Always Forward
Page 45
“And you found that way, Papa?” Bridget breathed.
“Let’s just say I’m on the way,” Stanley answered. “I know I made a mistake when I brought all of you out here. I’m not going to keep making that mistake. I’ve talked to enough men out here who have too much stupid pride to admit they were wrong to come to Kansas. Oh, it’s fine for some, but not for my family. I almost lost three more of you last night.” He locked eyes with Carrie. “I’m taking all of you home.”
Carrie sucked in her breath, overwhelmed with an avalanche of feelings. Sorrow that Robert was gone. Sorrow he would never be a father to his own Bridget. Gladness she had saved Abby and the children. Gladness for the light of love and pride in Bridget’s eyes as she gazed at her father. And for the first time in many months, anticipation of what lay ahead for her. Oh, she knew she would carry the grief for a long time to come, but finally, it wasn’t controlling every aspect of her life.
********
Carrie breathed a sigh of relief when the train pulled out of the station in Grand Junction. There was not one thing she would miss about Kansas, but she would always be grateful she had come on this journey.
“It’s good to be headed home.”
Carrie turned to Abby. “You’re sure you feel up to this?”
Abby gave her a mock glare. “If you ask me that one more time, I may have to strangle you. How many times do I have to tell you I’m fine?”
“Evidently a few more times,” Carrie said ruefully. It was possible Abby didn’t understand how likely her death would have been if she hadn’t had the medicine to treat her, but she had decided not to explain it in depth. All that really mattered was that she did have the medicine to treat her. Stanley’s younger children had all been playing happily in the yard when they had left, stopping long enough to wave wildly and call good-bye to them. Bridget had hugged her as if she would never let her go, and Carrie had promised she would write.
Abby seemed to read her mind. “So Bridget wants to be a doctor, too?”
“She does,” Carrie said softly. “She’ll be a good one.”
“Because she has seen so much death?” Abby guessed.
Carrie considered the question. “Because she has learned how precious life is,” she answered. Abby sat back and stared at her. They really hadn’t had much time to talk in the crowded cabin, or when Kyle was driving them back. This was their first time being truly alone since everything had happened—if you could count a bench in a crowded train car as truly alone.
“As you have learned it?” Abby asked tenderly.
“Yes,” Carrie admitted. She knew it was time to tell Abby more of what had happened. “I’ve always been good at medicine, but I didn’t truly understand the fear inside people’s hearts when their loved ones were ill. I probably thought I did, but…”
Abby picked up when her voice trailed off. “But now you know exactly what it is like.”
“Yes. It will make me a better doctor.” She turned to gaze out the window for long moments before she swung back to look into Abby’s compassionate gray eyes. “I will never believe Robert and Bridget’s deaths were anything but a senseless loss, but just as you predicted, I have at least reached the place where I can acknowledge the good things that have happened in me because of them.”
“That takes great maturity and wisdom,” Abby said softly.
Carrie frowned. “I had a conversation with Rose shortly after I found out I was pregnant,” she murmured, her mind back on the plantation in the clearing around Sarah’s grave. “Sarah told me once that greatness comes from great suffering. I wondered then if Rose and I had suffered enough to be great.” She took a deep breath. “Obviously, the answer was no.”
“All of life is a cycle, Carrie,” Abby said. “You were a great woman when you had that conversation with Rose. You are a great woman now, and you will be even greater in the future, but life will always be full of ups and downs, suffering and joy. I have found that it is so important to embrace the joy fully, pulling it into every part of your being, because you will need it there when the next hard times start. You’ll need the joy to balance the grief, and to remind you that the sunrise always follows the darkness.”
Carrie smiled, knowing she was right. “I don’t have to be excited about that, do I?” she asked dryly.
“I would think you were strange if you were,” Abby assured her.
The two women rode in silence for a long time, watching the Kansas plains roll by as their train headed east. Carrie’s mind flew ahead to the plantation.
“What’s next, daughter?”
Carrie sighed. “Life seems to be nothing but one transition after another.”
Abby laughed. “And again you have discovered a great truth about living.”
“Another truth I wish weren’t true,” Carrie complained, managing a slight smile. “I have some things to figure out. I know I am a doctor, and I know I’m meant to finish my education, but there are so many unknowns.”
“Like who will handle the horse operation?” Abby asked with a strange smile on her face.
“Yes,” Carrie agreed. “Clint has come so far, but I don’t think he’s ready to take on the business operation of things yet. That time may come, but it will take a lot of training before I would feel good about it, and I suspect before he would feel good about it.” She cocked her head and peered at Abby more closely. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Abby grinned. “I didn’t just bring a medicine bag with me.”
Carrie was confused. “I don’t understand.”
Abby grinned again, rummaged through her bag, and pulled out an envelope. “You should read this.”
Carrie took it, not recognizing the handwriting. She slit the seal, unfolded the letter and read it, her eyes growing larger with each sentence. “I don’t believe it!” She looked up. “Do you know what this says?”
“I think so,” Abby admitted. “Susan sent your father and me a letter, too.”
Carrie looked at the top of the letter more closely. “Susan sent this almost two months ago.”
“Yes. She asked your father and I to give it to you only if we felt it was the right time.”
Carrie stared at Abby, her mind racing through what she had read. “Mark is in love and is getting married,” she murmured. “Susan is welcome there, of course, but she has always wanted a stable of her own, and is wondering if she could run Cromwell Stables, with an eye to buying it one day if that is ever a possibility.”
“What do you think?” Abby asked.
Carrie’s mind wouldn’t quit spinning, but she knew this was the perfect solution, and that it would give her time to decide what she wanted to do about Cromwell Stables in the future. She could never imagine selling Robert’s dream, but then, she had never imagined she would go back to medical school either. All she could do was continue to take life one step at a time. “I think I have to keep walking forward into the unknown,” she replied. “Everything still seems a little foggy, but it is certainly getting clearer.”
“Making decisions as they come to you is the best way,” Abby agreed. “I could never have imagined the way my life would turn out after Charles’ death.”
Carrie shook her head. “After the last three weeks, the only thing I can really think about is getting home.” She smiled. “The leaves will just be starting to turn, and the harvest should be almost finished.”
“Your father and I are coming out for the Harvest Celebration,” Abby said happily. “Being on the plantation will be wonderful after being stuck on the Kansas plains.”
Carrie sobered as she thought of the last few weeks. “Our being there was pointless, wasn’t it?”
“Not if you have decided to be a doctor again, Carrie. I’d say it was worth every minute of greasy bacon, bedbugs, and influenza,” Abby replied happily.
“But the reason we went in the first place?” Carrie persisted. “It’s not going to happen is it? I don’t believe Kansas will vote for w
oman suffrage.”
Abby sighed. “I believe you are right,” she said sadly. “We all did the best we could, but in the end we couldn’t fight the determination of the Republican Party to focus only on the vote for black males. The vote won’t happen until November fifth, but I think we all know what the decision will be.”
“What now?” Carrie asked.
“We keep fighting,” Abby responded passionately. “America will never fully realize its potential until women have the vote. Our country will never be balanced by women’s perceptions as long as we are silenced. I will never give up fighting.”
“So much to be done,” Carrie murmured, wondering just when she had started to feel like such an adult.
“Strong women never quit fighting for what is right,” Abby said quietly. She reached over and grasped Carrie’s hand. “We will walk into the unknown together, and we will fight together.”
Carrie looked down at their linked hands. “Together,” she promised.
To Be Continued…
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The Bregdan Principle
Every life that has been lived until today is a part of the woven
braid of life.
It takes every person’s story to create history.
Your life will help determine the course of history.
You may think you don’t have much of an impact.
You do.
Every action you take will reflect in someone else’s life.
Someone else’s decisions.
Someone else’s future.
Both good and bad.
The Bregdan Chronicles
Storm Clouds Rolling In
1860 – 1861
On To Richmond
1861 – 1862
Spring Will Come
1862 – 1863
Dark Chaos
1863 – 1864
The Long Last Night
1864 – 1865
Carried Forward By Hope
April – December 1865
Glimmers of Change
December – August 1866
Shifted By The Winds
August – December 1866
Always Forward
January – October 1867
Many more coming… Go to DiscoverTheBregdanChronicles.com to see how many are available now!
Other Books by Ginny Dye
Pepper Crest High Series - Teen Fiction
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A Lost & Found Friend
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When I Dream Series – Children’s Bedtime Stories
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When I Dream, I Dream of Puppies
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When I Dream, I Dream of Kittens
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Fly To Your Dreams Series – Allegorical Fantasy
Dream Dragon
Born To Fly
Little Heart
101+ Ways to Promote Your Business Opportunity
All titles by Ginny Dye
www.AVoiceInTheWorld.com
Author Biography
Who am I? Just a normal person who happens to love to write. If I could do it all anonymously, I would. In fact, I did the first go round. I wrote under a pen name. On the off chance I would ever become famous - I didn't want to be! I don't like the limelight. I don't like living in a fishbowl. I especially don't like thinking I have to look good everywhere I go, just in case someone recognizes me! I finally decided none of that matters. If you don't like me in overalls and a baseball cap, too bad. If you don't like my haircut or think I should do something different than what I'm doing, too bad. I'll write books that you will hopefully like, and we'll both let that be enough! :) Fair?
But let's see what you might want to know. I spent many years as a Wanderer. My dream when I graduated from college was to experience the United States. I grew up in the South. There are many things I love about it but I wanted to live in other places. So I did. I moved 42 times, traveled extensively in 49 of the 50 states, and had more experiences than I will ever be able to recount. The only state I haven't been in is Alaska, simply because I refuse to visit such a vast, fabulous place until I have at least a month. Along the way I had glorious adventures. I've canoed through the Everglade Swamps, snorkeled in the Florida Keys and windsurfed in the Gulf of Mexico. I've white-water rafted down the New River and Bungee jumped in the Wisconsin Dells. I've visited every National Park (in the off-season when there is more freedom!) and many of the State Parks. I've hiked thousands of miles of mountain trails and biked through Arizona deserts. I've canoed and biked through Upstate New York and Vermont, and polished off as much lobster as possible on the Maine Coast.
I had a glorious time and never thought I would find a place that would hold me until I came to the Pacific Northwest. I'd been here less than 2 weeks, and I knew I would never leave. My heart is so at home here with the towering firs, sparkling waters, soaring mountains and rocky beaches. I love the eagles & whales. In 5 minutes I can be hiking on 150 miles of trails in the mountains around my home, or gliding across the lake in my rowing shell. I love it!
Have you figured out I'm kind of an outdoors gal? If it can be done outdoors, I love it! Hiking, biking, windsurfing, rock-climbing, roller-blading, snow-shoeing, skiing, rowing, canoeing, softball, tennis... the list could go on and on. I love to have fun and I love to stretch my body. This should give you a pretty good idea of what I do in my free time.
When I'm not writing or playing, I'm building I Am A Voice In The World - a fabulous organization I founded in 2001 - along with 60 amazing people who poured their lives into creating resources to empower people to make a difference with their lives.
What else? I love to read, cook, sit for hours in solitude on my mountain, and also hang out with friends. I love barbeques and block parties. Basically - I just love LIFE!
I'm so glad you're part of my world!
Ginny