by Faust, Megan
“You came here to stay in control. You fought me because you wanted to be in control. How do you feel now?”
“Scared and confused.”
“You can still be in control of your healing process; you can hinder it or help it, that’s up to you. I’m not here to force you or judge you. I’m here to ask questions that might point you down the path of healing and to provide professional help when you need it.”
“That last part sounded cheesy.”
“You’re right. The choice is yours Brant. Are you going to take positive control over your life?”
* * * *
Seth had been trying to ignore his brother all morning but it was next to impossible and Brant’s ever pleasant false front was beginning to wear on him. Fortunately Brant had gone for his meeting right after lunch giving Seth the opportunity he had been waiting for.
“Alice, I think I could use a walk. I’ve been doing a lot of sitting lately, more than I’m used to.”
“I guess you’re not suggesting that we pace around the Common Room.”
“I was hoping to go out in the garden.”
Alice glanced around, her hand rubbing her arm, and then she sighed. “Okay, a short walk.”
Seth’s mind was racing. He had imagined this conversation hundreds of times since deciding to cut Brant loose and look after Alice instead. Now that I’m here, where do I start?
“Seth, why are you so angry at your brother?” Alice asked.
Seth frowned. “I have lived in Brant’s shadow for fifteen years, at least. I have kept him out of trouble with fans, sponsors, rival drivers, and our father ever since he started racing competitively. He has never thanked me for that, or for keeping his car running. He’s barely polite when he’s in a good mood and if he feels he owes you for any reason, he’s downright hostile. If he needs something from you he doesn’t ask, he demands. I’ve had enough of the abuse and enough of him. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I’ve come to a difficult decision about Brant.”
“But haven’t you noticed that he’s changed?”
“I’ve noticed he’s been playing a very involved game and I’m scared you’ll get hurt when he gets tired of it, and of you.”
“I think you should give him a chance.”
“To do what? Hurt you? No, I’m done with him. I don’t want to be Brant’s support person anymore.”
“So you’re going away?” She was careful to keep her voice blank.
“I was hoping not to. Brant doesn’t need my help, he’s made that perfectly clear on more than one occasion, he just wants me here so he can kick me around. But you and I have become good friends this last week, haven’t we?”
“Yes, we have,” she said, eyeing him warily. “Why?”
“Alice, I want to help you. I want to see you free of the drugs and the fear. I could keep coming as your support person instead of Brant’s. If you needed to talk I’d be here, just for you.”
“Seth, I don’t know …”
He stopped walking and grabbed her hands, forcing her to face him. “Alice, please. I’ve fallen in love with you and I want to keep you safe.” He pulled her close and kissed her.
When he let go of her hands she stumbled back, her eyes going wide but not with wonder or surprise. Her hands went to her mouth and she shook her head. “No,” she whispered. “He wasn’t right. He couldn’t have been right.” She backed away, still shaking her head, then turned and fled back up the path.
* * * *
Brant came out of his meeting feeling more confident than he had in days. He had a plan of action for his recovery and more importantly he had Alice. He came into the Common Room expecting to see Alice laughing at one of Seth’s jokes but they weren’t there. They weren’t in the TV room, the library, or the garden either. He had left his room key with Seth in case they wanted something from the fresh back of snacks Seth had bought so he went to his room and tried the door. It swung open easily.
Seth was pacing the narrow path around the meager furniture. When he saw Brant he snarled, “What did you do?”
“Me? I don’t even know what you’re talking about! What happened, Seth?”
“I don’t know, Brant. Everything between me and Alice was fine and now she won’t talk to me.”
“So what did you do?”
“Nothing!” He dropped into one of the chairs. “I told her I wanted to help her. I thought women liked knights in shining armour. You said she liked romance novels and happy endings!”
“Is that all?”
“Then I told her I was in love with her and I kissed her.”
Brant groaned. “Did you ask permission before you kissed her?”
“More important is why she started saying ‘He wasn’t right. He couldn’t have been right’. So just what have you been saying about me when I’m not here to defend myself?”
“Nothing! I haven’t told a single embarrassing story about you, I didn’t tell her about your plan. I swear it.”
“Then who is she talking about?”
“I don’t know. Where is she? Maybe I can talk to her.”
“Yeah, sure, except that she’s locked herself in her room and won’t answer the door.”
“Let me try, all right? Wait here.”
Brant hurried down the hallway and knocked lightly on Alice’s door.
“Go away,” she shouted. Her voice was heavy with tears.
“Alice, it’s me, please open the door.” He could hear her crying but no movement so he said, “At least tell me what’s wrong.”
Her only response was a long wail. Brant ran straight down the stairs to Dr. Keaton’s office. He was expecting the frown when the door opened so he started talking right away.
“You have to help. There’s something wrong with Alice. She was happy at lunch and now she’s locked in her room, crying.”
“I don’t know what you think I can do, Brant.”
“Get me in there so I can talk to her.”
“You know that’s against a lot of rules.”
“Then you talk to her! Something is wrong!”
“Okay, give me a few minutes and I’ll see what I can do.” Brant was pacing in front of Alice’s door when Dr. Keaton came up the stairs. “Calm down, let me talk to her.” He knocked on the door. “Alice, it’s Dr. Keaton. Your friend is worried about you. Will you unlock the door and let me in?”
“Why? So you can lie to me some more? Go away.”
“Alice, this isn’t healthy.”
“Go away! You can’t help me.”
“Now will you open the door and let me in to talk to her?”
“Brant, why are you so insistent about this? Are you and Alice involved?”
“She’s my friend, maybe the first real friend I’ve had. She helped me, a lot, and now I’m going to help her. She doesn’t need a shrink to sit across from her and ask questions she needs a friend to comfort her. That may mean hugging her and letting her cry and you’ll just have to be okay with that. Now open the damn door.”
Dr. Keaton nodded and pulled a key card from his pocket. “Don’t force this Brant. If she wants you to leave you have to leave.”
Inside Brant found Alice on the bed curled up in a little ball still sobbing. He frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. “Alice, come over here and cry.”
“Brant, how did you get in here?”
“Dr. Keaton.”
“It’s against the rules.”
“You have us both worried. Come put your head on my shoulder and you can get all this crying out.”
“You don’t want to know what’s wrong?”
“Right now it’s enough to know that you’re okay. Come on.”
She scooted across the bed and let Brant tuck an arm around her shoulders. She promptly broke down crying again. Brant bit his tongue, stifling his own curiosity, and let her cry. Finally the sobbing quieted down to sniffles and hiccups and Alice said, “You’ll hate me.”
“Why? Because my brother wa
s an idiot?”
“You know?” She pulled back so she could look into his face.
“Yes, Seth told me. Alice, I know I’m prying, but who were you talking about, when Seth upset you, I mean?”
“No one, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. We have to trust each other Alice.”
“If I tell you, you’ll hate me.”
“Alice, I love you. Please, tell me what happened to scare you so badly.”
“I left rehab six months ago with a charming patient named Richard. He said he was clean, that he would help me get clean. We moved in together and that’s when my brother cut me off. Of course Richard didn’t get me clean and when he thought I was doped up enough he tried to whore me out.
“This guy I’d seen around, he was another dealer, showed up and money changed hands. I thought it was a drug deal but Richard was looking to branch out into brothels and I was to be his first working girl. No one told me about this. They shot me up and then I’m being kissed and groped. When I realized who was touching me I fought. He gave me a black eye and started arguing with Richard so I ran.”
“And you ended up here?”
“I ended up in a shelter first but Richard found me there so I made my way here.”
“You said, ‘he was right’. What did you mean by that?”
“Richard told me I was a whore, that I’d never be anything but a whore, and that deep down I liked being passed around. He said I’d figure that out when I had to pay my own way out on the street.” She broke down crying again.
“Alice, you are not a whore. You’re a beautiful young woman and I love you.”
“Brant, I liked it.”
“Last night? I could tell. That doesn’t …”
“No. Seth kissed me and it felt good.”
For a moment Brant was speechless.
“You see? Richard was right and now you hate me.”
“If that asshole Richard was right you would have kept on kissing Seth. You didn’t. You felt guilty. So Seth’s a good kisser; it’s not like you asked him to kiss you in the first place and you didn’t ask him to continue. You’re not a whore. You never were. You were abused, Alice, and you were strong enough to get out without any support. I love you, Alice.”
After half an hour Brant emerged alone. Dr. Keaton rushed over. “Well?”
“You probably know more about Richard than I do,” Brant said. “She had a bad attack of memories and was feeling pretty down on herself. She’s stopped crying but she wanted a nap.”
“You did a good thing here, Brant. Alice obviously trusts you a great deal to tell you about Richard. I’ll invite Alice down to my office in the morning but I think she’ll be okay.” He looked ready to say more then he forced a smile, gave Brant a curt nod, and headed for the stairs.
Brant returned to his room though he had no idea what he was supposed to tell Seth. Seth leapt up as Brant came in. “Is she okay? What did she say about me?”
Brant sighed. “You woke up some bad memories. She wasn’t talking about me, she was talking about her last boyfriend; he was a real piece of work. She’s napping now.”
“I have to apologize to her.”
“Later. Look, I know getting in here is a hassle but could you pop out for chocolate, just solid chocolate. Alice might like some later; girls like chocolate, right? Come back for supper so you can talk to her.”
Seth nodded. “I can do that. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Once alone Brant sat back and groaned. “I guess nothing in life is simple.”
* * * *
Brant lay in bed that night thinking about the evening. Alice had joined them for dinner and had listened to Seth’s apology but the lost look in her eyes worried him. After supper she had excused herself claiming to be tired and Brant had sent Seth back to the motel early to catch up on sleep. That had left him alone again with nothing to do but think.
He had just turned off the light when someone knocked on the door. He glanced at the clock. Eleven o’clock. Impossible, he thought but he went to the door anyway.
“Alice?”
She smiled. “I told you I would come.”
He stepped back into the room. “I didn’t think you’d come, not after what happened today.”
“Did you want me to leave?”
“Gods no, I want you to feel comfortable and safe. I want you to stay.”
“I want to stay too. I want to be with you. When I’m with you the past doesn’t haunt me. When I was here last night I didn’t think of Richard once. I feel safe enough to forget.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “I’d hold you forever if I could.”
“I know.” They crawled into bed and held each other tight. “What about Seth?”
“He’s holding out hope that you’ll forgive him and maybe come to love him.”
“You and me together, it’s going to break his heart, isn’t it?”
Brant nodded. “There’s no avoiding it. I should be the one to tell him when we’re out of here. Maybe you two can still be friends.”
“How bad are you expecting this to be?
“I don’t know. The old Seth would have shrugged this off but he’s changed. I don’t know how he’ll react now.”
Alice looked up and kissed him. It was a soft kiss but it went on and on. Her hands played along his chest and stomach. He tried to pull back, to tell her it was all right to slow down, but she wouldn’t stop kissing him long enough for him to speak. Her hands slid under his shirt and he jumped. “Cold,” he managed between kisses.
She giggled. “Sorry.”
“You don’t have to rush like this.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
It was hard to argue with her and even harder to keep his hands off her. Under her constant rain of kisses he quickly forgot the drama of the day and his thoughts were full of nothing but Alice. She slipped quickly from her clothes giving his wandering hands access to soft, warm skin. She moaned and gasped as he caressed her thighs and ass.
She stopped kissing him long enough to pull his shirt over his head and then began kissing his chest and shoulders. With ever kiss and caress the panic and fear fell away until Alice could breathe again. Desire quickly filled the emotional void inside her and she found herself being more daring and forward than she had intended. She flicked her tongue over his nipple delighting at his reaction. She freed him from his sweat pants and her hand encircled his fully erect cock.
“Alice!” he gasped, then groaned as she squeezed.
She watched his breathing quicken and the muscles in his neck tighten and realized that watching him get worked up was turning her on.
She rolled on top of him almost sending them both toppling to the floor. She gasped then giggled as his arms closed tight around her. He shushed her but it only made her smile. She wiggled her hips seductively and he groaned “You need to stop that or I’ll just take you.”
“Like this?” She slid onto his cock and sat there smirking at him.
“I love you.”
She wiggled her hips again, relishing the way he felt inside her. He grabbed her by the hips and they began to move together. Their eyes locked and they watched wonder and pleasure and desire play like shadows and light across each other’s faces.
Alice could see the intensity of Brant’s climax building and she put her hands on either side of his face. “I love you, Brant Bye.”
His eyes fluttered shut and his head tipped back as he came inside her. She continued to ride him, watching his face relax from intensity to contentment. His hands moved from her hips to her breasts and began caressing her. Her whole body tingled and she shivered.
“You look so damn hot right now,” he murmured.
Her pleasure took longer to reach its climax but he was slow to soften. By the time she felt her orgasm take her he was stifling a yawn. She collapsed on top of him, gasping for air. When she could breathe again she said, “I’m sorry, am I keeping you awake?”
/> “It’s been a long day and I’m good and done.”
“You’re good to me, no doubt about that. But I should go.” She kissed him. “I love you.”
“Stay the night,” he whispered, reaching for her.
“I can’t, not yet. But I’m sure we’re both almost done with rehab.”
He sighed. “You’re right, of course. I don’t know if I can wait another week or two to sleep with you in my arms.”
“We have to.” She kissed him one last time and said, “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Chapter Eleven
Brant wanted to reach out and take Alice’s hand but with so many other patients already in the dining room and Seth hovering in the breakfast line behind them he had to resist that temptation. He reached for a plate of toast and yawned again.
Seth said, “You’ve been yawning a lot this morning, Brant.”
“I couldn’t sleep last night. And I had some rough dreams.”
“Dr. Keaton says the insomnia is normal, it’s part of your body dealing with the withdrawal, and it should go away, eventually. The bad dreams don’t always go away,” Alice said, and then she yawned too. She giggled. “Those stupid things really are contagious.”
Brant and Alice smiled at each other and moved down the line.
Seth scowled. How am I going to convince Alice that I can protect her and love her if Brant’s playing Mr. Nice Guy? I need to trip him up, make him reveal the true Brant. Alice will be scared off when she realizes he’s been playing her. She’ll see I’m the better brother. Seth almost missed the bowls for porridge and he completely missed whatever Brant had said.
Alice was laughing and pouring two cups of coffee. “Sugar or milk?” she said.
“Both,” Brant replied.
“Aw,” she said, “You’re a sweet and blonde person.”
“You’re kidding, right? Last I checked I was abrasive and had dark hair.”
“No,” she laughed. “You like your coffee sweet and blonde.”
He looked at the mug she thrust into his hand. The swirls of cream really did look like wisps of blonde hair. “Huh. I never thought of it that way. Does it surprise you?”
