by Faust, Megan
“Not one bit. Seth, did you want some coffee?”
“Yeah,” he grumbled. “Just sugar, please.”
The rest of the morning went on this way with Seth more often than not sitting by and watching some sweet or humorous exchange between Brant and Alice. When the conversation did open up to include him he couldn’t find anything to talk about that would make Brant explode. He tried humiliating stories but Brant too each one in stride. When Brant did ‘retaliate’ with stories about Seth they were only mildly embarrassing and told without any hint of spite. Seth tried to rekindle old fights but Brant only shrugged and said, “It’s all water under the bridge, Seth.”
By lunch Seth was furious but neither Brant nor Alice seemed to notice. He said, ignored, glaring at his chicken and pasta salad. It’s sickening. Brant is so fake and Alice is just eating up the ‘nice guy’ routine. She’s as blind as a teenager in love. The thought gave him pause and snippets of the morning flashed through his mind: all the smiles, the laughing, the private jokes, the way they forgot he was there. A fist tightened in his chest. They’re in love. She fell for it; she actually believes he’s this soft spoken, easy going, gentleman. There is no way I’ll prove her wrong now. He poked at his food without appetite.
After lunch he trailed after Brant and Alice like a kicked puppy while his thoughts turned from sullen to dismal. Finally he grabbed Brant but the arm and said, “Excuse us, Alice, Brant and I need to talk.” He dragged back upstairs to his room.
“What’s wrong, Seth?”
“You have no shame, Brant. You’re going to break her heart.”
“What are you talking about? We’re just friends.”
“Drop the act. I can read people and I can tell that you two are in love. Is that why she ran when I kissed her? Are you two involved?”
“You know I have feelings for her, just like I know you have feelings for her, but Alice and I are just friends. If she has feelings for me she hasn’t said anything and my feelings can’t mean anything until I get out of here.”
“Bullshit. Why was she angry yesterday?”
“I told you, it was a bad memory. I shouldn’t say any more.”
“That is so vague, Brant! What was it? A dead pet? A judgemental father? What bad memory did she make up?”
“Her last boyfriend.”
“Right, one bad relationship and now kissing scares her. Try something more unique.”
“He wanted to whore her out, Seth, he’d taken the money and everything. When she refused he told her she was a whore, that she just didn’t know it yet. Is that unique enough? Is that detailed enough? Do you need to know she ended up with a black eye? Or that her brother wouldn’t rescue her? Stop thinking about yourself for a minute and think about Alice.”
Seth laughed. “Oh that’s rich, coming from you. You’ve never thought about anybody but yourself!”
“I know. And I owe you the biggest apology of all.”
“Save it, Brant. I don’t need your empty words. You may have fooled Alice but you haven’t fooled me.”
“Maybe you should leave, Seth.”
“You’re kicking me out?”
“You’re supposed to support me, Seth. You’re supposed to encourage me to get better, to change. You’re not doing that. You don’t want me to change.”
“I don’t want you to hurt Alice.”
“You aren’t here for me, Seth; you shouldn’t be sneaking in here as my support person anymore.”
“Then fuck you, Brant.” Seth stormed out of the room. Moments later Brant could see him trudging across the lot, his collar flipped up against the wind.
* * * *
Seth sat in his hotel room in the dark, fuming. “He hasn’t changed. He never cared enough about anyone to change, not me, not Chloe, not the girls he dated and slept with and threw away. Any one of those girls I could have loved and cared for, none of this one night stand business, but not one of them wanted anything to do with me. Everything has always worked out for the number one son. Let’s see how he likes having the tables turned.”
Seth crossed to the bedside table and picked up the phone. It rang a long time before it connected and a cheery female voice said, “Hello?”
“Chloe, put Dad on.”
“Hi, Seth, you don’t sound too good. Is everything okay wherever you are?”
“Give the phone to Dad!”
“You don’t have to shout, the connection is fine. Jeez, you sound like Brant.”
“Chloe,” he rumbled.
“He’s out in the shop tinkering with the potato conveyer. Can he call you back in …?”
“Get him. Now. This is important.”
“Mom’s upstairs, I could get her a lot quicker.”
“Chloe Ann Bye you go outside and get our father. I need to speak with him. Now.”
“Okay, okay, I’m going. Do you realize how cold it is? It’s dropped to fifty now.”
“You have a jacket.”
There was a thump in his ear as she put the phone down on the counter. He let his impatience feed his rage so when his father picked up the phone and said, “What’s so damn important that if couldn’t wait?” Seth was ready.
“Brant is in rehab.”
“What the hell type of nonsense is that? Is this some sort of prank?”
“It’s no prank, Dad. Brant is in rehab suffering from a drug addiction to painkillers. He’s deluded himself into believing that he’s in love with an addict he met there.”
“Is this where you two have been the last two and a half weeks?”
“Don’t get mad at me. Brant lied to me to get me out the door and didn’t tell me about the drugs until we were two-thirds of the way here. Then he made me feel guilty so I’d lie on his behalf. Now he’s shut me out because of this girl. He’s lost it.”
“Your mother isn’t going to like this.”
“I know. I just thought you should know the truth. I’ll be starting for home tomorrow; it’ll take me a full day if I drive right through the night.”
“What about your brother?”
“He’s intending to stay in rehab. I don’t know how long he’ll be there.”
“Dammit, Seth, the sponsors are already hounding me about a race, the snow could hit any day now and end the local season, there are bills to pay; I don’t know how Brant’s paying for rehab …”
“I don’t know, Dad, I really don’t. I tried telling him all that but between the withdrawal and the girl he’s not thinking straight.”
“Well, get your ass home at least and we’ll straighten him out. Thanks for the head’s up.” The line went dead.
Seth felt happier than he had in days until a random thought burst his bubble. “They’re in love, they know it, and Brant’s obviously lying when he said they weren’t involved. And when Brant’s involved he doesn’t keep his hands to himself for long. I think I need to stop at the rehab center before heading for home. I wonder how early Dr. Hurd starts work.
Chapter Twelve
When Seth walked in the visitor’s door the next morning the receptionist frowned. “Have a seat. We don’t allow visitors for another hour.”
“I’m not here to see a patient; I’m here to see Dr. Hurd. It’s very important.”
“Give me your name and I’ll see if he’s in.”
Five minutes later Dr. Hurd walked into the waiting room. “Seth, I wasn’t expecting you today. Your brother said you wouldn’t be returning.”
“Did he tell you why?”
“He mentioned a difference of opinions and a falling out. Is there more?”
“I think he’s become romantically involved with another patient.”
“You probably mean Alice, the young lady you both befriended. Given Alice’s past I find that hard to believe.”
“I really think they’re involved. And I think it’s become physical. I know she’s had it bad in the past but my brother can be very persuasive. Didn’t anyone catch them sneaking about? You have all those cam
eras.”
“Let’s go take a look at the footage from the last few evenings. I’m sure we can sort all this out without upsetting the patients.”
Seth followed Dr. Hurd into one of the offices. There was a single computer and a wall of high-tech DVD players. Seth frowned. “There are no monitors, and no security guard.”
“No, just days and days of footage. But the patients don’t know that. How far back do you want to look?”
“If I’m right, last night should be enough, maybe the night before if they were afraid I’d tip you off.”
Dr. Hurd dropped a disc in the computer and let it load. It took just a minute for him to skim through to the eight pm marker. “I’ll set it on fast forward and we’ll watch the next ten hours of footage.”
People milled in and out of rooms like ants scurrying in a hive. Gradually traffic decreased and then stopped. An orderly did a sweep of the hallway and then a ghostly figure stepped out of room seven. Dr. Hurd paused. “That’s Alice.”
“Let it play normally.”
In regular time they watched Alice cross the hall and move up to door sixteen where she stopped and knocked. After a second the door opened and she disappeared inside. Dr. Hurd pressed fast forward again but they hit the end of the disc without any further sign of Alice.
“This disc was changed at six o’clock this morning,” he said. “I need to take care of this. You can’t come up, of course.”
“Don’t worry; I’m on my way out.”
* * * *
Alice woke up slowly and her first thought, coming even before her eyes opened, was Why is my right hand numb? She tried to roll on her back but she hit the wall. She tried to move away from the wall but she was trapped. She sat up as far as her right arm, pinned below the elbow, would allow, and smiled. “Brant,” she whispered.
She laid back and smiled at the memory of their night together. The sex had been gentle and romantic but still passionate. He had taken the time to kiss and caress her until she was begging to be taken.
A knock at the door interrupted her reverie and she panicked. “Brant!” she hissed, shaking him awake. He opened his eyes as the early morning visitor knocked again.
“Hold on,” Brant called, “I’m not dressed.” He turned to Alice. “The bathroom,” he hissed.
She scrambled but the knocking came again and then an authoritative voice said, “Open it.”
Alice stopped scrambling for the bathroom and reached for something to cover herself with as Dr. Hurd and the overnight orderly walked in.
Dr. Hurd was frowning. “Brant. Alice. I really didn’t believe this could be true, not after what you went through to get here,” he gestured to Alice, and then turned to Brant. “And the fuss you made over Penny’s attentions.”
“There’s a big difference between being offered a blow job by a whore with dirty knees and being in love.” Brant reached out and took Alice’s hand.
“It’s not allowed. We encourage friendship and sharing and mutual support, but a romantic relationship creates a euphoric high that masks the symptoms of withdrawal. It’s counterproductive.”
“What about patients who are married?” Brant insisted.
“Love later in a marriage, especially one that has been strained by a drug addiction, is very different from the love of a new couple.”
“So we make each other happy, what’s wrong with that? We both know we aren’t cured yet.”
“Maybe you are aware enough but it’s still against the rules. You both knew that. I’m going to have to ask you to leave, before breakfast.”
Brant stood, no longer caring that he was naked. “I’ll leave, no fight, but let Alice stay. She’s so close to kicking it for good. Please, don’t make her leave now. If I’m not here she can focus on healing.”
“I’m sorry. Please get packed.”
“You heartless bastard.” His hands balled into fists.
Alice touched his arm. “Brant, it’s okay. I feel ready to leave. I don’t think I’m fully recovered but I think I could make it now. We’ll go.”
Brant nodded.
“Can you find my clothes?”
Dr. Hurd stepped back. “Mr. Nichols will wait in the hallway. Please give him your key cards when you’re finished.”
“I’m sorry Alice, if I had kept my fat mouth shut …”
“Brant, I love you, I just needed a nudge to see it. We all would have been miserable with all those emotions bottled up inside of us.” She sighed. “I just don’t know where to go. My mom has a little one bedroom place and my brother wants nothing to do with me.”
“Tell him you’re clean.”
“Without proof from Dr. Keaton he’ll never believe me.” She shook her head.
“Come home with me.”
“I wasn’t fishing for an invitation.”
“Alice, we’re supposed to be in love. Where you go, I go. Where I go, you go. We’ll do this together, all right?”
“What about Seth? I don’t want to rub this in his face.”
“Seth needs to grow up.” He kissed her. “Go pack. I’ll meet you in the hallway.”
* * * *
Dr. Keaton met them at the front door; he was still wearing his coat. “I’m sorry to see you both go. You two were making real progress. Brant, remember your recovery plan, okay?” He smiled at Alice. “I’m proud of you. I think you’ve come a long way these last few days. I might not have been ready to discharge you but I think you’ll make it.”
The secretary called to them. “You need to sign some papers.”
Brant lingered so he could talk to Dr. Keaton alone. “Do me a favour, if you really think she can make it, call her brother and tell him she’s clean. Give him my number so he can find her if he chooses to.”
“I’ll see what I can do. Good luck, Brant.”
They walked out onto the parking lot. The morning commute was well under way and the cars zipped back and forth on the road beyond the manicured bushes. “So, what now?” Alice asked.
Before Brant could answer, Seth stormed across the parking lot. “Seth? I thought you’d have left last night.”
“You lying bastard. ‘Just friends’ you said. You kicked me out so I wouldn’t blow your cover. I thought you didn’t want to get to know any of the low-life druggie scum in the clinic. I thought you said they were all losers.”
“That doesn’t matter now,” Brant said with a shrug. “I know it’s a lot to ask but could you give us a lift back to the farm? I can pay for all the gas.”
Seth laughed. “I don’t want you in my car, Brant. Besides, you still owe me for the groceries and the hotel room.”
“I need this money to get home. I thought I could pay your way too.”
“Figures. You always want something from everybody.” He turned to Alice. “You just wait. When he doesn’t want anything from you anymore he’ll forget all about you. I could have protected you, Alice. I loved you.”
“Seth, I don’t need to be locked in a cage and coddled. I need to learn to stand up to the world on my own. You never would have let me do that. You’re more worried about me getting hurt that I am.”
“I love you; of course I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I don’t need to be protected; I need to be supported. I need to make mistakes and actually learn from them. Would you let me do that? Or are you going to clean up after me all the time?”
“So you think it’s better to be with a drug addict again? What happened to learning from your mistakes?”
“I have. I’m sorry, Seth, my mind is made up, I’m staying with Brant.”
“To hell with you then!” He was surprised to feel tears in his eyes. “When he breaks your heart don’t come crawling to me. I won’t save you!” He turned back to Brant. “And the next time your temper snaps you’re on your own. I won’t be there to smooth it over for you. You’re a spoiled, arrogant, heartless first born bastard. You have never given a damn about anybody but yourself.”
�
�I’ve heard it all before Seth, I know it’s true.”
“I hope I’m there when this game of yours falls apart. I hope I’m there when you put your foot so far in your mouth that your sponsors abandon ship. I hope I’m there when all your spoiled dreams fall apart and you realize you’ll be stuck growing potatoes just like Dad.”
“Seth, don’t say something you’ll regret. In a few weeks …”
“No, Brant, this won’t blow over. I won’t get used to it. I won’t play second fiddle anymore. I won’t walk in your shadow anymore and I won’t be covering for you anymore. You and I are done. Forever. Find yourself another unlucky schmuck to tune your piece of shit car. Without me your career is over.” He turned and stormed off.
“Seth!” Brant called but his brother never looked back. The car tore out of the lot and into traffic to the sound of blaring horns.
“I guess we’re back to ‘now what?’ aren’t we?” Brant said.
“Did you really say those things?”
“Unfortunately, yes. Turns out I was the low-life scum.”
“Any idea how we’re getting out of here?” she said, taking his hand.
He stared at her in utter amazement. “We find a bus depot, buy two tickets, and get as close to the farm as we can. Then we call for a ride and hope someone there has pity on us. What do you think?”
“It’s kind of romantic in a hobo sort of way.”
He laughed and kissed the back of her hand. “Let’s hit the road.”
Epilogue
The phone rang interrupting Gerald’s rant about potato bugs and ‘green-loving hippy tree huggers’ who hounded him for using pesticides. Chloe happily skipped away from the table with an over-enthusiastic “I’ve got it!” leaving her mom and Trey to listen as Gerald resumed.
“Hello!”
“Hi Chloe, it’s Brant.”
“How does everyone know it’s me from one little word?”
“You’re perkier than Mom and you sound nothing like Dad.”
“Good point.”
“Look, Chloe, I know we weren’t on the best of terms when I left but I need a favor. I’m at the bus depot in Sturgis with no way home.”
