Squared Away

by Annabeth Albert

  But then he did have to look at him to do the rings and it was a close thing, not crying. Given how much work they both did with their hands, they’d decided on simple titanium bands that would stand up to the abuse they were sure to dole out. And picking them up had been on Isaiah’s share of the to-do list, so Mark hadn’t seen them until that instant, hadn’t had it really sink in that he was going to wear this the rest of his life. For the rest of his life, he’d be able to look down, see this and know he was Isaiah’s.

  Dust. Pollen. Rogue raindrops from a cloudless sky. Not crying. Not him.

  “It’s okay,” Isaiah whispered as he slid the ring on, his own eyes shining.

  Finally, the officiant said, “You may kiss.”

  Oh crap. Maybe they should have rehearsed this. Was he really going to kiss Isaiah in front of Isaiah’s father? His teammates? Rogers?

  Yes. Yes, you are. If you don’t you don’t deserve Isaiah, don’t deserve those rings, don’t deserve this family. And besides you really want to.

  Yeah, he did. He pulled Isaiah to him, the quickest of kisses, a bare brushing of their mouths, which Isaiah was apparently on board with, pulling away fast. But then Bacon coughed. “Seriously dudes? You guys like each other, right?”

  And okay. Mark was a teeny bit competitive. So he tugged Isaiah back again and kissed him. Really kissed him. Six years of waiting for that first kiss. The certainty that Isaiah was the one. The worry that Isaiah would never forgive him. The joy at sharing this moment together. The audience whooped and applauded.

  “Stubborn SEAL.” Isaiah laughed and shook his head.

  Someone hit play on the music—their song playing as they made their way back down the aisle, collecting the kids as they went, letting the girls dance in front of them.

  Afterward, they all had the cupcakes Maddox had brought and made plans to catch the hotel-provided shuttle over to the theme park after changing out of their dress uniforms. He was feeding Liam crumbs of cake when a contingent of Dylan, Tovey, Horvat, and Bacon came over to where he sat on the bench.

  “We know you want lots of pictures at the park with the kids,” Dylan said. “But after that, we’ve made dinner reservations for the two of you. We’re taking the kids tonight.”

  “What? We’re fine. They’re kind of a handful and you’ve got the twins already.”

  “That’s why I recruited help. Apollo’s coming up tonight after he’s off duty. And until then, I’ve got help.” Dylan indicated the other guys. “Ben’s got nieces and nephews. Maddox has treats. And Bacon’s here for damage control. It’s your wedding night. You need to enjoy it.”

  “And don’t feel you have to come get them too early tomorrow morning either,” Tovey joked, winking at him.

  “Doubt they sleep,” added Rogers, who happened to be nearby. Mark still wasn’t quite over him showing up. He didn’t know what sort of magic Tovey had worked on him, getting him and most of the rest of the team there.

  “Don’t I know it.” Tovey chuckled. “We needed a vacation just to recover from the honeymoon.”

  The guys all laughed, shoving at his shoulders, and making the sort of wedding night jokes Mark supposed were standard. Sex. Of course, that’s what everyone assumed they’d be doing tonight. Wild, freaky, exhausting sex, of the sort Mark had a hard time visualizing. Was that what Isaiah was expecting too?

  Crap. In all the wedding preparations, he hadn’t thought about this, hadn’t let the old worries that maybe he wasn’t enough for Isaiah back in, but now they returned full force and stayed with him even as they headed for the shuttle. They stuck to the little kid rides for Daphne and Zoe, exploring at their pace, making sure their friends got lots of pictures of the five of them together.

  “Okay, time for you to get lovey-dovey.” Horvat laughed as he took Liam from Isaiah several hours later. “You’ve got a dinner to get to. Go wear each other out. We’ll see you in the morning.”

  Alone at last. Mark supposed that other couples would be racing toward the nearest bed at this point. He glanced over at Isaiah, hoping he’d have some direction, some indication of what he expected.

  But he only yawned. “They somehow got us reservations for Blue Bayou. We get to watch the pirate boats and then go to the electrical parade. If I can stay awake that long.”

  “Parade sounds fun,” Mark offered. “I haven’t done that one since I was a kid.”

  “Well let’s do it. I want crème brûlée for dessert too.” Isaiah smiled at him, then laughed. “Can you believe we really did it?”

  “No,” Mark said truthfully. And then because he could, because this was his person, his husband, he took Isaiah’s hand as they made their way to the restaurant. And the smile Isaiah gave him as he glanced down at their joined hands was worth everything. All the unknowns. All the internal debate.

  And Isaiah didn’t seem to be in any hurry to do more than hold hands, taking his time over dinner, and sticking close to Mark for the parade show.

  “Okay, now I’m really tired.” Isaiah rested his head on Mark’s shoulder in the darkened shuttle on the ride back to the hotel.

  “To bed.” Mark tried to quiet the trepidation in his gut. Everyone was expecting them to have the standard raunchy wedding night fun when all he really wanted was what they’d had the last few nights—sleepy talk and cuddling.

  Back in the hotel room, Isaiah wasted no time stripping down to his boxer briefs and flopping on the bed, so Mark did the same thing, landing next to him.

  “Mmm.” Isaiah snuggled into his side. “Do you want to watch a movie before we sleep or too tired?”

  Damn. What was the right answer here? Mark made a frustrated noise.

  “What’s the matter?” Isaiah rolled so that he could peer down at Mark.

  “Everyone thinks... Don’t you want to fuck? I mean it’s our wedding night, right?”

  Moving faster than Mark would have thought possible, Isaiah pinned him to the bed, straddling his waist.

  “Your friends got to you, didn’t they?” He shook his head. “Man, you guys are competitive as hell. One of them thinks we should break the bed and all of a sudden you’re hell-bent to try. Do you want that?”

  It was hard to lie with Isaiah holding him down like this, eyes all intent. “Not really,” he admitted. “I mean, I want you. Want to be close but...”

  “You do get that it’s not anyone else’s business what we get up to—or not—in the bedroom? Right?”

  “I know that. I just worry that you deserve—”

  “I deserve you. And our sex life is just that. Ours. Maybe someday you get comfortable, you tell more than just Bacon that you’re demisexual or gray ace. But you don’t have to. This isn’t a competition. Or a script. We don’t need to invite their opinions and assumptions into our private space.”

  “But don’t you like fucking?”

  “I like making love.” Isaiah put extra emphasis on each word. “And you’ve shown me that that can come in a variety of forms, not all of which have orgasms attached. I’ve had fucking. It’s great and it’s fun and I did enjoy when you nailed me to the bathroom wall. Feel free to do that again sometime if the mood strikes you. But what made it truly great was how I felt about you. That’s what I care about. Making love. With you. And maybe sometimes that means a massage and sometimes it means something else.”

  “I love you.” Mark broke free of Isaiah’s hold rather easily, yanked him down for a kiss. “So much. I just don’t want you disappointed. Not tonight especially. If you need—”

  “I don’t.” Isaiah kissed him back. “I wasn’t lying about being exhausted. It’s been a whirlwind couple of days. And now I get to sleep all night without baby duty, and we’ve been ordered to have breakfast in bed tomorrow. That sounds pretty spectacular to me. Work in some kissing, maybe a shower together in the morning, and I’m a happy, happy guy.”

&n
bsp; “I can do that.” Mark pulled him close, let Isaiah stretch out on him. “Mmm. I want you to fall asleep exactly like this.”

  “See?” Isaiah kissed his neck “We’re perfect together.”

  * * *

  Isaiah slept a full nine hours his first night as a married guy and loved every second of it, waking up draped around Mark, who seriously was the best body pillow ever.

  “I miss the shower in the master,” Mark said as he cuddled Isaiah close. Knowing him, he’d probably been awake awhile, but he’d let Isaiah sleep, which was sweet of him. “I’m not sure we’re both going to fit in this one. And you wanted to shower together...”

  “Have you seriously been lying there obsessing about logistics?” Isaiah had to laugh. “We’ll take turns. No worries.”

  “Speaking of the master...” Mark stroked the hair away from Isaiah’s face. “If Tom Yates works it out for us through probate that I—we—can keep the house, what would you think about painting that room? New king-size bed we pick out together? Maybe a big flat screen TV since you like the idea of watching movies in bed?”

  “We can do that.” Isaiah had to swallow hard. It would be difficult, claiming that space as theirs. But it was also right and healing. They couldn’t truly make the house a home, raise the kids there, if they let the ghosts have run of the place. At some point, they’d have to make it theirs. “But I think my dad’s actually going to be a little sad if we don’t end up with him in La Jolla.”

  “We’ll save him a guest room.” Mark laughed, but his eyes were tender. “And if it’s too hard for you, if you want a fresh start somewhere—”

  “I’ve got my fresh start. With you.” Isaiah kissed him softly. He really had been too tired the night before to do more than a few sleepy kisses before drifting off, but this morning, he took his time. He was happy with things exactly how they were. They cuddled. They kissed. Sometimes those activities led to orgasms. Sometimes they were simply great on their own, and it was up to them how they wanted to define their sex life, what they felt comfortable with on a given day. Isaiah wasn’t going to let societal pressure into their bedroom.

  He started the kiss, but it didn’t take much before Mark took it over, doing all Isaiah’s favorite things—nibbling and nipping and exploring. They kissed for endless minutes, basking in the pleasure of not having to be anywhere other than right there with each other. Mark’s hands swept up and down his back, urging Isaiah closer. He tugged on Isaiah’s boxers. “Too many clothes.”

  “Hey, hey.” Isaiah tried to avoid his nimble hands. “I meant what I said last night. We don’t have to. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

  “I know.” Mark grinned at him. “And I love that about you. But I do like sharing this with you sometimes. And we’ve never made out during daylight hours. I’m kind of digging how you look in the sunshine. Wanna see you naked.”

  “Bedhead, I’m sure.” Isaiah laughed as he pulled off his underwear. “But yeah, mornings are kind of a novelty, and not something we’re likely to get very many of. Feel free to enjoy me however you want.”

  He stretched, pulling Mark on top of him, gasping when their bare skin connected. Fuck but he loved this, wasn’t ever getting tired of this. And no one, no one, ever kissed like Mark. So present. So intense. So slow and thorough, like Isaiah was the three-course meal they’d had the night before and he was determined to savor every once-in-a-lifetime bite.

  And he didn’t confine his attentions just to Isaiah’s mouth like he usually did, instead kissing his neck for a long, blissful exploration that had Isaiah panting. Seeming to be on some sort of mission, Mark scooted lower, kissing Isaiah’s chest.

  “Does this feel good?” he asked before kissing his nipple.

  “Everything you do feels amazing. But yes, I like that.”

  Mark took that to heart, spending several minutes teasing Isaiah’s nipples before he licked down his stomach and—

  “Hey! You don’t have to do that.” Isaiah half groaned and half laughed as Mark’s tongue connected with his straining cock, licking it with the same interest and determination he’d shown Isaiah’s neck and chest.

  “I want to. You like it, right?”

  That was a trick question, especially when Mark licked a path around his cockhead, leaving him unable to do more than moan, “Uh-huh.”

  “Then let me have my fun.”

  “Driving me crazy, Wizard,” Isaiah gasped as Mark seemed determined to try out every variation of tongue action that might feel good, flicking and licking the underside of his cock.

  “That’s the plan.” Mark winked at him. “Not gonna stop until you’re moaning my name. The real one.”

  That didn’t take long at all, especially when Mark turned his agile tongue to Isaiah’s balls.

  “Fuck. Mark.”

  “Oh good. We found something you like.” Mark’s laugh was almost as good as his warm mouth when he sucked on one before teasing the other.

  “Yeah. Me hating it was a real risk.” Isaiah was gasping for air now, a state made worse when Mark returned to his cock, gently taking the cockhead into his mouth and using his tongue to drive the last of Isaiah’s brain cells away. “Mark. That. Right there.”

  “Mmm.” Mark somehow managed to laugh with a mouth full of cock, which was real talent. He kept his rhythm shallow, but his tongue against Isaiah’s hyper-sensitive cockhead was more than enough to have him writhing on the bed.

  “Man, I love watching you let go like this,” Mark reported as he backed off a bit. “You make the best sounds.”

  “Yeah?” Isaiah yanked on his shoulder. “Come up here and make me make some more.”

  “You don’t want to come that way?” Mark sounded surprised, but he complied, stretching out on top of Isaiah again.

  “Maybe some time, but I’d rather share it with you, if you’re up for that?” Isaiah kept his voice gentle, trying to let him know that he really was okay if Mark didn’t feel like climaxing with him.

  “Yeah. Hearing you react to my kisses was nice.” Mark kissed his neck as he palmed Isaiah’s cock. “You want my hand?”

  “Here. Do us both.” Isaiah moved so that their dicks were lined up and showed Mark what he meant. Mark caught on right away, stroking them both off with his bigger, tighter grip. “Fuck. It’s not going to take much.”

  “Really?” Mark sounded delighted and redoubled his efforts as he kissed Isaiah’s mouth.

  “Close.” Isaiah rocked his hips up to meet Mark’s strokes. “Mark. Fuck that feels so good.”

  “That’s it. I love making you come. Come for me.” Mark’s breath came in ragged pants, and that even more than his hand or the amazing feel of their cocks sliding together pushed Isaiah over the edge, seeing what affect he had on Mark. He loved sharing this with him, letting him know how close he felt to him, how safe and secure and loved, and he tried to put all that into his kiss. Kissing Mark while coming was possibly his most favorite thing ever, and he kept up kissing him, even when Mark collapsed next to him, finishing himself off with a few frantic strokes.

  “Oh wow.” Mark’s voice was hoarse. “That was intense.”

  “But good intense?” Isaiah wasn’t above fishing for compliments, but he also really did want to make sure that Mark felt comfortable.

  “Yes. Fantastic intense. I love watching you climax. Might be my favorite thing ever. You are so beautiful to me,” Mark whispered against his lips. “And I know you’re going to tell me that’s bunk—”

  “It is.” Isaiah laughed.

  “But you are. I want to remember you just like this. First morning of the rest of our lives. Sunny. Smiling. Looking drunk on kissing.”

  “I am.” Isaiah pulled him down for more. And silently he pledged to always remember this moment, the perfection of being this close with the man he loved.

  “I love you.” H
e stroked Mark’s face. Mark had said the words far more than him in the days leading up to the wedding, and again a bunch of times yesterday. It was still hard for Isaiah to get the words out past all the emotions tangled up in his chest, to believe this was real, that he really got Mark, that this wasn’t all going to be yanked away again.

  “Me too. Love you so much it hurts.”

  Isaiah knew exactly what he meant. Love did hurt. No two ways about it. Love meant opening up to pain. Love meant loss. It meant uncertainty. And it also meant wonderful, beautiful things like the sun dancing through the many shades of Mark’s hair. Love meant knowing their song by heart and dancing with the kids—their kids—in front of all their friends and family. He was going to remember that moment forever too. Love meant making a life together—a full, rich life filled with ups and downs, shared together. Love was spectacular and scary all at once. And it was what they made—not with their bodies, but their hearts.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Three months later

  “I had to clean.” Daphne met Mark at the door, a scowl upon her face. Man, but her expression made him remember Danielle when she’d had to do extra chores. His heart twanged—not the fresh wound of six months ago, but a deep ache of nostalgia and loss and pride all mingled together. “Why are we having another party? Liam already had his birthday!”

  “Yes, he did.” Mark scooped up Liam, who was crawling his way. Despite pulling up on stuff for months, Liam had persisted with crawling. The pediatrician assured them that he’d walk when he was ready and that all was fine developmentally. “We wanted to celebrate some good news.”

  “Is this about the judge lady?”

  “Yup.” Isaiah came and relieved him of Liam, setting him back on the floor before giving Mark a fast peck. He smelled like rosemary and mint and wore a shirt with his new company logo on it. He’d been putting in a massive herb garden all week. Mark loved coming home to new pictures and fresh stories of the progress.