A Little Bit of Crazy (Little Bits)

by A. E. Murphy

  “You’ve been acting weird. Guilty even.”

  I smile reassuringly at him and kiss his lips, “Babe. I’m in too much pain to have sex and if I’m going to have an affair it would be with little James.”

  He doesn’t look reassured at all. I plan to reassure him properly when we get home. For now I straddle his lap, bring his hands to my ass and kiss him with all the love in the world. He relaxes and holds me close. “I don’t want to lose you,” he murmurs. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to hear him or not so I stay quiet and kiss him again as we wait for the car to arrive.

  “I got you something,” Sylvia grins as James seats me like a true gentleman. “I already ordered for you both by the way.”

  “Gimme the gift Sylvie,” I joke, flexing my hands out in front of me.

  “Can you not be gracious or mature about anything?” I can tell she’s playing so I ignore her statement and hold out my hands like a child. Rolling her eyes she hands me a paper bag. I open it and pull out… baby boots, a white baby blanket, a white cardigan and a little white hat.

  “Mom,” James hisses as I stare at the tiny fabrics. I can hear the humor in his voice.

  Sylvia is beaming with pride, “I couldn’t resist.”

  I shove the baby stuff in the bag and sigh. “Ok, I’ll cut you both a deal. If you stop bugging me about this baby thing I’ll come off contraception in six months. That will give us time to go on a decent honeymoon, set up the office so we have more time at home and find someone to take over from me so I can have decent maternity leave.”

  They both stare at me with wide eyes and gaping mouths. A huge smile spreads across James’ face. “You mean it? In six months?”

  “Yes.”

  “I fucking love you,” he laughs and presses his lips to mine. “That good with you mom?”

  I look up at Sylvia and gasp at the sight of tears in her eyes. She waves us off and nods, looking straight down at her plate. “I’ve never had a newborn baby in the family. With me not being able to conceive and my sister was the same. And my nephew being gay and now living in England.” She looks up at me. “Thank you Maya. I’ll be able to enjoy grandkids without being too old to move.”

  “I can’t believe in a year and a half I could be a father,” he grins and looks up to the ceiling. “Definitely got the long straw.”

  “Ok, change of subject,” I laugh and sip my cranberry and vodka. “So, when am I to be forced to the next lunch?”

  Fortunately there isn’t another lunch for two weeks. Sylvia rolls her eyes when I do a victory fist pump and James asks why I hate the lunches so much. Mine and my mother in laws expressions match at his ridiculous question. We explain to him with cocked eyebrows how it’s a bunch of self-righteous old ladies who think being gay, black or not of their money league are an abomination to society. Some of them are nice but the rest are prissy twits.

  By the end of the night Sylvia has me howling with laughter, regaling me with tales on James and his antics as a boy. I asked her why she adopted him as a child and not a baby. I was worried my question would offend her but she just smiled and replied, “At first I wanted a baby, who doesn’t? But I fell in love with him the first moment I laid eyes on him. So did his father. I believe he was sat in the corner sulking because he genuinely didn’t believe any of the people were going to adopt him. It was heart breaking. Best decision of my life.”

  I squeeze James’ hand and Sylvia’s such a wonderful moment to be a part of. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this. Such a sweet moment between mother and son.

  When we arrive home I lay in bed in a pink silk chemise watching my gorgeous hubby hop around the room trying to pull off his shoe. He’s beautiful. Every inch of him is mine and I plan to explore it when I’m better.

  “Are we really going to try for a baby after six months?” James asks as I snuggle into his chest.

  “We aren’t going to try, we’re just going to let nature take its course. I’m not going to go mad and start checking my ovulation days. We’ll just pull the goalie and see what happens,” I mumble through my sleepy haze. “Now go to sleep.”

  My phone is ringing over and over again. I sit bolt upright in the dark and quickly pick it up. It’s just gone midnight, who the hell is calling at this time?

  “Hello?” I whisper, checking James. Luckily he’s still fast asleep.

  “Maya.” Lucas’ relieved voice sounds over the speaker.

  “Hey. Just a second,” I whisper and dash silently out of the bedroom. “What’s wrong?”

  “You know you said I could call you if I ever needed anything,” his voice breaks, I hear the wind crash against the phone speaker.

  “Daddy I’m cold,” Amelie whimpers in the background.

  “Of course,” I say suddenly on edge. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

  I’m slotting my shoes on and my coat on as I talk. I grab my car keys and dash out of the door without looking back.

  “We’ve uh. We’ve been evicted and there’s nowhere that will take us in. I thought we’d find somewhere by now but no one will help and…” he lets out a little sob and a shuddery breath.

  “I’m on my way,” I say and dash out of the elevator and into the cold night. “Where are you?”

  “We’re outside Walmart. Near my house.”

  I hang up and break all traffic laws as I drive through the city. The roads are relatively clear fortunately so I pull up outside Walmart in no time at all. I see Amelia and Lucas huddled up by the doors. Two suitcases by his feet.

  “Hey,” I say as I climb out. “Give her to me. Put the cases in the boot.”

  He hands me Amelia who is shivering and crying silently. Her little legs wrap around my waist and her arms grip my neck. I sit her in the back and wrap her in a picnic blanket before buckling her in.

  “You guys hungry?” I say and turn the heating up as he climbs into the passenger side.

  “No, we’ve just eaten. Thanks Maya.” He holds his hands over the heater looking solemn and defeated.

  “What time did you get evicted? Surely they wouldn’t just throw you out now.” If they did they better pray they have a decent lawyer.

  “No, they kicked us this morning but…”

  I hold up my hand to stop him. I’m angry, furious in fact. I turn to him before starting the car. “It’s the middle of the night.”

  “I know, we are desperate,” he completely misunderstands what I’m saying.

  “No,” I say and slam my hand on the steering wheel. “I mean why didn’t you call me sooner dammit? I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night I care that your pride kept you from calling the one person you know has enough money to help. I thought we were friends?”

  “I…”

  “I nothing, I don’t want to hear your excuses Lucas. Don’t ever, and I mean ever feel shit for asking me for anything. I spend six hundred dollars on wine. I spend seventy grand on a bottle of whiskey for crying out loud. I should have been the first person you called!”

  “I hardly know you!” he shouts back clearly agitated as well. “I can’t just ask…”

  “As opposed to the people you do know… great load of help a bunch of non-strangers are ey?” Calm down, deep breaths. How could he be so damn careless? I want to scratch him. Or shove a pie in his face.

  “I know, I’m sorry. Amelia,” he lets out a little laugh and rubs his face in his hands as I pull out onto the street. “She told me to call you. When they took our car as payment.” He touches my hand on the console, gripping it tight. “Do you believe in fate?”

  “Nope.” Maybe.

  “I just think it’s odd, the same week I get my final notice is the same week you show up at our door. It can’t be coincidence.”

  “Whatever it is I’m glad I’m here Lucas. Even if we’re not family. I may not be the most caring of people but I’m generous. If there’s a way I can help I will, I’m just a bitch about it.”

  “Please Shove us in a motel for a few n
ights. It should be long enough for me to find something,” he says quietly. “I promise I’ll repay you somehow.”

  A bulb goes off in my mind and I smile at him in the dark, “What was it you were saying about fate?”

  “Why?”

  “Well, I have something better for you. Something way better.”

  “Hey Stephan,” I say to the guard in the lobby of my old building.

  “Mrs. Freeman,” he smiles and presses the elevator button for me. He looks curiously at Lucas and Amelia but says nothing. Thankfully.

  “Where are we going?” Amelia asks.

  I grin and press the button for the tenth floor, “It seems I may believe in fate because I have a very nice apartment that happens to be furnished and empty.”

  “Are you sure?” Lucas asks as we step out and I pull the key out and slot it into the lock. I nod and beckon for them to follow me into the dark hall.

  “I just have to switch the mains on. The gas and electric is paid for. Unfortunately there’s no food in. I’ll hire you a car for the day tomorrow,” I say and grunt as I reach into the deep cupboard and fumble for the little plastic switch. “Let there be light.” I scramble out and turn on the light in the hall. “There are two bedrooms, two bathrooms, living room, dining room, kitchen, etc. Come here,” I show him how to work the lights, the blinds, the heating and such. “I have to go. If James wakes up…”

  Before I can finish my sentence strong warm arms envelope me. I return the hug and grip him tight. “Thank you. So much,” he murmurs into my hair. “Are you sure this is ok?”

  “Stop asking,” I laugh. “Just don’t answer the phone, you can use it, but don’t answer it. Ok. I’ll be back tomorrow at some point.” I fumble through my bag, grab the cash from my purse and throw it on my coffee table. “A car will be here at seven thirty tomorrow morning. Take the kid for breakfast, get her to school, use this to get some food and call me if you need anything.”

  I don’t wait for his answer as I’m out in the middle of the night and James is probably awake and freaking out. My phone’s about to die so I send a quick text to the car company we use regularly and shut it off. There are no missed calls or texts, I just pray he’s sleeping.

  I enter the apartment and am relieved to see it’s still dark. I slide out of my coat and head to the bedroom as quietly as possible. My breath sounds like a foghorn as I enter and step to the bed. James is on his stomach, a light snoring sound coming from him. I smile and slide under the covers beside him.

  He turns over and wraps me in his arms tight. “Where’ve you been?” he asks and I instantly tense.

  “Marie, her car broke down again,” I lie but my voice remains strong. “She was completely stuck. I thought I could get there and back without you noticing I’m sorry.”

  “So if I call Marie and ask her she’ll confirm?” he says and rests his head on my breasts. Accusation clearly in his tone.

  I nod, “Yes. Of course.” Marie knows to use this, we’ve always planned ahead in case something like this happens. I won’t even have to remind her most likely.

  “So tell me why you stink of men’s aftershave,” he growls and pushes away from me. One of his arms goes over his eyes as he lays on his back. “And don’t deny it.”

  “I am not cheating on you!” I half shout and turn over. “I swear. If you don’t trust me then more fool you.”

  “You stink of cheap aftershave Maya,” he snaps. “You sneak off in the middle of the fucking night, you turn your phone off and you say you was with Marie.”

  “I was with Marie, I have no idea why you think I stink. I’m sorry, but what I’m saying is true ok, just trust me.”

  “You promise? On my life?”

  I cup his face in my hands, “I promise baby. On your life, on my life on Marie’s life I am not having sex with somebody else.”

  I realize I may have to tell him the truth soon. Once those doubts are in your head they only escalate. If he gets worse I will tell him, I just hope he trusts me for a little longer. Can you imagine how happy he’ll be when the results come through? Christ I pray for this one thing. More than anything I want to reunite James with his long lost brother. Please Lord, do me this one favor.

  “I love you, I will never hurt you like that.” I whisper and show him just how much he means to me.

  “I called Marie. I wish I’d never doubted you,” James announces and pulls me into his arms. “I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

  “It’s my fault baby, I should have told you. I promise I won’t sneak off again without telling you first.”

  He smiles and presses his mouth to mine, “So, how about we spend the day in bed? What do you think?”

  “Sounds great baby but I need to go out soon. Take Marie to buy a new car. She’s far too attached to that hunk of junk.”

  “It’s the last thing she has of her dads.”

  “So, she should put it in a garage or something and look at it every so often. I’m worried about her safety. Do you mind if I go?”

  “We’ll go together, you know me, and I’m great at haggling.”

  I turn and wince. Dammit, dammit, dammit. “Do you have to? I’ll only be an hour or two. We’re always together.”

  “Fine,” he says looking wounded. “I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.”

  Way to get us cut off bitch…

  Shut up. Stupid Libido.

  You miss me?

  Ignoring you.

  “Don’t be like that baby. You’ve got me all day apart from those two hours. We’re supposed to be taking this slow and easy remember. Don’t smother me,” I say softly and reach for him but he pulls away. “Baby please.”

  “Forget it Maya,” he growls and stomps from the room, hurt evident on his face. “I’m going to work. I don’t want to smother you.”

  “Dammit James!” I shout and chase after him. “Don’t be like that. I never complain when you go out and do what you want. Do I? I promise I won’t be long.”

  He nods but says nothing as he walks away. I dash into the closet, grab my bag containing the DNA test and the makeup and head to my car without saying bye. Christ my man is being so difficult at the moment. Not that I can blame him. We need to have a talk about trust though.

  I dash into the elevator and knock on my apartment door. Its weird knocking on a door you own.

  “Hey,” Lucas answers with a beaming smile and pulls me into the apartment. “Everything ok?”

  I nod and sit on the couch that’s so familiar to me. “I come baring gifts for the little princess. My company just authorized a new product. Its kids play makeup, totally organic and wipes off easily. I brought Amelia a bag. You can say it’s from you.” I hand him the pink pack full of different eye shadows, blush and lip-gloss. “It doesn’t stain either its all water dissolvable and completely safe for her skin.”

  He smiles and sits beside me, “Thanks. I trust you on this stuff. I googled you this morning on the awesome computer in the study. I now know you are a chemistry genius. You turned one million into billions in a few years whilst in university. You speak four languages, you party hard, you work hard, you got married four months ago. Speculation say it was an arranged marriage…” I put my hand over his mouth and frown playfully, “You could just ask me.”

  “Right, but I know everything now, you have your own damn Wikipedia page,” he laughs and picks up the newspaper. I notice how he’s circled a few small boxes in the jobs section. “Know anywhere that’s hiring joiners?”

  I shrug, “I know a lot of people. Is that the job you want?”

  “I honestly don’t mind, I just need a job to pay the bills.”

  “Ok, I’ll ask around,” I smile. “When I get chance I’ll open up an account for you. It won’t be today as James is…”

  “He know you left last night?”

  My shoulders sag, “He doesn’t trust me. He’s loved me since way before our engagement apparently. I treat him bad, put doubts in his mind. He knew I never l
oved him and now that I do he doesn’t believe me. He thinks I’m going to cheat on him and I’m feeding to his paranoia.”

  “Why don’t we just tell him? It’s probably better than being paranoid.”

  I nod, “That’s what I’m going to do if he asks me again. I’ll just tell him. I just really want to surprise him you know? It’ll be so great, he really misses you.”

  I pull the DNA testing kit out and open the first rectangular envelope with swabs inside. I take them out of their plastic case and turn back to him. “Open up,” I grin. I place my hand on his cheek to balance myself as he opens his mouth. I rub the swab roughly on his cheeks and gums, his minty breath fans across my face. “One more,” I say and do the other one quickly.

  I scribble his name, age and phone number on the front of the envelope and tuck it back in my bag. “I better go,” I say and grab my bag. “Remember, call me.” I throw another wad of cash on the table. “It’s not charity!” I shout over his protests and shut the door behind me.

  “James!” I scream as he slams into me over the table. There’s nothing gentle about our sex at the moment. Every night since he accused me of cheating he has pounded into me. It’s like he’s punishing me, but then he acts like nothing is wrong, he’s his normal attentive self once again. “I love you,” I cry out as he sags on top of me. This entire situation is worrying me. I don’t know how to handle it and Jessica doesn’t know the half of it so her advice isn’t great. Marie just tells me to get a divorce…

  I’m panicking a little. I want to tell him. Yet he’s saying he’s fine but his sex says otherwise.

  “I love you too baby,” he whispers in my ear and cradles me to his chest. “So damn much it hurts.”

  “We’re going to be late for work,” I giggle and clean myself up.

  I managed to get a few swabs out of his mouth the same night as I did Lucas’. He slept through it, it was nerve wracking but now we’re just waiting on the results. I’ve been to see Lucas and Amelia every day since. And every day the kid has been covered in makeup. Lucas is just happy to see her happy.