Mistakes : A College Bully Romance

by Candace Wondrak

  Fuck. I’d really fallen hard for this one, somehow.

  “Before I give you your phone back, I want to know something.”

  I immediately stopped fiddling with my fingers, flicking my eyes up to his. A shadow lingered there, a desire to know the truth. Somehow, someway, I knew exactly what he was going to ask, even before those sexy lips spoke the words. Something about that night, about what I did.

  “Was he a mistake, or just me?” Levi leveled the question as if it was something easy to answer, even easier to say.

  The only thing I could do was stare at him. I could lie, but…lying was what got us here in the first place. No, there was no point in lying now. No point in hiding the truth or sugarcoating it. If Levi wanted the truth, he’d get the truth, and in return, I’d get my phone back and never have it leave my sight again.

  I’d said some hurtful things to Levi, it was true. Calling him a mistake was…terribly mean, and I honestly didn’t mean it. I’d meant it at the time as an insult, a way to get him to leave me alone, to convince myself that I didn’t feel anything for him.

  A lie. It had been a lie, even then.

  “If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you don’t have to. I already feel like shit,” I told him, resisting the urge to bite my tongue and stop myself from saying something else I’d regret further down the road. “You know as well as I do that I only said that to try to convince myself to stop seeing you, but was he a mistake? Yeah, yeah he was. And if you’re wondering, I’ve also fucked up my friendship with my best friend because of it, so I don’t need your judgment, or your silly questions, or even that look on your face.”

  Levi said nothing, which, as it turned out, was the wrong thing to say. Or, well, not to say.

  “I might’ve fucked up my friendship with Ash beyond repair because I hooked up with someone she kind of likes, so please, Levi, don’t add any more shit onto my pile. I’ve already got enough shit for the next decade, at least.”

  Levi leaned forward, setting his arms on the table between us. “So you regret it?”

  Suddenly I was aware of how quiet the union was, how heavy the air around me felt. Or maybe that was just the weight of his question. “I do, not that it matters much.”

  His blue eyes zeroed in on me, dropping to my mouth for only a split-second before he set two fingers on the screen of my phone and slowly slid it over to me, crossing the halfway mark on the table. He did not, however, release his hold on my phone right away. Levi spoke, “And I regret what I did last year.” A pause, a heavy beat before he added, “Not that it matters much.”

  Using me and what I did to try to alleviate what he did. Of course. The bastard was still playing the game, even now. It shouldn’t surprise me, but it did.

  “Just because we regret them doesn’t mean our mistakes go away,” I muttered. I was slow to reach for my phone, even though two of his fingers still lingered on it, holding it down. Life wasn’t magical; you couldn’t say sorry and have everything miraculously be better. It didn’t work that way.

  “I never said they did.”

  “Then what do you want, Levi?”

  Levi didn’t miss a beat, didn’t hesitate when he said, “I want to hear you call me Blue again.”

  Blue? The stupid nickname I’d given him because I hated his real name? That’s what he wanted? I started to smile in spite of myself, though I knew I shouldn’t. I just couldn’t help it. Who knew everything could be solved with a nickname?

  “You,” he whispered, the word the softest-spoken syllable ever. The addition to his previous statement made the breath catch in the back of my throat, my heart speed up, and my cheeks flush. “I want you.”

  “But—” I stopped myself from saying it, from finding all of the excuses I had to tell this man no. Levi Harlen was no boy; he was the man who had my heart, and he still held it in his hands, as much as I hated to admit.

  Levi spoke, “I know there’s a thousand reasons we shouldn’t be together, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. From the moment you walked away, the only thing I could think about was you. How to get you back, how to make you stay, how to make you believe that I would never hurt you.”

  Heartfelt. His words were heartfelt, and I…I felt so stupid, but I believed every single one of them.

  “I don’t want anyone else touching you,” Levi stated, as if he was the master to my self, my whole being. As if he had every right to tell me who could or couldn’t touch me. “You’re mine, Kelsey, even if you don’t see it yet. Even if you don’t want to be.”

  He should be angry, shouldn’t he? He should be telling me off or swearing at me or…something. This, this felt different than I expected it to. This felt so real it was unreal.

  “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, and I’m not saying it’s not going to be hard, but…I need you. I need us to try,” Levi said, his fingers finally releasing my phone, allowing me to pull it towards me, cradling it to my chest like a long-lost child.

  If I agreed to what Levi said, if I told him yes, I knew things would escalate in a matter of seconds. He and I would find the first empty room, maybe that unisex bathroom I knew was around the corner near the apparel shop, and get to know each other’s bodies again. Hot skin and greedy fingers, we’d never get enough.

  It was one reason why I couldn’t say yes. Why I couldn’t agree to what he said.

  “What about Mel?” I asked. “What about Dean?” Just the thought of being with Levi again made me excited and giddy, but hesitant because of Mel. I’d kept him from her once; I couldn’t do it again.

  And, of course, this was provided that he and I could get past each other’s baggage and mistakes, of which there were many. Neither of us were innocent, but I supposed that was the point. We were both wild, both stubborn, both unwilling to admit that we were wrong. This must’ve been difficult for him; it certainly was for me.

  Who knew that when two unstoppable forces met each other, they both just…stopped?

  “I’m sorry,” I said, jerking to my feet. My head was spinning. I needed air. I needed to breathe away from him, to cool myself down. “I need to go. I have stuff I need to do. Homework stuff.” Homework stuff. Oh, yeah. I was a regular silver-tongued Don Juan, wasn’t I?

  After sliding my phone in my pocket, I quickly tossed on Mel’s raincoat, but not before Levi got to his feet, towering like the tall, sexy, dangerously attractive man he was.

  “Wait,” he said, starting to walk after me when I hurried away.

  I didn’t want to say anything else, didn’t want to hear anything else. Why couldn’t he understand that? I couldn’t deal with this right now.

  A strong hand grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop. Levi’s hand did not loosen on my arm, even as I turned to look at him, so I knew better than to pull away. “Stop running from me,” Levi practically growled out, the sound not unwelcome to my ears.

  Not going to lie. I found him immensely attractive when he was being all alpha on me. That night when he tore Grady off me and pinned me against the car? Nothing hotter.

  “You don’t get to tell me what to do,” I told him.

  Levi was slow in letting go of my arm, his lips turning into a frown. Never before had I seen a more handsome frown. This man could make anything look sexy. “Please, Kelsey.”

  My heart skipped a beat. Levi didn’t seem like the type of man who ever pleaded for anything, let alone a girl. “I need time. I need to think.” It was more than obvious that I couldn’t think straight while around his impressive presence.

  Plus, my eyes kept wandering to places they shouldn’t.

  Those jeans hugged him really well.

  Now it was my turn to beg: “Please, just give me some time. I’m not…I’m not myself right now.” That much he had to have already known. I wasn’t acting like my usual self; even a blind man could see it.

  Levi let out a harsh sigh. “Fine, but don’t make me wait forever.” He took a step closer to me, tilting his head,
and I felt way too hot and bothered inside the raincoat. It was like a hundred degrees in here or something. Hoo, boy. “I’ll only end up coming for you again.”

  A warning. A warning that this, whatever it was, was a tame Levi—which I totally could see.

  Levi, even after what I did, what I said, refused to give up on me. If I was a better person, wouldn’t I feel the same about him? Maybe I did, deep down, but that still left Mel out of it, not to mention Dean. Two people who probably didn’t want to see Levi and me together. Mel’s reason, at least, was a good one. Dean, well…he could go jump off a bridge for all I cared.

  I said nothing else as I flipped up the hood, breathed in Levi’s scent, and then hightailed it out of the union at the speed of light. I could not get away from that man fast enough.

  He was persistent, I’d give him that.

  Annoyingly so.

  God, I loved his fucked-up ass so much.

  Chapter Eight – Kelsey

  The weekend passed in a blur, and before I knew it, Monday morning came with swift vengeance. Okay, I was mostly tired because I’d been up all hours of the night the past few days thinking about what Levi said.

  I couldn’t get back with him, not after everything with Mel. Not after what I did.

  But he wanted to try…

  But he fucked her. Both literally and figuratively, and she’d nearly killed herself. What kind of message would that send Mel if I started dating him? Hey, I know you’re my roommate and all, I know I said I cared about your feelings and all that, but I decided to start fucking Levi behind your back again. Don’t be mad, ‘kay?

  Yeah. Somehow I didn’t think that would sit well with her, mostly because it didn’t sit right with me, either.

  As I sat in class though, as I pretended to listen to my professors drone on and on, I wondered if it was really the case. Maybe I made excuses to not try harder. Maybe I was just afraid…terrified of letting someone else in.

  I’d never had a broken heart before. Never even came close. I’d been so closed-off to love during high school that it was the last thing on my mind. Never had crushes; didn’t see the point. Me and love didn’t fit in the same sentence. It didn’t sound right.

  So, I guessed, deep down that could be the reason I was so reluctant. It certainly wasn’t the sex. Sex with Levi was…hell, it was the best sex I’d ever had, no matter which position we were in, or where we were at. His lips on mine were like lava, heating me up in all the right places, and his touch…oh, his touch could set a fire even in the most barren, coldest of places.

  If I was just afraid, if I was making excuses for myself, soon enough my excuses would run out.

  Who the hell did I turn into when I wasn’t looking? I never made excuses for anything. I never second-guessed myself or wallowed. The Kelsey I’d been lately…just wasn’t me. I needed to get back to myself, ASAP.

  That’s what I swore to myself, and what I continued to swear to myself as the Monday wore on.

  It was early afternoon, and I was walking to the union to get food, steeling myself to snap the fuck out of the funk I’d been in, when my phone buzzed in my pocket. My heart actually skipped a beat because I thought it might be Ash or Levi—but it wasn’t. It was Mel.

  And it was so, so much worse.

  Mel thought Dean was following her. She was making circles near the psychology building, not wanting to walk back to the dorm. She was afraid he would follow her, and she was asking me for help.

  Eh, it was a nice enough day outside. Chilly, but that’s because I only wore a tank top underneath my hoodie. The sky was clear, however, and the sun was bright. The day was as good as any other day to start a fight with a dick.

  I’d actually been itching for a fight. Didn’t get into them often, but I liked to think I could hold my own. The bigger the ego, the better it was to watch them fall.

  Not the saying, but it fit.

  I texted her I’d be right there, and I spun on my heel, nearly knocking into the group of SCC students walking behind me. “Sorry,” I apologized to them when they started muttering something about me watching where I was going. Sorry. What I really wanted to say was fuck you, but that was my general response to pretty much everyone.

  I hurried through campus, walking at a brisk pace, my eyes scanning the nearby area for Mel. Hell, at this point, I’d take Dean. Tackle him, punch him in the dick so hard he’d never cum again without thinking of me.

  Yeah, that’d be a mood killer, wouldn’t it?

  The psychology building was an old-school building, one of the first built on campus, only four floors high and made of the same red brick that all the older buildings on campus were. Hardly any windows, and the glass on the doors was tinted so you couldn’t see inside. The newer buildings weren’t like that, and had an overabundance of natural light inside. A building like this wouldn’t be caught dead in Hillcrest, not that a building itself could be caught dead anywhere.

  My brain was tired, okay? I did my best.

  Near the north side of the building, I found Mel walking, though it looked more like she was pacing. And, surely enough, Dean was not even thirty feet behind her.

  He looked…like shit, actually. Dean looked like shit. It wasn’t a sentence I ever thought I’d think, mostly because the dipshit never looked terrible, even when he was drunk or saying piss-poor stupid things. He was a good-looking guy normally, which was why I gave Mel a pass when it came to her weakness for him.

  But today? Oh, today he looked terrible. His nose was in some kind of splint, and it looked as though dark, splotchy bruises lined his jaw.

  Wondered how much uglier he’d be once I was up close.

  The angle I came upon them, I had to walk past Mel to get to Dean. Both of them saw me coming, but it was too late for either one of them to do anything. I was on a warpath, and I would not be dissuaded.

  Mel’s face brightened at my presence, and I stormed past her, throwing down my bag. A good thing I was too poor to afford my own laptop; would’ve broken it in half or cracked the screen at that display of aggression. But it needed to be done. I needed to get Dean’s attention, and me slamming down my bag in the middle of the sidewalk in between classes was sure to get his—along with everyone else’s who was nearby.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I practically hissed out the words as I met his bruised face head-on. He was a bit taller than me; if I had to guess, I’d say he was dead near as tall as Mel, maybe an inch higher. Now that I was less than a foot away from him—standing far too close, but in instances like this, you had to be close to get your point through—I was able to see just how bad the bruising really was.

  Looked like I wasn’t the only one Dean had been in a fight with.

  “I’m not doing anything,” Dean spoke, narrowing his eyes down at me…although his tough-guy expression was basically nullified by the fact that he wore some kind of nose brace. Beneath it, his nose appeared a tad swollen. Did somebody break the poor boy’s nose?

  Good for them.

  “I’m just walking,” he added, pushing his luck. Each word he said pushed his luck with me. I was so not in the mood to deal with his shit.

  “No, you’re not just walking,” I informed him. “You’re following my friend, being the worst stalker I’ve ever seen. And that—that’s not something I can sit back and watch.”

  Dean’s jaw clenched, his teeth grinding in the ugliest way possible. This guy might normally have a pretty face, but he did nothing to hide his inner ugliness. If he wasn’t this terrible back in high school, college changed him for the worse. I highly doubted Mel would spend years with someone who was as dickish as Dean. No, the dickish behavior had to come after.

  “What are you going to do about it?” Dean posed the question. “You think you can beat me in a fight, Kelsey?” He laughed, right in my face, too. The bastard.

  “I think it looks like you’re pretty shitty at fights,” I told him, sizing him up, paying extra special attention to t
he bruising and whatever was on his nose. “I mean, have you looked in a mirror recently? You look horrible. You really want to look even worse? Because you will, by the time I’m done with you—”

  Dean scoffed, his brows furrowing, and he leaned closer to me to whisper, “Just like Levi. So headstrong. It’s going to get you into trouble one of these days.” Worded and spoken like a threat, one I took seriously.

  “Are you going to stop following Mel, or am I going to have to show you that I mean business? I’ve taken down bigger guys than you.” Okay, couldn’t recall offhand exactly when or where I’d taken down bigger guys in a non-sexual way, but I was sure I did. I got into some shit with Ash, back in high school.

  Seemed like ages ago, even though it was really only half a year.

  “I’m going to do what I fucking want.” That was all Dean could say, all I gave him a chance to say.

  I mean, I did give him a fair warning to admit he was being a douchebag in stalking her, but now? Now I was kind of pissed. He thought he could walk around campus, doing whatever the hell he wanted, when he wanted? Oh, he had another thing coming.

  He’d see a blow to the face coming; it looked like whoever it was gave him a few good punches, so he’d probably learned from his mistake of not guarding his face enough. I could take a chance and go for it, but I didn’t want to gamble.

  No, I’d go somewhere lower.

  “Okay,” I said, sounding like I’d had enough, that Dean convinced me he was the almighty and I was just a slave to him, that I’d let him go on and do whatever it was he wanted. An innocent voice. A voice he believed, judging from the way his stern, annoyed expression relaxed. Not for long, though.

  My right hand curled into a fist, and in the blink of an eye, I gave him the hardest punch I could at this angle. Underhanded, right in the kidney. Right where it would hurt something fierce.

  Dean took a step back, his eyes widening, his hands moving to touch where I’d punched. He wasn’t the kind of guy to stand back and not retaliate, so I knew I had to leave. Plus, there were too many other students watching; that meant no ball-kicking, for now. If I found out he stalked Mel again, a punch to the kidney would be the least of Dean’s worries.