Toska

by A. R. Kingston

  Shuddering at the revelation, I glance back up, the flow has picked up. A crimson wave rushes down past me, splashing on the skirt of my dress and filling my shoes up with warm liquid. Swallowing hard, I remind myself that I am in hell, I can expect nothing less from the dark kingdom. Digging my nails into the palms of my hands I step into the mouth of the hearth. Staring up into oblivion, I am petrified of what I will find upstairs. Briefly shutting my eyes, I remind myself that I do not have the time nor the luxury to cower in fear right now. After this is over, I can allow myself to break down, but for now, I must gather all the courage I have left and move forward.

  Taking a deep breath, I began to ascend the crippled old stairs of blood, pressing my hand against the wall to steady myself as I walk. Sloshing in the scarlet liquid I begin to realize that even the composition of the tunnel is deceiving, the walls are no longer made of brick. Instead, they have turned into human flesh.

  I can feel the hairs on them as I move forward, an occasional eyeball rolls in its socket as I continue to climb. The noses breather in deep to inhale my scent and the lips part so the teeth can try and sneak a bite out of me. An occasional tongue will lick my hand as it streaks by, and the mouths chatter and laugh as I continue to ascend the bloody stairs. The chanting is growing louder as I shuffle to the top, one uneven, slick step at a time. The river of blood still threatens to knock me over and carry me back down to the second floor.

  A faint scent of Frankincense wafts its way down past me, an odd choice for a sanctuary of the devil. Coming closer to the top of the stairs, the ceiling of the tunnel ends. I begin to see a faint light flickering on the walls and find myself inside a vast brick chamber, lined with candles. Black pillars glimmer along the walls and floor, spilling their dark wax on the wooden planks as they deform under their black flames.

  The attic space is domed, with three windows evenly spaced on each of the two curved side walls. In the middle of the dark walnut floor stands a marble altar, like the kind you’d find in the Greek section of a museum. A blond woman in a burgundy silk robe was chanting at it with her back faced to me. The dark mass stood in front of her, with those two bright, Prussian blue eyes flickering where the faces ought to be.

  Once again, Shawn had been right, Nadia was working with this so-called worm all along, and now she was attempting to summon it into existence. Creeping up silently to the top step, I hid behind the banister and observed as she performs her ritual. The beast, whatever it was, paid no attention to me, its focus was on the altar as Nadia sang her hymn.

  “Accipe sacrificium a patre meo.” Nadia chanted in a hypnotizing voice. " exsisto…” she slit her wrist with the silver dagger, dripping her blood into a silver chalice “…salvum me fac.”

  Raising the cup up in the air, she bowed her head to the dark figure, walking behind the altar she placed the goblet on the ground beside the black mass. Loosening the top of her robe, Nadia turned her head to the left wall. I followed her gaze toward Victor, standing in the corner of the room, unflinching. His eyes were empty, he had a blank stare on his face, almost like he had lost his will to live. Nadia beckoned him forward, and like a mindless zombie, he started to move towards her. Before I knew it, my body was moving forward on its own rushing to intercept him.

  “Victor!” I yelled hoping to get through to him.

  But Victor did not turn his head or even acknowledge my presence; he only continued to move until Nadia halted his progress. Just as I cross the landing, heading for them I get glued to the floor, my feet no longer able to move. I find myself breathless as if the wind had been knocked out of me. My chest burns in the same spot it has the night that Nadia killed me, I feel like I have been shot all over again.

  Grasping the spot where the bullet originally ended my life I can feel the warm sensation of blood seeping it’s way past my fingers again. My eyes trailed down to my feet where a small puddle of crimson blood has begun to form on the floor. Around me, a circle of gold enshrines me, not letting me pass. Across the room, a sinister chuckle echoes under the domed ceiling as I find myself in an invisible cage. My eyes dart around in a panic as I try to figure out what I have managed to get myself into this time.

  From what I can tell this is some sort of symbol that had been painted on the floor in gold. Upon closer inspection, I see I am inside a pentagram, which is inside the Star of David, which in turn was inside another circle with ancient Hebrew writing in between. I am only able to make out a handful of the words; serpent, sword, cross, and eye. My eyes shoot up, and I see Nadia approaching me from across the room. A foul smirk plays on her bright red lips, as she bites down on the lower lip with her pointed fang.

  “Well, looky here.” She slinks closer towards me, swaying her hips as she walks. “It appears my trap has caught me a little mousy.” Nadia starts twirling the dagger on the tip of her finger. “Long time no see, Katya. I would say I’m glad to see you…but, I think we both know that I’d be lying.”

  Unable to tolerate the pain any longer I collapse on the ground, delirious, I have forgotten how much this hurt. My body trembles from the pain as the warm blood continues to ooze through the crack formed by my fingers, dripping rhythmically on the floor. Pressing harder on the old wound I try to still the bleeding as I glare up at Nadia who is grinning down on me, seemingly amused by my pain.

  “What…” I gasp through the throbbing in my chest “…what have you done to me? What is this thing?”

  “This dearie…” she squats down to me and points her dagger at the circle entrapping me. Lifting the blade, she sticks it under my chin, raising my head, so my gaze meets hers “…is a ghost trap. My master had taught it to King Solomon ages ago, to keep pesky spirits at bay.” Nadia digs the sharp tip of the blade into my skin before sliding it out. It stings, I can feel the blood trickling down my neck and falling between my breasts. Smirking, she licks my blood of the edge and bites down on the tip of the dagger before sticking it into the floor with a tremendous amount of force. “Let’s just say that it allows for spirits to relive the moment of their death, over and over again, in all its glory, trapping them inside their own personal hell until the circle is broken.”

  “You…” I growl at her through clenched teeth “…you killed us.”

  “No, mouse…” Nadia gets up and looks down on me in disgust “…I killed you. I gave Victor the gift of eternal life.” She walks around to my side, giving me a swift kick to my stomach, she knocks me completely down to the ground. “You were supposed to stay dead, not come back and ruin things for me at the last moment.”

  “Why…” I manage to prop myself back up, coughing blood up as I move. My blood starts flooding my lungs again as I speak “…why would you do this?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” Nadia hisses at me. “I loved Victor, I wanted him, I would have done anything he asked me to. But did he want me back?” She let out a half-hearted laugh “Oh no. Of course not. He only had eyes for little Katya; the pathetic, shy, quiet daughter of a blacksmith. He worshiped the filthy ground you walked on.” She glared at me as if trying to finish me off with her spite alone. “Honestly, what did he ever see in you?

  “If you were not down on your knees at church praying, you had your nose buried in some stupid book. I’m actually surprised you looked up long enough to notice Victor, let alone love him. What could such a mousy little girl provide him that a real woman like me could not? He deserved so much better than you…he deserved me, and I was going to stop at nothing to get him.”

  “So, you sold your soul just so you could curse a man you supposedly claim to love?” I spit the blood filling my mouth on her robe. “How delusional do you need to be to think that what you did was right?”

  “Silence! You know nothing, you naïve harlot. I do love him!” she bellowed at me “More so than you could ever have, you filthy little pest. You know nothing about sacrifice. You would never do anything like this for Victor. You don’t deserve him. And now…” Nadia turned her back to me. Slip
ping her robe off she revealed her scared body. “…you get to lose him to me all over again.”

  Doing my best to keep my body up off the floor I watch Nadia as she lays herself down on the altar, the dark mist swirling around her. Sitting up she summons Victor over to her as she spreads her legs out to accept him. Taking off his shirt, Victor begins moving forward, being pulled into her dark web by a spell she had cast over him. I lost, I have no strength left to fight, surrendering to the pain I drop into the puddle of blood and close my eyes. It seems I am doomed to repeat that horrible night all over again, I’m losing Victor for the second time, and with him goes all my desire to live.

  “I was pushed back and about to fall,” a comforting voice whispered in my ear, “but the Lord helped me.”

  “Papa…” I mumbled too weak to open my eyes “…I…I can’t.”

  “The Lord is my strength and my defense,” papa’s voice continues as the cross around my neck gets warmer, filling me with light, “he has become my salvation.”

  My crucifix gets hot, scolding my skin and sending an electric pulse rushing through my body. Forcing my eyes back open, I cough to empty my lungs from the blood that has been pushed up with the pulse. A wide array of emotions surged through my aching heart; this is not how my story is going to end. Digging my nail into the floor, scratching the wood as my fingers moved closer to my palms, I push myself up to my knees. I feel the embers of the fire reignite inside my heart, burning hotter than they have before.

  I’m beyond angry now, not just at Nadia for what she did to us, but I was angry at her words. How dare she claim that I could not have loved Victor as much as she did? What did she know? Sure, I was never obsessed with Victor, and not once have I ever wished to make him mine, but that’s exactly how I loved him. I loved him since the first day we met at church, and I never stopped loving him, our love just grew deeper and stronger over time.

  Now that I think of it, what we had was the best thing of all; a pure, genuine love, and not some sick lustful fixation. The whole idea that she would try to take him away from me based on the assumption that I did not love him as much as she made my blood boil. Except, in my current state of being, my blood was literally boiling. I can feel it burning the palms of my hand, and I can see steam rising from the ground as it splashes into the scarlet pool beneath. I no longer fight the flames swelling inside me, this time I embrace them.

  I look over at Victor still moving mindlessly towards Nadia as she is preparing to sacrifice them both, turning him into an empty vessel for the beast to inhabit. The feeling of loss and powerlessness which I have grown so fond of begins to abandon me, retreating into the shadows of my broken soul. Last time, there was nothing I could do to save Victor, I was too weak, but not this time. I returned to this mortal plane with powers, and I am not about to let history repeat itself.

  I shut my eyes tight, digging my nails deep into my palm causing them to bleed, allowing the pain to empower me. The warm flames pulse throughout my body with every labored beat of my heart. Something dark and unfamiliar is stirring inside me, and it is growing stronger with every pulse.

  My eyes flash open, and for the first time, I notice my reflection in the red puddle. It is darker, frightening even; blue flames are burning in my eyes. An invisible breeze flows past me, pushing my loose raven hair behind me. I am not the same weak, little girl who could not save Victor last time; I’m not losing him again, not this time. With the new-found bit of strength, I force myself up past the pain and anchor my feet to the floor.

  “Victor…” I scream as loud as I can, my voice echoes throughout the brick chamber “…stop!”

  The echo begging to fade away and my heart contracts inside my chest, with it, time seems to come to a complete stop. Looking around, I see droplets of blood and specks of gold which made up my cage suspended in the air above my chest. My feet are able to move again, the spell of the circle has been broken. The air is still around me, all I can hear is the sound of my own breathing.

  Across the room Nadia and Victor are both looking at me with frozen expressions on their face, they too seem to be suspended in time. Nudging forward I reach out a finger to touch the crimson bubble that has levitated from where it lay. The droplet doesn’t move, it feels solid under my finger, like a tiny red marble suspended in mid-air. The hole in my chest has healed up; I can feel I am no longer bleeding. The burning pain has also left me, making me feel whole again. My heart expands with a thunderous beat; I can hear it reverberate throughout the room, almost like someone has hit a bass drum in a tunnel.

  A deep, low pulse ripples in the air, an invisible switch has been flicked and time speeds back up in front of my eyes. It starts slowly at first, crawling along, gradually getting faster with each passing millisecond until I am standing in real time again. The blood and gold encircling me, shoots out violently in all directions, as a shockwave disperses within the confines of the room. All the candles get snuffed out, and the windows blow out into the streets, the ceiling cracks sending bricks crashing to the floor below. Nadia’s alter shatters, sending her tumbling to the floor, and poor Victor gets blown into a wall across from me, the flicker of life briefly returning to his eyes.

  My head feels like I spent an hour on a merry-go-round, my stomach is queasy, despite being empty. I am having a hard time keeping my own weight up; the room is spinning around me, darkness flashes in the back of my eyes. I compel my body to stay up, allowing my vision to readjust and the swimming sensation becomes less noticeable. As the dust begins to settle, I can see Nadia shifting on the floor, pulling herself up by what is left of her alter.

  “What was that mouse?” she demands angrily. “How did you pull this off?”

  “I won’t let you do this again Nadia,” I say weakly, concealing the fact that I can barely keep myself up. “I won’t let you take Victor away from me again.”

  “Fool. Do you really think you can stop me?” Nadia forces herself to stand up and snickers at me. “I don’t think you fully understand the gravity of the situation here dearie; Victor is under my control, he’ll do whatever I tell him to.” She turns her head to Victor and points her long finger at me. “Kill her lover, kill her and we can be together forever.”

  Victor rises to his feet from the wall he was propped against and starts coming closer to me. The light is gone from his eyes once again; he is still under her spell, all that power was not enough to snap him out of it. No longer having the strength they need; my knees give out from under me, and I collapse, crashing onto the cold wood floor.

  I use the last few ounces of strength I have left to push myself up and looked back up at Victor. The black mist lingers behind him; it’s blue eyes sparkle with delight. How poetic is it that I am going to die at the hands of the man I love, those damned villagers are finally going to be validated in their accusations of Victor.

  The darkness overtakes me again, but it’s not the same as before. This one is heavier, sadder; it chokes my heart in a tight grip. Solemnly I shake my head, not willing to accept what is about to transpire. Victor and I, we have overcome so many odds together, it can’t end now, not like this. Bowing my head, I push the darkness aside, I can’t give up on him, not now, not ever.

  “Victor, please…” I whisper. Closing my eyes, a single hot tear rolls down my cheek. “…I love you.”

  My eyes flutter open in time to see the amber tear hit the floor with a dull plop that can be heard throughout the room. I can clearly see the spot where it hit as the frost around it begins to melt, spreading in a full circle. The wrinkle created by my tear expands over the chamber, thawing the ice as it moves. In mere moments, the room is no longer frozen over, and Victor is rushing to my side, scooping me up in his arms again.

  “Kotek.” Victor holds me tight against his chest, my head supported by his large hand. “What in God’s name are you doing here? What am I doing here?” He pulls away and looks at me with regret and confusion in his eyes.

  I pull him closer and
embrace him back, stroking his hair. “It’s a long story. The important thing now is that you’re safe.”

  We hold on tight to one another, safe in this warm embrace until Victor drops to the floor with an agonizing scream. His face is contorted in pain; his back is arched as his body twists on the floor from some unseen ailment. The mark on his chest is glowing a dark red, burning a hole in his chest; I can smell his flesh roasting. It’s no longer a tattoo imprinted in his flesh; it has a physical manifestation. The briar digs itself into his flesh as the serpents bury their fangs in him; poor Victor screams in pain as his blood stains the floor. I jump up to my feet only to see Nadia approaching, her hand in the shape of a claw as if it was holding on to something, her fingers grasping around an invisible object.

  “Didn’t I tell you mouse…” she twisted her wrist causing Victor to groan as his body contorted to the side. “…you cannot stop me. But if you want to see Victor suffer so badly, I guess I have no choice,” with another twist of her wrists Victor moans on the floor, “but to torture him into submission.”

  “Stop this Nadia. Stop this now.”

  “No, not until you acknowledge that he is mine now.”

  Nadia twists her wrist again, making Victor squirm on the floor in agony, crying out for help. The thorns of the vine continue to dig deeper into his chest, and the serpents proceed to inject their poison into him. The unholy symbol is on fire now, and the flames are starting to take over Victor’s body as he twists on the floor to try and get away from them. His cries of pain and pleas for mercy are like nails on a chalkboard for me, I can no longer stand to listen to them, but I refuse to cover my ears.

  As Nadia approaches closer, I back up, only to feel something sharp poke me in the back. I have completely forgotten the stake Father McAllister had given me, I held the power to defeat her all along. Lowering my gaze, I reach my hands behind my back. Grasping my fingers tightly on the rough wood surface of my only weapon. I hold on tight to the shaft, doing my best not to let her see that I have an advantage over her. Pulling the stake out from behind my sash, I clutch on to it, waiting for Nadia to get closer.