Drawn to You

by Jillian Anselmi

  “What the hell happened?”

  “I don’t know. One minute we were talking and the next he was being an ass. He sounded surprised that I was smart.”

  “And?” She’s expecting more.

  “And what? He set me off.” I take a seat at the counter.

  “Liv, aren’t you being a bit harsh? I’m sure that’s not what he meant.” She eyes me speculatively for a moment, probably wondering if I’m about to snap at her too. To be honest, I’m not sure why I blew up the way I did. I think I’m looking for ways to not like Chase. Crap, this is ridiculous.

  My elbows on the bar, I place my hands over my face. “I don’t know. I told you I wasn’t ready for this,” I pout. I take a deep breath. “I don’t know what to think anymore.” I look up at Brenda. Her eyes show compassion. She knows Evan fucked up my head. Maybe I am being a little harsh. Chase doesn’t know anything about me, why shouldn’t he be surprised that I’m smart. Now I feel like the asshole. “After I cool off, I’ll go next door and apologize for being such a bitch,” I concede.

  “Good,” Brenda nods. “Take a deep breath and realize that every guy isn’t an asshole just because Evan was.”

  I walk back through the house, out the front door, and make the right towards Chase’s cottage. I knock on the door but no one answers. I wait a few more minutes and turn to leave. Then, I hear his voice on his back deck. “I said don’t call me . . . No . . . I can’t talk about this now . . . I’m done . . . I’m hanging up now.” What was that about?

  “Hello,” I call out. I almost don’t want him to hear me. “Chase, it’s Liv.” He comes out from around the back, his expression aggravated. Then he sees me, and his expression changes into a sexy smile that makes me melt. I don’t think he knows what to make of me. “I’m sorry about before. I overreacted. I’ve been having a bad week, and I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

  He strolls towards me and stands within inches of me. He smells amazing. Hmmm, Lacoste. One of my favorite colognes. I’m frozen. He tips my head up so I am looking straight into those big blue eyes. “There is nothing to forgive,” he breathes, his voice as smooth as silk. “I’m sorry I said anything to offend you. It was not my intention,” he whispers, his lips so close to mine. I am shaking, my mind blank. He brushes a lock of my hair that has fallen out of my ponytail and tucks it behind my ear. I start to back up.

  “Okay . . . then . . . we’re all good,” I say, not quite sure of my convictions.

  “Yes, we are all good,” he breathes. Then he steps closer.

  “I can’t. “

  “You can’t, what?” he asks, his eyes shining. I can feel the heat coming off his body even without his touch.

  “I’m not ready for this. Please, don’t.” I am begging him to stop although he hasn’t touched me yet. Somewhere deep down I’m begging he doesn’t stop. But I know in this moment, if he starts kissing me I won’t be able to stop myself. His eyes search mine, looking for something that isn’t there.

  Chase closes his eyes then exhales. “Okay.” He steps back to give me some space. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

  “You didn’t. I’m just . . . I have to go. I’m glad I came over to apologize,” I say with sincerity.

  “Me too,” he purrs.

  I run back to the house.

  I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I had an amazing time tonight with Chase, until I overreacted and almost ruined it. He is so sweet, the total opposite of Evan. Evan and I would have fought until all hours of the night.

  Chase has every right to not want to see my kind of crazy. But, there is something drawing me to him. He oozes sex appeal, and there is nothing I want more than for Chase to throw me up against a wall and have his way with me. I’ve never felt like this before, even with Evan. Evan and I were more like an old married couple, more friends than lovers. Maybe that’s why he cheated. Still, I can’t take my mind off Chase, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

  I can’t wait to get down to the Casino today for Drop Dead Sexy. The deck is bound to be packed. I want to get there early so we get a good spot by the bar. It’s supposed to be a perfect day today, no rain in the forecast. I look through my wardrobe, which is mostly beach attire. I brought a few sundresses just in case we decided to eat on the restaurant side of the bar. I grab a short halter neck floral print dress and change. I wear flip-flops until about November, but if I’m going to be jumping around all afternoon, I’m going to need something a little sturdier. I find a pair of white sandals. These will have to do.

  Brenda is already dressed when I come out of the bedroom. She has on a really short pair of denim shorts with a lace camisole underneath a sheer white tank. “Ready?” She is all smiles. Drop Dead Sexy is one of her favorite bands too.

  “You look hot. What’s the occasion?” I giggle.

  “I don’t know. There are going to be lots of men there,” she says with a sly smile. Brenda works almost sixty hours a week and doesn’t have time for a man in her life. She prefers to live on the wild side.

  I plead, “Just don’t find any for me, okay?”

  “I promise, at least for today.”

  We get down to the bar around two. The band starts to play in an hour, so we have plenty of time to get a drink and place ourselves where we plan to stay for the rest of the afternoon. I run into a few friends who my family has known for years. Thank God, they haven’t asked the looming question. Maybe they think he had to work. Evan wasn’t a big fan of Drop Dead Sexy. He wasn’t a fan of the beach, either. I would have to drag him here by his hair kicking and screaming. Then, he would stand in the corner sulking, trying to stay out of the sun. He was very light skinned and would burn at the drop of a hat. I used to have to douse him in sunscreen, and he would still get all red and blotchy. He was such a miserable prick every time we came to Davis, sometimes I wonder why he even came with me at all.

  I step up to the bar and order two Rocket Fuels from Mac. These are special Piña coladas with 151 floaters. I need at least one of these a summer, and they are a must with this band. I bring one back to Brenda who has already has her hooks into a likely candidate for the evening. I hand it over with a wink.

  “Thanks,” she smiles back.

  I walk through the crowd that has started to gather. Once the band gets going, it gets very tight so you can barely move. Through the crowd, I see Chase with his friends toward the entrance to the bar. I feel a chill run down my spine just looking at him. I turn toward the stairs leading up from the beach. There at the top of the stairs stands Evan. Holy fuck. He’s the last person I expected to see here. Evan is scanning the crowd, no doubt looking for me. I duck down behind some girls and slowly make it back over toward Brenda.

  “He’s here,” I shriek.

  “Who?”

  “Evan,” I whisper horrified.

  “Where?” Frantic, she scans the crowd.

  “No.” I grab her and pull her head down. “I don’t want him to know I’m here. If he doesn’t find me, maybe he’ll leave.” I am reeling. I’m sure he’s made his way to the house already to find me absent. His next logical guess would be to come here.

  “That fucker,” Bren growls. “Can’t I tell him to fuck off?” Her eyes burn with rage.

  “No,” I reply. “I’m . . . not . . . here.” I speak slowly so she gets the hint.

  “Fine,” she acquiesces. “But if he comes over, I’m beating the shit out of him.”

  Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

  I haven’t had time to process everything that’s going on around me. Why is Evan here? Hasn’t he done enough damage? What could he possibly say that would make everything okay? I need another Rocket Fuel, and if I go to the bar, I know he will see me. Shit. I am not going to let him ruin my afternoon.

  Maybe I should confront him and see what he wants. He looks good, really good. His dirty blonde hair would be spiky if it wasn’t so long. Now, it kind of flops over. Long enough to run your fingers through and get a good grip. Soft green e
yes that sparkle with the sunlight. He has a smile that makes you melt. He’s average height, at just under six feet, with an average build. He played high school football and stays toned since he swings a hammer all day. He’s dressed in a light green, collared golf shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. The All American boy. That’s what Brenda used to call him.

  The band is finishing their warm-up and is about to start. This is bad. I’m not going to be able to hide forever. He needs to leave. Now.

  “Bren, has he seen you yet?” I ask

  “I don’t think . . . oh, shit here he comes,” she mutters, displeased. No, No, No! I duck around the side of the deck and make my way inside the bar, past the pool table, and into the bathroom. This is not going well at all. I need to think.

  What to do. I stare at myself in the wavy excuse for a mirror. He isn’t going away, and I can’t keep ducking him all afternoon. I need to confront him, find out what he wants, and tell him to get the hell out of here. Then and only then can I have my day back. Checking out my hair to make sure I don’t look like a total mess, I take a deep breath and make my way back on to the deck.

  Brenda and Evan are going at it when I get to them.

  “Why can’t you leave her alone, you piece of shit! Haven’t you caused enough damage! Leave her the fuck alone!” Even though she is screaming, I can barely hear her over the band. I know she’s pissed since her arms are moving a mile a minute.

  “What do you want?” I yell towards Evan. They both spin around at the sound of my voice. I regard him coolly, not giving anything away. Brenda, surprised I came out of hiding, is giving me a run-while-you-can look. Evan just stares. “You obviously came looking for me, so here I am. What do you want?” I keep my expression impassive. I’m fighting the urge to run my fingers through his hair. The only thing stopping me is the image of him fucking that whore of a roommate I had.

  “Hi,” he says, with trepidation in his voice.

  “What . . . do . . . you . . . want?” I say, anxiety etched in my voice.

  “I need to talk to you. I need to apologize,” he mutters, his expression remorseful.

  “I can’t do this here. Not now.” I’m losing my nerve. I need to get away before I cave.

  “We need to talk. I want you back. I made a huge mistake.” He’s begging, pleading with me. He reaches out to touch me, and I back up as much as I can. Being surrounded by a million people only lets me go back so far. He reaches again, touching the side of my face. “Please, I’m lost without you. I need you.” He strokes my cheek, wiping away a tear as he goes. I close my eyes, cherishing his touch. The touch that I haven’t felt for weeks because he’s a cheating fuck. No, I shake my head with new resolve and glare at him. I smack his hand away.

  “Nothing changes the fact that I caught you fucking my roommate,” I shriek. “How could you do this to me? To us?” I’m sobbing now. “I thought . . . you were my knight . . . but . . . you . . . betrayed me,” I say in between sobs. “Please, just let me go.”

  “I can’t. I love you. Please, forgive me.”

  “Is there a problem?” a bitter voice from behind me asks. I could feel his presence before he uttered a word. I turn around to see Chase glaring at Evan. Hostility is rolling off him in waves. Fuck! This can’t be happening.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Evan demands with some hostility.

  “Doesn’t matter. The woman isn’t happy with you, so why don’t you leave,” Chase suggests, his tone clipped.

  “This is between Liv and me. This is no concern of yours, so get the fuck out of here,” he snarls. He reaches to grab my arm, and Chase squeezes in between us. They are chest to chest.

  “Olivia doesn’t want you here, so go before something happens you’ll regret.” Chase is restraining his temper, talking through his clenched jaw. His fists are shaped into tight balls. God, please don’t let them fight.

  “He’s right, Evan, just get the fuck out of here,” Brenda snaps.

  I am a sobbing, sniveling mess. I can’t stop. I need to breathe. I can’t breathe. Chase tucks me behind him.

  “I’m not leaving,” Evan growls and tries to push Chase out of the way to get to me. Chase grabs Evan’s arm and twists it behind Evan’s back. He shoves Evan into the wall. Leaning in, he whispers something in Evan’s ear that I can’t hear. Turning to push Evan forward, Chase releases his arm. It all happens so fast, the bouncers don’t have time to react.

  “This isn’t over,” Evan says with malice, realizing he’s outnumbered. He turns and stalks off through the crowd down the stairs.

  “Come with me,” Chase says. “Let’s go somewhere where it’s quiet.” I can’t answer him. I’m still crying so he takes my hand and I follow. I haven’t really cried since I caught Evan with Brandi. I mean, there were tears. But, I never had that heart wrenching I-feel-like-I’m-going-to-die cry. It never really hit me. Seeing him here brings it all back.

  Tears are clouding my vision; I can’t see where I’m going. He leads me down the stairs and across the beach. I can’t breathe. I can’t see. I let go of his hand. Stopping, I sit down in the middle of the beach, put my face in my hands and start sobbing again. He tries to nudge me up, but I can’t move. I’m frozen to this spot. He gently picks me up, holding me with two hands. One hand under my legs and the other hand around my back. I curl my arm around his neck and sob into his chest. He carries me back to my house.

  He walks across my back deck and slides open the screen door. Walking through the kitchen, he places me down on the couch and sits down on the chair across from it. He watches me, at a loss. He doesn’t know what to do or what to say, so he waits. The tears have ceased, but I am now dry heave sobbing. I try to take a deep breath and relax, but the way Chase is looking at me is making it difficult. “Thank you,” I say.

  “For what?” he asks softly.

  “For saving me. I don’t know what would have happened . . .” I can’t finish the sentence, because I know exactly what would have happened. I would have caved.

  “Shhhh, it’s okay.” He leans over and wipes away a stray tear. “Who was that asshole anyway?”

  “That was Evan. My ex. I caught him cheating on me a few weeks ago and broke up with him.”

  “Scumbag. He doesn’t deserve you,” he says through gritted teeth.

  “He came to try to get me back. To apologize . . .” I trail off. Chase gazes at me.

  “And?”

  “And nothing. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s over. End of discussion.”

  He moves from the chair to sit next to me on the couch. His expression softens. He tucks a stray hair that has fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear; his touch sends shivers down my spine. “I think there’s more to the story, but I won’t push you,” he whispers. “I would like to help you forget about today, if you’ll let me.” I look up into those hypnotic bright blue eyes. “Music, I think,” he breathes.

  “I have a Bose. It connects to my iPod. It’s on the kitchen counter.” I‘m barely able to concentrate.

  He walks into the kitchen and finds the Bose system. My iPod is already synced up to it, so he scrolls through my song list. He nods his head, hits play, and returns to the couch. He holds out his hand, signaling me to get up. “Dance with me.”

  “I don’t think I should.”

  “I said I want to help you forget today. Let me help you,” he implores. “Dance with me.” This time it isn’t a request. He offers his hand again. Reaching up for it, he pulls me into the center of the room. Playing in the background is Coldplay, singing about trying and not succeeding.

  Chase pulls me closer and puts his arms around my waist. My arms are still pinned to my sides, I can’t lift them. He sways me back and forth in time to the music. He’s right—this is soothing. I lay my head on his chest. I can hear his heart beating and his smooth, soft breaths. As if it were habit, I place my arms around his neck. He smells divine. He leans down close to my ear and starts to sing with the song “and I will try to fix you.�
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  I look up into those eyes as he’s gazing down at me. Brushing my cheek, I close my eyes and try to absorb his touch. Chase runs his index finger down to my chin and traces my lips. My breath hitches. I’m shaking like a leaf. Staring at his chest, I’m not sure if I should run or stay. He lifts my chin so I’m looking up at him. He leans down and kisses me.

  “I don’t think . . . I’m ready . . . for this,” I whisper. I can barely breathe. God, I want him. My emotions are going in every direction.

  “I don’t want to rush you, but I think you are more than ready.” His voice is pure seduction; it causes me to draw in a sharp breath.

  Leaning down he kisses me again, but this time I kiss him back. His lips are so soft, and his tongue caresses mine. He pulls me closer, one hand in my hair and the other on the small of my back. My hands go from around his neck to running through his thick unruly hair.

  Breaking from our kiss, Chase lingers, his lips lightly brushing against mine causing my breath to hitch. Then his mouth is on me, nibbling on my earlobe. Involuntarily, I roll my head to the side giving him better access to the nape of my neck. Taking full advantage, Chase kisses and nips from the back of my ear down my neck causing me to whimper. My skin feels as if it’s on fire. I can feel him smiling against my heated skin.

  Looking down at me, his eyes are blazing full of desire. His eyes must mirror my own, since desire is coursing through my veins. Cupping my head, he kisses me again, his tongue invading my mouth. He bites down on my bottom lip. Panting, I break off. Chase’s breaths equally as ragged, he gazes down at me.

  “I shouldn’t. The timing is all wrong.” I try to catch my breath. I want him so bad, but I don’t want it to be because I saw Evan.

  “Am I wrong? Tell me you don’t feel it too.” Chase looks at me intently, trying to calm his breathing. “Ever since you crashed into me, I’ve felt this pull. I’m drawn to you. Don’t fight what you’re feeling.”