Mistakes : A College Bully Romance

by Candace Wondrak

  Kelsey’s dark eyes snapped up. “Uh, I’m not sure yet. I’m undecided.” She hadn’t eaten much, I noticed, just moved around the food on her plate. She’d started eating less and less after the night she found Mel.

  I…I didn’t want to think about that. Mel was still in the hospital, still not waking up. The doctors said she was stabilized, but…

  No. I would not think about that right now.

  My mom tossed me a look, as if asking, See? I told you she wasn’t good enough for you. I hated that my mom thought she could judge Kelsey so much. Hated it with my full being. “You should decide soon,” she said. “The sooner you decide, the sooner you can start taking some classes that will actually further your education.”

  “You’re right,” Kelsey said, far too meek. I didn’t like seeing her submit to my mother; I missed her fire, but I knew if she showed her fire to my mother, this whole house would blow up. Needless to say, that would be bad.

  When my mom looked at me, I managed to smile. It was an obviously fake smile, not the kind of smile I gave Kelsey when she was being ridiculous, but my mom accepted it all the same.

  Could this day just be over already?

  Chapter Eighteen – Kelsey

  No sneaking around for Levi and I while at his mom’s house. I…wasn’t feeling it. Not after overhearing some of the shit she’d told him—and listening to him just walk away instead of defending me to her. I mean, that was wrong, right? I wasn’t blowing shit out of proportion needlessly, was I? He should’ve said something, done something…

  But he didn’t, and that made me wonder if Levi, deep down, agreed with his mother. If he thought we were just something to pass the time, that I wasn’t the kind of girl he could settle down with.

  I…it made me upset.

  As we got in the car the next day, I was quiet, even though I was leaping for joy we would no longer be subjected to his oh so wonderful mother. Yeah, that bitch was not someone I wanted as a mother-in-law, but…

  Fuck. I shouldn’t be thinking that far ahead. If Levi thought this was just a college thing, then I really should stop myself from thinking about the future. It was quite possible we didn’t have one, which saddened me more than I ever wanted to admit.

  I was quiet after telling Levi my parents’ address, still quiet even as we got on the road. He didn’t turn his music up, which let us linger in the silence perhaps a bit too much. I didn’t mind the quiet; our ride to his house had been mostly quiet, but this? This was different. I was trapped in my own head, wondering things I shouldn’t.

  This was not a comfortable silence, it was the opposite, although I did wonder if Levi felt it, too.

  Maybe I was just being an angsty teenager. Maybe this was me making up for all those years I didn’t care. Now I cared too much.

  My eyes stared out the window, and I set my hands in my lap, tugging mindlessly on the hoodie’s sleeves. That dinner yesterday was miserable. Frankly, I never wanted to see that woman again. She was everything I didn’t want to be. She might make enough money to keep that house, pay the bills, and send Levi to college, but at what cost? She was a bitch, and she was all alone. I didn’t want to be like that. Not even a little.

  It was a while before the silence of the car was broken. Levi glanced to me, asking, “You okay?”

  “I’m surprised you care,” I muttered under my breath, albeit without thinking. Now was not the time to start drama. This—being in a relationship—wasn’t easy, and I…I wondered more and more if I could handle it. If I was meant for one.

  What if I wasn’t?

  “What?” Levi asked, immediately sounding annoyed. That was something about him—he never hid things from me. Not anymore. If he was annoyed, he let me know it, just as I did to him. You couldn’t tame wildfires like us easily. “Of course I care.”

  My jaw tensed, my teeth grinding. I knew I shouldn’t say what I was about to say, but my mouth went ahead and said it aloud anyways, “You didn’t seem to care the other night when your mom said I was a slut.” Okay, it wasn’t exactly what she said, but paraphrasing worked. It was basically what she said, in fewer words.

  “If I wasn’t on the fucking highway, I’d pull over,” Levi instantly said, practically growling like an animal. He tossed me a fast look, his brows furrowed. “You really think I don’t care? Goddamn it, Kelsey, of course I care. I’m sorry you heard what she said, but my mom’s a bitch—”

  “Why didn’t you defend me to her?”

  “You don’t need defending,” Levi said, blue eyes icy. “You can defend yourself just fine. And I—I didn’t say anything to her, because I knew if I did, I’d fucking blow up. I was trying to keep it cool.”

  He was right when he said I didn’t need defending. I didn’t so much care about what his mom had said, more so that he hadn’t leapt to my defense. But, I was slow to realize, maybe he was right. Maybe holding back was better; keeping the peace. There was no point in blowing up and making the next day and a half miserable when we were going to leave there anyways.

  Still, though. It would be nice if I knew I could depend on Levi to have my back. What if there came a day when I couldn’t defend myself? What if I was weak sometimes? It was tough being strong all the freaking time.

  Honestly? I think Levi and I still had a lot to learn about this relationship stuff.

  After a car ride that was nearly two hours long thanks to an accident on the highway, Levi pulled into a driveway that was both familiar and unfamiliar. Familiar because it was my house, the house I’d grown up in, the house I’d listened to my parents bickering about money and other things for years, but also unfamiliar because the only car I saw in the driveway was my old rust bucket.

  The house only had a one-car garage. My rust bucket was parked beside it so it was out of the way, and usually my dad parked his car in it. My mom’s car always sat outside…but it wasn’t here.

  That made me uneasy.

  It was the day after Thanksgiving. I knew her office was closed today; it’d been closed every year the Friday after Thanksgiving. Unless they changed their policy…

  Levi and I got out of the car. He was still kind of pissed at me for saying what I did earlier, but that was fine. The drama queen would get over it eventually. I headed to the front door, stepping up the steps that had seen better days. It wasn’t locked, which let us walk right in.

  Immediately I smelled something good cooking and saw my dad in the kitchen…wearing the ugliest Thanksgiving sweater he could find, probably. A turkey sewed onto its belly, green sleeves, white everything else.

  “Kelsey,” my dad exclaimed, dropping whatever he was doing—mashing potatoes, from what it looked like—and came over to greet us. He wore a big smile, and, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t look tired. No bags hung under his eyes, and the grey I would’ve sworn that was in his hair before was nowhere to be seen, its inch-length just brown.

  Wait a minute. Did my dad dye his hair? What the fuck?

  “Dad,” I said, totally confused.

  “And you,” my dad brought his smile to Levi, about to offer his hand, but then he realized his hand was full of food bits. “Oops, sorry. You must be Levi. I’d say I’ve heard a lot about you, but Kelsey has been pretty tight-lipped.” He went to the sink to wash off his hands, returning to shake Levi’s hand like the father he was.

  I could not roll my eyes hard enough.

  “Good to meet you, Levi,” my dad went on.

  “It’s good to meet you too, Sir—”

  “Oh, none of that. Call me Kevin. No sirs in this house.”

  Oh, my God. I wanted to die. This was…this was ten times more awkward than I imagined it being, and I imagined it being pretty fucking awkward. My dad was…acting all weird. And then I realized how he was acting.

  Happy. He was happy.

  Had my dad been miserable for years? I didn’t think I’d ever seen him like this.

  “Go put your stuff upstairs,” my dad said. “I have a che
eseball we can eat.”

  Ooh. Yum. A ball of cheese.

  As we headed up the stairs, I saw that my house was a lot messier than Levi’s. I was almost embarrassed, but then I remembered who I was and that I didn’t care. This was me. This was my life before SCC, and if Levi didn’t like it, he could walk out the door.

  I didn’t want him to, but he could.

  We didn’t have a guest room, our house smaller than Levi’s, so I wasn’t sure where Levi would be sleeping. Probably the couch in the living room. For now, we set everything in my room.

  “Your dad seems nice,” Levi remarked, turning his head to view my room. He took in my dark comforter with its constellation-galaxy print, and all of the photographs I had shoved into the mirror on my dresser. My room was a thousand times smaller and fuller than his, and I felt, for the first time in a long time, a tad self-conscious.

  He moved to the mirror, studying the pictures. Me and Ash, back before she started dying the bottom of her hair pink. Both of us smiling like idiots, blowing kissy faces, hugging each other. Small pictures taken at the local mall in the photo booth. Nothing too fancy.

  God, I missed those times. Things were simpler for me back then.

  “Is that Ash?” Levi asked, glancing at me.

  I moved beside him. “Yep.” My heart still hurt when I thought about what I did, how I hadn’t spoken to her since then, how shitty it all was, but I had to push it aside. Now was not the time to be miserable while thinking of Ash and my mistake. Now was the time to let my dad play host, I guess.

  When we walked back downstairs, my dad had the cheeseball out in the living room, along with a tray of crackers. I noticed the TV had the parade paused…did he tape it for me? Way overkill, but we’d watch. I did love the parade in New York with the floats and performances.

  Levi and I sat on the couch, and my dad sat on his favorite reclining chair; its leather was old and worn, and it had seen better days. Still, my dad looked like a kid in a candy shop. I wasn’t used to his happy, grinning face.

  Made me feel like a shitty daughter, having never noticed how miserable he was before.

  “So,” I said, causing both Levi’s and my dad’s eyes to turn to me, “where’s Mom?”

  The smile on my dad’s face faltered, and his gaze glanced down. “She’s…she should be on her way here.”

  “Did she have to go to work?”

  “No, Kelsey. Your mom moved out.”

  The words hit me like a wall, knocking the air out of my lungs. Of course, I’d known this would happen eventually, but…I didn’t know. I guessed I always hoped they’d reconcile, that they would change their minds about their divorce. A silly thing to hope.

  Her moving out just made it more official.

  “Where?” I asked.

  “That’s something your mother should tell you,” he said, and I got the not-so-subtle hint.

  I quieted down. I ate the cheeseball. I watched the parade, trying to act like it was the good old days, just with Levi instead of my mom. All the while, Levi and my dad got to know each other. Dad asked Levi about his classes, what he wanted to do with his life, and I zoned out. I was hardly in my own head.

  The hours ticked by, and Dad got up to finish cooking and do whatever it was he had to do. Eventually, after a long while, a car pulled up, parking behind Levi’s Escape. I was able to see it through the windows, and Levi grabbed my hand, squeezing hard.

  I knew it was his way of telling me to calm down, that everything would be okay, but…I just didn’t think it would.

  The world outside had pretty decent weather for the day after Thanksgiving, but it wasn’t enough to make me feel better. My stomach was in knots as my mom made her way to the front door, stepping in after knocking.

  Knocking, as if this wasn’t her house.

  It…it wasn’t, not anymore.

  When my mom walked in, she looked…good, too. Her black hair was curled, her green eyes sparkling and vibrant with new life. She looked like she was thirty years old, like time itself had reversed. Suddenly I understood why so many people said my mom didn’t look like she was old enough to have a kid in college.

  Compared to her I was a freaking potato.

  “Hello, Kevin,” my mom said, being polite as my dad told her hello. She took off her jacket and her shoes before meeting us in the living room. Levi had gotten to his feet to shake her hand, but I remained sitting, my arms crossed.

  “Hello, ma’am,” Levi spoke, “I’m Levi.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” my mom spoke. To me, she added, “Very handsome.”

  I rolled my eyes. This sucked ass, and I was not mature enough to hide my displeasure. Once Levi sat down beside me, my mom still staring at me expectantly, I asked, “Why are you even here? You apparently don’t live here anymore.”

  “I’m here so we can have one more Thanksgiving as a family,” she said, frowning at me. “I’m here for you, Kelsey.”

  I got up, saying nothing as I stormed upstairs, closing my bedroom door before falling onto my bed. For me? She was here for me? I didn’t ask her to be here. I didn’t ask for any of this. They were the ones who weren’t content with me spending my entire break with Levi. They had to make me struggle through nearly two days at his house with his unbearable mother only to come here and face the fact that everything had changed.

  How was that supposed to make me happy? Why did I want that?

  I didn’t.

  It wasn’t long before someone came in, and I didn’t bother looking. It was either one of my parents or Levi, and right now I wasn’t ready to talk to any of them.

  “What’s wrong?” Levi’s voice broke into my racing thoughts, and I refused to look at him, keeping my face firmly planted in my pillow. He sat next to me on the bed, setting a hand on my upper leg, precariously close to my ass. “You need to try to be nice, Kelsey. They’re your parents, and it’s obvious they’re trying—”

  “What would you know about it?” I asked, slowly turning my head aside to glare at him.

  “I know you’re being a little childish,” he said. “Your parents are separated. It is what it is. It’s not the end of the world.”

  I sat up, less than a foot from him. I either wanted to strangle him or make-out with him. Not sure which one. “Yeah, but…” I trailed off, biting my lower lip.

  “But things are going to change,” he said, blue eyes unrelenting as they stared at me. “Yes, they are. But just because things are going to change doesn’t automatically mean change is bad. It might be good, but you have to give it a chance.”

  A chuckle left me. “Since when do you talk like some kind of fortune cookie, Blue?” He was about to answer, but I shut him up by kissing him hard. “Sorry about being such a bitch.”

  He shrugged, smirking. “We all have our moments. You just have them more often than anyone else I know.” I shoved him playfully, causing him to add, “Okay, okay. Except my mom. But everyone else, you have them beaten.”

  Leave it to Levi to cheer me up, somehow. Leave it to him to just be there and make it better. Frankly, if he wasn’t here with me, I doubted I’d be handling this all so well. He was my rock, and I needed him, and I hoped, prayed he knew it.

  As we got up and headed to my door, I grabbed his hand and stopped him, pulling him back. Those blue eyes found mine, taking the breath out of my lungs. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I told him, meaning it. Meaning every single word. Lovey-dovey wasn’t in my nature, but with him, it sort of came naturally.

  Dinner was ready at four, and my dad had pulled the kitchen table away from the wall so the four of us could sit around it. I was the lucky one who got pinned between the wall and the table, leaving Levi to sit beside my dad, and my mom on my other side. The table before me was full: turkey, gravy boats, cranberries, bread rolls, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and a few other things. So full. So much food I doubted we’d be able to eat it all.

  I wasn’t really hungry, so my plate was sparse. Af
ter we said our thanks, we dug in.

  The table was quiet for a long while, the only sounds the silverware clinking on the table and glasses being picked up and set down. I ate a bit of turkey, but turkey wasn’t my favorite meat. More often than not it was too dry. Dad had cooked the turkey well enough, but eh.

  After dinner came the pies. Apple, pumpkin, and even pecan. Those my dad bought from a store; no way he’d be able to cook it all by himself—although he seemed to do well enough with everything else.

  Everyone was stuffed afterward, except me, because I’d pretty much just moved around my food, only eating a few bites here and there. My appetite hadn’t been the same lately. Levi and my dad had cleanup duty, which let me sit in the living room, unfortunately accompanied by my mom.

  My favorite person in the whole world. Loved her so freaking much.

  “So,” I whispered, tearing my eyes off the TV. Finally we’d taken the parade off repeat, now watching whatever was on. I glared at my mom. “Where’d you move to?”

  “A condo, actually,” my mom said. She sat near me on the couch, but a cushion sat between us. “It is something I wanted to discuss with you, Kelsey. I know you…you’re not happy with your father and I divorcing, but it’s going to be finalized next month. We decided not to drag each other down, just to cut ties.”

  My stomach curdled. I had no idea why she was telling me this, why she thought it was a good idea to explain to me how amiable their divorce was. Didn’t want to hear it.

  “I want to be honest with you, honey,” my mom went on, reaching over to grab my hand, but I moved it away from her before she could, causing her to harshly sigh. “I’m not alone in the condo. If you’re feeling up to it, I would like you to meet Shawn—”

  Hold up. Who the fuck was Shawn?

  “Shawn?” I asked, blinking. Somehow I knew whatever answer she gave me would not make me a happy camper.

  “I’ve been seeing Shawn for a little under two years. Your father knew. It doesn’t have to be soon, but he is a good man, and I—”