by Tracey Smith
I spun around to face him hoping my face wasn’t betraying my nerves.
“Oh yeah I was just going to take a shower.” I replied quickly turning toward the hall bathroom and hoping it looked like I was just leaving my room and not just returning to it.
“Alright, see you downstairs.” He said easily and left me standing in the hall.
I decided a shower sounded good, retrieved some fresh clothes from my room and headed for the bathroom.
When I came downstairs I found Destiny in the kitchen with her parents. Destiny was helping her mom dice up veggies for omelets. Mike was sitting at the bar drinking coffee and reading the paper.
“Morning Ty, did you sleep well?” Katherine asked me as I entered the kitchen.
“Best night of my life.” I replied instantly.
Destiny dropped the knife she was using to chop peppers and it clanged loudly against the cutting board. We all looked toward her at the sound and she glanced up meeting my eyes quickly and smiling before looking back down at her work.
I thought I saw Mike and Katherine exchange a weird look but didn’t have time to consider it because Chance came bounding into the kitchen. I spent the rest of the morning answering Chance’s endless questions about the Marines and listening to his stories about his three favorite things; baseball, girls and school, in that order.
After breakfast Chance and I cleared the table and washed dishes just like we used to. Destiny left with her dad to go see his gallery and Katherine went into town to do some shopping.
After we’d cleaned the kitchen Chance and I spent a few hours in the batting cages, finally breaking for lunch. Destiny and Mike were back by then and we had another family meal together in the kitchen.
While I had longed for family time and had come home just for this sort of thing I found myself wishing I could be alone with Destiny. It was hard to keep my distance. I wanted to put my arm around her, to kiss her, to claim her as mine, but wasn’t sure how she would feel about that in front of her family and decided I needed to wait until we had a chance to talk about it and see how she felt.
Finally as the day drew to a close I found a moment alone with her while her parents prepared dinner in the kitchen and Chance left my side for the first time that day to take a phone call.
We had settled in the living room to watch TV, Chance sitting between Destiny and I on the couch. I could have kissed Katherine when she came to the door to tell Chance he had a call. He jumped up from the couch and raced to the other room to take the call and Katherine headed back for the kitchen, leaving Destiny and I alone for the first time that day.
I scooted closer to her on the couch suddenly unsure, but she alleviated my anxiety immediately by wrapping her arms around me and kissing me passionately the moment her family had left the room.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all day!” she exclaimed when we broke our kiss.
“You have no idea” I responded breathlessly and dragged her against me again for another kiss, not sure how long we’d have.
It wasn’t long enough, Chance was back in no time announcing that dinner was ready. Luckily his footsteps had been loud enough in the foyer that we’d been able to pull apart before being caught. I decided we definitely needed to talk about telling her family what was going on between us. Then I realized first we needed to talk about what exactly it was that was going on.
I anxiously poured over my fears all through dinner, wondering how she felt about what was happening between us. I knew she had one last semester of school and would be going back to New York after the holidays, and I was about to be deployed for who knew how long. Would she wait for me? I still had to tell her that I was leaving. But first I had to know how she felt. Was this just a holiday fling for her?
Surely not, she’d said she loved me. She knew I loved her. She must know that this was more than just a passing way to spend this short time together. She wanted more too, didn’t she? As nervous as I was to ask the questions, I knew I needed the answers. “Is it alright if Tyler and I go out for a while?” Destiny asked as we cleared the table and I could have jumped for joy at the prospect.
“Of course.” Katherine said, “You go on ahead Chance can help me clean this up.”
Chance looked disappointed to be left behind but I couldn’t find it in me to feel sorry for him. I needed this time with Destiny.
“I thought we could go for a walk on the beach.” Destiny told me as we walked into the foyer together. “It’ll probably be cold, but…”
“Sounds perfect.” I assured her, “I’ll just run up and grab us a couple jackets.”
She was waiting for me downstairs by the door and I raced down the steps two at a time eager to finally have her to myself again.
“I grabbed a blanket too.” I told her as I helped her into her coat.
“Good idea. Let’s go!” she said taking my hand and pulling me toward the door.
It was a short walk to the beach. Her parent’s house was ocean front property and there were several paths leading down the cliffs to the shore below. We held hands as we climbed down to the beach in silence and then walked a little ways until the house was no longer in view.
After a few minutes we reached a stretch of quiet beach where all we could see were the cliffs behind us and the ocean in front. Destiny spread the blanket on the sand and then turned toward me wrapping her arms around my neck.
“I finally have you all to myself.” She laughed as she leaned up to kiss me.
“We wouldn’t have to hide like this if your parents knew about us.” I said reluctantly.
Part of me wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and kiss her senseless, but I knew there were things we needed to talk about. She let her arms drop to her sides and looked away from me. My heart sank.
“I love you Destiny.” I whispered
“I love you too.” My hopes lifted but she was still looking away.
“I know you have to go back to school soon, but it’s only one semester and then…”
“And then?” she asked finally meeting my eyes again.
“I don’t know, I mean, aren’t you coming back to California after you graduate?”
“I don’t know, maybe, I haven’t figured all that out yet.” She said
“But now, after everything that’s happened…” I trailed off, afraid to learn that last night had not meant to her what it had meant to me.
“After everything that’s happened… I have a lot to think about. This is all happening so fast Tyler. I hadn’t expected you to be here, I hadn’t expected any of this.”
“Destiny, I love you. I have loved you my whole life. Maybe this is happening fast for you, but I’ve been waiting for this moment for years.”
“I love you too Tyler. I do. And I want…”
“What? What do you want?” I asked grabbing her arms and pulling her up against me.
“You” she sighed and for the moment it was enough.
I crushed my mouth down to hers ready to feel the passion we’d ignited between us again. Ready to feel her in my arms and to remind her of what we had, what we could have.
I lowered her down to the blanket on the sand and came down on top of her supporting most of my weight on my arms braced on each side of her. I kissed her mouth, nibbling and sucking on her bottom lip. She ran her hands along my back pulling me against her as she spread her legs to cradle me between them.
“I want you Destiny.” I whispered against her neck
“Then take me.” She moaned arching up to rub against me.
I sat back to pull off my jacket and shirt, she sat up too reaching for the button on my jeans. The cold ocean breeze was shocking against my naked skin but wasn’t enough to quench the passion building between us. I stood to remove my jeans and she immediately shed her clothes as well. She shivered once before I came back down over her our heated flesh pressing together.
I brought my mouth to her hard nipples and she shivered again, this time f
rom pleasure. I kissed my way back up along her neck until I found her mouth warm and waiting for me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and arched up even as she pulled me down toward her.
I entered her slowly as she sucked on my tongue. I forgot all about the cold as my body overheated with desire. I moved against her slowly and she matched my rhythm our bodies completely in synch. We rocked against each other in time to the sounds of the ocean waves rolling behind us. No words could express what our bodies were saying. We loved each other, and it was enough. Somehow it had to be enough.
We reached the peak together, both of us changing pace simultaneously as we moved harder faster deeper until we both screamed out in unison and then collapsed against each other.
We didn’t stay there long. The cold ocean air against our sweaty bodies cooled us both to the point of shivering within minutes and we silently searched for our clothes and redressed.
“Guess it’s time to go back.” Destiny said and she sounded reluctant.
I put my arm around her as we walked back up the beach.
“Look we don’t have to say anything to your parents about us, I mean there’s no rush.” I said breaking the silence as the house came into view.
“Thank you.” She whispered and I felt her shoulders relax.
It bothered me that she wanted to keep what was going on between us a secret, but if she needed time I would give it to her. We held hands as we climbed the path along the cliff and she didn’t pull away when we reached the house. I took that as a good sign. Maybe we wouldn’t have a big announcement with her family but instead a gradual shift. I would let her take the lead about what she was comfortable with in front of her family.
We walked through the foyer together still hand in hand as we entered the living room. Everyone turned to look at us immediately and the first thing I noticed was the look of concern on Katherine’s face.
“Steven?” Destiny’s startled voice beside me drew my attention and then I followed her gaze to the guy seated on the couch.
He stood and walked toward us as she pulled her hand from mine.
“I thought I’d surprise you.” He said smiling, completely oblivious to the tension everyone else in the room seemed to be feeling.
“Who is this?” I asked Destiny and she simply looked back at me with the fear of a deer caught in headlights.
“Steven Creighton,” the guy said extending his hand to me “Destiny’s boyfriend.”
Chapter 23: Broken Hearts
Everything happened so quickly. My first reaction to Tyler was pure physical need, an attraction that had started years ago culminating in an overwhelming desire that couldn’t be ignored. But nothing prepared me for the emotions that would come with fulfilling that desire.
When he came to me that first night he not only brought me new levels of pleasure that I’d never imagined possible but also a new depth of feeling I had not ever experienced before. I was overwhelmed with emotion as we’d made love, an emotion so intense it was terrifying. It wasn’t until I spoke the words that I recognized the truth to them. I loved him. I was in love with Tyler.
The next morning we made love again but this time he abruptly pulled away just before his climax explaining his concern over not having protection. I tried to reassure him by letting him know that I was using birth control, but saw the questions that brought to his eyes. I had not told him about Steven. I actually hadn’t even thought about Steven until that moment. In my mind and in my heart that relationship was already over.
Tyler didn’t have the chance to ask the questions that I was sure were now burning in his mind because we heard the sounds of my family stirring and it was time for him to slip back to his room.
We didn’t have a moment alone all day, which gave me plenty of time to think, and plenty of time to worry.
I had already decided to end my relationship with Steven, it was just a matter of getting it done. But I did have one semester left of school and I still lived with Steven. I wondered how difficult it would be to find my own place, and knew that it would be nearly impossible to find an apartment near the school on such short notice. And what about a lease? How much longer would I be staying in New York?
Should I wait until graduation to end things with Steven? That seemed wrong, but also the easiest route. I wouldn’t sleep with him. It would be like we were just roommates. Then after graduation I could come back home. There were several symphony orchestras in Southern California that I would love to be on. Then Tyler… would still be in the Marines.
Tyler had two more years in the Marines, but maybe that was best. That gave me time to settle my life. To finish school, to break up with Steven, to start my career. There really was no rush. No need to worry over all these questions. It would all work out in time. I had plenty of time.
I decided just to enjoy my time with Tyler while I could, soon enough he would be going back to base and I would be going back to school. No need to spend that time worrying over the future.
We finally broke away from the family after dinner and went for a walk on the beach. I was so eager to be alone with him again. To stop the incessant questions that had been running through my head all day and just enjoy the moment with him. But apparently he had some questions of his own. Questions I didn’t yet have answers to.
I couldn’t make any promises to Tyler while I still had the Steven situation to figure out. I was relieved when he let the questions drop and made love to me again.
With each time it seemed we reached new levels of intimacy, sharing not only our bodies but our hearts and souls. I loved Tyler, if nothing else I was sure of that. Somehow everything else would work out.
When we walked into the living room hand in hand and saw Steven waiting for us I think I actually felt my heart crack the pain was so sharp. Then I looked into Tyler’s eyes and saw the betrayal burning there and knew my heart had broken.
I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think. I reached for Tyler as he backed away from me. I had never seen such anger in his eyes. He jerked away from my touch as if it burned him and I let my hand drop, still at a loss for words.
He spun away from me rushing back into the foyer grabbing his keys off the table and fleeing the house without a word.
I stood watching his exodus, feeling completely numb. I don’t know how long I stood there staring at the vacant room. I finally felt my mother’s hand on my shoulder and turned to face her. There was wisdom in her eyes and I realized she knew. I looked toward my father and saw sympathy there, and to my little brother who stood with his hands in his pockets head bowed looking like he’d just lost his best friend. Finally my eyes moved to Steven standing awkwardly a few feet away, his face a mask of confusion. It was too much. I couldn’t deal with it. I turned without a word and ran from the room. I ran to my bedroom slamming the door and collapsing on the bed. Crying so violently I shook the bed. Screaming into pillows when sobs were not enough. In the last two days I had experienced more joy and pleasure than in my entire life, and now I was experiencing more pain than I ever knew possible.
I cried until my tears ran dry and my voice was hoarse. When I’d finally shed my last tear I was left feeling hollow and empty. I had no emotions left. I heard a soft knock at my door and stiffened. I wasn’t ready to face Steven.
“Destiny?” I relaxed at the sound of my mother’s voice
“Come in.” I croaked with what was left of my voice
Mom opened the door slowly and crossed the room carrying two cups.
“I brought you some tea.” She told me setting the cups on the nightstand.
“Thank you” I whispered reaching for the cup knowing the hot liquid would soothe my raw throat.
Mom sat on the edge of the bed taking her own cup and we both sat in silence for several minutes sipping our tea.
“Do you love him?” Mom asked breaking the silence.
I wasn’t sure how to respond, I wasn’t sure who she meant.
“St
even and I…” I started to explain but Mom shook her head
“I meant Tyler.” Mom explained.
“Oh.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes”
“He loves you too”
“I know”
“Then don’t let this stand in your way.”
“But I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting Tyler to be here, I wasn’t expecting to feel what I feel. But I do. And now Steven is here and I don’t know what to do about that. And everything is ruined.” I started sobbing again curling up on the bed and Mom reached over to pull my head onto her lap as she soothingly rubbed her hand over my hair.
“You do have quite a mess here with Steven. I put him in a guest bedroom by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“You’ll have to handle that situation in the morning.”
“I wish I knew how.”
“Do you have feelings for him also?”
“No. I haven’t for a long time now I guess.”
“Then that decision should be easy.”
“But I live with him, and I still have a semester left of school.” Saying it out loud it sounded so petty.
“Destiny, your father and I can help you find your own place while you finish school. If you no longer have feelings for Steven there’s no reason to continue your relationship with him.” Her voice was stern and her words were true.
“I know, you’re right.”
“So first things first, tonight get some sleep. Tomorrow talk with Steven. And then we’ll figure out what to do about Tyler.” Her words were reassuring.
“Destiny if there is one thing I know about love it’s that Fate will work things out when the time is right. And I’ve been watching you and Tyler for years. You know your father and I think of Tyler as a son, but that doesn’t make him your brother. The two of you have known each other your whole lives, but I’ve seen the changes between you over the last few years. I’ve seen the way you look at each other, the way you move around each other. I know you love him, I know he loves you, and I know it will work out… when the time is right.”
