Parrots and Payback

by Ruby Loren

  “Have you already tried alternative ways to procure the photos?” I asked.

  The crime writer pretended to look puzzled by my meaning. In the end, he caved. Stephen McClean was not as tough as the detectives he liked to write about.

  “I may have used one of my, uh… other contacts. Unfortunately, the only thing they had to go on was the zoo and uh… well, this is a bit awkward.”

  “What did this contact do?” Auryn, future owner of Avery Zoo, asked.

  “I understand that the office area of some of your employees may have been searched but that was it. I’m sure nothing was…”

  “Remember when there was that big fuss over some things going missing from handbags?” I interrupted, directing my question to Auryn.

  “I do,” he said turning to look at the writer.

  “How about a nice donation to the zoo as part of my philanthropy? Perhaps an even bigger one if this whole mess is straightened out in a timely manner?” McClean looked like he was starting to sweat.

  I shut my eyes for a second, wondering what to do with the ridiculousness of this situation. Both McClean and this mystery party seemed to have taken whatever this was way too far.

  “I think we need to bring Tiffany in on this,” I said to Auryn.

  “You think?” He sounded dubious. The crime writer didn’t looked thrilled either.

  “If we don’t find a way to find this person and persuade her to let this whole thing go, everyone is going to know the truth sooner rather than later. Telling one more person won’t do any more harm. Tiff is really good with people… she’s the only one who might be able to talk to a few of the likelier suspects and persuade them to give her an honest answer. People like talking to her.” At least I knew how to admit my own weaknesses.

  I’d first met Tiffany Wallace during our joint zoo orientation. She’d started work as a shop assistant at the same time I’d landed my first ever job working as a zookeeper. Tiff was the kind of person who was able to make friends with anyone - including me. What had surprised me was that she’d kept our friendship going ever since we’d spent orientation together. I even thought we might be moving towards best friend territory.

  “If anyone can get the truth out of the girls on my list, it’s Tiff,” I finished.

  Half an hour later, Tiff had been taken through the same speech as Auryn and me. Unlike me, Tiff hadn’t rolled her eyes at the ridiculous level of ego present. Instead, she’d merely nodded and made ‘hmm’ sounds.

  Once Stephen McClean had finished, he looked at her expectantly. I also didn’t miss the way he automatically seemed to value her opinion. Perhaps it was due to Tiff’s stunning looks, but I thought it was something more than that. It was this hidden magic that had made me pick Tiff as our possible saviour.

  “I think I can see both sides of this,” Tiff said, speaking slowly. “This woman, whoever she is, feels like she’s missed out on something, and you feel that she’s acting a little over the top. I’ll have a little heart to heart with a few of the office girls over some coffee and then we’ll see if we can’t get the truth. I’m sure it’s not as bad as it seems!” Tiff said, giving Stephen a reassuring smile.

  “Thank you so much,” he said.

  “Give me fifteen minutes,” Tiff said before disappearing downstairs to presumably locate the women both she and I had in mind to engage them in some serious girl talk.

  “If Tiff can’t do it, no one can,” I said before realising that could be interpreted negatively. “What I mean is… I’m sure she’ll sort everything out.”

  “I can’t do it,” Tiff said when she returned fifteen minutes later.

  I thought McClean looked ready to tear out that silver hair of his.

  “I talked to everyone, and while you definitely have some pretty enthusiastic fans here at the zoo, no one’s admitting to having been involved with you in the past. There’s no one who matches your description very well either.” Tiff raised her shoulders a little, which I knew meant that she didn’t actually find it surprising that no one had wanted to confess to it all, given what McClean had sanctioned. I’d be pretty riled up too if I’d had my laptop wiped.

  “That’s insane! She can’t be allowed to do this. You must be able to do something. Can’t you threaten to fire people until this woman hands over the photos? I could pull this whole release. I could tell the press that Avery Zoo deliberately sabotaged my book release.”

  I observed that Stephen McClean was finally showing his true personality - the side of him that had made his agent sound so terrified about this whole event when he’d spoken to Erin Avery on the phone. If Erin himself were present in the room, perhaps he’d have been more worried by the threat of bad publicity, but although Auryn had the family interests at heart, he wasn’t naive enough to be played by this neurotic writer.

  “Mr McClean, we will do our very best to recover these photos. If they are at the zoo…”

  “…which I believe they are,” the crime writer cut in.

  “…we’ll do everything we can to find them and pass them along to you. Madi is great at solving problems. She’ll think of something,” Auryn finished.

  I tried not to stare at him in surprise. Did he really think so highly of me? I’d only ever spoken to Auryn by way of pleasantries when we passed each other in the zoo and then at meetings, and never particularly directly. I’d been surprised enough when he'd come to find me this morning.

  “That’s it. It’s done. This is what the end looks like,” Stephen McClean said, turning back to face the window in what would have been a dramatic swoop, had his foot not caught on the ancient loose carpet of the conference room. There was an office refurb scheduled for some distant point in the future, I remembered as I watched him stumble. He looked far more furious about this slight than the real matter at hand.

  “Are you still going to launch your book?” Auryn asked. To my relief, he sounded about as enamoured with the crime writer as I was.

  Stephen looked over his shoulder in surprise. “Of course I am, you idiot. I can’t cancel something like that at such short notice. My sales would be ruined!”

  I tried not to smirk. So, at least half of everything this great crime writer said was merely hot air. The mean part of me whispered that he probably deserved what was coming to him. However, my more charitable side thought of his poor fiancée, who would theoretically be shattered by the release of the photos. You might be doing her a favour in the long run, my brain unhelpfully supplied when I shot a sideways glance at the overdramatic crime writer. I shook the thought from my head. She presumably knew the man enough to love him. And much as I disapproved, it was Stephen McClean’s choice whether or not to come clean about his past.

  “If you’ll follow me, I’ll bring you to meet the head of the board of directors. He’ll give you a tour of the zoo before the event begins,” Auryn said, switching smoothly back into courteous mode.

  Tiff and I watched as he shepherded the crime writer back through the door. Right before he walked out of the conference room, Auryn turned back and mouthed ‘do something!’ with a look of panic on his face.

  I realised he’d deduced the same thing I had.

  The event may still be scheduled to go ahead, but that didn’t mean Stephen McClean was going to let his public demise go quietly… and Avery Zoo might just end up being collateral damage.

  3

  Lovebirds

  Tiff and I spoke for another five minutes but drew a complete blank. This mystery woman wasn’t going to be persuaded to give up the photos willingly, and seeing as she clearly hardly whipped them out and gave them a good shuffle on a daily basis, we didn’t have a clue where to begin looking. Tiff agreed with me that McClean, for all his idiocy, probably had employed someone who had gone through the office very thoroughly indeed - if their slick ‘handbag inspection’ was anything to go by. It did appear likely that this woman was keeping the photos close to her, which meant they probably were at the zoo - as the letterhea
d in the photo of the incriminating photos suggested. Unfortunately, looking for a bunch of photos hidden somewhere in the zoo was harder than finding a green tree frog in a greenery filled tank.

  “What do we do?” Tiff said, looking deeply concerned.

  “We go back and do our usual jobs,” I told her. “We’ll just have to keep an eye out. If this woman is relying on hard copies of the photos, she’ll have to hand them over to someone to share them with the world. If it were me, I’d pass them over to the press when they arrive. Perhaps we can stop her when she tries. It’s likely to be our only chance.”

  I noticed Tiff had narrowed her eyes at me when I’d said ‘if it were me’.

  “It’s not me, Tiff,” I told her flatly.

  She grinned. “Just kidding! I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t blackmail someone to get even.”

  I was still nodding my agreement when she added: “You’d do something way worse to make them really sorry.”

  I couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.

  We parted ways and I walked back through the zoo, feeling far more despondent than I usually did. I loved my job working as a zookeeper. Even when I’d been a child, I’d felt that I had a special connection with animals. They’d always seemed to gravitate towards me. In return, I’d strived to understand them. Having worked at Avery Zoo for a while, I was just starting to squeak a few changes past the board of directors. Changes that I believed would help improve the lives of animals at Avery Zoo. So far, the few developments that had been made had been successful, and I was already preparing my next lobby - for the echidnas enclosure to be completely overhauled. It was the largest request I’d ever made, and I knew I was going to have to rally the support of other keepers in order to get the board to agree. Even then, they may say no. Erin Avery had a reputation for being tight when it came to refurbishing animal enclosures. He believed that in a modern zoo, the money was made from merchandise and amusement. As a result, the play areas and crazy golf had blossomed whilst the zoo had remained largely stagnant. Even the electric train that wound its way through the zoo had been rebranded and pepped up with more exciting things to look at - including a spooky ghost tunnel complete with a plastic skeleton.

  I knew it was going to be tough persuading Erin that he needed to allocate some budget to the echidnas, but their enclosure was currently a flat grassy wasteland, and I knew they could live far more fulfilled lives. You’d never put a human in a box room with a plain square of grass as the only feature, so why would you do that to an animal?

  I shook my head as I walked past the owl aviary. Even if the board said no, I would find a way to get those changes made - even if it meant making them myself.

  “Hello Doctor!”

  A strange voice nearly made me jump out of my skin.

  I turned to face the rather ragged looking cockatoo, who was climbing up the outside of his wire mesh aviary.

  “Good morning to you, too, Jimmy,” I said, addressing the cockatoo.

  Jimmy was an unwanted pet who had been shipped off to a rescue centre. The rescue hadn’t been equipped to deal with poor Jimmy, and as a result, he’d started pulling his own feathers out. Since relocating to Avery Zoo and being given a mate, Martha, things had been looking up for the cockatoo. He was evidently feeling more cheerful, too, because he’d begun to talk.

  It had been quite a surprise when Jimmy had revealed his little party trick. Fortunately, his past owner hadn’t taught him anything too unsuitable for public ears, but it was obvious that Jimmy was a clever bird… and I suspected that his vocabulary was open to expansion - and not all of it would be suitable for children’s ears.

  I grinned and ducked under the safety barrier (something that wasn’t too hard due to my short stature) before reaching out a finger and letting Jimmy hold it in his claw. Considering the bad times he’d gone through, Jimmy was a remarkably well-mannered bird. He’d never bitten anyone and wasn’t even averse to some head stroking. I very much hoped that this new chapter of his life at the zoo was going to be a very happy one. I also hoped that he didn’t repeat the rude words he was sure to learn too often. “But what are the chances of that? They’ll probably be your favourites,” I said to the bird, already resigned to it becoming a reality.

  One of the board members had suggested putting up a sign, asking people to not teach Jimmy rude words. I’d been glad when the general response to this idea had been that adding the sign would be akin to asking for the cockatoo to be taught rude words.

  “Ah well… kids are going to hear those words sooner or later,” I told the cockatoo.

  He bobbed his head up and down. “Strawberries!”

  “It’s a bit soon for strawberries,” I told him with a smile before turning to go.

  “Fire! Fire! Fire in the hole!”

  I frowned over my shoulder. I was starting to think that Jimmy’s original owner must have had some pretty interesting TV habits.

  “Fire in the hole,” I muttered to myself, a light bulb flashing on in my head.

  The next moment I was trotting through the zoo looking for Auryn.

  I saw a flash of blonde inside the lovebirds enclosure. Auryn stood close by to Leah, the zoo’s bird specialist. They were both watching Stephen McClean, who looked horribly uncomfortable holding two small cups of fresh fruit - a treat for the birds. There were three currently sitting on the author and I could tell he was concerned that his suit was oh-so-close to being splattered by bird poo. I hid a smile. If no one had told the crime writer to pack a spare suit, he was likely to be looking less than dapper for his press conference later today.

  The photographer danced around Stephen McClean, whilst the writer bravely tried to look as serious as possible and keep his wariness of the birds hidden. Leah and Auryn were there to make sure no unwise birds got in the way of the roving photographer. They were also present to intervene if anything did go drastically wrong… not that lovebirds were particularly known for their ferocity.

  After my attempts at waving proved futile, I broke zoo protocol and banged on the glass. Stephen McClean jumped - probably creating a hilarious photo - but I succeeded in attracting Auryn’s attention and signalled for him to meet me outside.

  “I’ve got a plan… it might not work, but it could be worth a shot?” I said once he was outside.

  It wasn't surprising that Auryn looked less than thrilled when I’d finished talking.

  “Is it overkill?” I asked, knowing full well that it was.

  “I think overkill is all we have left and with this guy involved…” he flicked a thumb back over his shoulder “…the only way we can end this is to beat them at their own game. Dad did give us permission to do everything we could to solve the problem, but let’s not tell him just yet,” he hastily tacked on at the end - wisely, I thought.

  “Let’s go see if we can smoke out our blackmailer,” I said, unable to keep myself from grinning. This whole thing was nuts, but I was starting to get into the swing of things. “You’ll wait for the signal?”

  Auryn nodded his head gravely. “This had better work.”

  “I’ve got a good feeling about this,” I reassured him.

  “Really?”

  “Almost.”

  By the time Auryn arrived back from his supply run and gave me the thumbs up, the press had already begun to arrive, as had the event ticket holders. Tiff had been assigned to be on photograph handover watch and, as my phone hadn’t made any sounds, I was assuming that our mystery blackmailer hadn’t yet put in an appearance.

  I was about to initiate the plan when Tiff appeared at my elbow.

  “I’m so sorry Madi, Jessy turned up and accused me of distracting the HR team by flirting with them. I had to leave my lookout post.”

  I turned to see the office manager herself appear at the bottom of the stairs, right when Stephen McClean walked past. We held our breath, but nothing happened. The crowd of press was still pretty thin. If it was Jessy we were looking for, I thought
I knew why she hadn’t jumped straight on the writer and started waving the photos around. She was waiting until everyone important had arrived… and then she’d make a scene.

  “Hey, do you know if Stephen McClean’s fiancée is coming to the launch today?” I asked Tiff.

  “I’m pretty sure someone said she is.” She paused for a moment. “I think it was Jenna who told me a couple of days ago. She was in charge of the list of ticket holders, so of course she’d be the one to know.”

  “It could be her,” I observed, somehow knowing it would play right into Jenna’s desire for drama.

  “Or Jessy. Or even someone else. His poor fiancée… I hope she’s late,” Tiff said. She groaned. “Look… Jessy’s blocking the way up the stairs!”

  I turned and saw that Tiff was right - the young but fierce office manager was indeed standing vigil on the stairs. I’d hoped to be able to make my way up there before the action kicked off, but now I needed a new plan.

  “Auryn’s been collared, too,” Tiff added, inclining her head towards the edge of reception. The young apprentice keeper was receiving an ear bashing from his father - probably because he’d failed to appease the nice famous man who’d picked the zoo to launch his book from.

  “Looks like we go to plan B. Make sure they take me upstairs,” I said to Tiff, who looked baffled.

  It was only when I fell to the ground and squeezed the tiny tube of red corn syrup between my fingers that I remembered I hadn’t told Tiff about Plan B.

  Her expression when I looked up at her with fake blood smeared across my forehead was better than I’d ever hoped for. “Help! Someone call the ambulance!” she shouted.

  I widened my eyes and tried to minutely shake my head at her.