by Deb Kastner
“Yep.” His gaze narrowed even more.
Well, that was helpful. Tessa tried again.
“You’ve been discharged from the navy?”
He frowned and jammed his fists into the front pockets of his worn blue jeans. “Yep.”
She was beyond frustrated at his cold reception, but she supposed she had it coming. She could hardly expect better when the last time they’d seen each other was—
Well, there was no use dwelling on the past. If Cole was going to work here with her, he would have to get over it.
So, for that matter, would she.
She’d always known there was the possibility Cole would return to Serendipity, but he’d made the navy his career, and she’d assumed that by the time they finally met again, they would both have moved on, would have had spouses and children. He must have returned to Serendipity a few times over the years to visit his family, but he’d obviously gone to great lengths to stay off her radar.
The fact that she hadn’t been able to connect with any other man long-term was irrelevant—as was the way her heart had skidded the moment her eyes met Cole’s.
“I was given to believe you were making a career out of the military,” she said, alluding to the question she wanted to ask without really putting it out there.
“I was.” His brow lowered. There was that tic in his jaw again, the period at the end of his sentence. Clearly he didn’t want to talk to her about himself or the navy, but the questions lingered in her mind.
Why hadn’t he reenlisted at the end of this particular tour of duty? Why had he left the service before he had enough years to draw a pension? What had changed?
She had no right to ask.
But this standoff, or whatever it was, just wasn’t going to work for them. Even if they walked away today without resolving anything, there would be tomorrow—and the next day, and the day after that. Did he not realize they would be interacting with each other on a frequent basis during each of the Mission Months?
“You do know we have to work together?” She couldn’t help it if her question sounded acerbic.
He shrugged. “I don’t see why. You’re not a wrangler.”
It wasn’t a question, exactly, but at least he was talking, so she decided to answer, anyway. “No. No, I’m not. I’m a counselor, actually.”
“A what?”
“Redemption Ranch isn’t exactly a cattle operation. Well, there is plenty of stock to care for, as I’m sure you’ve seen, but there’s much more going on around here than that. Alexis brings in youth who’ve gotten into minor trouble with the law. Instead of community service cleaning trash off the highways, they come here to learn honest work and real love.”
Those words sounded wonderful and positive in theory. If only they worked out so well in practice—but they didn’t. Not always. She would have liked to think she made a difference in the girls’ lives, but sometimes everything she gave just wasn’t enough.
“Juvenile delinquents?”
Tessa chuckled. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“I don’t get it.” He shoved his fingers through his thick blond hair and shook his head. “I thought you wanted to be a lawyer.”
“Daddy wanted me to be a lawyer.” That was a topic for a different discussion, and she wasn’t going to get into that with him now. “When I went to college, I discovered my real interest lay in psychology. I received my master’s degree and then returned to Serendipity to work here at Redemption Ranch.”
“Why?”
“Why did I choose psychology?”
“Why did you come back to Serendipity?”
“I never intended to leave Serendipity in the first place. I thought you knew that.”
His eyes clouded with confusion but quickly froze to an ice blue.
“You were the one who wanted to leave,” she pointed out. She hadn’t realized that at the time, when they were dating as teenagers. She should have seen the signs, but didn’t, hadn’t heard what he was trying to tell her. Cole had thought the navy would be a way of escaping what, to a restless teenage boy, must have seemed like a dull and dreary existence. The polar opposite of what her heart ached for. As an army brat who’d never known a sense of community before she and her father had landed in Serendipity, Tessa had been, and still was, on the totally opposite end of that spectrum. She loved what Serendipity offered.
Just as she hadn’t realized the depth of his desire to leave, Cole hadn’t recognized her need for stability in her life—something the military couldn’t offer. He’d wanted to take her with him on his worldwide adventure. Planned to take her with him, in fact. As his wife.
Wow, had they ever gotten their wires crossed. Talk about a serious lack of communication.
But back then, they’d both been immature teenagers with their heads in the clouds, floating along on the wings of love. Now their feet were on solid, unforgiving ground, anchored there by the weight of reality.
“Still seems to me it won’t be hard to avoid each other,” he said, his voice gravelly.
Especially if we’re trying.
It was what he’d left unspoken that stung her emotions like the crack of a whip. Well, he didn’t need to get so personal. And he was still laboring under a mistaken impression about how often they would have to be in each other’s company.
“I take it Alexis hasn’t run down your job description with you yet. She hasn’t shared the particulars of what the wranglers are expected to do here?”
He scoffed. “We were interrupted before we could finish our conversation,” he reminded her with a bite to his tone. “Anyway, what’s to know? I’ve been riding and roping since before I could walk. Not like I need on-the-job training or anything.”
“Yes, but—” She started to tell him that the wrangling he’d be doing at Redemption Ranch had much more to do with the teenagers than it did with the cattle, but it wasn’t really her place to inform him of his official job description.
Who knew? Maybe Alexis had something different in mind for Cole—something that wouldn’t require them to suffer through the perpetual awkwardness Tessa knew would remain between them.
“Well, I won’t keep you,” she said, reaching back to open the office door. “I just wanted to make sure we had an understanding about how our professional relationship here at the ranch was going to go.”
He scowled at the word relationship and slammed his dark brown Stetson on his head.
“Just came as a surprise, is all,” he muttered.
“I’ll say,” Tessa agreed.
“Didn’t expect to be back in Serendipity for a few years yet. Maybe ever.”
He sounded so bitter that Tessa cringed. What had happened to the boy she’d once known? Who or what had darkened the sunshine that had once shone so brilliantly in his eyes?
“Cole? Why did you come back now?” She knew she was taking a mighty big risk asking such a personal question, but it seemed to her that he’d been the one to open the door to the subject. She held her breath and waited for an answer.
He tipped his hat and started to walk past her without speaking, and Tessa thought she’d pushed him too far. Whatever his issues were, they were his business, and clearly she was the last person on earth he’d talk to about them even if he was inclined to share.
He was almost out the door when he suddenly swiveled around to face her.
“Grayson.” His gaze narrowed on her as if weighing the effect of his words on her.
She scrambled to put his answer in some kind of context but came up with nothing.
“Who—”
He cut off her question and ground out the rest of his answer.
“My son.”
Chapter Two
Yesterday at the Haddons’ office, after throwing the curveball that
emotionally knocked Tessa right off the mound, Cole had walked away without another word.
She walked down the row of pinewood beds within the girls’ dorm, absently making small corrections to the square corners of the sheets as she went. The room was silent and empty now, but tomorrow morning it would be filled with the chitter-chattering of adolescent females, none of them happy about being pawned off into Tessa’s care. At least, at first they wouldn’t be. Tessa’s experience was that the young ladies under her supervision eventually adapted, and she liked to think they left Redemption Ranch better people than when they first arrived.
Now that it was morning, she was bone-weary from lack of sleep and from fighting all the emotions stirred up by Cole’s unexpected pronouncement.
Cole had a son?
Probably a wife as well, although he hadn’t mentioned her.
He had a family.
She let the thought sink in, rest for a moment deep in her chest until her breath evened out.
Why had his news taken her so very much by surprise? It shouldn’t have, and she was a little ashamed by her lack of forethought and her response. Just because she was single and unattached didn’t mean Cole wouldn’t have found someone to settle down and share his life with. That the thought hadn’t even occurred to her at the time explained why she’d been shaken up.
She needed to get her head together. Her newest young charges were arriving for their Mission Month tomorrow, and she had to make sure everything was ready for them. A stab of pain and regret sliced through her gut. She prayed every day that she’d make a real difference in the teenage girls’ lives, but no matter how hard she tried, no matter what she did, it wasn’t always enough. Her mind strayed for a brief moment to Savannah, a girl who’d visited the ranch last summer. Savannah had shown a great deal of promise during her stay. Her attitude, once bitter and angry, melted under Tessa’s tender love and direction. By the time Savannah left, Tessa was certain she was destined for a better future.
She’d been wrong. Shortly after leaving Redemption Ranch, Savannah had become pregnant, and her parents had thrown her out on the street. Tessa had lost track of her then. She didn’t know what had happened to Savannah or her precious baby.
Being the female counselor at the ranch, Tessa was responsible for her teenage girls nearly twenty-four-seven during what the Haddons termed their Mission Months. Ten months a year with little breathing space between groups of kids. It was a hard position to be in and a heavy load to carry, yet Tessa’s heart was completely in her work. She softly whispered another prayer for the six young ladies who’d soon be arriving, asking that this time she’d reach them all.
She groaned and pushed her hair off her forehead with the palm of her hand. If only it were so easy to push the melancholy thoughts from her mind.
Focus.
The humidity was even higher than usual today, and her long, thick locks were unwieldy on the best of days. As a youngster she’d been teased about her frizzy red mop, and she’d always been self-conscious about her hair—until a blue-eyed boy with a smile that could melt glaciers came into her life and made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, both inside and out.
When Cole had first coined the nickname Red, he had made it sound like the best kind of compliment, his own special name for her, said with the utmost affection. She hadn’t dreamed such love existed—at least not for her. Even as a boy, Cole had changed everything for her.
But yesterday when she’d wandered into the Haddons’ office with her mind on the incoming teenagers, she’d discovered that boy had become a man.
And Red?
Uttered from his frowning lips and tight jaw, the word no longer sounded like a compliment.
Cole was hardly recognizable from the youth he’d once been. He’d sprung up several more inches in height. His shoulders had broadened and his voice had deepened. His skin was weathered. He was clearly a man who spent his time outdoors.
But it wasn’t so much the physical changes that had shocked her most. It was his attitude, his bitterness, the ice in his gaze. While it felt as if his emotions were gathered in his eyes and flung right at her, she knew he couldn’t possibly still be carrying that big a grudge against her. Yes, she’d hurt him. She would be the first to admit that. But too many years had passed since then. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was...something else. What had happened to him that had put such a big chip on his shoulder?
Whatever it was, it wasn’t any of her business. He had a family now.
She refused to acknowledge any hurt that went along with that news. Why should it bother her? Her feelings for Cole had long since been carefully packaged away, deep in the recesses of her heart. She rarely even revisited them anymore. Mostly. Except for those rare instances when loneliness overtook her and the dark of night stretched before her.
She snorted and rolled her eyes at her own foolishness. When had she become so melodramatic?
“Are you okay?” The smooth tenor voice of her friend Marcus Ender, the male counselor at the ranch, came from behind her.
Tessa hadn’t heard him come in, and she jumped in surprise.
“Don’t do that to me, you jerk,” she admonished him good-naturedly, laying a hand over her hammering heart. “And to answer your question, yes, I’m fine.”
She attempted to paste a smile on her face, but Marcus tilted his head and cocked one dark blond eyebrow.
“Now, why don’t I believe that? Come on, Tessa. I’ve known you too long for you to try to pull one over on me. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
She swallowed air and nearly choked on it. “To be entirely truthful with you, I kind of have.”
Marcus’s other brow darted up to join the first.
“Cole Bishop is in town.”
Tessa and Marcus had known each other since their undergraduate years, when they were both pursuing psychology degrees, and had been good friends ever since. He knew the whole sad story about what had happened between her and Cole and the way things had been left when they parted.
“Oh, wow,” Marcus replied with a low whistle. “Do you know how long he’s staying? Is he here on leave to visit his family?”
Her throat hitched. “No. He’s back for good. He’s got a son—a family. And the worst of it is that Alexis hired him to work at the ranch.”
“Seriously? Why would she do that? Doesn’t she know the history between you and Cole?”
“That’s the odd thing. Alexis knows exactly what happened between us. She was there when it all played out.”
Along with every other resident of Serendipity.
He shook his head. “I can’t imagine what she was thinkin’. Then again, I’ve never been very good at interpreting the female mind.” He crossed his eyes and flashed a goofy grin.
Despite everything weighing her down, Tessa laughed. Marcus always knew how to make her feel better.
“Speaking of female minds, why don’t we try to get you out of yours for a while? I’m running into town to get a few things from Emerson’s Hardware before we have the staff meeting this afternoon. You want to come along?”
She hesitated, pursing her lips. “I don’t know. I won’t be very good company.”
“What if I bribed you with one of Phoebe Hawkins’s red velvet cupcakes from Cup O’ Jo’s? Smothered in chocolate frosting?”
“A cupcake? And my favorite? You’re not playing fair.”
“When have I ever?” he tossed back with a wink.
Tessa knew he was right. She tended to overanalyze every situation, and this one was a humdinger. There were things a woman could change and things she couldn’t, and there was no sense worrying about what was out of her control. At the end of the day, the good Lord had the final say. That’s what she often told the girls she was counseling, and yet now she was
struggling to take her own advice.
Emerson’s Hardware, only a few minutes from Redemption Ranch, was located on Main Street, right next door to Cup O’ Jo’s Café. All of Main Street looked like something out of an old Western movie, with colorful clapboard siding and old-fashioned signs dangling in front of the stores.
While Marcus dawdled in the hardware section, Tessa wandered over to gardening to see what was new. Living in the girls’ bunkhouse as she did, she had neither the place nor the time for a garden, but she imagined that someday, when she had a home of her own, she’d enjoy planting vegetables and spending quiet time landscaping with flowers around the place.
When she had a home of her own.
Realistically, was that ever going to happen?
What a difference a day made, if that day meant Cole Bishop had walked back into her life. Even the thought of having a family now tore at her heart. What was once a pleasant, if distant, dream of the future had suddenly become a nightmare. She hadn’t realized until she’d seen him again that he’d still been part of her vision. His face had never been replaced by another.
Shaking her head to dislodge her sadness, she found Marcus at the register, where he was wrapping up his purchase.
Edward Emerson, an older man dressed in the same bib overalls as the two men slouched in the wooden rocking chairs just outside the door, smiled at her as she approached.
“Hey, Tessa. Good to see you. Can you do me a favor and tell Cole the feed he ordered is loaded in his truck and ready to go whenever he is?”
“I...I don’t—” she stammered, but Edward went on as if she hadn’t spoken.
“If I’m not mistaken, he’s at Cup O’ Jo’s showing off that new baby of his. Cute little tyke. Bald as a cue ball.” Edward chuckled.
Tessa inhaled sharply. Cole’s son was an infant. Her stomach churned like a combine at hearing the news, creating a whole new set of aches. Her thoughts flew together like a tornado picking up everything in its path. Thoughts that didn’t belong together but still tore through her. Her failure with Savannah was too recent, and Savannah’s baby was never far from her mind. She’d once thought she’d be the one bearing Cole’s children. But now Cole had a son of his own, and his and Tessa’s lives were completely separated.
