RunningWildAmazon
Page 20
“Can’t say much about it. I—” For the first time since Mellie, Aidan found himself wanting to tell his dad about a woman. He wanted to tell him about how sweet, sassy, and funny Anna was. About how courageous she’d been and how she made him laugh.
“Son, you there?”
Though he trusted his dad implicitly, he had an ironclad rule about sharing anything related to LCR. Also, no one, not even his parents, could know about his feelings for Anna. The only way to keep her safe was to never talk about her. Ever. “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, but no. Can’t really talk about it.”
“I understand.”
“How’re Mom, Jenn, Brent, and the kids doing?”
“Everyone’s doing great.” His father launched into several minutes of talking about how amazing his grandchildren were. It was expected. One of the many reasons his dad was such a great pediatrician was his deep love and affinity for children. He had the kind of personality that put children at ease.
“I hear your mother headed this way, so I’d better get off here. If I don’t, she’ll take the phone and insist on knowing what’s going on. You’ll tell us when you can, son. Right?”
“Yeah. I promise. Love you both. And thanks for the call.”
“Love you, too, son.”
Aidan slid the phone back into his pocket and continued to stare at the ocean as if there were answers out there. Problem was, he knew what the answers were, he just didn’t like them. Not one damn bit.
Anna sat on the porch steps and waited until well after dark for Aidan to return to the house. She had stuck her foot in it and now couldn’t figure out a way to make things right. He hadn’t been ready to hear what she’d told him. Admittedly she sometimes opened her mouth without thinking, but she was usually very careful when it came to offering commentary or opinions unless she was invited to do so. And even then, she treaded carefully. People who were hurting often had triggers that even they didn’t know about until they were set off.
Had she done that to Aidan?
Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut? Mixing personal feelings with psychoanalysis was something she’d learned in her first psych class not to do. And this was more than just personal feelings. She had a vested interest in the outcome. How selfish she’d been.
When she at last spotted Aidan at a distance, headed toward the house, she breathed her first easy breath in hours. To know that he’d walked the beach, alone and hurting, because of her made her already aching heart feel as though it was bleeding.
As he drew closer, Anna struggled with what she wanted to say versus what she needed to say. She would wait, gauge his mood, and then speak. The instant she saw his blank expression, she knew whatever she said wouldn’t fix things.
“I didn’t know if you would be hungry. I made chicken salad. I can make you a sandwich, if you like.”
“Thanks. Not hungry.”
No longer able to hold it inside, she burst out, “Aidan, I’m sorry. I never should have said what I said.”
“You’re entitled to your opinion, Anna.”
“It’s not my opinion. I just—” She stopped. She was going back down the road she shouldn’t have traveled in the first place.
“I know you’re hurting, Anna, and I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. That’s why—”
“Wait. You think I said what I did because you hurt me? That’s absolutely not true. I said it because you’re hurting. I care about you and can’t bear to see what your guilt is doing to you. I—”
“Drop it. Okay?”
More miserable now than she had been before, Anna nodded.
“I’m going to take a shower.”
Only hours earlier, they’d showered together, laughing and loving each other until they were both breathless. The invitation for her to join him didn’t come.
She allowed herself to absorb the hurt. What did she expect? He made it clear to her from the beginning that they had no future together. She knew she sometimes found herself on the unrealistic side of optimism, but even she should have seen the handwriting on the wall. Changing Aidan’s mind after all these years was a fool’s endeavor.
Anna didn’t know how long she stayed there, staring into the dark, listening to the waves rush to the shore. Going inside where Aidan would likely ignore her again held no appeal.
When at last she could no longer see her hand in front of her face, she walked up the steps and into the house. There was only silence. The place already felt empty.
Hating that their last night together had turned into a monumental letdown, she went to the bedroom. Aidan had already told her a boat would be here to pick her up just past dawn. She doubted she’d sleep much, still she needed to at least try.
She halted at the door. Aidan stood in the middle of the bedroom. She couldn’t tell if he’d been waiting for her or not. His expression was still just as blank as before, but she also saw the pain in his eyes.
“If you want, I’ll sleep in the other bedroom tonight.”
“No. Don’t go,” she whispered.
“Why? After I hurt you like that, why would you want me to stay?”
Oh, there were many answers to that question, and if she answered with what was in her heart, she would hurt him even more.
“Because you’re hurting, too.”
“It would be selfish of me.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” She held out her hand to him. “Friends don’t need a reason to give comfort, Aidan. They give it because they care.”
“So you would sleep with a friend to make him feel better?”
She scrunched her nose. “It depends on which friend.”
His conscience had no chance to win over something he wanted so much. Making what might have been the most selfish move of his life, Aidan took Anna’s hand and led her to the bed. He wanted to take his time with her, savor every precious moment. That thought disappeared with the first button. The instant it came undone, he tugged hard until the others popped open, a few pinging against the hardwood floor.
She laughed softly. “Impatient?”
“You have no idea.”
“Oh, I think I do.” And with those words, her fingers went to his shirt, and she did the most agonizing thing of all. She unbuttoned each button with a slow deliberateness that had him groaning in frustration.
“Dammit, Anna. I want you.”
“And you’ll have me, Aidan. Soon. Very soon.”
The smug, sexy smile teasing at her lips made him growl out a pain-filled laugh.
“You have a bit of sadism in you, sweet Anna?”
“No. I just know that good things come to those who wait.”
“If that’s a promise…” Willing his famous self-control to hold out, he gritted out the last few words. “Do your worst, then.”
One more button came undone. “Oh no. You get only my best.”
“You’re killing me here, Bradford.”
“Step out of your shoes.”
He toed off his shoes, saying, “You do the same.”
She stepped back. A beautiful siren. Hair slightly tousled, face flushed, teasing eyes gleaming with heat and excitement, pouty, smiling lips that looked like they’d already been kissed. Her blouse was ripped and hung haphazardly off one shoulder.
She slipped out of her shoes and reached for him again. He stepped out of her reach. Two could play this game.
“Slide your skirt off.”
The smile grew wider as she apparently thought he was going to go along with her agonizingly slow seduction.
She slid the short skirt down her long legs and let it drop to the floor.
“Now, everything else.”
“You, too.”
Their eyes locked on each other as both shed their remaining clothes.
Still holding on to that smug, seductive smile, she said, “And now let’s go even slower.”
Grabbing her by the waist, he growled, “Like hell,” and threw her onto the bed.
“Aidan!”
Heat consumed her. Aidan’s mouth was everywhere at once, licking, kissing, giving her unimaginable pleasure. They rolled around the bed, laughing, kissing, groaning, nibbling. Giving, taking, they made love like they had never made love before. Even in her sensual haze, Anna recognized the desperation in every movement, every groan. Even as a small silent part of her sobbed in denial, she refused to give in to the despair. She was in Aidan’s arms, and she would relish every single second for as long as she could.
When at last the hot, male part of him slid deeply into her, she sobbed his name, in acceptance, in need, and in love. Heat spiraled out of control as she zoomed toward ecstasy and was flung among the stars. Seconds later, Aidan joined her, and they flew through the stars together.
He pulled away and dropped down beside her. Anna snuggled into his arms and held on tight.
Just as she was drifting off to sleep, Aidan said, “Anna?”
“Hmm?”
“Promise me you’ll never give comfort like that to another friend.”
And even though they both knew he had no right to ask for any such promise, she gave it easily. “I promise.”
She fell asleep dreaming of things that might never be.
Aidan lay against the pillows. Though his eyes were closed, he had been awake for hours. He had heard Anna leave the bed. Had heard several broken sighs as she dressed and knew she was on the verge of tears. And he had felt her soft, sweet lips kiss his forehead and whisper goodbye. He hadn’t planned on saying anything to her. No matter what he said, it would hurt her. He had planned to keep his big mouth shut and let her slip out of his life.
But at the last minute, just as he knew she was about to walk out the door, he opened his eyes, and said, “Anna?”
“Yes?” She halted at the door. She didn’t turn around. He was glad for that because he greatly feared if he saw her face, he’d jump out of bed and never let her go.
“Thank you for spending this time here with me.”
Her hand on the doorframe tightened noticeably at his words. “I would’ve spent the rest of my life with you, Aidan, if only you had asked.”
The words slashed at him, more devastating than a machete.
She stood for maybe three seconds more, most likely waiting for a response. Since he couldn’t give her one that wouldn’t hurt her even more, he stayed silent.
She gave one last shaky sigh and walked out the door.
The instant the front door slammed shut, Aidan sprang out of bed and went to the front of the house. Standing at the window, he watched Anna walk down to the pier, where the boat waited. The instant Nico, the driver, spotted her, he jumped out of the boat and headed toward her. They exchanged a few words, and then he took her backpack from her hand and went back to the boat.
Anna turned and looked up at the house. Aidan knew she couldn’t see him, but he still felt as if those soft brown eyes were penetrating right through to his soul.
I would’ve spent the rest of my life with you, Aidan, if only you had asked.
He shifted his gaze slightly, stared at the doorknob. All he needed to do was turn it, open the door, and call out her name. In his mind’s eye, he pictured the scene. She would come running toward him with that breathtaking, sunny smile that lightened everything within him. He would hold out his arms, and she would throw herself into them with happy exuberance. He would tell her what was in his heart. That he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, see her smile, hear her opinion on the variety of topics that interested her, and hold her in his arms every single night for the rest of his life.
His hand actually reached toward the door, and then Mellie’s dull, lifeless image flashed in his mind, followed by Anna’s face superimposed over his dead wife’s. No. Oh hell no. He would not be so damn selfish.
Backing away, he didn’t see how long she stood there. He couldn’t watch her anymore. But what he could do was what he’d put off doing. He was damn well going to go after Simon Cook with everything that was in him. He would destroy the bastard once and for all. Then, and only then, he would go after what his heart, body, and soul longed for.
Aidan refused to give thought to the question of whether she would be waiting for him.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Phoenix, Arizona
Patrick sat in a small diner about half a block from Anna Bradford’s apartment. He could easily see the complex from here. He knew she had arrived home in a taxi about an hour ago. He also knew she drove a seven-year-old white Jeep Wrangler, which would be easy enough to spot if she left the complex.
He tapped a speed-dial number for Simon Cook, then held the phone to his ear. There was no need to waste time on greetings. The instant his employer answered, Patrick said, “She’s home.”
“Excellent. Any sign of Thorne?”
“None.”
“How did she arrive?”
“Taxi. My sources haven’t determined how she traveled back to Phoenix. Nor do we know where she’s been. No commercial airline or train itinerary lists her as a passenger. It’s like she disappeared and then reappeared out of thin air.”
“Thorne’s doing, no doubt,” Cook said.
Not sure he agreed but having no evidence to the contrary, Patrick grunted. “Could be.”
“They’ve been together this whole time. I feel it in my bones.”
The man’s obsession with Aidan Thorne was understandable. Grief could have taken over Cook’s soul, but he’d channeled it into vengeance, which in Patrick’s estimation was much more productive.
“Keep her in your sights at all times, day and night. Let’s see how Thorne plays this. See if he’s finally willing to premiere his little psychologist to the world as his woman. Or if this was just a little light flirtation.”
“And if it’s nothing serious?”
“Doesn’t matter. But knowing as much as we can will determine how we play the game. Either way, I’m looking forward to becoming acquainted with Ms. Bradford very soon.”
Bogota, Colombia
After the call ended, Cook took a moment to consider his next steps. Truth was, he was tired in his heart and in his soul. Hanging on to hatred for so long was wearying.
Aidan Thorne had not had the life he’d envisioned. He had suffered. His family had suffered. That wasn’t the revenge he wanted, but that, along with Thorne’s eventual death, was what he had been willing to accept as his final vengeance.
But now a lovely young lady had caught Thorne’s fancy. Once again, Cook couldn’t help but believe that fate was giving him this final chance. It wouldn’t fix what couldn’t be fixed, but it was as close as he was going to get. It would be enough.
Taking a key from his pocket, he unlocked a door and stepped into a secret room. Only a few were allowed inside this peaceful sanctum. The temperature was necessarily cool. He stopped a second and pulled on the sweater hanging from a peg. He crossed his arms around himself, waiting for the sweater to do its job. Each time he came in here, the temperature seemed cooler than the day before. He knew that wasn’t the case. The temperature was set by him. No one else had access to the controls.
He nodded at the woman in the corner. She sat in a rocker, and as he had insisted, there were no magazines, books, or television to distract her from her duties. Soft, soothing music was piped into the room to create an atmosphere of tranquil peace.
“You wish for me to leave?” Her voice was brusque and businesslike. Hildegard VanHousen was as no-nonsense as her name implied.
“No. I won’t be here long.”
The only acknowledgment was a slight blink of her eyes. She wasn’t a talker—another point in her favor.
The woman he’d hired before this one had had a tendency to prattle on about inconsequent
ial subjects. He’d no interest in her personal life or her opinion on anything. But she had been competent, and he’d snapped at her enough that she had eventually learned her ramblings were not welcomed. When he had caught her sneaking a book in to read, he’d fired her on the spot.
Feeling unaccountably sad, Cook didn’t stay long. He stopped at the door and shrugged off the sweater. The cool air hitting him once again, he shivered. Just as he turned the knob to leave, he looked back into the room, whispered, “Soon,” and then walked out the door.
***
Phoenix, Arizona
Returning to the real world was a harsh, unwelcome clash to Anna’s senses. Having lived in paradise, how did one return to the mundane without some kind of culture shock?
As a psychologist, she knew it was normal to have a few adjustment glitches. What she had gone through in Colombia—facing death more than once, seeing a woman killed before her eyes—was enough to cause anyone to suffer a brief period of melancholy.
As a woman who had given her heart to a man who saw no future for them, it was a little more difficult than a textbook case of brief disorientation. Anna was grieving and hadn’t come to terms with how to deal with it.
The instant she’d walked into her apartment, sadness had swamped her. Nothing pleased her. Telling herself that she needed to jump back into the swing of things hadn’t helped either. She had gone to the grocery store and bought all of her favorite foods, hoping that comfort food would ease her discomfort. When she’d eaten only a half bowl of her favorite ice cream before throwing it down the sink, she’d known she would have to do something more drastic.
If moving on meant recovery, then she was going to do it in a big way. First, she would tackle the basics. Her apartment didn’t please her. She walked from room to room, judging, assessing. After the charm and beauty of the island house, her apartment had all the appeal and imagination of a chain-hotel room. She had never really given it much thought. Traveling as much as she did, she hadn’t felt that she was missing out on anything. But now she wanted something more, something different.