Twisted By Desire (Lust, Desire and Love Trilogy #1)

by Desiree A. Cox

  I ran my tongue down and across the large vein on the underside of his shaft, down across his hanging sac, being gentle as I took it in my mouth, licking my tongue hungrily around him while holding the fullness of his nuts in my mouth. I released them to drop one at a time from my lips as my mouth ran up the length of his cock to the drips of salty pre-cum leaking from his head. I licked them off, then took him deep into my mouth, bobbing up and down faster and faster.

  “Damn, are you trying to make me cum?”

  I nodded my head yes, holding him tight in the grip of my mouth.

  “I’m going to if you keep this up.” His taste and feel in my mouth had my snatch wet and eager to be fucked, but this was about him right now, not me. I spit in my hand and used it as lube to massage him.

  “Damn, baby, you are fucking hot. I can’t take it.”

  I sucked with more intensity as I leaned into him, pulling him into my mouth. He stroked into me twice, and on the third stroke moaned, “Damn it, baby.” He poured his hot fireball shot of cum down my throat as I lapped and swallowed it eagerly. I licked up and around his spent shaft, my eyes blazing with lust.

  I stood and rinsed my mouth in the sink, poured my cup of coffee, added my fixings, and took a drink. Jeff wrapped me in his arms, holding me tight to him, kissing my neck. I knew he wasn’t kissing me until I gargled and brushed my teeth.

  “Well, that’s one thing off the to-do list.” I chuckled.

  “For now, you beautiful wench. That wasn’t exactly the plan, but we have the rest of the day, and I owe you now.”

  “I may have to take a rain check after last night. I’m kind of sore today.”

  “You can recover while I’m out of town.”

  “Okay, then.” I opened the refrigerator to find something for breakfast. “What would you like; scrambled eggs, an omelet, or pancakes?”

  “Four scrambled egg whites and toast, no butter.”

  “One boring breakfast coming up.”

  We finished eating our breakfast, and I cleaned the kitchen, then decided it was time to dive into the wedding budget conversation. It went well. When I told him I had about thirty-five hundred dollars saved up, he told me to use that for my dress. He would take care of everything else. I decided I would try to make sure it wasn’t some ridiculous, exorbitant amount of money he had to fork over.

  I thought we were done talking, but Jeff caught me by surprise. He left the kitchen, jogged up the stairs, and returned with some papers in his hand.

  “We need to talk about this.”

  My heart sank. My chest tightened, and my stomach knotted. What had he done, spied on me again; dug up something from my past? I felt nervous just thinking what he might have in his hand. “What is that?” My voiced trembled.

  “This, my dear, is a pre-nuptial agreement.”

  Erase my previous feelings; they were replaced by hurt and anger. I crossed my arms over my chest and took in a deep breath. “Okay, and…?” My reply came out every bit as snippy as I meant it to.

  “And before we get married, I’d like you to read and sign it. You do know what a pre-nup is, right?” He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

  “Of course I know what it is.”

  “Then you shouldn’t be surprised that I’m asking you to sign it.”

  “I guess I’m surprised because you’re not a mega millionaire or some shit like that. I don’t want your fucking money, Jeff.”

  “Then that makes it easier to just sign the damn thing and be done with it.”

  “I think you’ve got a lot of nerve asking me to sign it.”

  “Why? Because I want to protect the fucking shit I’ve busted my ass working for?” His face reddened, and he put his hands on his hips as his chest puffed out. “I’d be a goddamn fool not to have you sign one. And you don’t know what the fuck I have or own.”

  Well, now I was curious. What did he have that I didn’t know about? “Having to sign that thing makes me feel like you don’t trust me.”

  “Sweetheart,” his lips thinned and his eyebrows tightened, “this isn’t about your fucking feelings. I couldn’t really give a rat’s ass about how this makes you feel. You either sign it or go pack your shit.” He threw the papers on the table and stood like a statue, staring at me.

  My legs wobbled beneath me, and I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears from trickling down my face. I felt like I had been punched in the throat. I couldn’t swallow. “Do I have to sign it now? Can I take some time to read it?”

  “My attorney has been thorough,” his jaw clenched tight, “and I’d expect you to read it.”

  “And if I don’t sign?”

  “It’s a wrap between us; over, finished, finito.” He flexed his chest muscles, and his arms tightened. “It’s your call, but this is non-negotiable.”

  And to think the day was off to a good start.

  “So, I’ll give you the quick and dirty on this thing, then you can read it in more detail. It’s good for ten years. After that, it’s a null and void document. Basically, it says if we divorce before the ten years, you leave with what you came with. If we make it to ten years and a day, the pre-nup is of no consequence anymore.”

  “Okay.” I stepped back against the counter top and slumped against it. My eyes stayed fixed on the floor tiles.

  “It’s not the end of the world, Nikki. As long as we’re married, it doesn’t affect you. I didn’t put shit in there like you’d only get a $50 a week allowance or you can only spend money you make. I’ve known assholes who have done that, but I didn’t do that to you.”

  “Okay.” I glanced up to meet his eyes before lowering them back to the floor.

  “Jesus Christ, quit acting like a fucking baby about this.” He slammed his fist on the table before he stormed to the bottom of the stairs. He stopped and turned back to face me. “You can’t stomp and pout like a spoiled fucking brat and get your way. You either sign or you don’t. We either get married or we don’t. I told you, it’s your call. And you may as well lose that pissy bitch attitude, too. I’m not dealing with that silly shit all day.”

  I sat at the table and gathered the pages of the agreement into a neat pile and set them off to the side. I heard his footsteps coming back down the stairs.

  “I’ll be back; I’m going over to see Connor.”

  “What time will you get back?”

  “When I walk through that door, that’s the time I’ll be back. Look, we can get something else straight now, too. I’ve neglected seeing my friends on the weekends, but I’m not planning on that being the norm. And I don’t answer to you. Don’t think you have a leash on me or I need to check in. I’m a grown-ass man. If you need something while I’m out, I have a phone.” He grabbed his keys from the countertop. “When I get back, I expect you to be in a better mood. Get over yourself and your self-righteous feelings.”

  My mouth hung open as I watched him walk out the door, slamming it shut behind him. My mom was right, he was a total asshole.

  Chapter 20

  I read that stupid fucking agreement so many times I could recite it in my sleep. I didn’t see anything in there that warranted me getting so upset over it. I guess it was the principle that irked me. Then it was his smug berating that really pissed me off. Oh well, I was over it now. I knew one thing for sure; I was choosing not to move back into my house. I’d contact his lawyer and sign it by the weekend, before he got back home.

  I needed to talk to someone but knew Jackie was the last person I wanted to talk to about this. She’d tell me to run. As much as Sky hated Jeff, I knew he wouldn’t listen objectively. I had to talk to Mandy.

  After work, Mandy and I met up for a drink, and I explained to her that Jeff wanted me to sign the pre-nup. She wasn’t surprised and was taken aback that we’d gotten into an argument about it. She repeated what Jeff said, that he was protecting what he’d earned. By then I’d had time to cool down and think about it, and I got it, I really did. We had another drink, and I asked her i
f she’d be in my wedding as one of my bridesmaids. She was more than happy to be.

  As we left the bar, I gave her a big hug. She held me tight and whispered in my ear that she missed what we’d had. I was stunned. That was the closest she had ever gotten to talking about our college secret.

  ****

  In school, I’d had an inquisitive fascination with the sexuality of my good friend and college roommate, Mandy, because she dated both men and women. Although I’d only ever had sex with men, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had any attraction to females or what it would be like to be with one. I never hesitated to say a woman was nice looking or comment on her very sexy ass or breasts. It was a niggling curiosity. Was there something more?

  The thought of kissing a girl had been on my mind several times. How would it feel? Would it be different than kissing a man? Would I like it more than kissing a man? Would I find I really liked women? What happens after the kiss? The questions swirled in my mind like a tornado rushing through the open fields of Kansas.

  One thing I did know without any doubt, if I ever decided to try it, it would have to be with a beautiful woman, and someone who made me feel comfortable and wouldn’t do more than I wanted, someone I trusted, someone like Mandy. Even with that, I wasn’t quite sure that could actually trigger me to try it.

  During our sophomore year, we decided to remain roommates since we had become such good friends as freshmen.

  One night, we were drinking, dancing around in the dorm, laughing and giggling -- nothing unusual for us. During the frolicking, I removed my shirt and bra then climbed on top of the small table in our room; still, nothing unusual. That table doubled as our stage most nights we were drinking. I encouraged Mandy to do the same, which she immediately did. Throwing her shirt off and revealing her perky, perfect-looking 36C breasts. I felt the nervous butterflies churning in my stomach. As we danced, I rubbed my hands across Mandy’s waist as we laughed. What happened as the night progressed was very out of the ordinary for me.

  “It’s like Spring Break in this bitch.” I laughed.

  “Hell yeah. We need to do that shit for real one day.” Mandy reciprocated by placing her hands on my shoulders and moving in a way that her bare breasts glided against mine. She did this several times; before eventually sliding her hands down my chest and around my breasts, cupping them and clasping my nipples between her fingers. I gulped in a deep breath as a sudden twinge traveled from my nipples to my sex.

  “I guess this will have to do until we can save some money. We can make our own spring break. We don’t need Jerry Springer.” I giggled.

  “Very sexy, Nikki.” Mandy never looked up, and I could see that she was fixated on my hard nipples.

  I felt self-conscious and so out of my element, having never experienced this before. I couldn’t help but think to myself that it was like being a virgin all over again. Mandy took the lead and planted a light kiss on my lips, then pulled back. After looking at me to make sure I wasn’t freaking out, she kissed me again. This time, it was a deep kiss. Mandy’s tongue probed my mouth. My tongue met hers. Her fingers continued to playfully tease my nipples. The arousal in my sex was surprising. I wasn’t sure what to expect but hadn’t expected that.

  Being cautious still, Mandy asked me, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  I eagerly replied, “Yes, but take it slow, please.” I ran my fingers into Mandy’s curly black hair, then down to her breasts. I decided I would follow Mandy’s lead regarding how to touch and caress her back.

  We both stepped down off the table and made our way over to Mandy’s bed, where we sat down, snuggling close together and continuing to kiss and fondle each other. She was an excellent kisser.

  Mandy kissed down my neck, across my collarbone, and eventually down to my breasts, taking my hard nipple gently in her mouth and flicking it around with her tongue as she lightly circled and clasped the other nipple with her fingertips. Mandy was very gentle, yet confident in what she was doing. She helped me understand she wanted me to lie back without ever uttering a word. She let her hand travel down my stomach, reaching farther around my back. She slid her fingers under the lace of my panties and tugged my shorts and panties down some, letting me know her desire.

  She removed her mouth from my nipple and kissed down my stomach while moving her other hand to assist with the removal of the shorts and panties.

  “You still okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  I lay naked, nervous and curious, waiting and wanting her touch. She sat to the side of me and used her fingertips to lightly caress me while I lay there, running her fingertips across my breasts, down my stomach, down my sides, and across the V leading to my sex. She was careful not to touch me there. She continued the feathery strokes across my inner thigh up as close as she could get without actually touching there. Her touches were overwhelming to my senses and caused me to squirm and wriggle into her hand.

  Mandy continued with the teasing while the smile on her face widened and her lips pursed. She bent down and let her mouth possess mine, again probing and thrashing our tongues together. Then she straddled me and let her covered sex rub against my mound. I could feel the turmoil and heat coursing through my veins as Mandy’s kisses raged with intensity and sensuality. A slight arch in my back resulted in Mandy moving her hands attentively back to my breasts while she gyrated her hips, slowly grinding into me. I moved my hands to Mandy’s waist and walked my fingers around her back and down to her butt, pulling her tighter into me. My reaction was the acceptance Mandy was waiting for. Still a little hesitant, Mandy decided to continue to take it slow in case I was ready to quit. But I was so into her; quitting was the last thing on my mind.

  She slid down my body, letting her breasts rub against every curve on her way to my sex. She ran her fingers across my clit, then down into my hot, waiting, slippery slit. She let out a low moan as she lowered her face and used her tongue to lick around my sex, parting my lips gently, sliding her tongue into my wet, eager hole. She glanced up to see the expression on my face to make sure I was still okay. I closed my eyes with a slight smirk on my face. I almost felt like I was living a dream; this wasn’t real. I was actually having my very first woman-on-woman experience. Her fingers rubbed my clit vigorously as she licked and sucked her prize. She caused me to moan and raise my ass up, giving her more access to me. Mandy continued to thrash her tongue in and out of me in addition to tenderly sliding her fingers in me.

  Much to her delight, she coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of me, as she lapped up my juices like a starving wild animal. When she was satisfied she had fulfilled my sexual hunger, she returned to licking around my still-erect nipples until I grasped her head and pulled her up to kiss me while wrapping my arms tightly around her small-framed body. I wasn’t sure if I could or even how to reciprocate in as satisfying of a way as I had just received.

  “That’s enough for one night, my beautiful pillow princess,” she told me. “I am more than able to satisfy myself.” Mandy returned her warm lips to mine.

  I felt sated in one sense, but also felt like I had missed out on something as I walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I felt conflicted. I loved the feel of a man pleasing me. At the same time, I really enjoyed being with Mandy. She kissed better than most men; she was gentle, and her touch was soft. I also thought her oral skills rivaled most men’s.

  Mandy entered the bathroom when I was exiting the shower. “Are you okay with what happened?” She must have asked because she could see my facial expression was not my normal jovial self.

  “I’m fine,” I was quick with my answer. “I’m tired. I think I may have drank a little too much tonight.” The truth was, as I showered, I began to think about what I had just done, trying to understand and rationalize my feelings about it.

  “Well, get some rest; you don’t want to get a headache.” Mandy rubbed my shoulder. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  After the second time and less alcohol, I w
as convinced I enjoyed being with a woman but still preferred the feel of a man filling me. I became more in touch with my bi side when I wasn’t dating. Over the next couple of months, I worked to resolve the unpredictable feelings that would creep up in my mind. I wanted Mandy; I craved the woman-on-woman experience again and again. I eventually stepped out of my comfort zone and took a turn licking Mandy down there. The first time I did it, I wasn’t so sure I liked it and couldn’t get to the mouthwash fast enough. We spent more weeknights and weekends exploring, touching and satisfying each other. Mandy introduced me to her Wand toy to enhance our encounters; however, the inability to feel penetration other than fingers left me still unsatisfied.

  I eventually became more comfortable, warming up to and learning the art of cunnilingus nearly as well as Mandy. My only true gauge was the ability to make Mandy orgasm, which I was able to achieve with ease.

  The frequency of our liaisons diminished once Mandy began dating Creighton, a man she knew from her Biology class.

  Mandy was proposed to by Creighton after just six short months of dating, near the end of the school year, at which time she vowed to be completely faithful to him and discontinued all sexual contact with me. She also promised me to never reveal our exploits to anyone and vehemently requested I promise the same. Her intention was to not tell her fiancé -- she didn’t think having an affair with a woman construed cheating. But she also didn’t want to risk that relationship.

  I was respectful of Mandy’s wishes, but struggled on occasion to not embrace her, stroke her, kiss her, or feel her.