Sleep, My Child, Forever

by John Coston

  (At this point, there is an eleven second pause, when Ellen stops talking. Unprompted, she begins again.)

  And uh, with Steve, that happened in ’89. Shortly before he died, I got another insurance policy that I took on Stacy and him. And then I let Stacy’s lapse. I paid like one premium on all of them. And then I let Stacy’s lapse. Uh, it was Stacy that, one night in September, middle of September, we come home from the grocery store, and I told her to take a bath, and Steve was going to go to bed. She read Steven his bedtime story and he was lying down. And we thought he was asleep. And I told Stacy on the sofa, “Let’s get your bathwater run, you know, I’ll help you in the tub, and if you need me I’ll be in the kitchen, putting groceries away.” And she had her Barbie dolls in the tub. And she was playing with them.

  And as I was putting groceries in the refrigerator, putting some meat away, then I hear a scream. And I ran to the, towards the bathroom, down the hallway, and I saw a cord that was plugged into the outlet. And Steve was up and he was crying. And Stacy was … she was just in shock. She was screaming. I yanked the cord up. And, oh, my God, it was a hair dryer.

  I got Stacy out of the tub. And I said, “Stacy, what happened?” And she said, “I don’t know.” And uh, got her out of the tub. Got her dressed. And I said, “Steve, what happened?” And he goes, “Oh, I thought it was just to rinse the Barbie dolls’ hair, Mom. And I went in your dresser and got the hair dryer. And I plugged it in. I thought it was to dry their hair. And uh, I accidentally dropped it in the tub.” And I took Stacy—and I took Steve, too—I took Stacy to the emergency room, not Cardinal Glennon but at Children’s. And I got her thoroughly checked out. And they said just to watch her, to make sure she, you know, didn’t have any, uh, any side effects, didn’t get sick or anything.

  And I watched her. I kept her home from school the next day. And uh, she seemed to be fine. Her eyes was real dilated, and everything. She said that it felt like something was crawling all over her when she was in the water. (One second pause.)

  And then, a couple of weeks after that it was Steve’s birthday, and the Saturday before his birthday I had to take him to get some shots that he was behind on. It was the MMR, the DPT, and the polio. And, so after that we went to eat dinner. And then that Monday, I called work and I said that Steve had stopped breathing, that I had called the ambulance to take him to the hospital. And I didn’t. We spent, him and I spent the morning together, and we went to Taco Bell, which is one of his favorite places.

  And as we were driving down Meramec, we passed the funeral home where David was. And he remembered that. He remembered where David was. And he goes, “Mommy, I want to go see David. That’s where David lay.” And I said, “Steve, yes, that’s where David was.” And he goes, “Mommy, I want to go see David, I miss him.” And I started crying, too, and he said, “Don’t blame me. We all miss David.” So, before we went down to the cemetery, I called work and Elaine was there and I said that Steve stopped breathing again and I was checking him back into the hospital. And so after I made that phone call, we drove to the cemetery to see David’s grave. And we both sat there by the grave, and we both cried, and cried, and cried, and hugged each other. He said, “Mommy, I wish I was with David.”

  (Sobs and seven unintelligible words.)

  And we left there. I said, “That was our little Da-Da (pronounced ‘day-day’).” That was our nickname for David. Our little “Da-Da.”

  So I went home. And I did go and make their beds and straighten up their rooms. And I came back in and he was laying on the couch, and he was like half asleep and half not. And he had coughed. And, I didn’t know if it was all the frustrations of the bills and everything I had at the time, or what. And him just wanting to be with David so bad and everything. I raised his head and I picked up the pillow and I put it over his face. And then I had my hands like on like the four corners of the pillow. And that, and I.… Thirty seconds.… It just all happened so fast. And I took the pillow away and I put it back under his head and that’s when I saw he was getting blue, too. I didn’t have a phone then, and I ran to my one neighbor’s, named Todd, he was about two doors down. He was learning to be a doctor. A student doctor. And I couldn’t get him at first. Then I ran up to eight, cause I thought that’s where Pauline lived. Now, my mom and her were friends, and I wasn’t sure what floor she lived on. I thought eight. So someone saw me up there on eight, and I come running back down. I knocked on Todd’s door again, and he was home, and I said, “My son, Steve, stopped breathing. Can you call the ambulance and everything.”

  And he did, and he came over and he started CPR. And he couldn’t get him revived either. And they took him to Chil … Cardinal Glennon. Then I called work and told them that he was there and they didn’t think he was going to make it.

  And, with Stacy in the tub. That was an accident. I didn’t have anything to do with that. I didn’t see Steve come out of the room. I didn’t hear him, because I was putting the groceries away, and I was making noise putting the meat away in the refrigerator. And all I heard was her scream, and then him scream and start crying.

  BURGOON: Ellen, when did you get married?

  ELLEN: June 7, 1980.

  BURGOON: And who did you marry?

  ELLEN: Paul Boehm.

  BURGOON: Paul Boehm?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BURGOON: All right. And, uh, you later separated?

  ELLEN: We’re divorced.

  BURGOON: Yes, you’re divorced now. Uh, when you first separated, when was this?

  ELLEN: It was on our sixth wedding anniversary, June 7, 1986.

  BURGOON: Was that right after David was born?

  ELLEN: No. Shortly, about a month and a half before.

  BURGOON: So, you were eight months pregnant when he left?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BURGOON: Where did he go?

  ELLEN: Well, at the time he said, the story he told was, since he had been in Vietnam, he got Agent Orange, and he had to go down to Texas to get treatment. He even said he had to quit his job when he was down there. And I have no reason to doubt him. I trusted him. I loved him and I trusted him. He got down on his hands and knees, and said he hated to leave, you know. He loved us all. He said that in order for him to get better, that’s what we had to do. And he’s got all these rashes, rash marks all over his body. And he said he was going down there to Texas, that first he had to spend a couple of weeks at a VA hospital. So I never heard from him for about a week, and I thought it was kind of a little weird that he never called, you know. So I thought well I’d drive down there to see if I saw his car. Well, his car wasn’t over there. So then I got to wondering, you know, what actually was going on? Then I got this phone call at work, where I used to work, and this man said, “Your husband is having an affair with my wife.” Well, I didn’t believe it, then the more everything started falling into place, you know, the nights that he had been gone. Uh, and the stories he told. It just all fell into place.

  BURGOON: Where did Paul work at that time?

  ELLEN: Bi-State.

  BURGOON: Where were you living?

  ELLEN: At 3300 Wyoming.

  BURGOON: Were you buying a home?

  ELLEN: Yes, we were.

  BURGOON: What kind of a house was it?

  ELLEN: It was a two-family flat.

  BURGOON: How much was it? The mortgage?

  ELLEN: Oh, it was for $30,000. It was through the VA.

  BURGOON: I see. When he left, how much of that did you owe? Had you lived there long?

  ELLEN: We had rented it first before we bought it. I think we got it right after Stacy was born. I think in ’82. She was born in ’81. We bought it in September ’82.

  BURGOON: So you lived there about four years, almost five years?

  ELLEN: Yes, and then we rented since ’79. Like he rented it a year before we got married.

  BURGOON: After he left you, did you have to lose the house?

  ELLEN: Yes, he left me with all the bills. And
the kids. And at the time, I had already told work I wasn’t coming back, and that was right before all of this other took place.

  BURGOON: Where did you work at then?

  ELLEN: At Marshall and Stevens.

  BURGOON: When he left you, how much did you owe?

  ELLEN: Oh, on the house, it was probably $28,000.

  BURGOON: Any other bills?

  ELLEN: Uh, there was charge cards. A second mortgage on our house. Some loans. A loan he had through the credit union that another guy had cosigned for. So I didn’t end up paying it.

  BURGOON: Someone else had to pay that?

  ELLEN: Uh-huh.

  BURGOON: You moved out. When did you move down to South Broadway? Do you remember? 4720 South Broadway.

  ELLEN: I moved in August of ’88, because I had filed bankruptcy, and I thought that that would help relieve me of some of the bills I owed, and when I could that … that didn’t work and I was trying to make ends meet, even with the house payment and I couldn’t. I tried to rent out my upstairs, and have that income, you know, from what I have to put with it, to make the house payment. And I just couldn’t handle it. And I told VA. And took a bath on the move.

  BURGOON: When did you begin working for Andersen company?

  ELLEN: October ’86. Right after David was born. He was born in July. And I said, I have to go back to work. At my other job, I had told them before I left that I wasn’t coming back. You know, that we had planned on that as soon as I had the kid.

  BURGOON: When David died, did you have any insurance on David?

  ELLEN: I had the policy I had from work, which was $5,000.

  BURGOON: That’s with Aetna?

  ELLEN: Yeah. Aetna, yeah.

  BURGOON: Uh, in 1989, in August and September of 1989, did you purchase some insurance policies?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BURGOON: What policies did you purchase?

  ELLEN: There was a $50,000 from State Farm, a $30,000 from Shelter. There was like $12,000 from, uh, I think it was United Omaha, and then I had applied for, I applied I think it was Gerber, but then I never followed through with that.

  BURGOON: Who were the beneficiaries? Who were the policies taken out on?

  ELLEN: Oh, well, originally they were both taken out on Steve and Stacy.

  BURGOON: All three policies?

  ELLEN: Originally, yeah.

  BURGOON: How was it, did they deduct it from your pay? How did they work?

  ELLEN: No, I would have to pay it directly.

  BURGOON: How many payments did you make?

  ELLEN: Uh, one for sure that I know of.

  BURGOON: Did you ever receive any money?

  ELLEN: From State Farm.

  BURGOON: And how much was that?

  ELLEN: $50,000.

  BURGOON: And what company was that?

  ELLEN: State Farm.

  BURGOON: You say, while all this was going on, you have a lot of financial problems besides trying to raise a family by yourself.

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BURGOON: Do you have anything? (Addressing Bender.)

  BENDER: Yeah, uh, when you were speaking of David, you said that, uh, that he was lying on the floor on his right side.

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BENDER: And that you removed, the words you used were, “couch pillow,” uh, are we talking about a pillow or one of the seat cushions?

  ELLEN: Cushion.

  BENDER: One of the cushions that you sit on?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BENDER: Which would be, what, approximately three-foot by three-foot, something like that, I guess?

  ELLEN: This was one of the smaller ones that are on the couch. Split.

  BENDER: Two or three feet wide?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BENDER: Two or three feet deep? Okay, you said that he was on his right side and that you sort of kneeled down at his feet?

  ELLEN: Uh-huh. I was behind him.

  BENDER: And put that couch cushion over his …

  ELLEN: I was behind him, but then like I reached over.

  BENDER: Okay. Did you roll him over onto his back?

  ELLEN: Well, when I put the pillow on him, he just kind of rolled on his back.

  BENDER: Okay. Did he struggle at all?

  ELLEN: Yes, he struggled a little bit.

  BENDER: What did he try to do? How did he struggle?

  ELLEN: He’s a little fighter. He tried to push the pillow away.

  BENDER: Uh-huh. And then finally did all that cease?

  ELLEN: (Nods.)

  BENDER: And how long after that cease did you have to hold the pillow down over him?

  ELLEN: Till he stopped fighting.

  BENDER: Till he stopped fighting. Okay. Uh, had you thought about smothering him while you were sitting on the couch? Er …

  ELLEN: No. No.

  BENDER: You all of a sudden got up and did this?

  ELLEN: Yes. I was tired. I fixed us the dinner and everything, and I was a little aggravated because he didn’t want to go to sleep, even though I tried several times to put him to bed.

  BENDER: Why do you suppose he would not go to bed and the other two children did? You said he fell asleep in the car and apparently was tired.

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BENDER: And the other kids, I guess they were tired, too.

  ELLEN: They were tired, too. And they were out, asleep. David always liked to stay up late. You know, he loved watching TV.

  BENDER: And you keep him up purposely for that.

  ELLEN: No.

  BENDER: Okay, uh, now after he stopped struggling, you said you called a friend named Sandy?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BENDER: Did you call her right away?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BENDER: And, uh …

  ELLEN: I didn’t realize what I did. At that time I thought he was still alive. She asked what we did for Thanksgiving and I told her that I had fixed a turkey and everything and that we went and got my mom and had dinner. And that we just came home. After I dropped Mom off, I went downtown, the kids and I, and we looked at Christmas decorations and everything. And then she told me what they did. And then, I couldn’t have been on the phone with her five minutes and I looked down at David and that’s when I noticed that he was white and his lips were turning blue.

  BENDER: I think you said earlier that you might have been talking to her about fifteen minutes.

  ELLEN: Well, maybe it was five to fifteen.

  BENDER: Okay.

  ELLEN: It didn’t seem like it was very long.

  BENDER: Not long. Okay. Now, as you’re talking to her you said you looked down and you saw what about David?

  ELLEN: I saw that he was white and his lips were blue.

  BENDER: Okay. Did you mention any of this to Sandy?

  ELLEN: I, well, I tried. When I had the receiver in my hand, I said, “David, are you okay?” And then I just reached down and kind of shook him a little. I said, “David,” and I didn’t get any kind of response. And I said, “Sandy, something’s wrong with David.” I said, “He’s not, he’s not breathing.” So I better call the ambulance.

  BENDER: What’s Sandy’s last name?

  ELLEN: Nelson.

  BENDER: All right, I believe that earlier you were asked if this was sort of a test to see if you’d get caught or anything. Do you remember being asked that question?

  ELLEN: Yes.

  BENDER: Do you want to answer that now?

  ELLEN: I knew eventually I’d get caught, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t a test.

  BENDER: Okay. Was there anything going through your mind while you smothered him?

  ELLEN: Well, I think, I think it was just all the frustrations that I had just built up inside of me. Even though I loved him dearly, I know what I did was wrong, I just did it.

  BENDER: Okay. Now in regards to Steven and Stacy, I think that you said that these policies that you took out on both children, Stacy and Steven, were taken out and put into effect about two weeks prior to
Steven’s death. Is that correct?

  ELLEN: State Farm I thought was before.

  BENDER: Before that?

  ELLEN: Like maybe towards the end of August.

  BENDER: Okay.

  ELLEN: Uh, and Shelter, I thought that was late in August, too, maybe it was the beginning of September.

  BENDER: Okay.

  ELLEN: I just remember …

  BENDER: Not long, I mean …

  ELLEN: No.

  BENDER: A matter of months.

  ELLEN: Yeah.

  BENDER: Right. Okay, now you said that one policy was for $50,000, one was for $30,000, one was for $12,000. And if I’ve figured correctly that comes to $92,000. And I think didn’t you say earlier that you also had like a $5,000 policy on each child through work?

  ELLEN: Yes, sir.

  BENDER: Okay. Now, uh, earlier we spoke about the fact that you called your supervisor at work around 8:15 or 8:30, and what was that supervisor’s name?

  ELLEN: Elaine Herman.

  BENDER: Elaine Herman. And what did you tell Elaine?

  ELLEN: I told Elaine that, uh, Steve had stopped breathing, that I probably, you know that I was down at the gas station. I was calling the ambulance and we were taking him over to the emergency room.

  BENDER: Okay. Was that true?

  ELLEN: No.

  BENDER: Okay. Where were you at? Were you actually at a service station?

  ELLEN: Yes, I was. I was at the Mobil Fifty-Five station, right there at Broadway and Fifth.

  BENDER: Okay. Why did you make that call and say that?

  ELLEN: Because I just wanted to spend the day with Steve.

  BENDER: Okay.

  ELLEN: I mean I know I shouldn’t have lied. I should have just come up to work.

  BENDER: Okay. Now from the Mobil Station, which is about 8:30 now, what did you and Steven do?

  ELLEN: We went over to my mom’s because he wasn’t feeling good, because he had all those shots on Saturday, and she noticed that he was peaked, too, and not feeling well. And I said, “I think we’re just going to go home.” And he kept saying, “Mom, I want to go to Taco Bell.” So we went to Taco Bell and he had a bean burrito, and uh, uh, pintos and cheese and a soda. And we was leaving there, we was going to go home and that’s when I called and I told Elaine and I talked to Elaine and I said that, you know, “Steve stopped breathing again. You know, we came home the first time, and he just stopped breathing again and I’m taking him back.”