MILITARY ROMANCE: The War Within Himself (Alpha Bad Boy Marine Army Seal) (Contemporary Military Suspense & Thriller Romance)

by Claire Branson

  “Bye, Momma!” She called over her shoulder. “Don’t wait up.”

  “Take care of her, Luke!” Serena’s mom hollered after them.

  “Yes, ma’am. You have my word.” As they approached his truck, he jogged slowly ahead of her to open her door. She grinned up at him as she crawled up into his raised cab. “I was thinking,” he said as he climbed into the driver’s seat and reeved the engine, “maybe we could go to Loca’s? I know it’s your favorite.”

  Serena gave him a confused glance that hid so beautifully under her bright white smile. “Loca’s went out of business a long time ago.”

  “They did?” She nodded. “Damn. Guess a lot’s changed since I’ve been gone.”

  Sensing the slight sadness in his voice, Serena piped up cheerfully. “How about Henry’s? Or we could always go to Midway. Oh! Or what about Stumpie’s? I know how you love breakfast foods at dinner time.” The way the words gushed from her mouth without thought or filter made Luke smile.

  “Where would you like to go?”

  Switching her scrunching mouth from side to side, deep in thought, she finally said, “Stumpie’s.”

  “You sure? Not just on account of me?”

  “No. I want to! As you know, I take food very seriously. I assure you I would not be making such an important decision based on your opinion.” Luke let out a heartfelt laugh at the animated nature in which she spoke, using wild hand gestures for emphasis. He had forgotten how easily she could make him laugh.

  “As long as you’re sure.” After a few minutes filled with laughter, they pulled into the parking lot at Stumpie’s. It was a place unlike any other he had been to. The best way he had found to describe it to others was a combination of a bar and a diner with a little bit of heaven mixed in. He was sure the guys in his troop had gotten tired of it before too long; he talked about missing it so often. However, he knew they hadn’t gotten sick of hearing about it as fast as they had gotten sick of hearing about Serena for as much as he talked about her.

  After opening her car door for her and helping her out of the truck, he had to resist the urge to grab her hand. At one point in his life, it had felt so natural to do so that he had a hard time not unconsciously doing it now. “Luke!” He heard a friendly voice call as they walked into the dimly lit space.

  “Mary Ellen!” Before he could finish what he was saying, she had him wrapped in a tight hug. Mary Ellen was the owner of Stumpie’s, and the mayor’s daughter. They had grown up together. In a town of 2,000, you didn’t have much of a choice but to know everyone.

  “Oh my God!” she squealed. “Please tell me this is a thing again.” She wagged her finger between the two of them.

  “Oh...” Luke couldn’t find the words to say.

  “Yeah. We’re expecting,” Serena said, rubbing her stomach gently.

  “What?!” Mary Ellen’s eyes nearly fell from her skull. “You’re…” She looked at the other people around them before whispering, “Pregnant?”

  “No!” Serena exclaimed, shoving her shoulder. “I’m totally kiddin’, but you should have seen your face.”

  “Oh thank God. I had so many follow-up questions!”

  “We’re just catching up.”

  “Well, y’all have a good time. And Luke?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you for your service. You’re a real local hero around here.”

  He could feel himself blush slightly. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Just doing my job like anyone else.”

  “Well, I appreciate what you do. Y’all seat yourselves. I’ll send Dusty over in just a few.”

  “What the hell was that?” Luke laughed when they sat down. Serena batted her eyelashes innocently.

  “I didn’t know how else to break the awkward tension of asking if we were back together.”

  “And an unexpected pregnancy was your only option?” Luke was laughing so hard he thought he might cry.

  “I’m not quick on my feet.” After keeping a straight face throughout their entire conversation, she finally broke into a fit of laughter with him. “I’ll admit, it wasn’t my best work.”

  “Guess it was about time I was the center of a town-wide rumor. Been too long since I was a part of one of those.”

  “Hey, somebody’s got to keep things interesting around here.” At that exact moment Dusty came and took their order, but not before he asked Luke a million invasive questions about Iraq. When he finally headed off to the kitchen to put their order in, Serena looked at him with bug eyes. “I am so sorry about that.”

  “’Bout Dusty? He’s just a kid interested in war. Most the young guys are nowadays with all the commercials glorifying it all. Well, I’m here to tell ya, it ain’t nothing like the commercials.” He took a swig of his beer and leaned back in his seat. Hearing the hurt in his voice, Serena’s forehead creased with concern.

  “How long are you home for this time?”

  “For good.” Without making eye contact, he took another drink from his bottle and focused on peeling the label like it was the most interesting thing in the entire world.

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “I’m not going back. I was…” He cleared his throat and tried to sound as casual as possible. “I was discharged by the Marines.”

  “Luke, what happened?” The pity in her voice was the exact reason he hadn’t told anyone.

  “Mines can be a pesky thing.” He planned to leave it at that, but seeing how confused and scared she was made him carry on. “It ain’t that bad. The main trouble was my shoulder. I spent the last few months in a physical rehab center in Arizona, but I’m almost back to normal now.”

  “Luke…I’m so sorry.” She said the words barely above a whisper.

  “Don’t be. I was lucky. A few my buddies weren’t nearly as lucky as me. Plus, I had a good run at it. Four years ain’t too bad.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Not really how you want to start a conversation with a pretty girl. Plus, it’s over now. I can’t go back and change things, so it doesn’t matter anymore.” She reached across the table and very gently sat her hand on top of his. Her ocean blue eyes burned into his with concern.

  “Luke…”

  “Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “So…how does your boyfriend feel about you being at dinner with your charming ex?” She shot him a devilish smirk.

  “That was smooth.”

  “Was it? Been tryin’ to think of a good way to bring that up all day.” Luke chuckled. The moment of silence that followed had his heart in his throat. What if she was dating someone? How would he take that news?

  Serena scrunched her nose, making a face at him. “No boyfriend. How does your girlfriend feel about it?”

  “Ah, so you’re interested,” he teased. “No girlfriend.”

  “Oh, sorry.” She made a dramatically surprised face. “Boyfriend?” She couldn’t even get the word fully out before she burst into laughter.

  “Real funny.”

  “Well, you did spend the like four years surrounded by nothing but men.”

  “Hey now. We had a couple women in our groups, you sexist.” His eyes glimmered as he teased her back, and the awkward tension from before quickly melted away. They sat for nearly two hours, laughing and talking as if nothing had changed between them. Luke loved every single moment he got to spend around her. Something about her radiated happiness. It was nearly impossible to be around her without finding yourself filled with warmth and meaning.

  Luke could slowly feel his hands beginning to shake more and more as time went on. He cursed himself for forgetting to take his medicine before he left. He didn’t know how he could have been so stupid. Still, he was having such a good time that he chose to ignore it.

  “Oh shit. Serena?” A deep voice came from behind them, heavy with arrogance.

  “Nathan.” Although Serena’s voice was polite, it was obvious that
she didn’t care to be talking to him.

  “It’s been a while, huh?”

  “Yeah, it’s been a while.”

  “Damn, Luke,” Nathan said as he turned his attention back to him. “It’s been even longer since I’ve seen you round here. Weren’t you off shooting up those towel heads? If only I wasn’t flat-footed,” he said to the guy next to him. “I’d be out there putting caps in all of ’em.”

  “That’s not a rule anymore.”

  Anger shot across Nathan’s face, and his voice was filled with defense. “Uh, yeah it is. I talked to a recruiter senior year, same as you.” Luke was in no mood to ruin their evening by arguing the rules of the military with someone he didn’t even care to talk to at all, so he didn’t say anything else and let Nathan think that he had won.

  “So, Serena, how have you been?”

  “I’ve been good.” Nathan grabbed a chair from the table next to where they were seated and pulled it over, making an awful screeching noise on the floor. He flipped it backward and sat with his legs on either side of the back, his arms crossed, leaning across the back of it.

  “Yeah? I heard you were almost done with your teaching degree.”

  “Yes. I only have one semester left.” It was always obvious when Serena didn’t want to talk to someone, because she would say the bare minimum required to be able to get by. Normally he couldn’t get her to stop talking.

  “I wish we’d had teachers like you around when I was in school. Bet you could teach me a thing or two.” He eyed Serena up and down, not concerned with how noticeable it was. The tone of his voice made Serena’s skin crawl and Luke’s blood boil.

  “If you don’t mind,” she said politely. “We’re in the middle of a date.”

  “A date?” Nathan asked while letting out a mocking laugh. “With this guy?” As he leaned in closer to her, she could smell the whiskey on his breath. “Wouldn’t you rather go out with a real man?”

  “All right,” Luke interrupted. “You’ve said hi. I think it’s time for y’all to go now.” Nathan didn’t even turn to look at Luke. He kept his eyes plastered on every square inch of Serena.

  “I wasn’t talking to you. I asked the lady a question. I could show you a good time if you’d let me.”

  “Honestly,” Serena said slowly, nervously. Her scared eyes darted to Luke. “You’re making me very uncomfortable.”

  “Listen here. You’d be lucky to get to go out with me.” Anger rose in Nathan’s voice with each word. “Ain’t nobody good enough for you? You spoiled bitch.”

  “That’s enough,” Luke growled through clenched teeth.

  Acting as if he hadn’t hear him, Nathan cupped Serena’s chin in his hand. “Might be a bitch, but you’re as hot as always.” With a look of disgust on her face, she forcefully pushed his hand away.

  “Please, don’t touch me.”

  “You’re kidding right? Like you’re some kind of princess?” As she stood to walk away, Nathan grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

  “She said not to touch her.” Luke’s voice boomed with anger. In one swift motion he pushed the chair Nathan was sitting in, which caused him to go flying to the ground. Luke tried to silently talk down the anger that was rising inside him.

  Nathan looked around when he hit the ground as if he was confused about how he had ended up there. Anger covered his face as he pieced together what had happened. “You kiddin’ me?” he yelled at the top of his lungs. At this point they had gathered the attention of everyone else in the building, and a crowd was beginning to form. Nathan drunkenly got to his feet and pushed Luke.

  “Listen, I don’t want to fight you,” Luke said. “Sorry I shoved you—” Before Luke could finish his sentence, Nathan shoved him again.

  “Scared of me, Luke?”

  Luke’s hands began to shake even more, and he closed his eyes to try to regain focus on the situation that he was losing. At that exact moment the front door slammed, and having already been agitated, this pushed Luke over the edge.

  It was something he could never explain. It was as if his body was taken over by someone else. He felt terrified and liberated all at once. After that, it all went black. The next thing he remembered, he was kneeling over Nathan’s body with blood-splattered hands. Serena’s terrified voice echoed in the background around him. He looked at his shaking hands, dripping with red, as if they weren’t his own. Slowly the confusion subsided and he realized what he had done.

  Horrified with himself, he stood and looked to Serena with wide eyes. He knew that this was it, that she would never speak to him again after something like this. Gathering himself, he bent down and extended his hand to Nathan, who flinched away from him. “I…I’m really sorry.” Luke struggled to get the words out. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “Just leave me alone,” Nathan interrupted in a meek voice. Luke looked around at the crowd that was now looking at him with fearful eyes. Unsure of what else to do, Luke turned toward the front door and took a few steps in that direction. Instantly the crowd parted. Most people couldn’t pinpoint the moment things went wrong, but he knew this was that moment.

  *

  “It’s never as bad as you think it is, sweetie,” Luke’s mother said comfortingly as she poured a cup of tea. “Here. It always calms my nerves.” Luke took the cup with shaking hands and tried his best to make it to his mouth without spilling it.

  “Ma, I knocked out a guy in front of half the town.” Tears welled in his eyes as he recalled the events of the evening. “We were having such a good time before he came.”

  “This event doesn’t take away from that. It doesn’t change the chemistry you had.”

  “Yeah, it does.” He took a deep, shaky breath. “Kind of cancels out the good when it ends with that much bad.” Luke’s mother fought back tears as she watched her son slowly eroding before her eyes. Her heart ached for him. She poured herself a cup of tea and sat beside him on the couch, trying to calm herself and put on a strong front. “Ma, I really messed up. I hurt him. I hurt him real bad, and now half the town’s going to be scared of me. They’re going to think I’m a monster.”

  Luke thought back over his past few tours overseas and all the things he had seen, all the things he had done. “Maybe I am a monster. Maybe it’s not possible to come back from all the things I have been through like Dr. Collins thinks.”

  His mother put her hand under his chin and pulled it gently toward her, forcing his downward-drawn eyes to look at her. “Now you listen to me.” Her voice shook as the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back slid down her cheeks. “When your father died, you did everything you ever could to make sure that I was taken care of. You enlisted in the Marines straight out of high school because you knew you had a greater purpose. You volunteered for two extra tours in Iraq because you wanted to stand beside your brothers. Now that…that don’t sound like a monster to me.”

  “Ma—”

  “You are a good man,” his mother interrupted before he could finish. “One mistake doesn’t change that. Do you understand that?”

  Luke nodded slowly. “But what if she doesn’t understand that?” A tear slid down his cheek at the thought of never seeing Serena again.

  “Oh, honey. If she doesn’t understand that, then she’s not the one for you. You deserve someone who will love you no matter what, but don’t give up on her yet. She’s a smart girl.”

  Closing his eyes, he tried to block out the memories of earlier that night, the sound of her terrified voice. “I don’t know, Ma. I think I really messed up. I didn’t even get a chance to tell her about what was really going on with me.” At that exact time, a muted knock came from the front door. His mother slowly got up and walked to the front door. He could hear quiet, mumbled voices before she returned to the front room.

  “Well, now’s your chance. Serena is here.” Following a few feet behind her, Serena entered the room hesitantly. He stood quickly and took a few steps toward her before stopping short. His mother excu
sed herself and left the two in impending silence.

  “Serena, I—” Before he got a chance to speak, she interrupted him.

  “Can I talk first, please?”

  “Course.” He motioned for her to sit and, once she did, did the same.

  She sat down in a chair across the coffee table from him and looked him directly in the eyes. “Luke, that was absolutely terrifying. I—”

  “I know. I’m really sorr—” He began to ramble before she lifted her hand and cut him off again.

  “But, I want to thank you.” Luke’s forehead creased with confusion. “Thank you for standing up for me when many others would have walked away. Thank you for respecting me enough to know the way he was treating me wasn’t okay. That is the Luke I remember.” She took a deep breath and looked at her hands, which were clenched tightly in her lap. “With that being said, there was another Luke there tonight that I didn’t recognize. Where did all that anger and aggression come from? The Luke I grew up with wouldn’t have hurt a fly.”

  “Serena, I’m so sorry. More sorry than you could understand. You gotta believe that I never meant for that to happen. I just got angry, and I snapped. I really thought I had changed. I didn’t think that would happen again.” Once the words left his mouth, he cursed himself for saying them. He had told her more than he’d ever intended to. Now she would be scared of him for sure.

  She looked at him with concern painted across her face. “Again? Meaning that this has happened before?”

  Luke took a deep breath and prepared himself to tell her all the things he had never told anyone else. “’Member how I told you I was in Arizona doing physical therapy on my shoulder?” She nodded. “Well, it wasn’t the only thing I was there for. I didn’t just come back from war with a screwed up shoulder. I also came back with PTSD. Did a lot of therapy while I was there too, and I thought I was getting better. I really thought I was, but the flashbacks to the attack…they kept happenin’. I was out joggin’ one night with my headphones in, and a guy behind me grabbed my arm to tell me my keys had fallen out of my pocket. He had been hollerin’ at me but I didn’t hear it.”