MILITARY ROMANCE: The War Within Himself (Alpha Bad Boy Marine Army Seal) (Contemporary Military Suspense & Thriller Romance)

by Claire Branson

  “Cassie,” he said, interrupting the speech she was giving on immortal jellyfish, “promise me you’ll never put yourself in danger like that again.”

  The surprise on her face revealed to him that she had completely forgotten about their encounter with the Shadow Pride, despite the bandaged wound on her arm from where the spear hit.

  “I can’t make that promise,” she stated truthfully. “Not when it comes to you. Who was that?”

  He didn’t want to tell her. He didn’t want her involved in any of it. But he spoke, arming her with knowledge. “I was attacked by a member of the Shadow Pride – a family of lions who formerly reigned over these lands. My pride doesn’t just live her. Many prides do. The wilderness here is vast. It was acquired over a century ago by Thomas Dalkey – a great-grandfather of what is now known as the Shadow Pride. Dalkey had a keen insight. He knew it was only a matter of time before the unclaimed lands of the West were fully settled, so he purchased this land while it was still unblemished so all lions had a place to roam free. He did it as an act of charity, but his decedents weren’t so benevolent. They believed it gave them power – the power to rule. The other prides did not agree, and so Thomas Dalkey’s descendants were pushed from the land. But they did not go far, nor did they forget. They sought ways to reclaim their land and assert their power, eventually turning to a Native American shaman who gave the Dalkey lineage the ability to travel as shadows when they are in human form. That is how they earned the name the Shadow Pride. But the process of transforming and traveling as a shadow is exhaustive and dangerous, so it is not frequently done. At least we have that blessing.”

  “But why you?” Cassie asked. “Why did they attack you?”

  “Because I am the alpha of my pride. I am the guardian of my people, ever since my parents were killed…”

  He could feel the angry rising in his voice, and he quickly calmed himself. He did not want his emotions to cause him to shift, in case the lift on the affliction was only temporary. For over a year, he had been frozen in his lion form. He was in no hurry to return to it, especially now that she, his mate, was near.

  “Anyway, I am now the alpha. My pride is the largest here. The other prides look to us with respect. They follow our lead, especially my sister and I. We are the last of the white lions on this range. Others exist, but not here. We are unique. And our family is large. If we fall, the Shadow Pride has a much greater chance of reclaiming their territory.”

  “And there’s no way the Shadow Pride can co-exist with the other prides?”

  Gowon grunted, imagining the sharp point of the spear aimed straight for his heart. Affectionately, he ran a hand over the bandage on Cassie’s arm. “The Shadow Pride do not understand the concept of co-habitation. To them, it is only rule or be ruled.”

  ***

  Chapter five

  Cassie

  Weeks passed, but Cassie barely noticed. Time did not exist. There was only Gowon. And his pride. They came in groups, trickling in and out to pay their respects to their alpha, elated he had found a way back to his human form. They didn’t all live on the range, not like Gowon and Sammi. Most lived elsewhere – from big, cosmopolitan cities to little suburban towns – but this was their home. This was where they could roam free, truly be themselves.

  “They like you,” Sammi noted to her one day as they waved goodbye from the porch to a group of adolescent cousins breaking free from their parents for a weekend. “They don’t even mind that you’re not one of us.”

  “Could I be?” Cassie asked, surprising herself. “I read a book that said the transformation can happen, under the fire of Leo. But only if the participant is willing.”

  “Yes, it can, but I don’t think my brother would allow it. He believes he has put you in too much danger as it is. If you become part of our pride, you’ll be marked.”

  “I guess it’s irrelevant at the moment,” Cassie said, watching Gowon as he looked across the range in remorse, barely noticing as his cousins beeped one final time from their little Volkswagen Beetle as they drove away. “He still hasn’t changed. He’s afraid that if he does, he’ll be trapped again.”

  “Either way, he’s trapped,” Sammi said miserably. “Trapped in his human form. Trapped in his lion form. He won’t fully be free unless he can shift at will.”

  “So how do we free him?”

  “We break the affliction by killing the one who put it on him,” Sammi told, unmistakably devastated.

  “But we don’t know who that is.”

  Sammi was taken aback. “Is that what my brother told you?”

  “Yes,” Cassie declared, realizing Gowon may not have been completely honest.

  Sammi would say no more, but for the first time that day, she smiled in what looked like gratitude.

  ***

  “Tell me,” Cassie insisted, sitting on Gowon’s lap on the porch step, preferring the fresh air outside to the stifling heat within the house. “Tell me what it feels like to be a lion.”

  There were other things she wanted him to tell her, like who put the curse on him, but she thought she’d start small and work her way up.

  “Exhilarating. Natural. Powerful,” he answered. “The world comes alive.”

  “I read a few interesting facts about lions. Did you know that a lion’s roar can be heard five miles away? And that lionesses are better hunters?”

  Gowon laughed. “All true. You know what else is true?”

  “What?” she asked, enjoying the way he lit up when she was near.

  In answer, he took her hand and led her away from the house. “I haven’t shown you what lies beneath the rock,” he alluded, leading her towards a rocky formation in the distance.

  “You know my weak spot – scientific curiosity,” she said happily.

  They hiked just under an hour, Gowon intentional in his stride. He knew exactly where he was leading her. Cassie let him, excited to see what lay beyond. Or, in this case, below.

  They stopped outside a cave. The mouth was tiny, but upon squeezing through, Cassie was rewarded with the beauty of a giant cavern, dark if not for the hundreds of candles that illuminated the sandstone.

  “You did this?” Cassie was touched he would go through such lengths.

  Gowon wrapped his arms around her and she sank into his touch. Never before had she felt so protected, so safe.

  “I love you,” he whispered into her ear. “You told me that white lions are a gift from the Sun God, but you are the real gift, Cassie.”

  “I love you too,” she said, realizing how true it was. She couldn’t say it was love at first sight. It was only over the past weeks that she had gotten to know Gowon – their long talks on the porch, making love on the open plain –that she fell in love with him. But she was in love, irreversibly and eternally so.

  His hold on her tightened. She could practically feel him smiling behind her. And then he lifted her into his arms, his alpha strength well capable of handling her big, beautiful body. She knew the look in his eye – man or lion, it was the same. A hunger to feel flesh on flesh.

  Then the lights went out, casting them into almost darkness.

  Cassie had been wrong. The candles hadn’t been the only source of light in the cavern. A thin stream poured in through the mouth of the cave, casting shadows around them.

  Next to her, Gowon growled from deep within, a roar ready to rip across the cave.

  “Run,” he demanded. “Back into the light.”

  Cassie didn’t move. She was afraid, watching as a shadow begin to take the shape of a person, but she wasn’t frozen in fear. She refused to leave without him. It was obvious to her that he planned to stay and fight.

  “Let me help you destroy him,” she implored. “Then we can break the affliction.”

  “Her,” Gowon corrected. “The alpha of the Shadow Pride is a her.”

  Oh. Cassie hadn’t expected that, but it didn’t change her resolve.“Then let’s destroy her.”

  “It wou
ldn’t matter–”

  Before he could say more, Cassie felt herself lifted into the air and dropped back down – hard. Her body in agony, she lay on the cold stone, conscious long enough to see Gowon transform into a lion and hear his kingly roar before everything went black.

  ***

  Chapter Six

  “Good morning,” Sammi hummed brightly across the bed from her, the sunlight radiant against her pale blonde hair. “I’m glad you’re finally awake.”

  Cassie’s head felt like it had housed a firework display. The pain was explosive, but not more than her worry over Gowon.“Where is he?” she asked.

  “He’s okay. He’s on patrol roaming the range.”

  “As a lion?”

  Sammi’s look told her everything.

  Cassie leaned her head back against her bed. “He can’t shift.”

  “Unfortunately,” Sammi responded. “The affliction remains. He was able to shift from a human into a lion, but once again, he’s stuck in his lion form.”

  And once again, we are divided, Cassie thought. “It’s all my fault,” she said out loud. “I should have ran.”

  “That’s one thing you both have in common – you like to blame yourself. Gowon’s out there doing the same.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “I can read my brother well, especially when he’s in lion form. So what happened?”

  “We were attacked by the Shadow Pride, in a cave Gowon brought me to. I think there was more than one. We were preoccupied with one shadow when another attacked.”

  Sammi looked sad but said nothing.

  “If only we could reach the alpha of the Shadow Pride when she’s not traveling as a shadow,” Cassie calculated. “Then we could lift the affliction.”

  “It wasn’t Kalisha, the alpha, who put the affliction on Gowon,” Sammi confessed with a reluctant sigh. “It was Kafele.”

  Cassie was confused. “But why would Kafele...”

  “Because he is of the Shadow Pride. Or he was. We met after he had put the affliction on my brother. I went to kill Kalisha, his cousin and his alpha, thinking it had been her, but he stopped me. We should have fought, but we couldn’t. We instantly recognized each other as mates, a force beyond our control. I knew I couldn’t fight Kafele, nor could I find a way around him, so I left. A few nights later, he showed up here, claiming he had left his pride for me. I didn’t trust him, and he knew I likely never would, so he told me the truth about Gowon’s affliction, that it was he who used the powers of the shaman to debilitate my brother. He ordered me to kill him so that I could have my brother back. He was willing to die for my happiness, and that of my brother, but I couldn’t allow it. Gowon may be trapped in his lion form, but he is still alive. A life for a life was not just, not when Kafele was full of such regret. Over time, I did learn to trust him. And so did Gowon, even after I told him the truth.”

  In a way, it was a relief for Cassie to hear. Gowon hadn’t lied to her to protect himself. He’d done it to protect his sister.

  “If Kafele cursed Gowon, then doesn’t he know what’s happening? Does he know why the affliction was temporarily lifted?”

  “He used the power of the shaman, not his own. All he knows is that in order for the affliction to be destroyed completely, he has to be destroyed. At least, that’s what he thought. He’s as baffled as we are about the last few weeks. Obviously, when you risked your life to save Gowon from the spear, it triggered a temporary release, but not a permanent one. Why or how, we don’t know. And neither does Kafele.”

  “Are you sure?” Cassie probed.

  “Yes. I know my mate, the same way you know Gowon,” Sammi asserted, irritated. “I’ve entrusted you with this information about Kafele. Don’t use it against him. He has a temper, I admit it, but he’d die to save Gowon, to rectify his mistake. He would probably take his own life if I hadn’t made him promise never to leave me. His regret is real, especially now that his mistake is keeping Gowon from his mate.”

  Suddenly tired, Cassie turned her sore head out towards the window and onto the range. She wondered what it would be like to wander it with Gowon as his lioness...

  Almost instantly, her energy returned to her. “I know a way you can help redeem Kafele. Make me a lioness.”

  Sammi was not sold. “I won’t go against the wishes of my brother.”

  “To hell with that!” Cassie cried. “Make me a lioness. It’s my choice. That way, I can be with Gowon, no matter his form.”

  “But–”

  “No buts. Think about it – I’m already marked. They nearly killed me in the cave. At least as a lioness, I’ll be much more powerful. I know it’s possible to transform me, under the fire of Leo. When is that?”

  “Whenever the constellation Leo is in the sky. So pretty much always. You have time to think about this–”

  “No, I’ve made my decision. Redeem Kafele. Turn me into a lioness.”

  She knew Sammi wanted to object more. As the second alpha of the pride, she was not used to being told what to do, except by her brother. But there was a truth to Cassie’s argument that she knew even Sammi couldn’t deny. As a lioness, she would be stronger. And Gowon would not have to suffer a life without his mate.

  “Okay,” Sammi acquiesced. “For now, you rest. But by the end of the week, you will know the joy of feeling the earth beneath your paws.”

  ***

  Chapter Six

  Cassie

  Cassie had expected some sort of ritual, but she had not anticipated just how elaborate that ritual would be. Standing on the porch of the house, she was dressed in a white linen halter gown that, complimented with a chunky gold necklace, felt downright tribal. The outfit, she loved. The dozens of females surrounding the porch, not so much. All members of the pride, the women gloated over her, as if they were fawns and not the lionesses they were meant to be.

  “Did you have to call in the cavalry?” Cassie muttered. “I didn’t realize we needed witnesses.”

  “It’s not the full cavalry. I told the men and children to stay at home. And they’re not witnesses,” Sammi corrected. “They’re positive energy. It’s been centuries since our pride has seen the fire under Leo. We need all the encouragement we can get,” she attested, glancing up.

  Cassie followed her line of sight to the constellation of Leo. It wasn’t an obvious outline of a lion. In fact, Cassie thought it resembled a steam iron more, but there was beauty in its recognition.

  “Is that smoke I smell?” she suddenly asked, her stomach twisting in a knot. “Wait – is there actual fire involved? I thought the fire part was just symbolic, representing the stars.”

  “I’m afraid it’s not that simple,” Sammi said and stepped forward, leading the pride of females away.

  Though they were all here for her, Cassie trailed behind. She knew no matter what was required of her, she would do it. She wanted to be with Gowon. But she was frightened. As frantically as her mind searched, there was nothing scientific regarding what was about to happen. It was all up to a higher power.

  Again, Cassie stopped and looked up at Leo. When her eyes dropped, Gowon stood before her.

  He truly was a magnificent beast, with his pale fur and grey-green eyes. Before, her mind had separated his beast self from his human self. She was mesmerized by the lion but loved the man. Now, knowing what she was about to become, she loved the lion just as freely.

  “It’ll be okay,” she promised, reading the uncertainty within him. “I know what I’m doing. It’s my choice.”

  His uncertainty did not disappear, but he accepted her answer, leading her towards the fire. As they approached, Cassie could see just how big a bonfire it was. The flames extended far above the heads of the lionesses who circled it, each remaining in their human form. As Gowon entered the circle, with Cassie only a few steps behind, the lionesses parted, allowing their alpha and his mate to pass.

  She took her place next to Sammi, a tolerable distance from the heat, but close e
nough that she could feel just how deadly the fire was.

  Sammi began the ritual. “Cassie Judd, you have chosen to become a lioness, to join the sisterhood we have long established within this pride. We accept you with our love and understanding.”Momentarily flashing a giant set of carnivorous teeth, she partially transformed, biting into her own hand so that it bled. Then she went to the fire and let the blood drop within the flames. “Our blood is your blood.”

  “Our blood is your blood,” the lionesses echoed, and they followed Sammi’s example.

  “Now it’s your turn,” Sammi said hesitantly. “You must sacrifice your blood to the fire.”

  “Okay,” Cassie acknowledged, searching around her for a sharp stick to cut her hand with.

  “No,” Sammi said, resting a hand on her shoulder, her grip an indication of the strength within. “In order to transform, you must enter the flames.”

  “Oh,” Cassie repeated, this time with far less confidence as she peered straight into the flames, feeling her face turn red with the heat. Now she understood why Sammi had been so cryptic about the ritual. If Cassie had known earlier that she had to walk into the fire, she would have been driven crazy with the fear and anticipation. “Will it hurt?”

  “I don’t know,” Sammi admitted. “You can still change your mind, Cassie. We accept you as you are. You’re Gowon’s mate. You’re already part of this pride.”

  “But I’m divided from my mate,” Cassie insisted, looking at Gowon. “We can’t speak. We can’t... touch. We are not one, not like this. This is the only way.”

  Before she lost her confidence, with her heart full of her love for Gowon, Cassie jumped straight into the flames.

  ***

  Gowon

  It took all of Gowon’s self-will not to jump into the fire after Cassie. A pain he never knew before overtook him as he watched her sacrifice herself for him.