Hidden Destiny (Redwood Pack)

by Ryan, Carrie Ann

  Right now though, she needed to focus on her mate and brother. She swallowed hard, putting the thoughts of what was to come away and looking to the present. If she didn’t compartmentalize, she’d scream, cry, or do both.

  “North!” Parker yelled from the doorway, and Lexi spun on her heel. Her little boy looked stunned, his eyes wide, his face pale, his mouth open.

  “Go back into the house, Parker.” He looked ready to revolt. “Please, baby. For me.”

  He nodded, gave one last look at North and Logan, and then headed back to the residence area of the building. She could hear him pad his way there, very reluctantly. She made her way to North’s side so she could be between him and Logan. This way she wouldn’t have to make a choice of who to comfort. No, Lexi needed to be by both men to make sure they would heal and that they wouldn’t do something as crazy and stupid as what they’d just done again. She wanted to hold her mate’s hand but was too afraid to touch him.

  “North…” Her voice broke, so she stopped speaking. She had to remain strong. If she let her emotions breach the shield she’d put up, she’d break down. Her gaze met Maddox’s, who looked as if he’d been sucker-punched, and she cursed.

  Maddox was the Omega. He could feel the emotions of the entire Pack—save his twin, meaning he could also feel everything Lexi was feeling and trying so hard to hide.

  “I’m sorry…” she whispered.

  He held up a hand. “Don’t be. If you weren’t feeling like this, you wouldn’t be the mate my brother needs.”

  “Oh goddess,” Hannah said from behind them. “Reed, help Logan get in a better chair. I’ll help you soon, honey.” The Healer sent everyone to work and lay her hands over North.

  “Hannah, baby, can you fix him?” Reed asked the question they had all wanted to ask but had been too afraid to.

  “I’m going to try.”

  Heated energy filled the room, and little pinpricks of sensation danced along her skin as Hannah went to work. Her hands glowed, and her eyes were set on her charges, determination on her face. Lexi went to her brother’s side and did what she could with the wound. Cailin came in while she was dressing the wound and set about helping without a word.

  Lexi sensed the pain and anger radiating off the woman at seeing both North and Logan hurt, and she knew it mirrored her own.

  “Stupid men,” Lexi whispered, her throat constricting.

  “After they’re healed, we’ll yell together,” Cailin mumbled back, and Lexi closed her eyes, knowing she wasn’t alone in her agony.

  What seemed like hours passed, but Lexi wasn’t sure how long exactly. Before she knew it though, she was sitting on a chair beside the bed where she’d been lying that morning. Only this time, North was the one unconscious, and she was the one praying to the moon goddess that her mate would wake up soon.

  Logan had gone back to his place—her former place—with Cailin by his side. The duo hadn’t spoken a single word to each other, and Lexi was too tired to worry about what was going on between them.

  Parker had fallen asleep in his room after Pat held him and read him a story. Lexi had tried to join in but was told to go do what she had to do and to stop spreading herself so thin. After all, she’d just been brutally attacked—on purpose—and was still healing herself.

  She ran a hand over her face, unsure of what to do just then. She could go and find another family member to sit with, go try to force herself to eat, as the others had tried to do earlier, or just sit there and stare at her unconscious mate.

  She was just so…angry. What right did he have to do this? He didn’t have to go out and look for trouble. Not when trouble always seemed to find him and his family. He’d gone out there because he wanted to protect her, she knew that, but she didn’t like it. Didn’t understand it.

  It pissed her off to no end that he thought his life was worth less than hers…less than anyone else’s in the Pack.

  That’s what it came down to.

  He’d risked himself to try and force fate’s decree faster than she’d thought possible. So what if some hack had foretold it was North’s destiny to kill Corbin?

  So. Fucking. What.

  It wasn’t his duty to die for something that might not even happen. Fate and paths changed daily with just a new thought or action. She didn’t believe that, no matter what happened, one way was the only way.

  He didn’t have to throw himself into the fire in order to make something happen.

  She let out a breath.

  If he hadn’t done it though, he wouldn’t have been the wolf she loved.

  Damn it.

  The man risked everything for those he loved, and this act was no different. The fact that Logan had gone with him didn’t change things. Her brother was the same as North in that they protected what was theirs.

  They just didn’t protect themselves as much as they should.

  Lexi clenched her hands and tried to take a deep breath. If it weren’t for Parker, she’d probably have done the same thing herself, and it killed her to admit that. As a whole, the Pack had been on the defensive against the Centrals for far too long, and they knew it. With each strike, they won what they could and held strong. However, the time would come when the Redwoods would need to go on the offensive.

  They just needed to make sure they had the magic and power to back it up.

  With the demon in control like he was, Lexi wasn’t sure that would happen any time soon.

  “Still sleeping the day away?” Edward asked as he walked in the room.

  Lexi gave a small smile and gestured toward the empty chair next to her. “Sit. You’re healing just like the rest of us.” She winced at her tone and lowered her gaze.

  The Alpha chuckled then sat next to her, patting her knee. “You’re fine, Lexi. You know you’re family when you tell me to take care of my health.” He rubbed the part of his chest where the bullet had hit, and she bit her lip, not knowing what to say.

  She looked over his features, already knowing North looked more like his mother in some respects than his father but still looking for similarities. Her mate had his mother’s light hair, but he had his father’s build and eyes. Right now, the Alpha’s jade-green eyes studied her, and she wasn’t sure what he saw.

  The man looked the same age as all of them, but she knew it was only because of their wolves. He also had more power in his pinky that she did in her whole body. That thought made her relax. Even though she couldn’t feel her wolf, she was connected enough that knowing her Alpha would be there let her feel safe…protected.

  “He’ll be okay, you know,” Edward said quietly, his gaze returning to his son. “He’s always been like this. Quiet and steady until something needs done, and then he surprises us all.” He held out his hand, as if knowing Lexi needed the comfort.

  Lexi took the offered hand and squeezed. “What was he like as a boy?” she asked, needing to think about something else other than the fact that her mate might never wake up, despite Hannah’s assurances.

  Demon’s magic wasn’t something to mess with, and, frankly, no one really knew the side effects of it.

  “He hasn’t changed much, actually. He was quieter than most of his brothers, though not as quiet as Maddox. Being the Omega always took its toll on him, even before he had the powers fully. North, though, was the baby for decades.” He cracked a smile. “That is until Cailin came along.”

  “She’s a lot younger than the rest of them, right?”

  Edward nodded. “Maddox and North were seventy-three when we had Cailin.”

  “Wow, I knew there was a gap, but I hadn’t realized it was that much for some reason.”

  “We’d had the boys right after one another because we were growing a family and wanted to keep them similar ages. As wolves, we can have children with our mates for hundreds of years, so the age gaps can be tremendous. Pat and I hadn’t wanted that. We were fine with just boys, though I know Pat wanted a little girl, even if she never said it.”

 
“She wouldn’t have. She loves what she has. She’s just that kind of person.”

  The Alpha’s eyes glinted. “That she is. It wasn’t until, ironically, she met Hannah’s mother that she wanted to try again for a little girl. Pat had seen Hannah as a newborn, and her baby clock went off again.”

  Lexi’s eyes widened. “Wow. What a small world.”

  “Indeed,” he said with a nod. “Fate works in mysterious ways.”

  Lexi didn’t really want to hear about fate right then, considering it had kicked her over and over again with each passing day.

  “North, Maddox, and Cailin always had a special connection. Yes, Kade, Jasper, Adam, and Reed did as well, but I think the twins thought since they were the closest in age, even if it was by seventy-two years, they were the ones who should protect her. Maddox needed her because he needed someone to vent with or just feel. I think he just wanted someone that was different enough from him and knew that Cailin would need that outlet as well. He doesn’t think I know, but I do. I know more than they think.”

  “I know you do,” she whispered.

  He squeezed her hand. “North…North I think protected her because he didn’t know who else to protect. Kade was the Heir and knew his place. Same with Jasper as the Beta and Adam the Enforcer. Reed, I know, felt like he needed to do something since he didn’t have a title so went off on his own. North? North needed to protect, even if he didn’t have the powers to do so. His wolf has always been closer to the surface, so I think becoming a doctor was good for him…and his wolf.”

  Lexi’s brows rose. “You knew about his wolf?”

  “Of course I did. Just because I never talked with him about it doesn’t mean I didn’t know. I think, if we had sat down and discussed the fact that his wolf is so close, then he would have felt like something was wrong. Though now that I see how much he puts himself out there for those he loves, I don’t know if that was the right decision.” He met Lexi’s eyes, and for the first time, she thought the Alpha looked tired. “I just hope I didn’t do wrong by my boy.”

  Lexi shook her head. “I don’t think anything you could have said would have made North feel or think any differently than he always had. He…he tries to do what he thinks is right, even if he hurts himself.” She swallowed hard. “I don’t like that part. You know? I don’t want to lose him because he thinks he’s not worth saving. Or that he values other people’s lives above his own.”

  Edward met her gaze. “I think he could say the same about you, my dear.”

  She froze, hearing the words but not making any sense of them. “What?” she whispered.

  “You were ready to sacrifice yourself to us. That’s something I’ll ignore for now. I’m going to try to imagine that you wouldn’t think I’d kill you and your family, our family now, without just cause. You were ready to sacrifice yourself because you didn’t want to lie to North anymore about who you were and why Joseph had banished you from the Talons. You’ve always done everything you could to provide a home and safety for your son, even though I know it couldn’t have been easy. Lexi, darling, you and North are more alike than you think.”

  “I don’t want to lose him.” Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes, done with the tears that seemed to have taken over her recently.

  “Then don’t. Find a way to fight together. That’s all we can do. Going in on your own will only get you killed.” He looked past her. “Right, son?”

  She turned to see her mate staring at her from the bed. “North! How long have you been awake?” She got up and gripped his hands, loving the way he gripped hers right back.

  “Long enough to know I love you.”

  “With that, I’ll leave the two of you alone.” Edward stood beside her, and she smiled up at him.

  “Thanks for sitting with me.”

  “I’d say anytime, but I’m not in the mood to have any more of my children on their sickbeds.” He narrowed his eyes at his son. “Do I make myself clear, boy? You have a mate and child now. You aren’t free to play with your life and fate. You can’t put yourself at risk anymore, not when you have so much to live for.”

  “So says the man who took a bullet to protect his mate.”

  Edward snorted. “You’re not supposed to take my actions and make them your own. Find a way to save the world without dying.”

  North rolled his eyes, and Lexi held back a smile. It was odd to want to smile when the man she loved was in pain, but sometimes she had to take what she could get.

  “Don’t make it sound so dramatic,” North said softly.

  Edward growled, and Lexi joined in. “Dramatic?” the Alpha said quietly, too quietly. “You went to the neutral zone with another member of your Pack and almost died because you were outnumbered.”

  “That wasn’t the reason. Caym was the reason. Logan and I would have beaten them all—and had—until Caym showed up.”

  “Don’t defend your actions to me, boy. The demon did show up, and you did almost die. If you hadn’t done it because of a prophecy and to save the Pack, I’d beat you right now…or even call a circle. As it stands, you didn’t go against orders and didn’t endanger anyone who didn’t make their own decision. You’re lucky, North. Damn fucking lucky.”

  With that, Edward strode out of the room, leaving anger in his wake.

  “Well crap,” North whispered.

  “Oh, we’re not done yet.” She turned to him and placed her hands on her hips.

  “I take it by your stance you’re not here to nurse me back to health?” North teased.

  “Shut up, North Jamenson. You almost died and didn’t tell me you were going off gallivanting in the first place.”

  His face fell, and he reached out for her. “Lexi—”

  “No. You don’t get to talk yet. I’m so fucking angry you took that chance. If Logan hadn’t brought you in when he did, we would have lost you.”

  His eyes widened. “Crap. Where is Logan? Is he okay?”

  Her heart warmed a bit that he worried about her brother, but she put it away. She needed the anger to protect herself, to protect them. “He’s fine. Cailin and I patched him up. He’s now with your sister, and she’s taking care of him.” His eyes narrowed. “Stop it. No. You don’t get to worry about her virtue or act like the big brother right now. You almost died, meaning you would have left Cailin one less brother in the world. You lost the right to act overprotective when you acted like an idiot.”

  “Hey now.” His eyes grew gold. “I went out there because Corbin needs to die and because it’s my place to do it. I wasn’t going to sit back and twiddle my thumbs while we wait for the elders and others to maybe figure out how we’re supposed to beat a demon who can’t be beaten.”

  “You didn’t tell us you were going!” she yelled, knowing she was more scared than anything.

  “I told Maddox,” he countered.

  “Yeah, and I already yelled at him. You didn’t tell me. I woke up, and you kissed me, and then you left. You left us. Parker and I finally let you into our hearts, and you left us.” Tears she didn’t realize she’d been holding back fell down her cheeks, and her chest lurched. “You left us.”

  North tried to sit up but winced. He held out his hand, and she went to him, curling into his side, needing him more than she needed to hold on to her anger.

  His hands went down her back, and she cried into him. “I needed to do this for us, for our family, for our Pack. I’d do it again, Lexi.” She stiffened. “But I should have told you I was going. That was selfish of me.”

  “Yes, yes it was.” He kissed her brow, and she softened.

  “How bad is it?” he asked after he’d held her for a few minutes.

  “You should be fine according to Hannah. Though we don’t really know everything that happened, other than what Logan told us.” She paused and licked her lips. “You’ll have scars on your back from where your…where your body twisted awkwardly and broke the skin.”

  She felt North twitch under her. “I rem
ember that part,” he said roughly. “At least I’ll look more like my twin now.”

  She smacked his chest softly, knowing he was still healing. “Don’t joke about that.” Maddox had made a similar joke, forcing Ellie to hit him as well, but Lexi wasn’t going to comment on that.

  “I’m sorry, Lex.”

  “You should be, but I’m glad you’re okay.”

  He let out a breath. “I don’t know how we’re going to beat Caym.”

  She closed her eyes, not wanting to think about the outside world, if only for a moment. “I don’t know either,” she whispered.

  The war had come and raged, yet she wasn’t sure they had the strength and ability to fight what fate and the enemy had laid out for them. The Redwoods were fighting a war they could lose.

  And Lexi wasn’t sure what she should do.

  What she could do.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Maybe I should just stay inside this time.” Lexi leaned her head against the window, closing her eyes.

  North walked up behind and pulled her close, her back against his chest. “You need the moon on your skin, Lex. Everything will work out.”

  They hoped.

  “What if it doesn’t work?” she whispered. What if she’d gone through all that pain, all that agony, and she still couldn’t connect with her wolf?

  He kissed her brow, and she settled closer, needing his touch. “Then we deal.”

  “Then we deal.” She sucked in a breath. “Parker is with Maddox, Ellie, and Charlotte, right?” She hadn’t wanted her son there in case something went terribly wrong when she tried to shift.

  She already knew something was different this full moon. Her skin felt tight, itchy, like she needed to jump out of it. North had told her that’s how all wolves felt on the full moon if they hadn’t shifted in a long time. She just hoped that she had a wolf to turn into once she tried to shift.

  If not…

  Well, that could get messy.

  “Parker is with my brother and his family. He’ll shift and hunt with them. It’s just you and me tonight because that’s the way you wanted it.”