by Ines Saint
“Long story, you’ll have to ask Holly.”
“Yeah . . . I forgot to ask her about it.” He frowned and they were both quiet. Ben studied the house. Dan studied a stump. “So, you’re her ‘temporary neighbor’,” Ben said, a question in his voice.
“It’s a flip.”
“Huh. Maybe it’ll be hers after all.”
Dan wasn’t sure what Ben was getting at. “Don’t know—Holly said something about possibly moving last time I ran into her.” He lifted a shoulder, as if it didn’t matter to him one way or the other.
Ben took a sip of coffee. “Yeah, well, Ella doesn’t want to leave. She loves it here. I’m thinking maybe you, Holly, and I can work something out,” he said, reaching into his back pocket. He dug his wallet out, opened it, and handed Dan a card. “Call me when you decide to sell. Ella had her heart set on it.”
He hesitated before taking the card, knowing Holly didn’t want help, but respecting Ben’s right to put a roof over his daughter’s head. Ben left and Dan stared at the card. Holly’s ex seemed like an okay guy and a good dad.
Why, then, did he have an overwhelming urge to tear the card in pieces and toss it to the wind?
If Holly didn’t move and Ben helped her buy the house, everyone involved would get what they wanted. The sale would leave everything nice and tidy for Dan, the way he liked it. His brothers and half the town would be happy Holly and Ella got their house.
Ben could play the hero and give them the house with a friggin’ bow on top of it if he wanted. Holly would walk in and see the house was everything she’d dreamed it would be.
He lifted the shovel and staked into the ground with a loud thud before ramming his heel onto the blade, driving it in as deep as it could go.
CHAPTER 15
A knock on Holly’s door revealed Sam and Johnny. Her lips curved into a real and much needed smile, and she let them in.
Ben, Sam, and Johnny pumped hands and started getting all caught up when Holly interrupted them. “Dad,” she called to her father, who sat on the sofa. “These are two of my closest friends, Sam and Johnny. Johnny, Sam, this is my dad, Doug.”
“It’s great to meet you, Mr. Bell, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Johnny said, shaking the older man’s hand.
“All good, I hope.”
“Of course.” Sam grinned and shook his hand, too.
“Are you guys staying for dinner?” Ben asked.
“Sure, if we’re not giving Holly any extra trouble,” Johnny replied.
“When has that ever stopped you from mooching?” Holly took some ground beef out of the fridge. “We’re having tacos.”
Ben grabbed a few beers, and Johnny turned one of her kitchen chairs around, straddled it, and began asking Ben all about his time in Bosnia and Tokyo. Sam mostly listened, and Doug peppered the conversation with funny stories from his time abroad, too.
The four men continued to talk after dinner, but Johnny got them to help with the cleanup. Seeing her father load a dishwasher was a new and welcome sight. Holly could tell her dad had taken to both Sam and Johnny, and out of nowhere, she wondered if he’d take to Dan, too.
Holly looked at the floor. Her breathing had slowed, but her heart had begun to beat faster at the idea of Ben, her dad, and Dan, all sitting and laughing around a kitchen table. It was a crazy idea.
Johnny’s brown boots bumped her shoes, and she looked up at him. “Hey, what’s wrong? You’re not looking too jolly, Holly.”
That made her smile and he led her into the hallway.
“That’s better. Is everything all right?”
She nodded.
“I know what would cheer her up for good.” Sam appeared by her side.
“What are you two up to?” she asked, looking from one to the other.
“Nothing. I don’t know what Sam is talking about.” Johnny shrugged.
“To break into the Craftsman again tonight, for old time’s sake.” Sam leaned against the wall.
Johnny looked over at his brother, eyebrows raised, before agreeing with a slow nod.
“No way,” Holly declined. “Things have changed. Did you forget the owner of the house practically lives there? Even Johnny thinks it’s crazy.”
“Uh, no. I don’t think it’s crazy. I just can’t believe Sam, of all people, had such a great idea. You should go. I’ll even give you the key. Dan will be rehearsing with us tonight, so he won’t be home till about ten. I think seeing the house will lift your mood.”
“I think so, too.” Sam grinned. Sam wasn’t much of a grinner. It sealed the deal for her.
“Guys? I have a suggestion for you, too,” she began. They looked at her expectantly. “I, uh, I think you should let Dan know you don’t need him to protect you two.”
Sam looked at her as if she were speaking a foreign language. “Protect us from what?”
“Did Dan say something?” Johnny eyes bugged out.
“No, he didn’t. He wouldn’t. Forget it.” Her hand fluttered up to play with her necklace.
Johnny crossed his arms. “Out with it, Holly. We’re grown men, even if we don’t always act like it. We can take it.”
Sam fixed her with a steady gaze.
She cleared her throat. “Why do you guys think Dan really stays away?”
Johnny uncrossed his arms and scraped a hand through his hair. “He got tired of the drama.”
“Right. I mean, even I know how much he hates drama.” She rolled her eyes for effect, but her effort to lighten the mood was met with thoughtful nods. At least they were taking her seriously. She drew in a breath. “I guess I’m just wondering if he thinks you guys hate the drama as much as he does.”
“And . . . you think he thinks he needs to protect us from it?” Sam asked in a dubious tone.
“By staying away.” Johnny narrowed his eyes.
The two brothers then exchanged a look. Holly didn’t know what they were thinking, but they’d obviously communicated their thoughts to each other. She’d done everything she could. The rest would be up to the Amador brothers.
They went through their set twice without a hitch and a celebration jam followed.
Dan and Sam stored their instruments and followed Johnny upstairs, ribbing their younger brother over his sappy song choices.
The door jingled and Marianne walked in. She acknowledged Dan with a nod and greeted Sam and Johnny with a kiss on the cheek.
Dan responded with a friendly hello and made his way over to the coatrack by the door. “I’ve got some legal work to catch up on. I’ll stay at the Craftsman tonight,” he said to Johnny, so he’d know he wouldn’t be back.
“You don’t have to go on my account.” Marianne frowned. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I’m just not used to calling before dropping by. I’ll leave.”
Dan reached for his coat and stifled a sigh. She couldn’t just let him go, she had to play hero and victim yet again.
Leaving town when he was eighteen hadn’t put a stop to it. Neither had staying away for good after his father’s funeral, when they’d all learned Jacob had made Dan the only executor of his will. That had been the last straw between him and his stepmother. He’d been sick with grief and hadn’t taken any of her victim crap for the first time, even though his brothers and a few townspeople had been present. He’d told her exactly why his father had named him instead of her. He knew I’d be fair. And he knew you wouldn’t.
His brothers exchanged a look. Sam cleared his throat. “Yeah, you don’t have to go on her account, Dan.”
“I’m not.” Dan cut him a look. “I’m behind on work, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?” Marianne asked. “You seemed upset with me the other night, when we were decorating for the festival.”
“I wasn’t. We’re good, Marianne.” Dan pushed his hands into his coat sleeves and checked for his wallet.
“Yeah. His world doesn’t revolve around you, Mom,” Johnny joked, but there was an edge to his voice. “Right, Dan?”
“I’m making sure he and I are really okay. How does that imply that I think his world revolves around me?” Marianne demanded.
“It doesn’t. Johnny’s kidding. I’ll catch you all later, all right?” Dan closed the door behind him with a soft click, as if the way he shut the door would somehow diffuse whatever was about to happen behind it.
After Ella was in bed and her father, Stanley, and Ben were engrossed in a football game, Holly told them she’d be going out for a while.
“It’s ten,” her father said.
“And I’m not sixteen anymore. I’m just going next door for a little while.” Her father looked back at her, with the same expression he’d always used when he didn’t know what to do with her.
When she tried to close the front door behind her, she met resistance. Her father came out and shut the door behind him. “Ben says that Amy wants to meet you, Holly. She wants you to feel Ella will be safe with her. Is there anyone Ben should be getting to know, for Ella’s sake? Is there anyone I should be getting to know, for yours?”
This new version of her father stumped her. “I wish I knew the answer to that, Dad, but I don’t.”
He studied her a moment. “Does Ella ever ask why you and Ben are not together?”
“Of course she asks.”
“And what do you tell her?”
“That some people stay in love forever and some people grow apart. That the important thing is that children feel loved and happy. Ella knows Ben loves her. And she loves him back.”
“You’re still my child, you know. And I, uh, I want you to feel happy, too.”
Holly blinked. Had this change in her dad been her stepmother’s doing? Her mother and father had loved each other and they’d made each other happy, but maybe they’d been too alike in their thinking to challenge each other to grow. “Thanks, Dad.” She got up on her tippy toes, kissed his cheek, and left.
She was next door in a heartbeat. This time, there was no need to break in. She turned the key, opened the door, and flipped the light switch. Her hands went to her mouth at the extraordinary transformation. The plastic covering the gleaming hardwood floors had been removed, the walls had been painted, and the refinished trim was all up. Both the living room and home office were a mossy green, complementing the wood tones in the room perfectly. Sam and Johnny were right, her mood lifted considerably. The house was a vision.
She walked to the kitchen as if in a trance, flipped another light switch on, and sucked in a breath.
Ivory cabinets, a light mahogany island, and the blue, gray, and gold granite she’d suggested tying everything in the room together. The ceramic tile floors had been replaced with hardwood.
Holly ran her hands over the cold stone. Up close, the blue-gray tones matched Dan’s eyes and the frozen Great Miami River, but it had depth and movement.
This was her house . . . or rather, the house of her dreams. Down to the last detail, it was her dream. Feeling silly, Holly squeezed her eyes shut and tried to shake off the conflicting feelings of hope and loss. Why would she feel hope now? Dan had taken her advice, that was all. Her feelings were tied to everything that had happened since the last time she’d visited the house uninvited.
She imagined Miranda McDowell roaming the house while Owen watched her, knowing she’d never be his. The thought was depressing, so she envisioned an elderly lady there, taking care of Dan as a baby, but unable to afford her home’s upkeep. She pictured Jacob visiting his son, grateful for their time together, wishing he could do more for his son and his caretaker. She sighed. Had a happy family ever lived here?
She hoped one would be living there soon. A mom and dad cooking in the kitchen, while two kids fought over a remote control in the family room.
She climbed the stairs, smoothing her hand over the polished banister. An older child, a teenager perhaps, would be upstairs, with their door shut while they listened to music and thought about the girl or boy they were crushing on. She turned into the first room on the right, turned the light on, and froze.
Pink and white stripes on the far wall. Sleeping Beauty and Belle on the side walls. Only the shelves were missing . . .
Footsteps caught her attention and she turned to the door, just as Dan appeared in the doorway. She watched his throat work. Neither said a word. They stared at each other for a long time.
Holly turned away. “Why?”
“The house is yours.”
“You know I can’t buy it.”
Dan moved to stand in front of her and put his finger under her chin to lift her face. “We’ll figure it out, we’ll work it all out, and we’ll find a way to make it yours. Ben wants to help, and I don’t care about turning a big profit over a little bit of elbow grease. The vision was yours, anyway.”
“Ben? You talked to Ben?”
“No—he talked to me.”
“I don’t want his help. I don’t want yours.” Holly stared at his chest, her vision blurred, her voice barely audible.
Dan touched his forehead to hers. “You deserve this house, Holly. No one’s giving it to you. Ben is Ella’s father and she’ll be living here. And you and I were partners in this from the beginning.”
She placed an open palm on Dan’s chest, needing space, but instead it brought her closer to his heart, its steady rhythm beating into her hand. Their eyes locked for one emotionally charged moment. “Part of me wishes I could share it with you,” he said in a quiet voice.
“Part of you?” A sharp, painful sensation raced through her. “We’re back to this, then. You don’t know.”
“I know I care for you. I know I can’t stop thinking about you and wondering how it could be. I know I enjoy being with you and Ella as much as I enjoy being with my brothers.”
Holly closed her eyes and gave her head a little shake. It wasn’t enough. “You know a child isn’t always fun and games, right? There are endless questions, and whining, constant negotiations, and trust me, the princess obsession gets old . . .”
“I’ve had Johnny in my life since I was two, I’m used to all sorts of bad behavior.” Dan sent her a lighthearted smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Besides, you’re the best mom I know. You’ll teach me. I think we’re worth a try.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and she buried her head in his chest, breathing him in. His scent was as comforting and familiar as it was sensual and appealing. He kissed her head and held her to him. The tender act took her breath away. The whole moment felt unreal. The man holding her had made her storybook home a reality. He said he cared and she believed him. It was in every detail of the house. It was in Ella’s room. It was in his protective embrace.
But a try wasn’t good enough. She was no princess, but she deserved love. The unconditional kind. The kind Dan might never be able to offer her.
She pushed his hands down and took a step back. “You once said I made bad decisions and that I didn’t put my child’s needs first.”
He hung his head. “Don’t remind me. I was an ass. I judged you when I had no—”
“No, you didn’t know me, and no, you had no right. But, even so, maybe you weren’t so wrong.”
“Because of what’s happening between us?” he asked, perplexed.
“No, because of what happened between me and Ben.”
Light from an outside lamppost beamed in through the window, bathing Dan in shadow and light. He studied her a long moment before asking, “What happened?”
Holly sat on the window seat and looked outside, unseeing, not knowing where or how to start. The beginning seemed too long ago to matter. She’d always hated moving around and starting over. Uncertainty wasn’t for her. All she wanted was to be so anchored to a place she loved that nothing could pull her up and away. Ben had said he wanted the same things. He talked about moving to a small town in Vermont where his family went skiing and snowboarding every year. Talked about how they’d have it
all. Winter sports and water sports. Mountains and beaches.
Holly blew out a breath. “A few months into our marriage, Ben joined the military without discussing it with me.” She closed her eyes, still feeling it as if it had been yesterday. “I felt blindsided and sucker punched. He knew how I felt about it, and we’d made other plans, but he’d been growing increasingly restless. I didn’t know what to do. I had six years invested in him and it seemed like a lifetime. Our families were so entwined . . . his sisters were my best friends. My dad adored Ben and was thrilled he wanted to follow in his footsteps. Divorce seemed crazy.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling the pressure of those days all over again.
Dan sat next to her and squeezed her thigh. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. What Ben did was crummy. He put you in a tough position.”
“But people only treat you the way you allow them to treat you, and I basically let everyone tell me I didn’t matter. Everyone acted as if I’d been the one holding Ben back all along. The truth was, Ben joining the military fit. And I became this joke for wanting anything different. Ben wanted to protect our country and make the world a better place while I wanted to perfume it and make it smell better. I allowed them to make me feel like a vain and shallow stick in the mud.”
Holly shook her head and was quiet a moment, remembering. “We were eventually assigned to Germany, and everyone was so excited for us. I put up my best front and tried to get into it the way the other military wives were into it. They were all so nice to me. So supportive. And the first six months were good because there was a lot to discover, but I couldn’t find a job and I was also alone a lot . . .
“I tried really hard for a year and a half to be happy. I made perfumes and scented candles for other women and they loved it, but it only fueled my desire to start a business. But Ben was in his element and he was oblivious to anything else. Then he told me he was being deployed to Bosnia for two years. He’d volunteered. It was supposed to be this strategic move that would be huge for his career. He’d gone behind my back and done what he wanted again.
