the station because there was trouble at the factory… The sick feeling tightening her gut told her it was something completely different.

  “Carrie?” Abby’s voice broke through her thoughts. “What is it?”

  Carrie pointed above the crowd. “Mark Jones is here.”

  Thomas turned his head quickly. “Where?”

  Mark pushed through the crowd just then. The look on his face when he caught Carrie’s eyes almost made her knees buckle. She felt Abby’s hand grip her elbow, but she managed to hold herself erect. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  Mark stepped up close to her and grasped both her hands. “There has been an accident,” he said.

  “Robert?”

  Mark nodded soberly.

  “Is he dead?” Carrie forced the question out through almost frozen lips. The look in Mark’s eyes said something terrible had happened.

  “No,” Mark said quickly.

  Carrie read the truth in his eyes. He didn’t really know if Robert was alive or not. “How bad is it?”

  Mark avoided her question by turning to Abby and Thomas. “I have a wagon waiting to take all of you to the plantation.”

  “Jeremy knows?” Thomas asked. He seemed to know that now was not the time to press for more information.

  “He knows,” Mark confirmed. “He will be joining us. Marcus will handle things at the factory.”

  That statement, more than anything else, told Carrie how bad it must be. Why else would Jeremy be leaving the city? It made sense for her father and Abby to come if there had been an accident, but if Jeremy was coming… This time when her knees buckled, it was only her father and Abby holding her elbows that kept her from collapsing. “Tell me what happened,” she snapped, her panic morphing into anger, before sliding back into abject fear.

  Mark turned to her again. “Robert was shot.”

  Carrie felt sick. “How?”

  “Vigilantes attacked the plantation,” he explained. “I’ll tell you more on the way, Carrie, but we need to go.”

  Carrie was completely oblivious of being led through the throng of arriving passengers. The noises were drowned out by the roaring in her head. When they reached the road, she saw that Granite was tied to the wagon. Mark must have ridden him into town. She could hardly stand to see the sympathy radiating from Spencer’s eyes as he stepped down to take their luggage.

  Carrie grabbed Mark’s arm. “Is my husband dying?”

  Mark took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Dr. Wild is on his way out to the plantation.” He looked quickly at his pocket watch. “He is probably there by now.”

  Carrie’s head spun. “Dr. Wild?”

  Mark nodded. “I saw him at the station when Susan and I arrived two days ago. He was here in town for a meeting. Thankfully, he told me where he was staying. I rode in last night after Robert was shot. He left as soon as I found him this morning.”

  Carrie tried to absorb what she was hearing. “So he might live?” she demanded. When Mark hesitated, she turned away from what she didn’t want to see in his eyes. Her mind filled with images of surgeries she and Dr. Wild had performed during the war. There were many times when it had taken both of them to save badly damaged soldiers. She thought of how badly Moses had been wounded. Together, they had saved him. “I’m riding Granite home,” she announced.

  “Carrie!”

  Carrie ignored her father’s response. “I have to get to my husband,” she said frantically. “Dr. Wild and I might be able to save him together.”

  “You can’t ride to the plantation,” Thomas replied, fighting to keep his voice even. “You are too pregnant.”

  Carrie shook her head, certain of only one thing. “I have to get to Robert,” she repeated. “He needs me.” She shook her arm free of her father’s hand. “I can get home two hours sooner if I ride Granite,” she said stubbornly.

  “And if you can’t make it?” Abby asked quietly. “What then?”

  Carrie had a vision of the hard ride causing her to go into labor, but she pushed it aside. All she could think about was Robert lying in a bed with a bullet in his body. She whirled to stare at Mark. “Is he waiting for me to get home?” Mark’s face couldn’t hide the reality of the situation. Carrie grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. “Thank you for not lying to me,” she choked.

  Ignoring the expression on Thomas and Abby’s faces, she untied Granite, accepted the hand up from Mark, and started down the road. She couldn’t race through the streets of Richmond, but as soon as she was on the outskirts of town she would make far better time than the wagon. She fought to breathe evenly, knowing that her fear would make it even harder on her baby. Now that she had decided on a course of action, she felt calmer. She and Robert had lived through one trauma after another since they had met. He had almost died twice during the war, but he had been saved both times. Her mind filled with the memories. This time would be no different. He was strong, and they were about to have a baby.

  She shook off the memory of the stark sorrow in Mark’s eyes as she left Richmond behind and moved Granite into a smooth canter.

  ********

  Carrie was exhausted when she rode up to the house, but she had made it.

  “Carrie!” Rose rushed onto the porch, her face a mixture of sorrow and concern. “You rode here?”

  Carrie chose to ignore her question since the answer was rather obvious. “Robert?” she asked.

  Rose hesitated as if she was searching for the right words. “He’s in your room.” Her voice was laced with a deep sadness.

  Carrie pushed aside what she saw in her best friend’s face. None of them had seen the wounded soldiers she and Dr. Wild had saved. She ignored the others filing onto the porch and ran up the stairs, also ignoring the sudden cramps that gripped her stomach. Robert was waiting for her.

  She stopped at the door to the room, suddenly afraid to walk inside. She could feel the darkness that belied the warm sunshine streaming in the window. Her vision blurred as she caught sight of Robert’s pasty face outlined on the pillow. Was he…?

  “I’m glad you’re here.” Dr. Wild’s voice broke through her fog.

  “Is he…?” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the question, and she also couldn’t make herself move forward. She seemed paralyzed in place. Even without stepping into the room, her mind was telling her the truth she refused to believe. She could feel the darkness pushing aside the light.

  “He’s still alive,” Dr. Wild said, taking her arm to help her walk forward.

  Still. Carrie’s heart almost failed her as she heard the word. Suddenly her spirit rose up in defiance. “What do you mean still alive?” she asked fiercely. “We are going to save him just like we did Moses and so many others.”

  A sheen of tears appeared in Dr. Wild’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Carrie.”

  “No!” Carrie almost shouted as she gasped for the breath that seemed to allude her. “You thought we couldn’t save Moses either. We will save him.” Dr. Wild stepped aside, allowing her to draw close to the bed. One look and Carrie knew the truth. She had seen too many soldiers on the brink of death not to recognize what she was seeing.

  She would find out what had happened later. All that mattered now was being there for her husband. “Robert,” she said softly as she laid her hand on his cold cheek. “I’m here, Robert.”

  Her husband took a quivering breath as he forced his eyes open. “Carrie,” he croaked in a whisper.

  “Yes, my love. I’m here.” She moved her hand and began to run it through his wavy, dark hair
. “I love you,” she said tenderly.

  “Love you,” Robert mouthed, his eyes filled with a regret that shattered her heart.

  Carrie knew what he needed. She pulled the covers back and slid into the bed, pressing her body close as Robert’s breath came in shallow gasps. “You’re not alone,” she crooned. “You’re not alone.” She could barely speak around the pressure of her heart breaking into pieces.

  Robert lay quietly for a long moment, and then his eyes opened with a look of urgency. “Tell our baby… I love her.” His voice strengthened. “Make sure she knows I loved her…even before she was born.”

  Carrie barely registered his belief that their baby was a girl. All that mattered was easing his last few moments. “I promise,” she said, fighting to keep her voice from cracking. “I promise, Robert. Our baby will know you loved her completely. Just like I do.” Her voice dissolved into tears as Robert’s eyes caressed her face.

  “Tell Amber…I would do it again. I want her to have a great life.” His eyes burned with fever and intensity. “You tell her I loved her just like she was my own.” His eyes closed, and his breath became even more ragged.

  Carrie thought he was gone, but he forced his eyes open one more time.

  “I love you, Carrie,” he whispered, his voice growing fainter even as it steadied. “You are the single best thing in my life. I’m sorry I’m leaving you. I’ll always be watching you.” His voice faded as his eyes closed, but he forced them open again. “Always love you…”

  Carrie was sobbing even before he drew his final breath, and then lay still in her arms, his face filled with peace. “Robert…” Her broken heart shattered into a million pieces as she felt his vibrant spirit depart. “No… Robert.” She cradled his face in her hands and pressed her warm lips to his cold ones, wildly wishing she could breathe her own life into him. A deep groan of agony ripped through her.

  She was completely unaware of Rose entering the room as she stayed snuggled into her husband’s body. Carrie felt all the life depart as his skin grew colder under her touch.

  Finally she became aware of Rose sitting next to the bed. Carrie turned to stare at her, unable to process anything of what was happening. Taking the next breath seemed all she was capable of doing. “Rose.” She stared up at her best friend as a sudden vicious spasm shot through her body. “Oh…” She fought for the next breath and then doubled over as another spasm gripped her. She couldn’t hold back the scream as pain ripped through her.

  “Carrie!” Rose jumped up from the chair and grabbed her hand.

  Carrie, caught somewhere in the thick blackness of grief and pain, barely heard Dr. Wild’s voice.

  “She’s in labor.”

  The thick blackness swallowed her as another explosion tore through her abdomen.

  ********

  Moses could do nothing but pace and pray as he waited on the porch for someone to come down and give him an update. The grief over Robert’s death, relayed briefly by Rose before she grabbed Polly and raced back upstairs, would have been enough to immobilize him. Knowing Carrie was in labor two months early and was fighting for her life was more than he could comprehend. He watched blindly as John raced around the front yard, oblivious to the life and death battle being played out behind the window staring down upon him. When he heard the sound of a wagon approaching, he prayed for a way to break the news.

  Annie appeared on the porch beside him. She laid a weathered hand on his arm. “Just tell them the truth, son. There ain’t no easy way to do this, and there ain’t no way to make it easier for them to hear it.”

  Moses took a deep breath. He looked over at the barn and spotted Clint and Susan taking feed and water to the horses. Amber had not returned to the stables since Gabe and Clint had taken her home the night before, a tiny huddled form tucked between them on the wagon seat. Polly had stayed behind to help care for Robert, and Mark had ridden off as soon as they had Robert in the house. Carrie’s arrival was the evidence he had not been killed by vigilantes as he went for help.

  Spencer pulled up to the house, his grim eyes locked on Moses’ face, but he remained silent.

  Thomas and Abby didn’t move either. Their eyes said they were already aware the news was bad. They obviously were scared to receive confirmation.

  It was Jeremy who finally stepped out of the wagon, holding Marietta’s hand. “Tell us,” he commanded quietly.

  “Robert is gone,” Moses managed to say around the lump in his throat. “Dr. Wild couldn’t save him.”

  Abby gasped.

  Thomas muttered a curse, climbed out of the wagon, and snapped, “What happened?”

  Moses met his eyes but ignored his question for the moment. “Carrie got here before he died, but…” His voice broke off as the pain pressed down harder, making it impossible for him to form the words.

  “But what?” Thomas asked, his voice harsh and composed as his eyes blazed with fear. “Tell me.”

  Moses took another deep breath. “She went into labor right after Robert died, Thomas.”

  Thomas’ eyes took on a wild gleam. “And…?” he whispered.

  Abby appeared at his side. “Moses, is Carrie…?” She couldn’t finish her sentence.

  “She’s not dead,” Moses said, praying he was right. There had been no report for the last two hours, just Polly and Rose running up and down the stairs with a frantic look in their eyes. “But, it’s real bad.” He knew he couldn’t hold the truth from them. “Dr. Wild is with her. So are Polly and Rose.”

  Abby threw open the front door. Moses could hear her running up the stairs moments later.

  Thomas stared after her blindly, his face a mask of confusion and pain. “Again?” he murmured faintly. “It’s happening again?”

  Moses didn’t want to give him false hope, but he also didn’t want him to believe something they didn’t know was true. “We don’t know what is happening, Thomas,” he said gently.

  Thomas turned burning eyes to him. “Carrie’s child isn’t due for months,” he said bitterly. “There is no way the child will survive.” He gritted his teeth and slammed his fist into the railing. “Robert. My grandchild. I can’t lose Carrie, too.”

  Moses wanted to assure him that wouldn’t happen, but the continued silence from upstairs said they were fighting to keep her alive. The best he could do was reach out and grip his brother-in-law’s shoulder so that he would not feel so alone.

  Thomas turned to stare out over the fields, but Moses was quite sure he wasn’t seeing anything. He finally swung around to look at him. “Tell me what happened. I know part of it from Mark, but I will admit I didn’t hear a lot of what he had to say because I was too worried.”

  “The vigilantes paid us a visit last night,” Moses began. He told him about the attack on the schoolhouse, and about the revelation that the plantation was also under attack. Mark didn’t know any of that because he had left so soon after. He didn’t communicate the raw terror and rage he had felt as he had ridden through the black woods. “We raced back here, but we arrived too late,” he said, anger shaking his voice as he relived the moment. “When I broke out of the woods, I heard the gunshot. I heard Amber scream, and I saw Robert go down on top of her. I thought they had shot Amber, but Robert…” His voice trembled with the memory. “Robert saved her life. He took the bullet meant for her.”

  “What was Amber doing in the barn?” Thomas demanded. “Why…?”

  Mark appeared on the porch. “Amber was concerned about All My Heart, Thomas. She snuck out of the house and made her way to the barn. We didn’t see her because we were all looking for someone to come toward the house, not out of it. Robert saved her life. When he heard one of the men yell that they had a good shot at her, he dove forward and took her to the ground. The bullet entered his back.”

  “And pierced his lungs and heart,” Thomas said hollowly.

  “Yes,” Moses said hoarsely, remembering all the blood flowing from Robert’s limp body when he picked him up. “H
e lost too much blood.”

  “Dr. Wild?” Thomas asked.

  “He tried to save him, but it was too late,” Moses said as grief constricted his throat. He couldn’t believe the man who had become like a brother to him had died in his front yard, taken down by a fellow veteran after surviving four years of war. “Surgery wouldn’t have done any good, but he gave him morphine to deal with the pain, and he kept talking to him while we waited for Carrie.” His eyes glazed with hot tears. “He wouldn’t let go until Carrie arrived.”

  “He had to tell her good-bye,” Thomas whispered. “Did he?”

  Moses was glad he at least knew that much. “Yes,” he said. “He told her good-bye.”

  “And then he died,” Thomas said in a flat, disbelieving voice. “Robert is dead,” he said numbly. “He survived the war, and now he’s dead?” His voice vibrated with rage as he whipped around to stare at Moses. “Who did this?” he snapped. “Who killed Robert? Who is responsible for the death of my grandchild, and for…” His voice trailed off before he finished his thought, but then it hardened again. “Who did this?”

  “The man who shot him disappeared in the chaos,” Moses answered. “All of them did. We shot some of them, but somehow they stayed on their horses. We let them go because we were focused on saving Robert.”

  Thomas nodded. “Of course, but…” His voice was thick with frustration.

  “But I know who was at the school,” Moses added. “The lead vigilante was Granger. Another man with him was named Chad.”

  Thomas whirled around to stare at him. “Granger Southerlin?” he ground out. “Granger Southerlin from a few miles west of here?”

  Moses shrugged. “Alvin can tell you who they are. He recognized their voices.”

  Thomas turned back around to stare into the afternoon brightness. “They will pay for this,” he said grimly. “They will not get away with this. Not this time.”

  Moses prayed he was right. Retribution would not bring Robert back, nor the grandchild that most surely had not survived, but at least there was a target for their rage. It would have to do for now. At least it gave Thomas something else to focus on.